Who has it harder when it comes to dating?

[_lost_soul_]

Men

Women

[MCheetah]

I can't respect the opinion that women SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY in "Simp Land" that we're living in nowadays, in any capacity, has it "harder." Women have endless choices of men to pick from and then complain because no man on Earth (or at least in their dating pool) can meet their impossibly high standards. Meanwhile, 80% of modern men nowadays are seen as undateable, often for things that cannot be changed, like height or race. Or things super-hard to change, like socioeconomic status.

It ALWAYS annoys me how women can live life so super-easily nowadays and then can't even let men complain about how much it sucks, because they have to try to take away hardship and complaints away from men, too! I'm like, damn! You have it easier! At least admit that and let men be able to say that it sometimes sucks being a guy! Sh*t!

Unless you won the genetic lottery, are willing to be a rich simp, or just willing to act the role of the stereotypical Chad and devote 15 hours a week in the gym every week, you are NOT having an easy time finding a partner as a man in today's climate.

[MCheetah]

And in response to another comment made on here, I'll also say most women don't live in daily fear of men, or even fear at all. Maybe those women might struggle, but a fear of men is not really related to dating so much as a personal phobia.

[Lucina_Rose]

You must only be referring to online dating lol. But even there, women may get plenty of unwanted attention. The in-person world is something else.

[21Cowboy21]

They have a lot of choices until their early 30s - then the roles start to reverse and even out. Past 30s both single genders will both still have it hard - but I feel like females would have it considerably harder at that point. But in teens and 20s - no question females have it a lot easier.

[HighlyVolatile]

I don't know. There's the general onus us guys we have to lead the charm and courtship. That's a huge burden, and there's no doubt many women underestimate the burden.

But there's also the practical fear that women have of dating a dangerous man. I remember this podcast from Joe Rogan where he made a point like you look at male prisons and you think if you can survive one of those without getting raped or assaulted or at least harassed, and how some women might feel that way every single day.

If a guy wants to make this easier though, then I figure the solution is to make women feel safe around you.

[HighlyVolatile]

Again there are a lot more well-defined ideas that we have it harder because we usually have to lead, take over shit, maybe even do more of the work in courtship. But try to picture yourself as a woman with some frail body, menstrual cycles, and you're trying to find your love interest among horny guys hitting on you left and right, with hands big and strong enough to crush her face like a grapefruit. And date them, and accept their kiss. and let them take off your clothes. That's a freaking nightmare to me. But I wouldn't go so far as to say women have it harder, because I think we all have our duties to be reasonably strong.

I find fault in both those people who say men have it easier and those who say women have it easier. Who the fuck knows? Everyone has it hard as I see it.

[shaysh87]

Men have it harder in dating.

Because men are typically more desperate than women. But its also harder for them because men typically have higher standards for physical beauty when it comes to dating.

If you just take a look at all these guys in their 20s-40s, complaining that they can't get dates, most of them aim for women younger than 40. So when you have a high number of male populations (20-40s) going for women only in their 20s-30s, this creates a lot of competition amongst men. And when a woman is under 40, she typically has plenty of options, she does not need to settle for an old guy in his 40s.

[Asad1ONE1]

Quite the opposite actually

[shaysh87]

@Asad1ONE1

no. this is the truth. If you ask most guys in their 40s, they usually aren't willin to date other women in their 40s. The only time they date women in their 40s is if they cannot get a woman under 40

[JSmuve]

"If you just take a look at all these guys in their 20s-40s, complaining that they can't get dates, most of them aim for women younger than 40"

Well ya. That would be the target group. 20 year olds date 20 year olds. 30 year olds date 30 year olds. Do you expect 20-40 yr guys to go for 60-80 yr old women?

[shaysh87]

@JSmuve

don't even talk about 40 something yr old men dating 60 -80 yr olds. They won't even date a 40 yr old.

Then they come on here to complain why they have it so hard in dating or how so many women reject them. Because younger women have plenty of options, they don't need to go for an ugly old man or single dads in their 40s. If you were to go for a woman around your own age , she'll be much more likely to accept you.

[JSmuve]

🤦🤦 I think you completely missed what I was saying. I'm not all that surprised though

[shaysh87]

@JSmuve

most older women aren't physically attracted to older guys either. but they have no choice but to date old men because younger men generally don't like older women.

