Have you ever been judged for your dating preferences?

[Cherry234]

[NorthAfrican]

No because I only like and date quality men.
My friends think the men I like are autistic because I prefer the nerdy artistically inclined intellectual academic type of dude who likes reading a lot , going to museums, stargazing and have philosophical discussions over

Physically speaking I go for decent looking young men (around my age).

They're law abiding citizens and religious and calm and respectful so there is no reason anyone would judge me for my taste. My taste in men is a reflection of who I am anyways.

[shaysh87]

Nobody would judge you unless you're a weirdo.

people will judge you if:

1. you're attracted to fat people.
2. you're attracted to hair loss, wrinkles, and sagginess, erectile dysfunction.
3. if you like the smell of stinky feet.
4. if you're sexually attracted to children.
5. if you are perverted enough to look under women's skirts in public or trick women into bed with you.

if you're not in any of these categories, its pretty much guaranteed that nobody will judge you for your preferences.

[MinxDoll]

@shaysh87 I agree with ur points except 1&2 people aren’t weird if they like bigger and older people, it’s just a preference.

[shaysh87]

@MinxDoll

humans evolutionarily have not evolved to like fat or old people. just the same way humans have no evolved to be sexually attracted to children. Because fat people are less likely to produce healthy offspring. Older people are also less likely to produce healthy offspring. Humans have evolved to not be sexually attracted to children because children cannot reproduce.

Some people who like the smell of stinky feet ( sexually attracted to feet) may think that their attraction is just THEIR own preference. While it is simply not your preference , it does not mean its not someone else's.

Just the same as pedophiles, just because YOU aren't sexually attracted to children , it does not mean its not the preference for someone else.

Everyone has THEIR own preferences. But generally speaking, these are unusual or abnormal preferences.

[MinxDoll]

@shaysh87 actually liking older people or bigger people isn’t abnormal, it’s quite normalized in today’s society with young women being w old men for variety reasons etc, and foot fetish’s are more common than u think due to the part of the brain called the somatosensory cortex.

[sensible27]

Agreed with @minxdoll I can sort of understand the old people thing if they are older than a certain age but fat unless it's super obese is seen as just muscle I think at least to some extent (from the evolutionary prespective) I doubt there were many fat people before a couple thousand years maybee

[shaysh87]

@sensible27

What is strange to you may not be strange to someone else.

I think it’s very unusual to be attracted to hair loss , weight gain , sagginess , wrinkles. Just as it is unusual to be attracted to fat people,
Just because you don’t think it’s unusual , it does not mean I don’t think it’s unusual

Just because you find being attracted to children unusual , it doesn’t mean someone else finds it unusual

It is your lack of objectivity and your unwillingness to accept certain attractions that is the problem

Everyone has different attractions, you can’t say that some are more normal than others

I certainly don’t think being attracted to old or fat people is normal.

[shaysh87]

@sensible27

Vast majority of people don’t find old people 40+ to be attractive. Why? From an evolutionary point of view , older people are less likely to reproduce healthy children that can survive. Fat obese people are also less likely to reproduce healthy descendants.

Why are most people not attracted to children? People who are attracted to children are unlikely to produce offspring because children can’t reproduce.

Why are most people attracted to younger people? Because younger people are more likely to produce healthy offspring.

This is why it’s UNCOMMON to find someone in their 40-50s to be more attractive than someone in their 20-30s.

Overwhelming majority of people aren’t attracted to fat folks

There is a scientific explanation for everything

[shaysh87]

@sensible27

Once upon a time , pedophiles were common, people who were attracted to older folks including senior citizens were common , people who were attracted to fat people were common

And due to evolution, these people are few in between And uncommon

[sensible27]

I was arguing from an evolutionary prespective. I doubt obesity at least in it's un extreme scenario is seen as unhealthy because the sample size didn't exist for people to be "sorted out" or it wasn't severe enough. If you look at history, venus is seen or was a the god of fertility (you can look at some of the ancient statues and figurines). In japan too not too long ago fatness (im not sure if that's a term) was seen as attractive I think because people were starved, and it was a sign of access to resources. Even from an evolutionary prespective storing at least some amount of fat was probably not bad and seen as a good thing, of course being healthy is better but if you consider fatness and it's attractiveness, that's an evolutionary behaviour and was probably seen as somewhat attractive.

