Am I a bad person if I want to dump a guy because he's boring?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this guy for like a month. At first I liked his energy and that he was so into me, and he's hot. We started as "just fun, no relationship" but then soon after he asked to be a couple and I said yes. At that time I really thought this is a good thing, but now that I spend more time with him and getting to know him, I find that he is very lazy, unmotivated and smokes a lot of weed. And plays video games all the time. Sometimes he would ignore my text for days (it's when he is stoned). Last night he came over (I was excited to see him after holidays with family), I wanted us to go out but he was so tired (from smoking and playing all day). He was like a zombie, he couldn't even get it up (he said he was jerking off all day). And this is not the first time, we talked about it already and he always says he's sorry about everything and that he will get his shit together. And then some days he is wonderful. But we don't do anything together except netflix and chill. When we do it's always on my command and he seems like a made him go. He is 3 years younger then me and also struggling with his job, he always complains how broke he is and how he wants to start his own business but never does anything about it. On the other hand, I am a business women with an excellent career, I can't stop wanting to be with a man who is the same (hardworking, responsible, reliable). I am so conflicted because I do have feelings for him, it's been such a long time since someone was so much into me and doesn't let go (been ghosted so many times before), he is very affectionate and I care about him, I don't want to hurt him. I'm scared to end it because I'm afraid I'll regret it when guys start treating me like shit again. I know I sound selfish, but any advice is welcomed. <3

[Citizenkirk]

If you are humane about it, than no. You are not a bad person. Just don't give them the "It's not you, it's me." Line, because they are aware that it is them, and your candor is a bitter medicine they can respect, but lying about finding yourself is a kick between the legs.

[slatyb]

No, that’s a perfectly good reason to end the relationship. Leaving a relationship is not like firing someone from a job. Don’t waste his time or yours. Just tell him “Sorry, I don’t think it’s going to work. We don’t have enough in common. Best wishes.”

[icelolly]

Girl.. life is too short to be living in a relationship that sucks. You deserve better. There are tons of great guys out there in this wide wide world.

Our time in this planet is limited and it should be spent with people who make it worthwhile. 🌻

[Stevepro68]

He needs some growing up. Enabling doesn't help. If you wait it out low chance he will change. Zero chance you change him and he stays with you. If you make him feel. Bad about himself you will end up split anyways. He may someday wish he was different when you knew each other but it's not happening together. Sorry

[VikingWarLord]

He most likely knows he can get hotter b-tches than you so he doesn't put in effort. You sound somewhat insecure yourself, I'm assuming you look average 6 out of 10? Plus you're in your 30s, it's gonna be hard for you to find what you could back in your late teens and 20s. I could say more, but it might destroy you.

[Kevano]

I’d say dump him, he obviously cherishes his weed over you and anyone who chooses drugs over someone isn’t worth the hassle. He clearly doesn’t have any respect for you especially if he is ignoring your texts at times.
Hope you find what you are looking for!

[Truthatanycost]

You are over thinking it. You've discovered you're incompatible but you have a scarcity mindset so are afraid to leave him.

[Yourfriend2021]

After each failed relationship, times goes by and then you have to try and find someone else. If you really care about him try to work things out before you dump him.

[AbruvAvgMatt]

You can dump anyone for any reason, it's not inherently evil to look after your own well-being. Probably worth letting him know he is not who you thought he was, hoping he changes for the better?

[PeterSmith1983]

Not at all you need to be happy in your relationship. He is boring in general or in bed?

[Asker]

To be honest, both.

[PeterSmith1983]

Was the sex good in the beginning or from the start?

[LightOfTruth]

No your getting old. Might not want to if he is good lol

[Anonymous]

No. You're actually doing him a favor. Better he find out what type of a person you are now then after he's invested in you.

[noohair]

It sounds like he is a albatross around your neck. Execute your escape plan.

[In_Trance]

You're a bad person for thinking it and not doing it

[whosnumber1]

nuke him! you need a guy who's a Do-er. I've always said, a motivated partner is key.

[Tomtom9494]

Why would you date someone that doesn’t thrill you?

[Anonymous]

I thought smoking weed was cool. wtf. maybe give him a chance to change?

[MCheetah]

He's not the only one who's boring.

[DonkeyDan]

Nope, he sounds like a total loser, drop his ass!

[hhhffg7889]

Nope. That's a legit reason

[Gangactivities911]

I don’t think that’s wrong

[Bklynbadboy12]

Nope dump him he sounds like a loser

[Yuuibtony]

No I will do the same

[fireforeffect]

No, it does not make you a bad person.

[LegendaryIcon]

very