[Slartybartfast]

Pretty much every guy I know , and I have a lot of friends. Ether was married or stopped dating at 30.

I don't know any men dating outside their age by more than a few years.

That said, if a man wants children dating a 40 year old is pointless.

[shaysh87]

@Slartybartfast

Because you’re a misogynist and your entire circle is filled with men who can’t get dates

Average age of marriage is 33 for men in 2020

[Slartybartfast]

Ad hominem,.

Attacking me personally when you don't have a good argument.

Treating women as incapable of debate or to delicate to argue with is misogynistic. Not holding back and arguing like I would do with a man is equality. If you don't like it , that's not my problem.

[shaysh87]

@Slartybartfast

Why wouldn’t you be a misogynist if you say most men give up on dating by 30?

You’re just saying women aren’t worth anyones time

[Slartybartfast]

No, I'm saying the DATING PROCESS has become misandrus and cruel towards men and that men wanting children have just as much right to choose younger women as younger women have to chose men with good careers.

Men have to compete with older , richer men in their 20's. Women having to compete with younger women later in life.

That's equality, isn't it?

[shaysh87]

@Slartybartfast

Of course it’s cruel to men. Because you’re a 46 yr old man trying to get women in their 20s. You refuse to date a woman in her 30s. Do you really think a 26 yr old is gonna go for a guy in his 40s?

You get rejected cus you have high standards. The guys who gets rejected are the same guys who want to date attractive girls , girls that are at least 10 years younger,

Maybe lower your standards and date someone as ugly as you then you won’t get cruelly rejected

[shaysh87]

@Slartybartfast

[Men have to compete with older , richer men in their 20's. Women having to compete with younger women later in life.

That's equality, isn't it?]

Women in their 20-30s tend to date men in their 20-30s. Your fantasy about how all 20 something yr old girls like to date 40 yr old men cus 40 yr old men have more money is not true at all,

Take a look at marriage statistics , women tend to date / marry guys less than 10 years older than them

[shaysh87]

@slartybartfast

I’m 26, I’m not attracted to guys in their 40s. I’m not gonna marry an old guy I don’t wanna have sex with just cus he makes six figures. I wanna marry someone I’m sexually attracted to and am In love with.

If you want me to marry an old guy. Six figure is not gonna be nearly enough. You’re gonna have to give me a million dollars a year

[Asad1ONE1]

I know you're upset but just admit your gender is more sexual/desperate for the opposite genders' validation. 99.9% of people with selfies, provocative pics (online and about) are all women desperate for male attention/validation. Admitting will not make men despise you. Lying will not help your case. Telling the truth however, will let us empathize with you. We like you too. You just think we're not as desperate as you are, as so you're not only afraid to admit, but afraid we don't feel the same.

[shaysh87]

@Asad1ONE1

Well I know your gender is super butt hurt over how cruelly young women reject men. Well if you’re going for girls out of your league then get ready to be rejected

I’m not attracted to old guys in their 40s by the way so if I reject you, don’t come on here and complain

[Asad1ONE1]

My point exactly. So you were indeed lying in your original post. What bothers you really? We can discuss. Remember: lying will NEVER help your case. It will however, do the opposite. It's not one of the Commandments for no reason.

[shaysh87]

@Asad1ONE1

Just because a bitter misogynistic woman hater like you said that I’m lying. It doesn’t mean I am.

You know what’s better for you? Turn gay. Stop dating women. Stop talking to women. Nobody Wants a piece of your misery

[Asad1ONE1]

Whether he's a misogynist or not is irrelevant here. It appears you (and many women) have convinced your self that men are generally attracted to younger women and women are generally attracted to older men. Both can be attracted to either.

[Asad1ONE1]

It seems as though you're not getting the attention and dates you want from men. So now you're flipping out on them. Are you trying? Are you initiative? Like many men have been for centuries?

[shaysh87]

@Asad1ONE1

Does degrading Ans hating on women make you feel better about getting rejected?

Why are you so bitter?

[Asad1ONE1]

Women get rejected probably a lot more. They don't even get approached these days. The only time they do get attention is when it's unwanted lol. Is that what you're upset at?

[GlassTop]

I can’t imagine why men wouldn’t date women at 40+yo. Kids, many partners, and probably a karen. That’s desperation. Women at 40 wouldn’t need to settle at that unless they were overweight and ugly.