[shaysh87]

@sensible27

Most people aren’t attracted to fat people. Having appropriate little amounts of fat on the body is not called fat. Fat is not 5-10 pounds overweight. Fat is when you’re at least 20 pounds overweight or if you’re not height - weight proportionate. We’re not attracted to these people due to survival of species.

[shaysh87]

@sensible27

Evolution goes back to the cavemen era, not ancient Roman statues. By the time ancient Romans came by, I’m sure people already have evolved to find youth more attractive than aging

[sensible27]

Again, I'm talking evolutionarily. Most people aren't or can be not attracted to a lot of things because of societal reasons.

I'm not sure if this is correct but you can check ideal body types throughout history

https://youtu.be/Xrp0zJZu0a4

[sensible27]

Evolution goes back to self replicating molecules era

I'm not sure if you realise but fat would have probably been thought of as more attractive as food became scarce, probably as older you go

[shaysh87]

@sensible27

Only malnourished people find fat people to be healthy when food doesn’t exist. but they certainly won’t find it to be attractive under normal typical conditions where food does exist.

Why aren’t fat people represented in our media? Why don’t you see fat people on billboards or commercials? Why do you constantly see people trying to lose weight?

Because fat is not healthy. Vast majority of people do not find fat attractive. We enjoying seeing people with the best reproductive value. Fat people don’t have the best reproductive value. Neither does older people

Do you really want people to start becoming malnourished in order start finding fat people attractive?

[sensible27]

The point was humans did evolve to find fat people somewhat attractive possibly. If you have evidence for otherwise it might be interesting to see : )

[shaysh87]

@sensible27

Honestly I don’t think people have evolved to find attractive. Slim waists are preferred by most. I don’t know where you think big bellies are attractive.

[shaysh87]

@sensible27

Honestly I don’t think people have evolved to find fat*** attractive

Where is your evidence that people find big bellies to be attractive?

[shaysh87]

@sensible27

There’s a big difference between “some “ people who find fat attractive versus “most “ people who do not find fat attractive

[sensible27]

I think there's research into attractiveness of various body fat percentages, and very low body fat percentages are considered less attractive (if I remember correctly) so obviously there is an element of that considered into attractiveness.

I think there's a very real chance I'm wrong but, evolutionarily it makes sense. If you simulate animals and put them in the same environment as ancient humans fat people just might have to edge. You get possibly better thermal insulation, more food reserves, you look "bigger", probably have higher muscle mass too if you're doing the same activities others are

[shaysh87]

@sensible27

A little bit of fat is attractive but if you’re moderately overweight, it’s not. Even skinny people have fat on their bodies but they wouldn’t be called “fat”. Fat is when you’re not height / weight proportional. For example if you’re 5’4” and you weigh 180-190 pounds. This is more than just a little bit of fat , they’re most likely carry too much fat. On the other hand If you’re 5’4” 150 pounds. This is far healthier even if this is 10 pounds overweight

[sensible27]

I get what you're trying to say but I don't get the reasoning behind it

[shaysh87]

@sensible27

Because fat people are less likely to produce healthy offspring. But on the other hand , being a few pounds overweight is not gonna have a big impact on your offspring. It’s way healthier to be just 10 pounds overweight than to be 40- 50 pounds over weight.

Fat people are at higher risk of high cholesterol , diabetes , cancer which all leads to shorter life spans

[shaysh87]

@sensible27

A little bit of fat is not gonna kill you. Neither would it have a huge impact on your offspring. But if you’re 35-50 lbs + overweight then yes it will take more of an impact

Even skinny people have fat. Don’t think that just because someone is skinny then they don’t have fat in their bodies.

[jennifer_bloom]

A guy sent me death threats for having high standards - cause I expected my guy to be biblically observant and he thought that expectation was unreasonable and offensive.

[Cherry234]

Oh wow. Some people are really crazy. I see you're a devoted Christian so I honestly think it's reasonable for you to want a guy to take your religion as seriously as you.

[GlassTop]

Good for you. We need more women like you who practice what they preach.

