How do you not get validation emotionally from coworkers? Is it normal to seek it?

[Anonymous]

Or is it cause i have no friends or family. I look for love in my coworkers.

[SueShe]

A lot of people need validation and is not the sole prerogative of the one or the other gender.

The best example is how people are depending on social media and the number of followers they have. They seek validation by wanting to have more followers than the friends or colleagues. It is a vicious circle because the more validation you get, the more you want.

As for you, you should be very careful with your seek for validation because you could easily fall into a number of traps, mainly with those people that you don't know well enough, like work colleagues or co-eds.

Those "false" friends are very quick at finding your weakness and possibly taking advantage of you, both emotionally but mainly physically.

You do seek it because you lack emotional closeness from someone.

[Asker]

What do you mean those false friends can quickly find your weakness? And why is that so?
I can't help that i have nobody.

[SueShe]

What I mean is that if you show those coworkers that you seek validation, some will definitely misuse your need and that is why I call them false friends because they are not interested in being friends but only how to take advantage of you and your situation.

Of course you cannot help that you have nobody but that does not mean that you should not be selective with whom you get a little closer.

[Asker]

Yep I got used by a guy who would abuse me mentally and sexually and then he got promoted to a new department and i rarely see him and he has my number and yet makes no effort to talk to me like we would talk at work. He was a fake friend. I thought he had SOME regard for me since he spent so mch time coming after me trying to be closer, but the fact he doesn't care if we even see each other anymore shows me it was him using me.

[Asker]

Can i ask how do I not show my need for intimacy to others? I generally keep to myself so its not like i really try to get close to everyone. I am not sure what I'm doing wrong.

[SueShe]

What you can do is to get a hobby or join a club where you can meet people sharing the same interests as you do.

By doing so, you get some kind of validation but you don't look desperate for it since all those in the group have a common interest and you get to be in contact without looking for validation. You are accepted as a member and not as someone that is in need of validation.

[Gt68hgt]

True cause we would all be there for love of the interest. Thanks!!

[Anonymous]

Not from co-workers. Depending on what exactly you're seeking, it might even get you into trouble.

[IncognitoBandito]

I have casual friendships with coworkers but not really love too often

[Gt68hgt]

Im not a fake person so i dont do casual friendships
I actually value humans

[Iron_Man]

No only in sports Not work who cares