[shaysh87]

@Asad1ONE1

Women love attention from guys they are attracted to. Not creeps or old men

[shaysh87]

@GlassTop

Believe it or not , there are lots of guys in their 40s who are unwilling to date women in their 40s. Some guys in their 50s only date women in their 20s. Then they complain about how it’s so hard to get a date.

Of course it’s hard. How many 20 yr olds would be willing to date a guy that old? Not many

[21Cowboy21]

@JSmuve but they dont though - most girls date older by several years from high school on. Very rarely does ot go equal age or younger age for womans preferences. They like males who are more dominate - which may take time to accumlate more resources or build mpre. muscles up. And age helps define male features like jaw lines and the such in your late 20.'s whilethe girl may still be 22 or 23 in her early 20s. Rarely does it go the other way.

[Asad1ONE1]

This clown 🤡 actually pretends to think "men are more desperate". Then proceeds to call me misogynistic. Sounds contradictory don't ya think 🤔?

And yes, women "want" attention from guys they're actually attracted to. Many are frustrated with unwanted attention. Same vice versa for men.

[TwinkleLily5]

Both. It’s about the same for both depending on how you look at it.
Woman can attract men easier but not necessarily is guaranteed to attract a quality man.
Men have to do the pursuing and ultimately makes the choice if he wants to commit to the woman or keep pursuing

[Asad1ONE1]

"Woman can attract men easier" 🤡

[TwinkleLily5]

Are u a female or just bi+ch made

[21Cowboy21]

Great question - The down of the poll is quite interesting - 95% of males believe males have it harder - 50% of girls say males have it harder and 50% of girls say males have it easier.

I personally believe we need to dig a little deeper into the question to answer this.

Define dating vs sex - for both - females are generally all trying to take turns with the top 40% - 13% of males, and the top 13% - 0% of males in terms of SMV attractiveness/popularity can almost just puck and chose their favorite options with very little difficulty most of the time.

So a linear increase in SMV market attractiveness to the other gender for females makes very little difference, but for males - the female attention explodes at the top ebd of the popularity scale.

So it really depends which kind of male you chose to go through life as - if you are hansom fit wealthy and have a good income / career set up - you will likely find it considerably easier than most females do.

And if you are in the bottom 85% of males or less - good luck and have fun waiting until females are done with the top 15%er males then chose to want to settle down later when they realize the 15%er males likely will only do so later with a top 15%er female or not at all (most people ultimately settle down with their equals long term from my own personal perspective).

[CuriousJC]

Women are very very very very very very very picky when it comes to the men she likes especially for relationships. Take me for an example, I am 300 lb of pure love, work a part-time job, and single. There's only selected women that actually like heavy set men like me. Even if a woman did become my girlfriend, who says it's going to last forever because she said so? Defeats the purpose if she leaves me for another man who is heavier and has a better pay in his job.

[Joker_]

Men ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎

[Joker_]

Me* ‎‎‎‎‎‎

[Anonymous]

I think both do in their own ways. Women who are beautiful pretty much have a choice of any man they want, which of course includes jerks so she may be fed up w men like that. It’s hard for her because most men see a gorgeous female we just want to bang her right away. So who is genuine really to liking her for her. On the other hand women who aren’t as good looking may not have as many choices, so that can be a challenge as well. Same w handsome me as opposed to not so handsome men. I think both have difficulties when it comes to dating.

[Crepe_tart]

I totally agree with this

[dragoblack]

Men have it harder by a landslide as dating culture tends to side with women. Women have a hige selection of guys to choose from that hit them up on constant basis (granted many are creeps who just want laid or they are just being creepy). Guys have to put up with being preyed on by manipulators, scammers, solicitors, greedy women who just want to use us for free stuff, ghosters, women who can have a conversation to save her life because she only gives vague replies or 1 word answers, "i have a boyfriend/girlfriend" women, and online bots on a daily basis.

Whether online or offline it's super challenging

[dragoblack]

*note: I'm only referring to dating, not getting laid. Getting laid is easy, but finding a genuine date/relationship without sex involved is severely difficult

[Heartache0405]

Who has it harder? 😂 is that even a question? I’m pretty sure it’s the ones who have it so bad they’re opting out of dating, relationships, and some even society altogether. I’m one of them and last time I checked, I’m male. So I’d have to say Men gave it harder. Not just harder, but worse

[alice55]

I would say men cause they have to make the first approach but then if done wrong they get called creepy.