[ohshee]

Omg have I. When a girl wants to meet my mom I smile, they will say what was that for. I said I'm not going to tell you until we get there but if that's what you want to do that's what we'll do and then before we get to the door in the front right now like I said because my mom doesn't like any girls that I've ever been with and they freak out my mom called a girl I was with one time a red cherry hooker I laughed my ass off so hard I don't even know what that means but I laugh so hard I can ask my mom what does that mean she said you know what it means I really don't but I thought it was cute and funny oh no no no no no it wasn't that you to call her pot smoking red cherry hooker that's what she called her and I died laughing

[Chris9087]

Sometimes, because I do like Asian women, but it isn't that simple.
I'm also VERY ATTRACTED to Latinas, Mixed Race women of all kinds, certain black women and Indian women, I was married to a Native woman. I also have dated White women, so it's really weird when I just get harassed about dating Asians. I think some people may be jealous, I'm not sure of the motivation.

[Cherry234]

That or they could be racist people.

[Chris9087]

It's possible.
It does hurt my feelings because I'm generally very good to anybody I date.
I really loved the women I've been with, so it's annoying if a racist or jealous person tries to discredit my relationships as "Yellow fever" or something stupid. Like I said, I'm not only into Asian women, but I do like cute brown women of all kinds, and I can also love them as individuals while in a relationship.

[Cherry234]

It seems like some people are still living in the 1950's. They probably learn this behavior from their parents or peers. It should be no one's business about which race you choose to date.

[Chris9087]

I agree, everyone should be free to be happy.

[Anonymous]

Sort of. A guy I work with watches me talk to women on a dating website I use. And he feels the need to give his 2 cents about the women's physical attractiveness. One he referred to one as the "giraffe neck girl". The next time he called her the fat girl to which I said she's not fat. If it appears that way it's only because she's 5'4" she's got a short build. And he continues to berate her. So I go I think you're just jealous and he tells me "I could f*** her easily if I wanted to". He's kind of an a**hole.

[Medicalbug]

Yep. My sister groans every time I’ve shown up with a guy and he is shorter than I am (which is most of the time). Her first question when I date a guy is always “is he short” and my answer is always “for you yes”. I’m equally unimpressed by her 6 foot something giraffes (sorry giraffes, no offense lol).

[muscularbumblebee]

Yes we’ll kind of.. if I actually brought the type of guys I like or meet my family. Age being one factor, looks/ occupation another they would probably hate him. But the type of guys I usually introduce are not my type but usually always get approval

[TheBootyChest]

The fear is always there.

But I have never actually dated someone who fits my dating preferences. At least physically. I feel like I get date my (mental/emotional) preferences usually.

[TheBootyChest]

Have you been judged for your personal dating preferences?

[Cherry234]

I think I have been.

[TheBootyChest]

Why did they have a problem with your preferences?

[Cherry234]

I answered another question on here about whether you think your standards of physical attraction are high and I said I don't. One person downvoted me. Also when I spoke about height a couple of times on other posts (outside of GAG) I could sense people judging me.

[Cherry234]

I don't know why they judged me. Maybe they were upset or jealous or they think that my standards of physical attraction are unreasonable.

[Cherry234]

I also spoke about other standards I have (non-physical ones) on other questions on here and people still downvoted me. I think it's because I mentioned my views on abortion and how I want to date people that take covid seriously.

[TheBootyChest]

It sounds like they weren't happy because you were into something they didn't like, or you were into something they liked too and saw you as competition. (I'm assuming of course.)

Parts of my physical attraction can be considered the stereotypical woman and that ALL men like that type. Yet my reasons for liking it are not exactly the same as everyone else.

[Cherry234]

Oh ok. I don't know what goes on in people's minds since I'm not a mind reader but that's good insight.

[TheBootyChest]

I understand totally. I am not a mind reader. But I get curious that even though women say "you like what you like" that they don't actually mean that.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I love submissive and obedient men. Especially if he is a sub that lets me (gently) torture his balls. But most men are extremely scared if we even touch their balls (even submissives), so I struggle to find someone who lets me dominate the way I like.

[SmolSlav]

I'm pretty into stuff like that, I have encountered similar issues finding other people who are interested as well

[KarinMcDonald]

As Alpha as my man is, we have played a little game for the last year or so, where he is completely submissive to me. I will stretch the game out from a Thursday evening, to Sunday when he willingly submits to my oral demands, and he enjoys being denied. But on Sunday, he is a very happy camper. And we usually throw in a few other things between Thursday and Sunday. It works!

