Is it okay to date a man with a history of DV even though he is open about it and says he changed?

Question

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

It depends, is it true DV or some form of fake.

What I mean by fake is, here people can call the police on a couple for DV disturbance and when they show up, someone HAS to be arrested if certain criteria is met. For example, if they show up and a plate fell on the floor and is broken, they legally are forced to arrest someone, usually the man. As he could of been destroying stuff precious to her as a form of domestic violence.

Did it just fall on the floor on accident or was he really throwing stuff?

I know a mother and daughter who got in a fight, living together and neighbors called the police on them, the mother left and accidently drove over part of the daughters flower bed and was charged with DV for destruction of it. When in reality, she just left in anger and wasn't paying attention to where she was driving. The daughter didn't even want to press charges but her mother got convicted anyways.

So if it is TRUE DV, I'd say hell no... not a chance, but you'll just have to take his word for it and if things get too risky, get the hell out fast as you can.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Accepted Answer

It’s not about “is it okay,” it’s more about, “should I trust him?”
My answer would be no. I don’t care how much domestic violence courses and classes he has been through, time he has served, or how much he says he has changed… I wouldn’t give him the time of day. It’s naïve to think that he doesn’t have the tendency to do it again.
If you choose to date him, just keep your guard and boundaries up. Don’t hesitate to call police. Don’t ignore red flags. Don’t be scared to arm yourself. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Don’t let him hurt you. That’s all the advice I can give you.

AncientWisdom · Accepted Answer

Nope that’s something that don’t change. Both males and females who resort to violence for control usually do not change. Although I have to say these days women are crazy and they get their way. Many Men these days are weak , effeminate , douche bags in ancient times these types of men were not allowed to breed. A large part are raised by single moms who teach them to be subservient to women , the irony is women do not like men who are weak and won’t stand up for themselves. So our society has a lack of strong men raising their children. It’s a social nightmare out there.

nikoluushkaa · Accepted Answer

DV isn't limited to physical assault. Someone who is capable of beating their SO is capable of convincing them they:

a) will never do it again

b) they deserved it

c) it was a misunderstanding

That being the case if you are confident enough to defend yourself or keep yourself from being abused then sure. The world is built on second chances according to the Catholic Church.

Anonymous · Answer

Ha! You’re a certain kind of stupid if you believe anything he says knowing his past and to be honest, when you find yourself being the victim (and you will) that’s on you if you decide to get with him knowing exactly what type of person he is and what he is capable of. You should also note that these people are often very charming at firsr and know exactly what to say and do to make you like and trust them, but it’s all calculated manipulation. So, do with this information what you want, but don’t cry when he starts showing you his true colors. Just be sure to not bring kids into the situation. You that’s one thing - that’s your choice, but kids don’t have that choice so make sure to not have any with him.

Fayeleo · Answer

No - no and no. Telling you upfront can be understood as being open but can also mean that he is setting your expectations. I would not risk it. DV is a behavioral issue that sometimes needs professional help for years. It is not he said he changed means he changed. Don't risk it.

TinawAllison · Answer

I wouldn’t get mixed up with a guy that’s like that. I’ve been around people. if they claim they changed don’t believe it. Trust you gut instinct. If it sounds too good to be true then probably is. To this very day I don’t have a boyfriend. I’d rather take it slow & try to get to know someone before I’d go any further.

legalboxers · Answer

hell to the fuck no! And yes I will throw my own under the fucking bus. Worked law enforcement for 15 years and in my other profession for 21. "I changed" dont always work. Its a seed. DO NOT DO IT! Sorry to sound like a parent (your young enough to be my kid) And Im sure guys my age who have a daughter your age would end up in jail or whatever if some asshole touched my daughter like that!

HighValue · Answer

I wouldn't recommend it. Generally people don't change much. they may temporarily try to convince themselves that they changed, but most people resort back to being the same kind of person they have been in the past.

Red_Arrow · Answer

What is so bad about being a man who has a history of being a Disabled Veteran?

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Nope, he has a history of it. Do you trust your life to a person with that past and life of your kids?

hi_it_is_me123 · Answer

Omg no. I personally would not do it. Did he get therapy? Would you date a "former" rapist? This is how your question sounds to me. People like him have mental issues which is difficult to cure. And you are too young and stay away from him

Leedeeleee223 · Answer

It could be ruse, be careful. He says he changed so you feel safe, but in reality he still will do it.

spartan55 · Answer

Yeah, okay if you want to get beaten and eventually killed. Are you that desperate?

Wester1967 · Answer

Believe it or not, there are men who actually do not stick their johnson in every subway sandwich that comes along.

xHoneyxBeex · Answer

I would appreciate his honesty but I would not be willing to take the risk to actually date him.

globetrotter22 · Answer

History as in a isolated incident or multiple incidents?

Seangreen · Answer

Hey if you don't mind the risk of getting your ass beat go for it

zagor · Answer

I wouldn't date a man at all. And I wouldn't date a woman with that history either.

TexasRed95 · Answer

I mean I was abused from the age of 7 to 16 by my dad. I tell everyone I'm ok now. But am I?

cloud9vortex1234 · Answer

No, even if he has changed it still isn't worth finding out.

EaterPeter · Answer

Mostly not. It has to be one and only incident. Not proven guilty in the court of the law.

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

Trust me, they don’t change lmfao

DCooper · Answer

Is he over 6 foot? lol

dudeinohio · Answer

nope... abusers never change

exitseven · Answer

No, these guys never change.

Waldoe · Answer

DV? I have No idea what that is...

EnglishEuropean · Answer

Did you mean a history of VD?

slatyb · Answer

How did he change?

Anonymous · Answer

You get what you get.

candace32 · Answer

I would be careful

Anonymous · Answer

What the hell is dv

Guido · Answer

Not ever. Stay clear

LegendaryIcon · Answer

nope

Is it okay to date a man with a history of DV even though he is open about it and says he changed?

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