With dating, did having high standards ever work in your favor?

[Anonymous]

28F, I don’t think my standards are that unreasonable. I think I have a decent idea of how most people perceive me, with that being said I feel I should be able to attract the kind of guy I’d want. Cute looks, tall, smart, decent job, good sense of humor etc. The last time I saw someone was when I was 23 & it felt like settling which is why I refuse to ever see someone like that again. If you’re in a relationship now, did you hold those standards or have to compromise/settle because you couldn’t find what you really wanted?

Yes

No

[Anonymous]

Yes. I had high standards. But I was still a teen and my standards were that he had to be

•6ft Tall

•Athletic/Muscular

•Financially stable

• Own a home

• Well educated

• Handsome

• Successful

• Good sense of humour

• Kind

• Strong

• Wants kids

Now these are high standards and I probably would have been willing to compromise except I had plenty of intrest in me when I was single from all sorts of guys and was able to pick the maybe not the best but certainly the guy I like the most. I'm only 4f6, I'm skinny, pale white skin, blue eyes, red hair and kept myself in shape. I was still a virgin when I married, i knew how to cook, I attended church every week and was involved in charities and the community. I also did gymnastics and did diving at school though never good enough to compete really. Anyway I guess what I'm saying is that I could have such high standards and have my pick due to the high number of quality guys that were intrested in me, if not naturally I would have had to compromise for a more average guy which would have been OK too. Too be honest I'm just an average looking girl myself and maybe too short for my husband who's 6ft7 but he choose me and I've seen some of his exs who are amazons.

[LazerBean]

Yes it worked for me. It pretty much only works if you also meet the standards of your target type of person.

[Effably]

I have never really compromised what I like. And I have been known to shut down people for silly reasons like their eyes not sparkling the right way, so I know my standards are a problem.

The simple reality is that everyone you say no to is one less person you might end up with. If you say no to everyone you end up alone. If you want to be able to say no a lot you need to produce a lot of opportunities to make up for it.

So rather than compromising the key is to pursue what you want. To be involved with more people. Meet new people regularly. So on. While reasonable standards do pose a problem to some degree these problems can normally be overcome with relative ease by taking actions to expand your own dating pool to counteract it.

[OfMiceandMen]

I really didn't want to paint myself in a corner. I find having a list of standards does that.

I rely on my initial attraction and then do a bit of screening along the way, as I get to know them. Some people have setbacks in life, which if they are a good person and are working on those things, you can't blame them.

So my basic list is more traits, like are they a good person, do we get along really well, can I see myself having a great future with her, etc.

I don't care what kind of car she drives or whether she has a big fancy place, I tend to prefer women who are holding their own.

[RockyHammock]

It's up to you, find someone you can be happy with now, or play the game of life n hold out for Mr. Perfect.

You're not going to be young forever and you might not be your type's type. Hold out as long as you want, just don't blame the world if you don't win the game of life.

[FifiJones]

What else do you want than to get settled? What else do you hope for/expect exists in life?

[Fireguy17]

you know what you want, how you want to be treated and won't settle for anything less.

[Adogdog]

I'm single right now because I can't mind those qualities.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. But being unattractive worked much better.