[KlinkyCoder]

You aren't that type of girl who would do that would you?

[alice55]

@KlinkyCoder I'm not, my sister is but Im not, I don't mind awkward people since Im also awkward

[_lost_soul_]

@alice55 what would you consider a good approach that turned creepy? In all honesty... it seems as if the main factor that makes a man's approach creepy is if the woman doesn't find him attractive.

[alice55]

Not really, a lot of guys hit on me (and they're a lot of middle aged ugly guys that do it) but I don't feel like they're creepy just annoying.
Creepiness come mainly from awkwardness like staring too much and not being able to align two words without stuttering. And also breathing really hard / loudly.

[_lost_soul_]

@alice55 Now that maybe be true... still kinda rough to say though. Long staring and stuttering... sounds like nervousness. There's an unfair amount of pressure on men to approach women. Got guys feeling like they're Eminem in 8 Mile, "palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy." 😂😂 A lot of the times it is a one chance, one moment kinda deal to get the approach right. No one wants to be the subject of ridicual.

[Anonymous]

For girls- Dating is just like shopping you just go online or out and see and find what you like the best and you can have it as long as its available.

For guys- Dating is like job hunting you could send out hundreds of applications and you'll be lucky if you hear back from one. Also there is a lot of requirements you need to meet such as:

6ft or taller
make 90k or more
really good looking
have a jacked body
have a high social status ( has to be in demand and desired by other girls)
be an expert in bed

Now I'm not saying all girls care about this stuff. However a lot do and will refuse to date a guy who is just as good as them. The guy always has to be at least 5 time better then them.

[ARWINGx1]

At least from what I've read... and/or what I interpret, it feels as if anything related to having good looking bodies (attention, seduction, etc.) & sex can be either complicated and/or contradicting.

OR, acting as if they are experienced in dating, (even if they actually haven't yet.) and expect (maybe "expect" would be an understatement) men to be just as "educated", or they'd easily get upset

[VikingWarLord]

It's guys but it's ironically the GUYS fault!
All the damn simpin' by these betas, cucks and manginas has ruined western women. If these men would stop simpin' even towards obese and average females, this dating scene would be a whole hell of a lot better

[Ninania]

Women have it easy, we get to pick our dates and don't have to work much to keep a guy interested. The only risk is that any bloke can rape or murder us if we're not careful.

[Lucina_Rose]

It's about the same. Which world are you living on? What options or choices do women have when most men these days don't initiate anything? But for those that do, it is they that have the options lol.

[_lost_soul_]

From what I see, men hesitate due to pressure of first impressions and not being embarrassed or ridiculed for approaching a woman. Some women respond so negatively if the guy approaching them doesn't meet their "requirements" or isn't attractive enough. I'm sure you can find plenty of videos of women dogging men for approaching them.

[Lucina_Rose]

Yes either way, men and women both experience rejection.

[KlinkyCoder]

Men, I don't think there is much of a contest here. So is life in general, men as a gender don't get any empathy from the rest of society whatsoever. I really couldn't name a developed country where society openly has empathy for men.

[Asad1ONE1]

It's just the sad reality of the world. The sad reality of the system. Hopefully empathetic women exist.

[Asad1ONE1]

Or maybe who knows? Things have long started to shift as I've heard of many women complain about not being noticed (yet alone approached) by men, complain about never having a boyfriend, etc. Or maybe it's always been that way lol. I think the difference is in the narratives and other experiences. We tend to exaggerate the gender differences.

[KlinkyCoder]

@Asad1ONE1 My dream is to find a beautiful very blond woman who is personally empathetic to me. I know, very unlikely to actually happen. :-(

[Asad1ONE1]

Yes women and men aren't compatible in terms of different life experiences, narratives and double standards. And men do have it worse in this regard. But don't worry my friend. Just focus on the similarities and hopefully you do find a good, empathetic woman. I'm trying to find the same. Due to the deceitful/dishonest nature of women, I really believe in karma and it seems the tables have longed turned: women are looking for sex while men are looking for empathy.

[rooster44]

I'd add an extra layer and say any and all people who consume more than 4 hours of social media a day. If you sit and stare at other people smiling all day your eventually going to take a hit to your confidence.

[TommyMountainFigure]

As I have never been a woman, I can't really compare the experience.

[JSmuve]

Men, for sure. Some women have it hard but their difficulty is on par with the average guy. The rest have it easy.

