How do you get into relationships with guys who seem far out of your league especially as a young inexperienced female?

[Anonymous]

I’m an 18 y/o female and for my entire life I’ve never been really interested in relationships or anything similar. I never had crushes or talked about stuff like that with friends.
Recently though I went to an open mic night in hopes to get reconnected with the music world since I fell away from it about a year ago and I met this 22 y/o guy. He plays guitar and he’s kinda become friends with the group I go with so we also go to his other gigs when we can and we even met his mom (bless her by the way she’s so sweet)

For the first time in my life I felt like I’ve never seen a more beautiful person and in more than a physical sense. The energy he lets off when he performs or really just exists is the most beautiful thing I’ve got to witness. It makes me so happy just seeing him in his element like that. I’m pretty sure this is what a crush feels like? But I almost feel like it’s more intense than I’ve heard it be described. I’ve always had crushes explained and they felt very guided by physical attraction and sure he isn’t bad on the eyes but it’s so much more than that.

What really sucks is that I don’t think I could ever have someone like him. He’s so unbelievably out of my league and I’m sure has never even seen me in the same way for a second.
Boys have crushed on me or asked me out in the past but it was always the creepiest ones, incels as the internet would describe them lol.

I wish I knew how to interact with and handle these feelings and I wish I could tell him how I see him without being weird. I want to tell him how beautiful and vibrant he is and I want to sit for hours and listen to him play even when he hates how he sounds.
If anyone has any pointers or advice or something it would make me feel a lot better to hear from someone else who’s had more experience. I don’t know if I should try to pursue him or if I should just keep sitting on the sidelines admiring him until he gets a girl and then just do my best to move on…

[SallyTho87]

Sometimes, you need to take an opportunity that is presented to you! You are SO young, you have a ton of growing, maturing, and experience to obtain in the near future! You are clearly more attracted to this person than just on a physical level, and you two have similar interests which you can confirm already you guys will have something to bond over. :)

Why not take a chance and talk to him more? Get to know him, befriend him, build the connection and bond with him and see where it goes? You could always invite him out for coffee or something, approach him and be like
"Hey, thanks for introducing me to your mum, she's really sweet! Can I buy you a coffee next week to thank you for inviting me to your other gigs? I really enjoy watching you play!" and see what he says!

You truly don't know how this person feels about you, he could be crushing on you too! but don't let fear prevent you from making a move or at least trying to connect with him on a personal level!

You can always invite him to grab food with you after his gig, or invite him to hangout and practice while you work on some new material. Even ask him "Hey, would you mind listening to my newest piece? I would really appreciate hearing your thoughts on it!" and this invites him to join you, one on one, to listen to your soulful words, while also getting to spend time in person with you too.

I hope you take a chance, and let ALLLL these worries go. Please don't let fear ruin something that could be amazing. You never know until you get out there and try, and that is what gaining experience and learningn is all about!

[Asker]

Thank you! I will take it into consideration. He did ask us once to hang out after an open mic but i didn't bring my own car that night and the rest of the group wanted to go home so if i asked him again I dont see why it couldn’t happen!

[SallyTho87]

SEEE! Take him up on his offer! He is trying to spend time with you girlie :) I hope you guys can make some plans together soon!

[Anonymous]

He's not out of your league and you're not out of the league of those so called "creeps"

You have a crush on him. This is how crushes are.

You can't force a relationship. He either likes you or he doesn't. There is nothing you can do but find out if he likes you.

But I say the things I say because so many people think they are better than others. You're not. So many people think there are superior people out there. There's not. He's just some guy who you like. He's not better than you. And you're not better than the "creeps" and you should stop calling them that. They just aren't in congruence with the way you think and operate.

If you date him it doesn't make you special and if you don't it doesn't mean you are inferior.

[Asker]

I agree with most of your points but I will say those “creeps” will continue to be called that because they sexually assaulted women/girls that I’ve known in the past when they did agree to dates with them. They are creeps they aren’t just the odd ones out they are creeps. I don’t care if it was because they were desperate.

[fordtruck]

Take it slow in middle school I was always the guy to ask girls out and was always rejected but when I started high school I stopped doing that and now that I am a junior I go swimming at the lap pool and about a month into doing that a girl my age started swimming to so I asked her if she wanted to race me to see who could swim a mile first after that I offered her my number and she took it now we plan on going swimming together and now that it’s nice out we are planning on going on a bike ride together but she likes me and I like her so we are dating with out knowing we’re dating

[molonski2]

He is not remotely " Out of your league " Look , for me when I was young , I always attracted younger girls , its just how it was , legal age , but younger , its pretty tough is you are " that guy " even if they are in your house , to make a move because its just super risky if you had misread it..

So , its kinda up to you and this happened to be a lot at around age 25 , because I looked young , and niche surfer look , beach bum stuff -- So just throw yourself at the ones you like , you will probably be super shocked and suprised.

[Jacobbbb]

If you were to tell this guy what you confessed to us it would probably make his whole life. Guys don't hear sweet and genuine words often so it would definitely have an impression on him. But don't rush that. Be his friend for a bit. Get to know him a bit deeper. Then let him know how you feel.

[DishLady]

If you’re too young or inexperienced, watch because there are guys who just pick on innocent girls and take advantage of them. They’re toxic… be careful.


On the other hand, for some guys it’s just refreshing to be around someone who doesn’t have all the crazy hangups of a more experienced person, which may also appeal to guys who are “out of your league” but have good intentions.


Be careful and look closely to see which of these is approaching you.

[dustybiker2]

Be clear. Most woman these days play games. Woman who say it as is and in a kind way can be refreshing.

[FuqUFggt]

Suck his dick or show him your titties. its that easy

[Asker]

😭🥲

[DrPepper12]

TELL. HIM. Just say you want a relationship.

[Staximus]

Sounds like you are just razzle dazzled by rock star bullshit. Don't be such a groupie and get to know him more before you invest such obsession into a guy

[genericname85]

why would you even want that? you'll ruin your feeling of self worth doing that.

[OddBeMe]

That guy ain’t out of your league.

[Asker]

Haha if leagues dont exist then he isn’t out of mine but if they do he definitely is😭

[In_Trance]

Get some experience first