Do guys actually want girls to contribute some amount during dates?

[Anonymous]

Everytime I offered to pay for my food during dates, he declined it. After the date, I asked him how much should I transfer him, he said I don't need to...

[HighlyVolatile]

I'm old school but it might also relate to the way I date. I pick where we go. I lead. The girl follows my lead if she wishes. That makes me like the host and her like my guest. So I think it's only fair that I pay as a gracious host would. I prefer that.

I relate it to a boss taking his workers out to dinner. If the workers agree to follow his/her lead, that boss should pay for the dinner. Otherwise, the boss is a cheapskate and a very poor host.

If it's like two colleagues hanging out and mutually agreeing where to go out for dinner after work, then I think splitting the bill makes more sense. In that case, no one is leading and no one is following. No one has the role of a host and no one has the role of a guest. But I never dated like that in the early stages.

[HighlyVolatile]

My thoughts are also gender-neutral. I rarely see this happen but suppose a woman asks a man out on a date, and she leads. She says, "Let's go here and do all these things!" Then the man is like, "Okay," and he tags along and follows her lead in the passenger seat. And there's a clear leader/follower host/guest dynamic where she is the dominant leader/host and he is the follower/guest. Then I think the woman should pay everything in these cases.

[HighlyVolatile]

So I think it's mostly just about being a good leader and a good host. If there is a clear leader and a clear host, I think they should pay. The dating style I always favored is one where I'm the leader/host.

[bamesjond0069]

Its nice to offer once but seriously now stop. If he wants to pay let him pay.

If he makes more than you or if you are in school or stay home with family, my advice is to never ever date a man who won't pay for 100% of everything.

If you're some feminist career woman then you should regularly offer and be prepared to pay and if he wants you to pay or split something you should and not hold it against him.

Unfortunately i keep seeing these homemaker sort of women scraping up cash for rude boyfriends (which is sweet asf) but they should not be dating men who would take advantage of them. And then i see these feminist career women holding it against a man if he doesn't pay for everything. STOP DOING THE OPPOSITE THINGS THAT ARE CLEARLY AGAINST YOUR OWN INTERESTS!!! Had to get that off my chest.

[blurpblurp]

Once or twice let it be if he wants to pay. But the third and more... You gotta insist if him paying bothers you that much. You should be able to communicate this before even going.

[PrettyPriya]

He’s trying to impress. I never expect to be paid for. I agree with you that it should be split or shared.

[ChiTown33]

No. But it's always appreciated when it's offered. Every date I've been on the woman has always offered to pay. I've always declined her offer but it's always been appreciated that she didn't EXPECT it.

[Asker]

What do you mean by she didn't expect it?

[ChiTown33]

That she didn't expect a free ride so to speak that night. Meal, movie, concert tickets. Whatever we were doing.
Let me be clear I wouldn't judge a woman harshly if she didn't offer to pay either. I'm just saying it's nice to know that they don't think they just deserve a free ride when they offer. That's all

[nawtee_me]

My rule of thumb is whomever ask the other out should pay. I do allow for the other person to pay for themselves rather than offending them if they insist. So if you asked me out I would expect you to pay or at least offer to pay. If I ask you out then I will pay unless you insist on paying for yourself or both of us.

[Máiiréad]

He’s trying to be polite/a gentlemen. Of course, it is always possible that they internally wish to have split it but he chose to pay for it.

[UdontNeedtoknow]

I personally like it when a woman pays her fair share of the bill without me asking. I assume that if its a first date i would pay. However i dont want to pay for everything if we hit it off and go on more dates. Since it shows what kind of woman she is and where her prioraties are.