[KarinMcDonald]

I am not one to judge! My fear would be causing long term injury to my husband. I love him, and I'd feel just awful if he was hurt because of something that I had caused. Watching his balls turn bluish over the course of a few days is gratifying enough for me. And watching him struggle in his cage while I'm sitting on his face, dripping into his mouth sends me to the moon and back!

[Opinion Owner]

@KarinMcDonald I know how you feel, orgasm denial is one of my favorite kinks. I like to tease him a lot.

And don't worry, I would never cause any long term injury to him. When I talked about squeezing, I was talking about squeezing them very lightly.

[cth96190]

Freqently, throught my life.
During most of my adult life, I was of little to no interest to women of my own race, because I was not a sociopathic scumbag and/or a player.
For women of other races, It was like bees to the honey pot.
There is a small army of Indian, Middle Eastern, south-east Asian and African women who had major dummy spits when my response to their approach was ‘thankyou, but I do not do interracial’.

[bamesjond0069]

Yes. I believe women belong in the kitchen. No hymen no diamond. No matter a mans age, a legit serious relationship he ought always go for a girl 18 to 21 certainly no older than 24. Much older and he's just there to use her for sex or his own moral failings. Men if properly providing for a woman can have additional women its his right however women are to remain untouched by other men without exception. Probably about 20 other things people would freak out about.

I'm extremely traditional and conservative but not in the goody two shoes way. I was not raised this way but was exposed to pimping and some extreme lifestyle choices of various kinds as i was growing up and saw what works and what doesn't and noticed a pattern and that pattern had led me to these principled beliefs.

[Chattyguy44]

I ws judged ears ago when online dating was still a new thing, I was given grief by my guy mates, now I think online dating is a better & safer way to screen out and find the right person for yourself.
I tried the old fashion ways of picking up a lady in a bar but that never ever worked for me, so online dating was my prefered way.

[Mary087]

Yes just because I don’t like older men or men with facial hair. I prefer younger guys that are baby faced and they get offended well it’s my type.

[Cherry234]

Just ignore them. Some people are always going to get upset and even make a big deal out of you not being attracted to them.

[KarinMcDonald]

I also prefer a very smooth face. Those little whiskers can cause a lot of burn on my thighs!

[LindsayLesling]

Well, I haven't been judged, but everyone knows I like Irish guys. I'm American. But I have a very strict type for some very strange reason. They have really symmetrical faces and they are typically very witty and funny.

[bookish_bengali]

Just once and since then I am careful about what I share with whom.

because people tend to do selective listening and I learned to follow the advice that I don’t need to share an opinion to everything.

[Yurrasis]

Yeah. I was told I was too sheltered because I wanted to take things slow. I didn't want to hold hands or hug with them the first time we hung out. They disrespected my preference.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I've been judged cause I like dating younger women, why do people worry yes they are of legal age but people seem to judge and I can understand when a younger woman prefers to date someone her own age, and I don't judge her and respect her.

[Slartybartfast]

As a man telling someone you gave up trying years ago and don't date you are instantly judged.

It seems men aren't allowed the freedom to walk away from a bad deal.

[Msputiton]

I don't put my dating preferences out, so people can't judge me.

Tbh only 4 people ever even knew i have ever dated someone before.

2 of them are my parents.

[kitty71]

Not really judged but the last guy I liked but really did not dated dated, I was told he was not worth it cause he had an odd personality, and since the guy did not want anything formal with me, he was not worth it.

[zagor]

Yep. Going for women too much younger. And liking Asian women.

[Cherry234]

When you say "too much younger" do you mean women who are 18 or in their early 20's?

[zagor]

19-22 although I gave that up a couple years ago.

[Cherry234]

Oh ok.

[zagor]

I also had chatted up a 15 year old who looked much older and got shit for that.

[Cherry234]

Oh... well you didn't know she was underage.

[dustybiker]

Yes. I grew up with all boys as friends. Akin to having lots of brothers. They were an incredibly difficult filter. lol

[Anonymous]

Yes, a guy said i liked nazi cause I'm into tall blonde guy.

