I would date a disabled or handicapped gal, and ideally, I would want us to still be able to have sex, but it's not a dealbreaker if we couldn't. In my experience however, disabled and handicapped people are no more friendly or nicer than regular people (although I tend to assume they would be). So I've never met a decent or friendly enough handicapped or disabled that's I'd like enough to date. They seem to be as big of jerks as regular people are.
I did date a disabled girl she had no arms no legs I went out with her for about 2 weeks and my cousin has come over and they started talking and I could see that they were like made for each other and I didn't see anything I just let them talk and I was going to take her home and my cuz it look at me let me see can I take her home can I look at her and she said I don't mind and I knew right then and there probably about six months later they were married
For a time in my late teens and early 20's I dated a very special developmentally disabled young woman. I'd been out on a group date and her then-boyfriend and she got into a disagreement and he SLAPPED her without her physical provocation.
I'm 6'4" and 230lbs, I took him outside and TANGIBLY explained that "words are valid but NO male is justified in striking a woman whom has not physically struck him FIRST. If I EVER see you hit her again, I WILL HIT YOU 3X HARDER! Are we clear?" And then I threw him down a 20 ft. hillside flight of concrete stairs. He seemed to get the message!
About two years later, I learned that she'd been sexually assaulted by three local toughs as she'd returned from work near her bus stop. She refused to disclose the perpetrators not wanting me to possibly get hurt. Her knowing what I AM, and could do, I explained that I didn't NEED their names, it was sufficient SHE knew.
10 days later in early August there arose an 'opportune' summer thundershower as I was helping my mother hang laundry. My disabled girlfriend lived across the valley from my familial home.
I did "my thing" while fixedly focused toward her Carrick PGH. home's neighborhood and 'serendipitously' (for the first time I've EVER seen), THREE bolts of lightning came together mid-air BEFORE striking earth... across the valley in that neighborhood. Shortly thereafter... the faint sound of distant fire engine sirens could be heard as black smoke arose upward.
As was our custom, I'd call her when she'd gotten home from work. Her first words were: "Are you satisfied now?" 'Coincidentally' the home where she was taken to be 'gangbanged' had been struck... two of her assailants got second degree burns, the Instigator THIRD degree life-altering injuries. By OUR beliefs', the Goddess has NO sense of humor regarding those whom prey upon her 'special' children~ "KARMA" is a BITCH... WITH teething puppies! Mua-ah-ah-hah! ) O ( ;)
@Crazybeeguy I'd give you her name and address but its NOT WORTH violating HER privacy for the likes of your belief~ Reference the lightning-caused house fires in Carrick, the So. hills of Pgh., PA 1969
What made it unbelievable is pushing someone down concrete stair without causing major injury and you not going to jail. So yes make up a more believable story next time.
Love love love this question!!! This may be first time I ever responded to question without reading other replies first. Why am I so passionate about? I'm a guy born with disability and have had problems with dating all my life. In fact, I've recently been considering writing book about my life as someone born with disability, which would include a bit on how dating has been for me. But! This question is if I'd date disabled girl. This is tricky and I'd say if you asked me this before 2014, my answer would've likely been 75% or more towards no. Now, after some transformational courses and programs, I'd say more like 60% towards yes. I'm not saying 100% yes because something else I've had insight with this question in last year or so is that 2 people with disabilities may not work well with certain aspects in life. Example: I was born with disability with my arms, so dating woman in wheelchair would likely not work. Though I'm in decent shape and could push around a little (if she needed or wanted) I wouldn't be able to do much. Then there's the time (s) when she may need help being lifted or picked up from chair or other places and I'd likely not be able to do, or if can not for long. Shortening story, I'm much more open to now and would need to think and talk it out with her to see if we could make it work or even just go on few dates and see how goes.
I did actually consider it. I was too shy to just ask right away if she is able to have children. That is a dealbreaker for me. I certainly found it odd to ask at the very beginning as one of the first questions. And then somehow I though it cruel to show interest, bring it up later after some time spent in conversation, only to crush her hopes by admitting that if she can't have children (or if the disability has a strong genetic component) then that means she has no chance. And then there is the possibility that she wouldn't know. What an awkward conversation that would be... Now that I think about it, its odd because I did speak to quite a few disabled people (though mostly men) on the phone and they seemed very comfortable talking about what they can or can't do. Yet somehow I still assume everyone I didn't talk to has thin skin. Something to think about I guess :-D
Generally, physical disabilities and health issues aren't dealbreakers, but I want/need to know what they can or can't do. I'm typically much more concerned with mental health issues. Like with anyone else though, it ultimately depends on more factors, not in the least of which whether we get along or not.
It depends on the severity of their disabilty. As long as i was his partner and not his carer, i'd date him if i liked him as a person.
