Should I forgive him for ghosting me if opportunity presents itself? Is this all my fault?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone. I met a guy on a dating app. He was very sweet. We talked online for 2 months. Talked on the phone during my breaks and face timed. I told my mom and friends about him. I have severe trust issues but I finally felt like I met a nice guy. We went on a few dates. I was nervous he wouldn't be attracted to me in person or maybe we wouldn't have a connection but everything was fine and I even came out and asked him. He was very shy lol. His heart raced when we held hands for the first time and hugged. I was also nervous. So he kissed me after our last date as usual but one thing led to another. I was nervous and thought it was too soon but eventually I gave in and decided to just trust him. He told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend, wanted to keep seeing me, he felt a connection and I'm who he wanted.

So we sleep together. I did feel weird about it. I like to be in love when I sleep with someone. We weren't quite there. I think he sensed it. I did make a few comments that he'd probably just disappear now and I feel like I messed up. He denied it over and over, and kissed me.

He did end up ghosting me. I kind of got into an argument with him once home. I just picked at him. But I did apologize and told him I felt insecure and regretful and really liked him and didn't want to mess things up. He told me he was interested in a relationship with me. I said goodnight. Boom never heard from him again. I've messaged him quite a lot wondering what was going on. Sent some snaps. So I officially blocked him yesterday. I'm very hurt but I feel like I should blame myself. But I also think he could have said something.

The sad part is that if he comes back, I'd more than likely forgive him. I really liked him. I keep blaming myself. I miss him. I have a strong feeling he'll be back. What should I do if he comes back? I know he had to have feelings for me. He does come from a bad family, he did tell me he's afraid ill end up hurting him. I'm afraid I messed it all up.

Updates

1 y

Am I in denial? What should I do.

Updates

1 y

I miss him more than anything. It's only been a week but I starting to give up.

[Aerissa_Jade]

No point in blocking him if he ghosted you. You can't forgive him if you blocked him. I don't usually block people, or delete contacts as I don't want random messages from random numbers wondering who someone is.

I move them to a different category though. I don't know if you actually messed up, but maybe he is worried he will hurt you.

Sounds like you started to fall for him though, best you can do now is unblock him and move on with your life.

Many guys in my life have acted like they cared, until they get some sex and then they vanish, it is possible that is all he wanted as well. They are damn good at pretending too. Hope that wasn't the case for you.

[Asker]

He literally asked me to be his girlfriend. I got scared a freaked out and doubted him. Do you think he was hurt by me saying I regret having sex with him? After that I said I felt used and he said he didn't want me to feel like that and he cares about me and wants me in his life. I said feel like I effed everything up by sleeping with him. He said he feels ashamed for sleeping with me too soon then I tried to apologize and said goodnight and I haven't heard from him since.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Its possible he took it as you regretted it and didn't want anything else to do with him, and he is respecting your wishes.

[Asker]

Yeah but I back tracked and messaged him apologizing and wanting to talk to him. He never answered. I don't know

[gamothen]

He probably won't come back, you have to accept it and move on. I know it can be hard sometimes because you keep picturing what would have happened if you didn't say that or this or you didn't do that thing. You will go crazy at some point if you don't move on, and think also about him, if he ghosted you he doesn't want to be with you. Would you like to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you?

[Asker]

I keep blaming myself. I keep thinking hell come back. It's hard.

[gamothen]

I have been there, trust me it gets easier over time and if you aknowledge that it is what it is and you can't change it. You two weren't just meant to be, you thought you were but he didn't.

[Asker]

I don't even know what thought after out fight. Before that he asked me to be his girlfriend. I'm very sad over this. Maybe I'm in denial. What if he does come back?

[gamothen]

How long has it been?

[Asker]

1 week today.

[gamothen]

Then there is still hope but little. You bombarded him with text etc. so it made you look needy and desperate, and that is often a big turn off for both men and women. You should have waited a few days and sent just one text or called once, if he didn't reply you could have given it a chance a few days later but me personally wouldn't and would just move on.

[Asker]

I know I made the wrong decision by sending the texts but I just like being genuine and honest. ... besides he's done that to me and I didn't judge or think anything of it. I just thought to myself that since he's texting and calling he doesn't wanna lose me. I guess if people knew the entire dynamic they'd probably understand my perspective more and why I think he'll come back. He really really went out of his way to date me. I gave him multiple chances to just hook up. I blame myself. I feel like I made him feel bad. I miss him so much.

[Asker]

So you think there's no chance he'll come back? It's only been a week. He's done this before and came crawling back saying he couldn't stop thinking about me and he freaked out.

[gamothen]

I had a girl approach me and give me her number herself. Just said she was interested and if I wanted her number. Then she ghosted me like he did to you, something just switched in his mind and you have to respect it. Don't text him anymore because I think it won't make any good.

[Asker]

He wasn't just a random guy that asked for my number though

[Asker]

I'm not texting anymore. But if he does come back, should I give him another chance?

[gamothen]

It is only up to you, I would't hope though.

[Asker]

He literally asked me to be his girlfriend. I got scared a freaked out and doubted him. Do you think he was hurt by me saying I regret having sex with him? After that I said I felt used and he said he didn't want me to feel like that and he cares about me and wants me in his life. I said feel like I effed everything up by sleeping with him. He said he feels ashamed for sleeping with me too soon then I tried to apologize and said goodnight and I haven't heard from him since

[poof_22]

Um no