How does a "nice guy" fare in today's environment?

Question

I believe myself to be a nice guy I'm 21 years old, my last 3 relationships I've been cheated on and don't know what to do.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Well I would say you need to do some real self reflection... seriously dissect your past relationships.

Ask yourself what was it that attracted you to these women. What were you truly expecting from those relationships, and were those expectation reasonable? From that point, if your honest in your approach as yourself if she ever truly wanted the same things, and even if she did say she did were there other indicators? Where there things you could of done better or not at all that might of yielded a better results

If you can address these questions and be as objective as possible about it... then you might start determine what you really want and what you really should be looking for in a girlfriend or relationship. Then start making better choices about the type of people you should get involved with and the the type you should avoid...

Now with all that said it very important that you be honest with yourself and do not compromise just for the sake of compromise. You should set boundaries and standards for yourself... and honestly at 21 years old you are relatively unexperienced in the adult dating world. the only way to get better at dating is to take a hard look at the process and keep practicing... every failed relationship is a learning experience that will bring you one step close to the meeting the right person. But at no point should think that their failures are your responsibility or accept any share of the blame for their failures in the relationship.

Most people do not even start to figure out the whole dating game until well into their 20's and even then they usually experience several failed long term relationships into their 30's and 40's. With that said most 21 years old's either get lucky out of the shoot, or struggle but few really know the what the heck is going on. But as long as you are capable of doing honest self reflection and make the right changes your chances of success will increase drastically.

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

If you're referring to genuinely good men and not male feminists? They don't.

Look around at this society of OnlyFans, feminists sh*tstains, and simp culture, and ask me again if being 'nice' will get you anywhere in today's society. Maybe if you're Keanu Reeves. But you're not The One.

I used to be nice. Not a "Nice Guy." But nice. That got me f*ck-all in life. Don't be a nice guy. Be a strong guy. If you're strong in mind, then you'll be nice to the people who deserve it and not be a pushover to those who don't deserve it.

hi_it_is_me123 · Accepted Answer

Incels on gag be like: women dont deserve gentlemen/nice guys (i look up the definition of gentleman, it is just another word for nice guys) but also whine when girls date badboys (-why do even care who these immature girls date instead of caring about nice girls around you). At the same time these pathetic loosers call nice men or women's partners for not hating women aka respecting their women simps. Wtf do you want? Do you really want women to date nice guys but also shame on them by saying that they dont deserve gentlemen/nice men? And if these women do what you want aka date bad men, you shame on them again? You also shame on other men for being nice towards women? These people need therapy. They are the definition of feminazis but genders reversed aka use feminazi tactics and hypocrisy but also hate on feminazis for doing the same although they are the one who copy these femin. without knowing it.
I will get dislikes for telling the truth. So be prepared since there will be trolls who will call you simp.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you're not nice, you're probably either cold or mean. Well, some women like cold "mysterious" men. Some women like mean "bad boy" men. Most women that I know like (nice) positive & interactive men.

If you're in a good mood around her she's more likely to be in a good mood around you. If you talk or interact with her she's more likely to talk/interact with you.
And that is a good environment for a relationship to start.
(If you want it to be a romantic relationship, you may want to say so.)

cth96190 · Answer

Nice guys go straight to the Friend Zone.
Women get the crotch tingles for sociopathic arseholes, the bad boys. Decent men need not apply.
Women will not be interested in you until they are past 30, after which age most of them will decide to 'settle' for man who can be a provider and father.
The question that men have to ask themselves is whether or not they are willing to be the ATM and plan B for bad boy cum dumpster who aged out and is looking for a white picket fence.
Half of those relationships fail. Eighty per cent of women initiate divorce after an average of eight years. The law gives them most of the property a a lifetime income via child support. If the women have been university indoctrinated, they will initiate 90 per cent of divorces.
After a man has received legal advice from a specialist lawyer and considered the statistics, he would have to be wilfully self destructive to the point of lacking mental competence to have anything to do with a woman.
Take is a blessing that women are rejecting you.
The women who betrayed you, they were behaving true to type.
There is no universe in which any form of interaction with females survives a cost/risk/benefit calculation.

ananias55 · Answer

I've always been a nice guy. And I've been cheated on, manipulated, robbed, used as a stepping stone, ext. My cousin who is trash is always surrounded by women who won't leave him. Girls don't want a nice guy, they want drama. If the guy doesn't give it, they create it.
The only time they really want a nice guy is when they're ready to settle down or they had enough of the jerks. By that point the nice guy isn't nice anymore. He's done and he becomes a jerk, but because he became one, now he's attractive. Or they end up like me. They don't date anymore. They tried it over and over and realized most of are toxic and impossible to please this they're done. And honestly, that's the healthier choice.