If my husband became disabled , and needed care , i'd give up my job to care for him. But i couldnt care for someone i didn't love. So i'd date a disabled guy if he was independent
I just have one question. If you quit your job how would you have a place to live or food to eat? I have no idea what SS disability would pay. Seems to me someone would need a long term care insurance policy which are like $400 a month premiums, or more depending on your age..
I said that because i know i could afford to leave work to care for someone. I wouldn't have said it if i knew i couldnt do it. I wouldn't need to rely on benefits if i left work to care for him
You are one of the rare ones who can. Not many are in your shoes as everyone seems to be in debt anymore and are living paycheck to paycheck.
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It's possible but if the roles were reversed would they even consider it. And there in lies my serious issue. I know what I am able to put up with and tolerate and how accepting I am as a person. But I know most women would not be that way towards me ever, no matter how much they loved me.
I dated a woman once who needed me to pick her up and put her in bed. I did a lot of the house work and it was exhausting. The issue was she had basically no sex drive so I got out. Like I need to feel a connection to you especially if I'm doing everything.
Yes, especially if she shared interests with me like hobbies or such.
This could conflict if she was mentally disabled on a high functioning level so that would probably prevent me, but physically handicapped yes. I would be of course interested in having good sex so that would be a factor, too. But otherwise i would very much have no issie with that scenario. Its far more important for me to get along with my partner.
I don't know, honestly, the thought doesn't turn me off but then again, I would have to actually fall in love with a disabled girl to be able to know whether or not I would want to date her
I'm an amputee. I spend a lot of time in a wheelchair. Growing up my brother's best friend had osteogenesis imperfecta (brittle bone disease) so I've never seen a chair as anything abnormal. Losing my leg wasn't a big deal for me.
My reason for not dating a girl who was disabled was simply that I never met one I was attracted to on a mental level.
I would but admittedly she'd have to be really special, like I need to be completely charmed by her mind because if she's average in term of personality and intelligence and also disabled physically I will not date her out of some false sense of pitty, no one deserves that
I believe, everyone of us is disable in some way. Some of us have anger disability, some of us have mental/social disability. In short most of us has hidden disabilities and fraction of has physical/apparent disability. If I can make a deep connection with such girl, I will not even think that she is disable and go for an eternal relationship.
I have always believed love is blind. I can not in all honesty say that I would or would not date a disabled person. I have gone out with a disabled girl it was good but we said at the same time it was not us. Each person and personality is different. That does not mean that I would not go out again if the chance to go out happened again. each meeting is different ,
Probably not cool to not call them normal, better substitution, able bodied people. We are all normal besides a disability or mental illness, or some other disorder, that is normal to have. Never dated a disabled person, I might try it out one day, if she likes me, and the feelings are mutual.
I personally wouldn't. Not because I have something against disabled people. They simply don't happen to be my preference. On top of that, I have no issue attracting non-disabled women, so I don't see why I should go with someone who would be an unnecessary "burden". Now, if my current partner happens to become disabled, that's a different story.
Depends on the disability and how they works around it. Wheel chair? If she’s capable daily then sure but if she relied on me for nearly everything? No sorry. I have a lot to give but that on top of my current responsibilities? I wouldn’t voluntarily walk into that… if it happened it happened I’m not dipping but walking willfully into it na.
I'm not a male, but if I were, and I saw someone who I liked enough in personality, even if they were disabled, I would consider dating her. It also depends on the disability itself. There are many factors here that you must consider, the type of person you're looking for, the personality which to me weighs heavily, and also whether or not the disability could be less important than the relationship itself.
It's hard but if i fell in love with a disabled girl than yes i'm ready to marry her cause in the end she's a human being too and deserves to be loved and have her own family...
I think it depends on the severity of their disability~ as a fan of a fairly wholesome teenage novel 'Katawa Shoujo' I want to say yes no matter what! But I will acknowledge that there are stuff I that would be deal-breakers for me...
Wheelchair, one-armed, seizures, diabetes, mute or deaf I think are disabilities I could learn how to live with...
But I don't think I could live someone blind, for example~
How's she disabled when she's got the spitting image of my Sly doggy from my childhood, my buddy's lying eye never found it anything we couldn't take on together. I'm sure that girls puppy is comparably cool and awesome as my canine best buddy, I had some three decades ago.
I would want to be nice and say but I don't can't lie probably no, I kinda just don't want to constantly watch over her and help her hand and foot. I have really big goals O kinda want to achieve, I think it would be a challenge to focus on myself while trying to look over my future girl like that.
Yes! You definitely have to find that person is willing to entirely watch over their handicap boyfriend/girlfriend while trying to maintain their own life
I'm torn. Part of me says it's ok, part of me thinks about the responsibilities that comes with it. If we could find a way to become more independent (see JerryRigEverything channel on youtube), then it may work out.
I will NOT date someone with mental issues though. Hard pass on those, I'm sorry.
