Found out my dream girl and soon to be girlfriend is 17 and in 11th grade. Now what?

[Inthecraphole]

I met her on a dating app. It said she is 18. She later disclosed to me that she is actually 17 and in the 11th grade. She asked her mom if she can date me, and her mom approved of it.

She has never had a boyfriend and is still a virgin. She is homeschooled but attends this hybrid day school program.

I have been seeking a girl that has never had her first love. I feel she is godsent because she is almost exactly like that last girl I wanted to be with but didn't want me in return. She is a devout Catholic, conservative, wants a big family, wants to marry young young be a wife and mother. She has good values.

What are your thoughts?

[SkyCastle90]

Go for it. Her mother already approved of you, she's going to be 18 in a year, and this girl thinks you're the one.

Red Flags I'm seeing:
1. You're comparing her to a girl you wanted prior. Stop that asap. This child may not care now, but she'll grow up and realized she just in another girl's shadow; a replacement, a substitute. Love her, not the idea of her.

2. Understand you're going to be her semi-father figure, and basically raising your wife. She's going to clueless about a lot, have patience.

3. She's her own person and is going to change/grow up. Understand that scientifically, our brains aren't fully developed until 25; so you're basically dating a mystery box. Keep an open mind.

4. You're going to be her everything; dont take that lightly. Read Love Language Books and more, because it's going to be intense and possibly overwhelming, losing your cool is the last thing you want to do.

Personally, I think it'll be better to find someone a little older or at least out of high school.

[Inthecraphole]

Thank you so much!

[InventorofWarp]

I'm gonna add in here (I know I'm male) but I'm still a virgin at almost 25 waiting for the right girl and my close friend is 42 and has helped me a lot in terms of relationships and growing up.
I was probably worse at 22 than I was at 17. Maturity and cluelessness-wise. And my level of knowledge on relationships and sex is still kinda next to zero and I'm basically still 12 there. So, the whole "you're basically raising your spouse" thing is uh... yeah. That's accurate.
Have a lot of patience. Try and see things from her perspective. Do right. You got this.

[snowgirl123]

I don't see anything wrong, as long as you are willing to love her, be loyal to her, and you make sure she is right for you. as long as you love her, and make her happy. make sure you give her a good home, provide and protect her always. I mean look, there's nothing like teenage love. I think the experience of being her first love will be so beautiful, you will be so proud and happy. if you're good to her, she will always love you and cherish you. BE HAPPY.

[shayes904]

Look deeper my friend. There will be differences between the two of you that are hard to get past. I dated a girl who was 18 when I was 32 for a few months. She was into things I was already past in my life. She could not understand some of the references I made. We had fun together for a few months, but cocaine use tends to be a deal breaker for me, and we were just very different.


If she is 17, obviously, you have to stay away for legal reasons, but this sort of situation tends to be problematic even without that.

[CuriousJC]

Your best bet is to take it nice and slow and wait for her to give the signal. You should never rush in a relationship, also make sure that you are in the same state as her because long-distance relationships are a waste of time especially when your emotions and desires and her emotions and desires start building up inside of each other and start over flowing like a kitchen sink. But take it nice and slow and make sure you get her a bracelet or something that has your name on it to know that she is taken by you.

[exitseven]

Ghis happened to me. She told me she was a senior. I assumed she was a senior in college because I was at a party with all college kids. She was the friend of the host's younger sister. I do not think she purposely deceived me but we dated for a few months. I knew we would not be having sex but I was okay with that.

[magiusX26]

this all started with a big lie, her using a dating app illegally. how do you know she is not telling other lies? how do you know she is even a she? how do you know her mom gave approval? where is her dad and what are his thoughts on this? and other such questions.

[tatianamay]

She lied to you, man, but she is 17. Its illegal for you to have sex with her or date her depending on the state you're from. Wait until she's a little older. Don't you want her to go to college (assuming she is planning to) and live her life?

[Inthecraphole]

She said she wants to be a stay at home mom. She has traditional values. She lives in Michigan where the age of consent is 16. But we promised each other we will not have sex until marriage.

[tatianamay]

You are manipulating that girl. Why can't you land girls your age? or someone who is well over 18? You want easy sex, huh?

[Inthecraphole]

No we are waiting until we are married for sex

[tatianamay]

Why aren't you answering my question? Are you willing to wait until she turns 18? She's not even old enough to drink!

[Inthecraphole]

I am going to go see her probably soon. I'll make her my girlfriend if we like each other.

[tatianamay]

Wait until she turns 18

[tatianamay]

Do her parents approve of you?

[Inthecraphole]

Yes, I know her mom approves of me. I don't know about her dad.

[just_a_potato]

That is pretty creepy.. but because she's turning 18 anyway that's all I have to say about that. Just remember she lied to you about her age. There are many other things she could be lying about. Good luck.

[sensible27]

What do you mean when you say she has a pure heart? I guess 17 and 18 aren't really that different if you're willing to date a 17 (or 18) year old..

[Inthecraphole]

She has never been in love before and never experienced heartbreak. Her heart is unguarded.

[sensible27]

In some ways sometimes experience is better..

[ChrisMaster69]

Just not creepy enough really.

it has manipulation written all over it.

[Inthecraphole]

Creepy? Why? I asked her if this is really what she wanted. She said her parents are 14 years apart in age and her grandparents are 20 years apart in age and have been married for over 50 years.

[ChrisMaster69]

It’s creepy on how you describe the entire thing.
if it’s true it’s weird and worrying.
It smells of the usual manipulation of a minor by an adult.

[Anonymous]

Actually meet her parents and let your intentions be known. To be sure they are all right with you dating her. Hold back on the physical stuff until she's older and don't push your views on her. As people that age are more apt to agree for approval.

[wankiam]

she lied... other than that its up to you what you do but you should consider that one point before you commit

[Dinosaursandanime65]

It’s just a little less than a year it’s fine. That’s like saying sharks aren’t fish because they have sharp teeth

[boggboss]

Like u made this up because u know people always said it wouldn't happen

[Inthecraphole]

I didn't make this up. I started talking to her 5 days ago. It is a miracle. She is exactly what I want.

[boggboss]

Well meh if its true good for u but I doubt it 👍🏽

[InventorofWarp]

I mean this seems like an absolute win for you, no?

[Anonymous]

Why would you even date an 18 year old girl? 9 years younger than you. Just want a young girl for sex?

[Inthecraphole]

No, I don't want her for sex. I wamt a girl with a pure heart that has never had her first love before.

[Opinion Owner]

Are you equally pure and innocent?

[noohair]

I have no problem with the age difference.
I would approach her parents and respectively tell them your intentions.
She might have college plans.

[Anonymous]

Well what’s the difference between 17 and 18? She could be like 2 weeks away from turning 18

[Juxtapose]

You better check the age of consent laws or pray that you don't get snitched on.

[okeydoke]

I think you’re a fucking creep if you go through with it. She’s still a fucking high schooler.

[Anonymous]

That you’re a creepy semipaedophile who wants to date a child, when you yourself are close to 30. There is something mentally wrong with people like that.

[Inthecraphole]

Her parents are 14 years apart in age and her grandparents are 20 years apart in age and have been married for over 50 years

[Anonymous]

If the love is true, it can wait until she is 18 to get more serious.

[Gabygaby]

Hot damn!