Have you ever started dating someone who was already a friend? If so, what happened with that relationship?

Question

I remember being attracted to a co-worker who was single, not dating, and I knew she was interested in dating. We were fairly good friends due to havng worked together for 3-4 years and we had many common interests. I asked her for a date and I heard a classic line that guys hear from women: "But I wouldn't want to take a chance on ruining our friendship." I thought that it was a bull shit excuse and she just didn't have the guts to say she wasn't interested, not physically attracted, or whatever. Why would that be a REAL reason not to date? Most people say that they want to be best friends with their romantic partner, so starting out with friendship means you are halfway there already! Have you ever asked a friend for a date? Been rejected? Started dating? How did it work out?

musicbrain5 · Accepted Answer

We got married. But he was the one who first asked me on a real date, 11 years ago. Coming up on 7 years married in a couple of weeks.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

It lasted twenty years until he passed …

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I had a guy friend and we hung out a lot, neither of us asked the other on a date. It was for a few months, eventually we ended up skinny dipping together and nothing happened there but we continued to hang out and then we just kissed.

Then I said, soo... want to be my boyfriend?

No one ever asked the other on a date, just hung out a lot and things evolved into that, into a relationship.

We are still friends to this day, even though things didn't work out. He got married, I got invited to his wedding.

Guy13 · Answer

I discovered that she had been dating me all along…. It is important to consider this with opposite sex friend. One of them cares with intimacy in mind.

I did that once and it is a major reason that I do not have close female friends. It is an impossibility. And, it is no different if the situation is vice-versa.

BlueScorpio · Answer

No, I've never had a close male friend for something like that to happen. But that is the story of my parents 🥰

Anonymous · Answer

Some women if not all really value a friendship with a guy because it's rare. Me and some other women that I've talked to have said they wish they could just be friends with a guy, genuinely friends without dating. I do agree that at the same time women do sometimes want to date their best friend. We are hard to read and our minds change a lot. I know women are hard to figure out we are too wishy-washy and I'm sorry for that. I'm not sure why we cannot decide on things in certain situations. But I do know certain women value a rare friendship with a man because we know how rare it is to have a male friend.

Every guy that usually interacts with us wants to date us. That may not seem like a big deal to you and you'd probably love that to happen to you with women. However, women just want to have a nice friendship they're not trying to date all the time. They just want things to be simple and light. Hopefully that sheds some light on some confusing things.

I dated a guy friend. Though, I don't know if I'd consider him a good friend where we talked a lot. I was in high school, my friends at the time sat next to this quiet guy that sat at the end of the table. We would sometimes include him when we would eat because he looked lonely and it seemed like he didn't have friends.

We didn't hit it off there wasn't like sparks flying or this amazing connection. He was like an average guy and I found him a little weird at first not be a rude or anything. I invited him to go to prom with me months later and he agreed to go.

I wasn't interested in him I just wanted to go to prom and I decided to go with him lol looking bad I feel like such an asshole. I guess he had a crush on me and he ended up asking me to be his girlfriend. I told him I would think about it. I had this girl friend who was also friends with him too and she was so pissed at me when he told her I said I would think about it.

And she came to me and yelled at me and she was like, "You better date him. He's a great guy you would be an idiot if you don't date him. You better say yes." And I felt all this pressure and I also felt bad so I told him yes. But I actually didn't like him. I felt like I was doing service work for charity by dating him. I wasn't attracted to him and he was ok to talk to.

While we dated for a few days before prom, I remember he started to do these things that really annoyed me and it felt like on thing was piling on top of another thing.

Like when we would eat at lunch, he wanted to be holding hands while I ate. He sat on my right side and I eat with my right hand so he wrapped his arm around my back so he could hold my left hand if you can imagine that. It's as awkward as it sounds. I remember he started inhaling the smell of my hair like a day into dating and I found that creepy.

After prom I ended things over text. We barely dated for a week. It's funny looking back on it. I was really immature back then I didn't know what I wanted and I was a brat. I regret for how I treated him and how I dated him when I wasn't interested. I did apologize to him years later.

Definitely would never do that ever again. I've lowered my standards and matured a lot from then.

Anonymous · Answer

I dated a friend, but wanted to take it slower because I wasn't sure if what others were saying was true or not. It was a disaster.

She asked me out. I'm open to trying things, you never know... Most people would have pegged whatever we had as "not a relationship" because it was so brief. I'm ok with "maybe we were boyfriend girlfriend, but it wasn't for long."

