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Should I forgive him for ghosting me if opportunity presents itself? Is this all my fault?

Anonymous
Hi everyone. I met a guy on a dating app. He was very sweet. We talked online for 2 months. Talked on the phone during my breaks and face timed. I told my mom and friends about him. I have severe trust issues but I finally felt like I met a nice guy. We went on a few dates. I was nervous he wouldn't be attracted to me in person or maybe we wouldn't have a connection but everything was fine and I even came out and asked him. He was very shy lol. His heart raced when we held hands for the first time and hugged. I was also nervous. So he kissed me after our last date as usual but one thing led to another. I was nervous and thought it was too soon but eventually I gave in and decided to just trust him. He told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend, wanted to keep seeing me, he felt a connection and I'm who he wanted.

So we sleep together. I did feel weird about it. I like to be in love when I sleep with someone. We weren't quite there. I think he sensed it. I did make a few comments that he'd probably just disappear now and I feel like I messed up. He denied it over and over, and kissed me.

He did end up ghosting me. I kind of got into an argument with him once home. I just picked at him. But I did apologize and told him I felt insecure and regretful and really liked him and didn't want to mess things up. He told me he was interested in a relationship with me. I said goodnight. Boom never heard from him again. I've messaged him quite a lot wondering what was going on. Sent some snaps. So I officially blocked him yesterday. I'm very hurt but I feel like I should blame myself. But I also think he could have said something.

The sad part is that if he comes back, I'd more than likely forgive him. I really liked him. I keep blaming myself. I miss him. I have a strong feeling he'll be back. What should I do if he comes back? I know he had to have feelings for me. He does come from a bad family, he did tell me he's afraid ill end up hurting him. I'm afraid I messed it all up.
Updates:
16 d
Am I in denial? What should I do.
16 d
I miss him more than anything. It's only been a week but I starting to give up.
Should I forgive him for ghosting me if opportunity presents itself? Is this all my fault?
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