No, I have no disabilities. This thread was 5 months ago. Why do people keep dredging up my old threads? I have even forgotten I asked some of these questions.
I remember I met hot disabled girl she was probably most beautiful girl in that party. I was thinking to reach her but I don't really know where things would end up so I just pulled away. Tbh if she's sweet and beautiful I would give it a go maybe 1 or 2 dates
I wouldn’t say I wouldn’t. But this is a really hard question I’m not sure I can answer. It completely depends on the situation and severity of the disability.
If my guy was disabled, I still wouldn't leave him. Death couldn't do us apart. If I love someone, it means I love the whole of him whether it be his disabilities or his appearance.
If the person is already disabled than there could be difficulties for them to manage. Things would be totally different when the person you were with was totally fine and now due to some reason he is not able function to the fullest.
I did, and her reaction when I gave her the best fuck of her life was a look on her face of oh this is how it's done and I knew she had only had sex with other young guys with a dis not thier fault but you can imagine i went back for more until after a couple of weeks backed off BC she became very needy.
They might take offense to "normal people"? lol But I have. We were together 2-3 years, and friends for many more. The relationship didn't last, but not because of that.
She wanted to wait until marriage, and while I personally don't agree with that, I respected it. I also wondered how her disability might affect her when it comes to sex. I don't think she even had feeling down there? But that wasn't an issue really no and we never got there to find out. But I think she still had desires that way, so that you can work around that in my opinion. But it was other reasons. Several combined and not directly due to her disability. Issues you can have with "normal" people to lol
I would, the big issue is hygiene. I knew this disabled girl that was easy to get along with, her hygiene was bad and could not do date her. It was my ex-GF cousin, that was the issue.
Interesting choice of words, Daniela... " disabled people ever get asked out by 'normal' people." By normal, you mean people without a noticeable physical impairment? Anyway, yes I would, and I have. She had an artificial leg.
Oh my, I didn't think you'd go public with. Ok, just wishing was me😂 If you make it work, that would be quite inspiring to me and he'd be lucky to have someone that recognizes those traits (don't know if you read my reply to this, I was born with disability and long have not had working long term relationship...)
@Friendlyexperienced Lol why thank you! I would never shun away from someone who is worth my love and is special to me. I told him it doesn’t change how I view him because he’s still amazing. But I do feel conflicted since it’s new and the uncertainty… he has other health problems… so I don't know.. if it will work or if he will have enough time I get worried at times… may I ask what were the barriers or issues from preventing your experiences for long-term? I wanna educate myself more on this.
@daniela1982 I was born with what's called bilateral phocomelia. Meaning my arms are short, I have bent wrists, and less fingers. Feel free to ask! I came to this app to share myself as man with disability to assist with expanding minds of women, and to learn more and expand myself. Maybe make friend or 2 and who knows in dating world, LoL
@bobalife it's quite natural to feel conflicted and uncertain when trying on something new and unknown! One way to maybe see is when you first went on date, drove car, first day of work, etc. I think it's amazing that you're open to and even though these conflicting thoughts and maybe feelings you're continuing to at least be open to talk. I'm happy to answer more about barrier's. I'll maybe need to add second reply or maybe even private message (some may be a little more personal than I want to post in general chat where everyone can see)
@bobalife after reviewing my initial reply and reading your question again. For most part, it seems like the long terms in my life were due to more "normal" reasons for relationship to not work. I have a lot I'm committed to and responsible for. No children, but other things and with my most recent relationship, she'd get mad at me and yell at me for forgetting things. I brought up that I have a lot going on because if I don't take a bit of time to write out and reflect on what's happening in my life, I forget. As I mentioned these courses I've taken, I really began to see my value (which for many years I hadn't and could be reason things didn't work out with other's) and that I deserved more, so I stood up to her when she did this. I also tried talking it out with her. We didn't make it work, so we broke up.
@Friendlyexperienced Sometimes we get the right person and sometimes we don't. The clue is to not give up. It only takes one to come along that is right, no matter how many wrongs there are.
@Daniela1982 yes, thank you. I've been discovering that in the last 9 months. After we broke up and after every break up, I do often lay back or quit for while. As I'm getting older, it's becoming more and more difficult to "see the light" due to the life that I've lived. Though, this year I've taken on pursuing dates and making friends more than ever. And again your posting this question is inspiring and reminding me not to give up.
It would depend on the physical attraction and how much if any assistance they would require in normal daily activities. You have to remember that a perfectly healthy person could end up handicapped in life!
I would, the big issue is hygiene. I knew this disabled girl that was easy to get along with, her hygiene was bad and could not do date her. It was my ex-GF cousin, that was the issue.
Absolutely I would. In fact I tried to date a girl with palsy. She used crutches and a walker and a wheelchair sometimes but she was all tattooed up and sexy af. But she wasn’t into me.
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