Diodoro · Answer

Develop more self-respect in assertiveness, not accepting bullshit from others as well as yourself. I'm not sure how best to say this.

But your girl deep down should feel/know that if she pulled some bullshit that she sees other girls pulling with a guy that you would kick her to the curb. That you're a strong enough man to maintain that boundary.

All girls who are with men they respect have this feeling. If they feel like whatever the bulshit they do is okay, they lose respect for you. And you don't have to be an asshole to get this message across. She should know just by how you are as a man

Novacane · Answer

It doesn't and I can say this because I was like that, except the getting cheated part (sorry to hear that by the way) but a nice guy does not survive in this environment, you will be better off alone, or you will have to change! You will deal with people claiming they want someone to like you and then choose the complete opposite. I mean it's possible to find the one if you keep trying but that stat is low so if you don't find the one now you will have a better chance when you are older as more women tend to settle around that time, or you can change and stop being the "good guy" and be more assertive. There is a reason why they say nice guys finish last!

AncientWisdom · Answer

There’s a fine line between a nice guy and a pushover.
Most so called nice guys are really just weak dudes who do what ever the female they want want them to do. When you are too nice a females detector goes off.
Women say they want a nice guy but you see those guys in their friend zone. See women use nice guys for validation , and money , gifts , food, etc.
Females want a strong man who is centered and who doesn’t stutter about what he wants , one who isn’t afraid to stand up to her for fear of losing her. They figure if you can’t stand up to her , then you won’t be able to stand up to anyone for her if she needs it. Women constantly do what’s called shit testing. The dumber ones don’t even realize they are doing it. This behavior in females is an evolved behavior. It won’t change. Women also have a built in bullshit detector , and they sense weakness quickly and accurately.

Adam1978 · Answer

They end up being the cleanup crew for the bad guys. Don't be too nice, you will basically sign up to be plan b. Not the main goal because you are to easy to manipulate and does not get the same respect as a guy who knows what he wants and try to get it. The hard part with that is to know if you really want that woman so you do end up ditching them. Ie being the bad guy, and they wonder why the dating game is what it is. Females shape the game together. And try to get horny teenage girls to do good picks for the future would be impossible today.

Realbanger87 · Answer

Tough one. You will find a woman some day, but prepare to be disrespected by women until then. here's the thing, I am nice , overlyfriendly but have fucked up temper, which has landed me in many brawls, arguments, confrontations, being shot at and doing time. I am trying to be a better person by lifting weights, doing yoga, forgiving faster, and smiling more to chill down my dark side. This "work in progress" is somewhat of an advantage as women pick up on this and seems attractive to them in some sort of way

Britt34 · Answer

Nice is good, just don't be a pushover. You have to be confident in yourself, and carry yourself with pride. Every girl says they want a ice guy. Just don't be so nice that your sacrifice yourself in order to please her. Know what you want, know how much your willing to give, know what you will and won't tolerate, and don't stray from your standards!

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

It's not about whether or not you're "nice" (whatever that actually means), it's about the values by which you live. Being a doormat is not a value, it's a vice. The "niceness" is a smokescreen for the underlying lack of conviction. Do you know who you really are? Have you dared to really find out? By all means you can and should be civil and considerate of others wherever it's not weakening yourself to do so. That's just "being a decent person" 101. But if you're getting cheated on for being "too nice", that's probably a code phrase for "being too much of a doormat and not embodying conviction in your own values".

Buntyp · Answer

Maybe try to find what those relationships had in common that led to the disappointing result.

Are you sure that it was cheating and not just that they weren't into a one-person situation at that time? It's not necessarily a given thing that people are automatically monogamous, and definitely not without some discussion about it.

Do be careful about setting yourself up to be taken advantage of, but don't make yourself feel bad over others inconsiderate behavior.

Shy80sgirl · Answer

I think it’s important for you to continue being the kind of man you aspire to be. For women to receive you well. Ladies need to understand that your motivations are genuine, and it would likely help if you didn’t make them feel like they had to depend on you for everything. Kindness from men often gets misinterpreted in that fashion. I’m sure that my advice doesn’t apply to all women, but it certainly might help in some situations :-).