[Cherry234]

Wow that's ridiculous.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I guess he was butt hurt cause he was't blonde XD

[InYourHead]

Yea... if I go on a date with a much older guy or a black guy or others that aren't white guys my age... people get judgy

[rebecca7fjdifg]

Yeah. I have hooked up for years with the biggest POS you would ever know. People who have been abusive to me. People judge me for that-

[Sincerly_KittyCat]

Yeah, but guess what idgas. At the end of the day those people can't make man out of dirt.

[ZackBan]

I don't think there exists a universally accepted preference so no matter what someone will judge.

[Malgaran]

I dont think enough people know I exist to judge me on anything anymore.

[Sirenboobzilla]

Of of course. My boyfriend is 5'4 and I'm 5'11. The comments I'll get in public are annoying enough

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes. All. The. Time. Lol

But it's alright lol.

[NathanDavis]

not really...

and is not their business anyway if someone ever did

[KATaylor]

I don't think I really have any but like my parents won't let me date until i'm 16 and then they said they will have to see if it is someone I'm allowed to date.

[sirderpsalot123]

Yes. I get predator vibes from people who try to shame/guilt others into having sex with them. You're not for everyone and that's fine. I'm not for everyone and that's fine. Basic stuff.

[Alyssa_11]

Omg so much!!! A lot of the time somehow I attract guys that really belong in the trash category.

[Waldoe]

Why would I CARE? if someone is "Judging me" I could NOT care less about that persons opinion... F them

[genericname85]

yup :D but it's not like that matters, cause it's "my" dating preference, not theirs.

[Still-alive]

Thankfully no. But im very lenient on the physical dating preferences so it’s understandable.

[Kaneki05]

I judge myself on it lmao.

[Cherry234]

Why?

[Kaneki05]

My preference is often someone unhealthy for myself which is fun but destructive or just someone who's very LDR which is something I don't mind but not ideal of course.

[Cherry234]

Oh ok I see.

[bulletbob555]

Sure. They don't have to wake up next to them so they can save their judgement

[fred_durst]

not yet , i think it won't happen as long as i dont date girls much younger than me

[OddBeMe]

My Latinx wife keeps saying my stance on interbreeding is corrosive.

[Thatdude091699]

I was called a race traitor for being with my ex girlfriend who is Japanese.

[Tornado92]

Yes because I love younger woman I don't want Karen's my age.

[Shiningtempest]

@Cherry234 I haven't been judged for my dating preferences so far.

[TheAfrikan]

My Tase and preference is only mine none else. So I have not been judged yet @Cherry234

[dolemite89]

i get eye rolls from white girls when i tell them i prefer brown girls 😅

[Anonymous]

Yes. I like older guys and some people think that's weird

[Dchrls78104]

Does being ridiculed for being a virgin count?

[Cherry234]

Yes it does.

[Dchrls78104]

Good, because it has happened to me. It's not just me. Venus Williams has said that she's a virgin at age 41 and waiting for marriage (go Venus!!) and she also has been ridiculed for her virginity.

[Anonymous]

yeah I said I liked boobs and butt and people disliked the comments

[Anonymous]

Yes. I like younger guys so yeah I get shit for that.

[ChrisMaster69]

Yep shit loads of times lol

[DonkeyDan]

I don't believe so no.

[Avicenna]

Sure. But I couldn’t care less.

[loveslongnails]

Only by the women I didn't want to date. LOL

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yes but I have to be honest

[Bklynbadboy12]

Have you ever been judged like that

[Cherry234]

Yeah I think I have been.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Was it a good or bad experience

[Cherry234]

I haven't had anyone attack me or anything but I could sense some people were judging.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Bet they was women

[Cherry234]

I don't know they could have either been women or men or both.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Can I message you

[Cherry234]

About what?

[Bklynbadboy12]

About the topic we're discussing of course

[Cherry234]

I'd rather talk on here.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Cool no problem

[exitseven]

If I was I never knew about it.

[sensible27]

In what respects..

[Cherry234]

Can be anything physical or non-physical like values, beliefs, personality traits, etc.

[sensible27]

Maybe

[annabananna]

Yes because my husband is older.

[GlassTop]

I don’t tell me how I date or when I do.

[poneglyphs]

nope, I rarely tell people my preferences

[Cringe]

No, but even if I was I still wouldn't care