She was older, but didn't have the maturity level of a woman, in a lot of ways. very "high school dramatic" in a lot of ways. Very jealous (even of platonic friendships with other guys) - I found out later that she had threatened a friend I consider to be my sister, though my friend didn't tell me for ages: Didn't work), extremely immature, tried to be very manipulative (with limited results). Caught in a lot of lies. Tried making me jealous, which didn't work much. It didn't last long.

Jess_D · Answer

I recently started dating a guy friend of mine. We’ve known each other since high school, he’s my friends older brother and is two years older than me. We never dated in high school even though I liked him back then. He told me that he and his sister had a deal where they would date each other’s friends back then.

He and I got much closer over the last year or so. He’s much more mature now than he was in high school, I suppose his time in the military is part of that. But he’s still that funny and irreverent smart ass I thought was so cute back then.

So yeah we started to hang out more and last month we went out and both finally just admitted we wanted it to be more. So even though it’s only been a month, yes I have started dating a guy friend and he’s just the best.

OpenClose · Answer

I've dated a few of my friends. With one friend of mine, we tried dating and we clearly didn't have chemistry. She said some amazing things about me when we split up. We kept in touch when she moved away, and she met a guy who clicked with her right away, and they are married and have 2 kids.

Another one of my friends-turned-exes somewhat dumped me by saying "the characters in her stories were jealous that she was giving me so much attention." I figured it was some weird excuse, but she's a published author now.

Most of the time, we remain friends and then just naturally grow apart after that. Can't think of any "friendship ruining" relationships. But my relationships haven't generally been very long, so that could be why.

19magic · Answer

It's happened once back in school I remember I had a crush on this guy for ages then he dated a friend of mine. I remember being super jealous of her and awhile after they broke up I asked for his number from a friend of mine sent him a flirty text and we got together. It only lasted a couple of weeks as he was too handsy and I simply wasn't ready at the time. We did stay as friends, though I found out from a mutual guy friend a year later that he lied and told everyone that we did it, but then we were never that close so it didn't really bother me.

But most of the times I've had guys fall for me and I've either said I wasn't interested in them after they made a move. Or as a preventive I've said I'm never going to date a roommate, that's just a bad idea, which is a bit of a cop out.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

I had just broken up with my girlfriend and my female long-term friend resurfaced right in that moment. She called me, wanted to talk, hang out, hear "my side of the story." "Don't get strange ideas" she said "I just want to hang out and talk".

Then she invited me at her place to spend the evening "Don't get strange ideas, we just eat pizza and watch a movie".

Then she wanted to me go to bed with her "Don't get strange ideas, I just don't want to make you sleep on the couch".

I didn't get any strange idea, she was the one who did everything up to the point we got married.

__MisterGoneShiner__ · Answer

Asked her to be my girlfriend. She said:
"I ain't gonna date with a fool like you, i was friends with you cause i pitied you. If you think i would date you, you better go GAY instead you son of a gun!"

I was like, "a simple no was enough" 😔

ShadezMcgee · Answer

As that would be the ideal way to do it, it unfortunately doesn't work a lot. If you fall in love with a friend and express it, it becomes a new box of worms and emotions and feelings. A good chunk of the time, especially in modern relationships if you go in with friendship, it stays friendship. If you try to go from friendship to lover it either implodes or becomes awkward or strained because of the newfound feelings out in the open between the two.

"I don't want to ruin our friendship."

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

Well! We celebrated our 10th anniversary in September, we are not slowing down any time soon. I don't understand why dating a dear friend is so taboo. I am having fun with best wify, doing what we ever please for and we are both so easy to please

DJB72 · Answer

I was 16, she was 15. We'd been friends for 3 or 4 years. Basically she said she didn't want to lose the friendship so nothing happened between us. Only girl I still dream aboutl

Ndyaaum · Answer

He dumped me and we still talk as friends but from there he acted weird giving me so much attitude so we ended up arguing and we both not talking to each other im still confused about what happened in our arguments 🤨 but it’s whatever

Alex8736 · Answer

sometimes good friends make great lovers other times it can ruin a friendship but life is too short and all about taking chances and making mistakes but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

RangerBlue22 · Answer

I think women draw a much finer and distinct line on the guy they are interested in vs. the ones they friéndzone nowadays.  I have a well thought theory why.

bbear07 · Answer

i'm kind of in this situation rn... i wanna ask my guy friend out but i dont want it to ruin our friendship.

petitedollbabee · Answer

Most of my relationships have started that way. Started off as friends and developed feelings over time.

worldscolide · Answer

I did years ago. She was someone I knew since I was 10 years old. We tried it, it was fun, but we ultimately decided that our friendship was a better fit.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I have had multiple relationships with several female friends some were good relationships and some were pretty bad.

Have you ever started dating someone who was already a friend? If so, what happened with that relationship?

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