Anonymous · Answer

Nice guys under the age of 30-35 don't generally fare well. The average female doesn't respect them. They are after the Chads. Girls are born with value. They have the power of their gender and all most have to do is whistle and have 10 men sniffing within minutes. NO, I am not MGTOW, this is not a rant. men on the other hand build value. I know many "nice guys" that were rejected time and time again until they hit their early 30s. Now they are dating 20 somethings and the females their age are single moms leading unhappy lives. Chad blew out their backs, let them pregnant, and ghosted them. So to answer that question I feel it's important to take their age into account.

Anonymous · Answer

Dude--there has literally never been a better time to be a manly man. You can still be a gentleman, but for GOD sakes do what you can to avoid being known as the nice guy. Be known as the strong guy. Be known as the guy who gets shit done. Be known as the leader. The smart guy. The guy who has his shit together. The guy who doesn't take shit from people. Be THAT guy.

It doesn't mean you have to be a dick or an ass. Hell, you can even still be nice. But make sure the first things people think about when the think of you are up above. In short--be a MANLY man.

If you do this, your dating action will be 100x better than it is today. It takes work but it's SOOOO worth it. ESPECIALLY in today's environment. You'll have VERY little competition.

MrKinktastic · Answer

Kind guys do well, nice guys who have no backbone and can’t enforce their own boundaries or just do whatever the woman says in order to make her happy leave women feeling vulnerable because the guy won’t stick up for her either. That’s the typical nice guy, more of a meek yes man than genuinely nice and they don’t do wel with women (and men don’t respect them either).

VikingWarLord · Answer

Don't be nice EVER, you'll learn real fuuckin quick.
No matter what these Heauxs say, they're gonna get with the pricks and azzholes just like me. I'm the type of dude that your GFs are cheating on you with.
Start working out too, when you're body is in shape, it's easy to snag any b-tch you want.

Anonymous · Answer

Nice guys get the used up pussy after a woman has been ran through by the men she is actually attracted towards. Usually she comes to nice guys when she is looking for a retirement plan (aka stability).

If your nice you are rewarded with:

1. psychological scars from exes

2. infrequent and low amount of sex with constant price tag attach to it.

3. 90% of her eggs gone with her fertility dwindling but her demand for you ever increasing.

4. Decrease looks with very little on her part to stay in shape or maintain her sexual value because your not the alpha she wants to fuck.

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like you are attracted to 'bad girls'. If you by nice mean that you are a pleaser and do what the girls ask of you, then you might find some who will misuse it.
Be true to yourself and what you want in a relationship. Don't just settle for what your partner want. Discuss and find compromises where both of you feel heard and pleased.

Kaamraj · Answer

What do you mean by a nice guy? Or do you mean that "nice guy" who believes that if you are nice and accommodative to women, you "deserve" sexual attention. Let me tell you something, you dont deserve anything from women, and on the flipside, you dont owe anything to them either. The faster young men learn this the better.

Somoneelse · Answer

honestly, there is a difference between being an nice guy in general and being a simp. Just be normal to everyone. Do not tolerate bullshit from others and dont let woman walk over you. When you are nice to people, they will be (in most times) nice too. But respect your own boundaries! Sorry to hear you got cheated on three times.

bean2k21 · Answer

It takes time and discipline to control your slave
You can't expect her to be perfect but you have to set rules
For me, the rule is, "If you have sex with someone else, think about me when you cum."
It's a simple rule, but if she breaks it, then she must endure a spanking on all fours
Until she agrees to think of me next time she cums.

cookiecrusher · Answer

Never be just nice.

Be yourself, don't take shit from anyone and treat other fairly, how they treat you.

With women, contrary to popular belief, they need you more that you need them. Don't use it to become an asshole but understand that it's them who are missing out and their time is very limited to play any games.

Don't waste any time with somebody who doesn't care about you and devote your time to those who are crazy about you.

dustybiker · Answer

We all get hits and misses. You are young. Everything is on your side. Be yourself. Be genuine. Keep searching.

91dalson · Answer

Bro you have to treat women like trash or let them know they are replaceable. just like you I’ve somewhat struggled with women in the who I initially attracted off my looks. Women want dominate/mysterious men and being genuinely nice all the time gets old very fast.

joshctlee · Answer

Every time I date someone and I’m super nice and chivalrous I always get friendzoned. However, when I go on dates with a “fuck it” mentality I order whiskey, tell funny stories and act like a goof I get the girl in bed on the first date. So screw the nice guy act. Woman want a guy who’s fun, exciting and has - backbone

Anonymous · Answer

To be a good man in today’s world is to literally be too good for today’s world lol The world is lost. The signs are everywhere and people still don’t get it.

slatyb · Answer

What makes you so nice? I’m nice, my friends are nice, most are in happy relationships. I can’t tellmyou what to do because I don’t know any of the particulars.