[Classy_Sassy_Kathryn]

Women because we are more at risk if select the wrong partner (pregnancy, finances, safety, etc). Sure we have a ton of potential options for mates but not a lot of them will be suitable matches for us.

[KlinkyCoder]

That sort of makes sense, but you know men and women can only talk about their own gendered experiences.

[Classy_Sassy_Kathryn]

@KlinkyCoder for sure. And I welcome that too. It’s definitely hard to discuss because I can only say from one perspective LOL

[_lost_soul_]

@Classy_Sassy_Kathryn. I get where you're coming from, but pregnancies ultimately is on the woman... under normal circumstances. If a man doesn't want to strap up... then no glove no love. Financially men can get the short end also by trying to impress and pay for everything assuming he'll get something in return. Safety... that goes both ways. There's reports of guys being setup on dating apps only to be robbed, beaten, or killed as well.

[Twalli]

Finding dates, men
Finding a relationship, women

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Men.

[KlinkyCoder]

I can't name any society where it's the other way around.

[_lost_soul_]

@WhatTheHeckkkk. Care to elaborate why men have it harder?

[username998]

You're just being bias

[Naimgood]

I'll elaborate, if a fat ugly chick and a fat ugly dude go to a bar, who do you think has more of a chance meeting someone? Hopefully you have been to some bars and if you have this is a no brainer.

[Asad1ONE1]

@username998 Because she's never got attention from that cute guy she so desperately wants.

[Better_off_here]

men i think have to try harder to get a woman to go out with him.
men have to just put on a show pretty much to get a woman to date them and to have sex with them too. Women just have to smile and wear nice clothes and they get a man to want him.

[Dchrls78104]

Men. In my country dating or getting involved with the wrong girl can cost a man his freedom or his life.

[dolemite89]

depends, i’d say men for the most part women run the show when it comes to sex. after a girl hits around 30 tho her options really start to dwindle unless she’s gorgeous or something.

[Anonymous]

Both.

I've seen both women and men struggle in dating in todays society. BOTH.

[OddBeMe]

Seeing how violence victimizes women, it’s hard not to say them. If you’re asking who has to do the heavy lifting to ask out dates, that’d be guys.

[Anonymous]

Men have it way harder than women on average. Men have to stand out to get a single girl interested. So top men will have way more girls than average guys. But for women, there's always a guy for dating irrespective of her looks.

[Chthou95]

Men and this doesn't even need to be debated. Men have to work harder & put more effort into dating. Women have it easy

[Anonymous]

One side gets to light match from the left, and the other from the right. In the end both burn...

[pibe10]

Men, we have to make the first moove and then we hav to "fight" with other men for her attention and after that we mostly have to afront the regection

[bamesjond0069]

Men and that's why men have the best rewards ie Hugh Hefner style.

[bin-patriarchy]

Men think with their egos. Betas with less confidence wait for the women to choose them while alphas end up abusing & harassing women.

[Anonymous]

Well men end up as virgins far later than normal than women do it seems, keyword seems, or never had a relationship before

[framer78]

the people who can't tell the truth wether they be male or female matters not

[Interstate]

That's what she said.

[DaveJord]

Neither it is equally as hard.

[lrina]

men, definitely

[_lost_soul_]

I'm interested in hearing your opinion on why.

[lrina]

women have a lot more options, generally speaking.

[FunkyMonkee]

I think we have a consensus!

[poneglyphs]

What about both because dating is hard

[pizzalovershouse]

Both it can be hard for depending on self esteem

[UdontNeedtoknow]

This should be obvious.

[JoyGirl]

Men.

[JohnK123]

I don't know even maybe

[gingerwolf08]

Both

[jimmy2]

You ladies play to many games

[Aurora1010]

I think men do

[Jouth]

men because the penis

[Smegskull]

People looking for long term relationships.

[Mediterraneansoul]

The ones who don't put make up

[Anonymous]

The top 10 % of men are dating the top 50%

[slatyb]

It's equal.

[Nagahime]

@Cringe

[Cringe]

I have it the hardest

[AdithyaR]

Both

[magiusX26]

on the average men.

[Naimgood]

Men, obviously...

[msc545]

Men do, of course.

[clampfan101]

Seems 50/50.

[cookiecrusher]

Penis owners 😗

[TrillXHippy]

Men!

[Noami00]

id say men

[Anonymous]

men 100%