Guys, if a woman is being cold to see how interested you really are, what would you do?

[certifiedalphafemale]

This is actually the most common game a woman tries to pull to a guy she’s interested at (I’m not one of them). But what exactly will be your plan if a woman acts aloof around you and/or even flirts with other guys in front of you? Would you fight for her attention?

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Depends if I'm actually invested enough emotionally to bother addressing it at all. If she's just some random I happen to be talking to, but nothing's really at stake so to speak, then I might just be like "ok, you do your thing, but I'm out, bye bye", and wash my hands of the whole situation.

But if I actually feel more invested in her, and I know she's just making a mistake in how she tries to elicit more investment, then I'd call out the behavior in a matter of fact way, and let her know that although I like HER as a person, I DON'T like the strategy she's employing to try and twist my thumbscrews. And if she wants things to progress any further together then she needs to drop the precocious brat act and just play nice. I did a version of this conversation a couple times before, and in one case she totally flipped, was apologetic, respected me more, and we ended up dating for 2+ years. In the other case, she got weird about it, doubled down (perhaps thinking I was bluffing?), and so I just faded out on her. Then a few weeks later she starts messaging me wandering why I've faded and trying to play sweet, but I saw through it and just politely said some version of "pass" lol

[Anonymous]

I don't waste my time or energy pursuing women who make it clear they are not interested. I wouldn't know whether they are playing games or not. But some guys continue to pursue a woman even though she shows she's not interested. I'm just not one of them.

But I do have a question for you women. Why do you play this game but also complain when men continue to persist in their advances after you seemingly make it clear you're not interested? Do you not see the problem you create for yourself, and the blatant hypocrisy you display to men?

[OlderAndWiser]

If a girl plays games with me, I'll let her go find boys to play with because this man wants a woman who doesn't play games.

[MrCommodore]

This has happened a few times with me, where a girl is hot/flirting and full on with attention, then she turns cold for no reason for a few days.

In those circumstances I just don't let it bother me, I just act normal and don't chase after her and don't ask what's wrong.

If she flirts with other guys in front of me, that's a red flag, so I no longer consider her as girlfriend material after that, but will still be friendly and cool with her.

[loveslongnails]

I will only pursue for a limited amount of time if a woman is cold or rude. If she's going to play that game before we even know each other, I can only imagine the games she'll play once we do. By not fighting for her attention, like all the other guys will do, she'll be more attracted to me and wonder why I'm not in the mix. Then she'll have to come after me and, here's a novel approach, be sweet and welcoming!

[certifiedalphafemale]

What if she be like "Oh he just proved to me that he's not worthy of ny attention. He doesn't care enough."?

[loveslongnails]

Then SHE just proved to ME that she's too much of a narcissist for me to want a relationship with her. It's one thing to have self esteem. However, the idea that "you have to prove yourself worthy of my attention, by PAYING attention to me first and letting me determine if you're deserving", is not a turn on or a trait I desire in a woman. Girls like that are almost always more interested in the chase than the capture - catch and release. Besides - think about it for a moment... why would I "fight" for the attention of a girl I barely even know? Because she's pretty? Because other guys want her? Doesn't work for me. I'm friendly and approachable, and I look for the same in a woman.

[LegendaryIcon]

This sounds lke a girl I've known for 10 years, approx.

Like, for example, she'll watch more stories, and she'll read my texts, but, she'll then leave me on read. She'll like my photos and she'll tell me where she works BUT if i try asking her when she works, she doesn't answer

She seems to only do 50% of the work. Why?

[certifiedalphafemale]

She might be shy to tell you what you're asking.

[LegendaryIcon]

what do you mean

[LegendaryIcon]

by the way, she doesn't ALWAYS leave me on read... it's just most of the time

[Vikkrram]

Nope i would take it as my rejection and would think that she is not interested in me... ya it will hurt me... but i would try my best to moove on.

[Vikkrram]

I think maam basically that's ur problem and i think you are too shy to show ur feelings coz either you don't know what Other guy think about you...

[Vikkrram]

And u also get afraid in front of him and ignore him... when u don't have courage to look at him... Am i right maam?

[ChiTown33]

Real simple. I move on. If she can't be bothered to show her real feelings she does not deserve me. Plain and simple.

[Lionman95]

No to be honest I mostly don't get when a woman is into me.
I honestly don't know when a woman is playing cold but actually interested in me I most times rather interpret as a sign that I just thought that she's into me but actually isn't.

[Jamie05rhs]

She would find out very quickly just how NOT interested I am in her.

"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes."

[Sevenpointfive]

being a cold bitch doesn't work too well on a guy. it does work being a cold asshole that gives her no attention.

but the game is stupid because you play it carefully or lose quickly

[TallAnon]

I will give one or two small attempts, still cold? Go fuck yourself; Next

[VanillaSalt]

Fuck that bitch I’m not fighting for you. If I gotta play games your not worth my god damn time manipulation isn’t cute it’s stupid childish games.

[Stevepro68]

No and guys that do are generally aggressive alpha gamers. The type of guys girls complaint the most about. You get what you pay for in this life.

[Phoenix98]

That's a waste of my time which is finite. And I’m not gonna play that game.

if you won’t show me you interested then don’t be surprised when I go and find someone who will.

[Jfranco12]

I will not waste my time on females that play these games

[FilmGuy93]

I would cut and run... I don't have time or patience for games like that

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Well, like many guys, I'd quit chasing her seing she obviously has no interest and lots of guys hate dumb games

[AndrésC64]

I'd assume that she's not a child and not playing game and therefore not interested, so I would leave.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to take it as disinterest and I'm done. Doesn't matter how much I like her. She has to show me some interest back.

[awkward_author]

I would let her go and find someone else. Someone who plays games like that is not worth my time.

[boobliker]

cold girls who test the water mostly need to be passed by and forgotten very quickly.

[Slim57]

I would show her how not interested I am at her doing that

[yogaguy91]

@certifiedalphafemale why do women feel it’s necessary to play games?

[certifiedalphafemale]

I'm not one of them. But I do know that some women are fond of playing mind games. Maybe that's because they wanna see how genuine you really are with your actions towards her.

[yogaguy91]

As a guy it’s confusing … I don’t ask out a lot of women and those are do are usually people whom I’ve known for awhile and am genuinely interested in

[yogaguy91]

If I saw a women I was interested in flirting with another guy … I would fight for her I would just assumed she’s interested in him and not in me

[Jamie05rhs]

@certifiedalphafemale What exactly does she want him to do? I mean, they're not in a relationship.

[Jamie05rhs]

@yogaguy91 exactly.

[certifiedalphafemale]

@Jamie05rhs I don't know, maybe as the guy, you gotta show her that you're persistent in wooing her. Maybe try to be geniune and composed to yourself when pursuing a woman, because we can see if a guy is desperate or insincere. We are super intuitive and we want to know exactly how you handle things, that's how women operate.

[Jamie05rhs]

@certifiedalphafemale I'm sorry, but "persistence" is illegal. (Don't blame me; I didn't make the rules.)

[Bklynbadboy12]

This happens all the time but I'd still make her money I'm nothing if not persistent!😂

[Anonymous]

After her being cold to me, I would just ignore her and never reach out again.

[Yourfriend2021]

I would leave, I don't like mind games.

[Neilbud]

Get the signals wrong and this can be a disaster.

[nawtee_me]

I would leave her to them...

[Citizenkirk]

Walk away

[anylolone]

Be cold back.

[dr_vincentG]

No. It's boring.