Slartybartfast · Answer

You can ether learn from your mistakes and go your own way.  Or you'll get used again.  Nice guys finish last, how old do you think that saying is?

Mbizzay · Answer

I met a girl on bumble, took her up to my hotel room to use the bathroom (after a super fun night), made out with her and then walked her to her car. The next day she told me she was too much for me to handle.. probably because I didn't get her into my bed. Honestly, don't focus on girls, focus on your hobbies and friends and the girl for you will naturally fall into your life.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

This dangerous world desperately needs much more nice, assertive guys.

Heartache0405 · Answer

Girls don't want nice guys, they want guys who won't make them feel guilty when she ruins their life, and destroy their heart

Angie221994 · Answer

In my experience, guys who really are nice don’t announce it.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Your first clue to the answer to this question should be to look at the responses you received from women on here. That should tell you right there that being a "nice" guy is not going to result in success w/ women.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm a really tough and strong guy but I'm always nice to people. Girls like to be treated a certain way and there's a bunch of crap on here about nice guys and stuff. Just be yourself but don't let people walk all over you. You can be nice and still be tough, people get out of my way, but women like me because I respect them and treat them with kindness.

genericname85 · Answer

same as always. you won't have success with women and you will struggle with success in life in general, untill you realize that nobody wants a "nice guy".

MickHardin · Answer

Don't put women on a pedestal. No woman is capable of living up to your expectations of her and for her that is creepy and restrictive. She can't relax and be herself with you.

Paul09 · Answer

Great question, being nice and respectful is horrible apparently. Or women just want bad boys that treat them like shit. I mean yes there is the part of being too nice and being a floor mat. I guess they do not like being respected?

De_La_BakedBeans · Answer

You've just gotta find the right one. I like to think of myself as a "nice guy". My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years...

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

All men claim they're nice guys when they're truly not.

Mediterraneansoul · Answer

If you're nice, you're nice for your mental welbeing. Being horrible is consuming and depressing, but you have to gage when to be nice and when to keep a distace so you wouldn't have to react to idiots

Better_off_here · Answer

it seems that you already are aware of how it goes for a nice guy.
but you should not have to change who you are for a woman or anyone to like you. everyone gets cheated on regardless of who they are at some point.

Cubus · Answer

You don't have other choice but to keep searching. Not all women cheat. You will eventually find the right one.

Juxtapose · Answer

The fact that you had to put that in quotation marks says it all I think. People do not think we are sincere.

Jintendo18 · Answer

If by “nice guy” you mean unassertive pushover, you wasn’t fare well in any environment, let alone the dating one.

Medhat-M · Answer

How did you get cheated on 3 times in a row? seriously

Deserter · Answer

It's not that girls don't want a nice guy. They don't want a sycophantic simp that's afraid to rock the boat and put her in her place once in awhile. She wants you to lead.

Chthou95 · Answer

Not that well. You have to have other things going for you like money, good physique and status. Being a nice guy doesn't do jack shit. Don't be a simp or mangina. Take the red pill

annabananna · Answer

Stay nice but gain better judgement and boundaries.

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

Like a bleeding seal in shark infested waters. He'll get torn apart and come out mutilated, traumatized, and bitter. Next question.

Kyle-Jackson78 · Answer

ditch women, date a man, Men are better lovers trust me on that,

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

I'd you don't mean a fake nice guy, we do pretty well. Girls usually like us.

Anonymous · Answer

Nice guys are compensating for being sexually unappealing. It could be an unmutable trait, or it could be their weight. Either way, it is a position of weakness and servitude. Be strong and be kind. Dont be "nice", unless you're a woman.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Women all claim to want nice guys, but they actually despise them.

Raaj4you · Answer

No matter how nice you are. People will find a fault in you. Nobody is perfect.

Anonymous · Answer

I'd love a nice guy as long as he wasn't too "nice" in bed

Anonymous · Answer

They don't Just refuse to date and they will eventually back off

Anonymous · Answer

Guys gotta start giving women references from previous women he’s been with.

Anonymous · Answer

my advice stick with Christ forget women  most won't make it anyway

lightbulb27 · Answer

define nice guy define cheated on

JosyJosy · Answer

nice guy or "nice guy"?

Mangospacho · Answer

Honestly, just keep looking.

How does a "nice guy" fare in today's environment?

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