How do you not let yourself get personal or get personal feelings about coworkers?

[Jjiiyyuuu]

I’m starting to realize maybe I’m delusional because most people at work seem to be able to not take things said there personally. They are able to joke around and have small talk even about their lives and yet they don’t seem to develop undue crushes on others and let themselves get emotional about others positively or negatively.

I start liking some guys or at least think they are trying to get in my skirt or that they like me to some degree if they are friendly to me especially if they ask me any personal questions. Not always but it happens often and I’m starting to realize these guys usually don’t try to get my number or hang out outside work and in many cases they even have girlfriends. So I need to adjust my understanding of reality and stop assuming guys like me and stop liking guys who are just being friendly at work for the sake of social lubrication.

I get very emotional about guys at work and some don’t even try to ask about my life. They just say hi in passing.

even when guys do compliment me or “flirt”, I have to realize it doesn’t mean they want to date me or even like me in any real way because most of them don’t ask for my number or try to chat outside work.

even the flirtiest or friendliest men towards me at work have been/are taken and never tried to contact me outside work like asking for my social media. Yet I spent years or months obsessing in my head about everything they do or say to me and whether they like me.

I want to be done with being delusional. Maybe i need to try a new method for current t and future jobs: just realizing work is work, not personal at all, and don’t think guys actually want anything from me just because they’re friendly or make comments about me that seem personal. It doesn’t mean they are being serious. They’re just trying to build rapport with coworkers.

[MissTrix]

It's not delusional! In school we are taught those things mean they care

In work means they are bored often messing with you. Seeing if they can get a reaction or string you along.

Work friends are not real friends but as adults it's hard to find and make friends! 😭

I try and be a good friend no matter what but all my work friends would drop any plans we make for any reason.

They are trying to get under your shirt but pretend they don't want to! Cause they might get caught or rumors

[Purpleronnie]

Your perspective seems really emotionally immature. Work is just that , it’s not a social or dating club. You’re there to earn your wage and conduct yourself respectfully, professionally and courteously supporting your colleagues carrying out the role you have been employed for to the best of your abilities. You are simply reading too much into everyday interactions with people who are just being friendly whilst maybe also trying to have a little lighthearted fun. If I walk into an office full of women as I commonly do in my day to day role and one of them smiles and says “ is that new shirt , it looks good on you “ I don’t automatically question my relationship with my girlfriend thinking she wanted to get married and have my babies. 👶

[Friendlybro79]

Try to meet guys after work. Go to happy hour with your friend's that go out to happy hour with their co-workers. If you're serious about your job it can be a bad idea to start relationships with co-workers anyway. Not impossible but in my 30+ years of work ( I started at 12 lol) I have seen it work less times typically. You gotta find another source of meeting people.

[Gerybbgg]

There’s so many couples at work

[Friendlybro79]

@Gerybbgg good luck

[Gerybbgg]

Thanks. What for?

[Friendlybro79]

@Gerybbgg with your situation. Wish you well.

[Gerybbgg]

Which situation lol. I was saying I notice a lot of couples at work.

[Friendlybro79]

@Gerybbgg your original question lol. How not to have feelings about coworkers... I don't know how else to help. It's hard to not have feelings when you're around people every day.

[Gerybbgg]

Oh. Thanks. I think a guy at work likes me actually. Someone online said he likes me.

[IslaTheWitch]

I keep things professional... we joked inside my team, but we knew the boundaries...

[lorenzomichael]

You need to know where to draw the line or if the line is already drawn Meaning, if a coworker is already married or has a partner or engaged. You don’t cross that line You need to have discipline, Morals, respect and Honesty within yourself. And if you do, you will be a well respected person in society people tend to see those types of traits. However, if your coworker is single and no ties at all, then do what you gotta do, but keep in mind. One of you is gonna have to quit. I don’t believe two people that are with each other in a relationship can work together. That’s just my belief my opinion.

[Iron_Man]

You can’t control it even online that happens or even in gaming areas online that happens

[Jjiiyyuuu]

In gaming areas? Do you game online?

[Iron_Man]

Yes I do wherever there’s men and women getting together doing things there’s always some kind of attraction of bonding either through communicating or pictures being sent out and getting to know each other better

[Jjiiyyuuu]

Yeah but at work it’s different because money is in the line and most people are just trying to be friendly for works sake not to bond with others or get a date.

[Iron_Man]

Well, if this will help, I’ve had work crashes when I went to work and at school and girls have looked at me in the streets

[Iron_Man]

Opps I mean work crushes

[ohsheeT]

I think everybody knows the scenario of co workers get together everything's fine until it ends and when it ends there's usually one of them that get fired so that would be my motivation to not do it

[WhitneySnow]

They’re probably just being friendly. My mom says people shouldn’t date at work unless they really really like each other. Like Romeo and Juliet like.

[Gerybbgg]

How do you tell if you and a guy like each other like that? Not sure what you mean by that.

[WhitneySnow]

@Gerybbgg you can’t tell unless you’re the girl or the guy. What exactly is your situation?

[Gerybbgg]

I have a boss at work and when we
Talk at times I leave him feeling like he has a protective energy. I feel a sense of peace. He’s hit on me months ago.

[WhitneySnow]

@Gerybbgg I suspect he probably likes you. This can be a good thing if it makes you happy being around him. My mom says it’s not worth it unless you guys really like each other because most corporations hate their employees dating each other, but I’m not so sure. Then again, I haven’t really had a job except for a summer job at a bookstore.

[Gerybbgg]

Thank you to you and your mom for the advice! I see a bunch of couples at my job (at a store) and surprisingly haven’t seen any drama from them.

He does make me happy and gives me peace. I don't know why. He’s just really cool inside I suppose.

[WhitneySnow]

@Gerybbgg that’s great! Hope it works out with them

[Gerybbgg]

Thanks! It could be Romeo and Juliet don’t you think?

[WhitneySnow]

@Gerybbgg it could be 💕

[Gerybbgg]

Cheers. Hope you find it as well if you want that.

[WhitneySnow]

@Gerybbgg already have it 😊. But thank you!

[Gerybbgg]

That’s nice! Np

[Abbycado]

God, just stop spamming. This is your second account today ffs

[mobiusforniner]

You love yourself. In my experience, women who have difficulties with love and boundaries, whether at work or not; is often because they’re lacking in self esteem.

[RingOfFire]

It sounds like low self-esteem to me. Like you are desperate for someone to take an interest in you. I think the best way to handle that is to work on your self-esteem. You have to like who you are before someone else can like you in that way.

[jazzy34]

Remember why you’re there: to do a job. Yes, friends come, but that’s secondary.

[TheStaleMarshmellow]

The fact that everyone is expendable if your in an hourly position.

[paledreams]

Aren't most jobs lacking in job security 😕

[TheSpaceGnome]

You are overthinking things because you're lonely.

[the29thhuman]

work is for income, not for flirting or relationships. Grow up

[KrakenAttackin]

"I get very emotional about guys at work"... holy fuck are you a red flag 🚩🚩🚩

[Nikki1989]

Duplicate account!

[scott04sa22]

Love yourself and move on from coworkers

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

By not, trusting theM.

[jahaims]

Maturity