I'm honestly embarrassed to be asking this question...
OK, so for a while, I've been trying to date my BFF's sister, who I've nicknamed "Wolf" in my previous questions. Well yesterday, my friend told me she's not interested in dating right now, so I am still very much single. The reason why I liked her was because she was tall, physically strong, and dominant--all traditionally masculine traits!First rule of Fight Club: You don't talk about Fight Club.The thing with me is, unlike a lot of men, I find masculine traits more attractive in women (not attracted to butches/studs though), and I actively seek that out; feminine traits are less important. So you can kind of guess what kind of man I am.
It's not just general tomboyishness/male interests and hobbies, but also traits like dominance/leadership, bravery, assertiveness, aggression, tallness (Sorry to the tall ladies here), a willingness to fight and kill, logic, fighting skill, physical strength, and athletic/muscular bodies. Dominance and strength are especially important.Honestly, my ideal woman would be closer to Revy from Black Lagoon. She's one of the most masculine women in the anime.My problem is that because I fall for male traits instead of feminine traits like normal men do--me being short at 5'6 and an introvert doesn't help--I'm not sure how to try to date accordingly. I don't know where to start, and I could use genuine tips. All I can think of is going to male-dominated areas like martial arts classes or shooting ranges.So ladies and gentlemen, do you have any tips and advice for me? How does a guy who's attracted to male traits in females try to date and find a relationship?
First off, it's a bummer that your friend's sister isn't interested in dating now and I know how much you were pining for her, but honestly if I was to talk to you man to man and as your friend, I didn't see that going anywhere with the talks we had about her.
Now this gives you time to find new women to talk to. Honestly finding women that you like on the physical side with height, muscles or traits or any of that, your best bet would be to join a club that focuses on outdoors, sports or exercise. I see plenty of women at the gym and doing crossfit that get pretty swole. A lot of them are also country and farm girls. Athleticism could be a good area to look as well. These are active women and will be easier to find as an active person, not somewhere like a library or online forums and fan groups or through YouTube. Try hiking, go to a dance class, join a shooting league if you have a gun, take martial arts classes.
These are some spots you can find women like that, but you also need to be able to communicate and talk with them face to face, not over the phone or using one of their friends to talk to them. Have you tried using dating apps like Bumble or Tinder? Hell, even online dating sites? At least then you can find local women and mold your profile to what you look for and try to stand out and find them that way. You also be able to know who was interested if they like your profile or message you.
Biggest thing I would say bud is that you should be willing to work on yourself a bit. Take your mind off of Wolf and focus on developing and leveling up as an individual. Being introverted isn't a bad thing, but you do need to be able to talk to people. Join a public speaking group and learn to be a little more social and to help you iron out any anxiety or nerves. Join groups that make you step outside of your comfort zone and make new friends. So for example instead of something anime or web related, maybe try something active like crossfit or hiking. Get outside and get some exercise and meet people in person.
You don't change who you are, you just build on top of who you are, if that makes sense. You don't need to become an extrovert. You don't need to get jacked or anything, although I think having some muscle will help you on a physical and mental level. Biggest thing is to do all of this for yourself, not for women and their attention. Focus on you and building yourself up as a man and eventually a woman will find you.
I believe @JosyJosy gave you some good insight. Tomboys are all around you. You just won't know unless you talk to them and get a feel for their personality amd their hobbies.
You can be smaller than her, but don't be overly weak/submissive. Or, "don't be a bitch." Girls don't respect that, no matter what. You don't have to compensate the other way, but like the rule in general, women seem to love high pride ('confidence') in men.
Most of my exes (8 out of 10) were taller than me, not that that's hard to accomplish, but I'm not into masculine women. Like I said, even "tough women" are still women, and still prefer "equals" to them in mentality. They're not actually men because tough men prefer feminine, dainty partners. But women almost never "date down." (Even though it's dumb that they don't.)
Well, Wolf isn't masculine either. It's just that most of her "guy traits" were physical. She was tall and strong, and proud of both. She genuinely liked being in charge, though. My friend said that made her incompatible with her ex-boyfriends; they always broke up because the guy had problems with her taking the lead.
Hm maybe get to know a person first. I mean going to martial arts/shooting range is one thing, but they might do something else. It's not cause she doesn't do those two that she isn't a tomboy or wouldn't have interest in trying those activities. You never know who that stranger is until you talk to them. Yolanda for example. You won't know, until you get to know her, she looks harmless.
You're kinda right. Wolf was actually feminine, and a lot of the masculine traits I saw in her were physical. Tall, strong, she was taught how to fight by her mom.
If you like that sort of thing then date a feminist, I guess. I'm not really sure what else to tell you. There are plenty of masculine-minded women out there these days, so I'm sure you can find a Boss Girl type if you really want that, but the issue is that when women like that get with guys that are less masculine than them, they often end up resenting and leaving him/cheating.
I love Revy from Black Lagoon, but honestly I love her because she's dark and twisted like me. I can relate to that, but I don't really consider her to be masculine. Aggressive, yes. But she's aggressive because she's a damaged woman, and a woman with quite feminine curves at that. So I find that attractive in a fantasy anime girl sort of way.
I know what you mean by a masculine-minded woman, but those tend to be career women, and I know better than to go for THOSE. I kind of mean someone who is naturally more masculine, or is masculine in the physical sense (Loves sports and the outdoors, is into weapons, etc).
Plus, I really hate what feminism has become. It's been corrupted and ruined by misandrists. I want nothing to do with that.
It's not just that, though. Some of the male traits that I'm talking about can also be mental, like dominance (you mentioned that one in your first comment). Or they can be a greater propensity for logic, which basically means being more logically driven and less emotional.
Or having nerdy hobbies and interests which tend to be male dominated, like prehistoric animals.
There's nothing wrong with it. I like strength in women to whether it's drive, strength of character or physical strength.
I like someone who can stand beside me rather then behind me if that makes sense. And I like a balance of weak/submissive and strong/dominate ideally I'd want my girl to have both those traits.
But if you like strong dominate or masculine women go for it, just make sure your the kind of guy that kind of woman would want to be with. Because usually strength begets strength.
What do you have to be embarrassed about? So you like tomboys; what's the big deal? Every man has his compulsions. Just seek a tomboy who will cater to yours and still respect you as the man that you are.
It's not just tomboys, actually. It's just women with masculine traits. Wolf, my friend's sister is pretty girly. However, her male traits that drew me to her are that she likes to wear the pants in relationships, and that she's tall, strong, and knows how to fight.
Basically, Wolf is a girly girl, but most of the traits that made her hot to me were physical.
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