Did you always prefer dating someone much older or younger than yourself?

Question

I’ve always been set in my ways. I was hooked on same age and same grade for all of elementary and high school.  There was only one dude i made an exception for and he was only 1 year older 😂 I made considerations for two others but i just didn't like their age and was like nahh at the end of the day.  I remember turning down dudes for being 1-2 years younger. I’d be like, dang we have so much in common but i dont date younger guys. I had to go to college to even up my age limit to 0-3 year gap . Because in college almost everyone looks the same age so i’d be shocked to learn ppls ages. Only one dude became an exception to pass that limit. Other than that, my limit won't jump to 5-10 year gap until im 35+.  I know age doesn't matter for a lot of y'all but shit it matters to me. And no its not even about having things in common or maintaining good looks as you age. I just know what ages I do and dont want to date. Matter of fact, i just prefer not to know the persons age cause i’ll overthink it lol.

Кураж · Accepted Answer

Most of the girls I've dated were 3~4 years younger, which I find to be the sweetspot for the kind of women I'm attracted to.

At my current age, my only age requirement for a partner is that they have to be out of school and out of home.
As long as they are no longer reliant on their parents and can make their own choices in life, I'm good.

The upper limit is decided on a case by case basis.
I'm good with a 35 year old who focused on career and never got married.
But I wouldn't want to date a 32 year old who already had her big romance when she got married to her high school sweetheart for 8 years.

Evan64 · Accepted Answer

Older. I don't find women my age (20s) to be very attractive most of the time and there is not a snowball's chance in hell that I would EVER consider being with anyone under 21 even if I (sadly) tend to attract a lot of 18-20s. Five years older is pretty much perfect for me.

ohshee · Answer

I think I was in third grade and I was in love with mrs. Parks my teacher
I mean I would look at her and just go googoo eyed LOL

The cereal commercial Lucky Charms commercial just went through my head yellow moon pink heart blah blah blah blah blah blah just ran through my head as I said that
When I was 15 and a half almost 16 there was one of my cousins friends from college that came home we got introduced and she took my virginity but at the same time I hated it because I didn't get to see fireworks and there was a show called The Love Boat and Love American Style and those guys always talks about when they had sex they seen fireworks but it was really good I was upset because I didn't see this but it was the best learning experience ever because I'm the type of guy I want to be very good at everything I do so far a week and a half I got to think about it and I got to have sex with her three more times it wasn't until the last time that it was good it was only good because I made it all about her and we both see fireworks.
And then the week later I was babysitting for lady and when she got home the girl that she was with ask me if I wanted a ride home and I said yes please but she lived like two blocks away from me she was 47 and we had to stop by her house first well next thing I know we were fucking and everything that I had learned I used and I saw her for over a year until she told me that she was getting back with her husband that I didn't know that they were even together I thought that they were divorced that kind of broke my heart but then she introduced me to a lady that was 35 and we went out for about a year but we didn't really go out much better we get a lot of things together LOL
I always liked older women because they wanted to do things they didn't want to just sit around the house and not do anything now it my age right now the older women don't want to do anything and it's the younger girls that want to do stuff and the younger girls are so smart are creative they are bold in everything they do and say and I love that
Now insane All the Above there's not a certain age that I like
I look at it like this I will know the person when I talk to them when I see them when I meet you if they we are compatible or not and that's what if she likes everything I like and I like everything she likes then we have to explore that

magiusX26 · Answer

am 44 and preffer legal (18) to 30. yes if circumstances and situation comes along, something a bit over 30 mite happen. this is for an actual relationship. a ways back i used to play around a lot (cybering/sexting) online and was more open with age range for that. due to that (though most were still under 30) had plenty of women i could have been having face to face friends with benefits relationships with if only i had the resources to travel alottttttt. about the closest one lived one state south of me. funny side note to all that is the fact i was not working nor did i have a car at that time. as well i was living with my mother. had a medical issue going on preventing me from working anywhere so i helped my failing health mom. anyways, i had anywhere from 8 to 30 women i could have, at least occassionally, stayed the night or an indetermined number of nights with but all were scattered across the globe. keep in mind i was 31 to 34 at the time. their ages ranged from 18 to around mid 50s but i also wasnot looking for anything remotely serious. a few even proposed it being something slightly serious (if i could reach their location) and more permanent and i was considering the offers with most of them if i could travel. 2 off the top of my head were in UK by the way, 1 maybe mid 20s the other maybe 31.

at least 3 in UK
1 in Ireland
1 or more in india
1 in new zealand
1 in florida
1 in alaska
1 in hawaii
2 in california
1 or 2 in the carolinas
a few in texas
and more spread across other places

a lot more that only wanted it as online play.

but now that i settled that part down some and only want to eventually build into something serious, but start off casual (thank my EX fiancé for breaking me from only seeking serious relationships straight from the start) and my critetia changed some due, in large part to wanting to at least having the opportunity to being a father. i know enough about chances for a woman to concieve and carry to term safely based off age that it starts getting unsafe for her, the baby, or both (on average) at age 30. so with that info my primary age cap for a potential partner became 30. couple that with the basic biological hardwired in most of us (men) desire for younger women. and yes a degree is looks based for my age prefference too. probably other factors too but people need to really get to know me personally to find out.

Rab1901 · Answer

For me, it has changed. When I was younger, I always thought the same age was the best. As an adult, I have realized that there are perks to both younger and older women. In my early 20s, I had a very narrow age gap for dating. One or maybe two years younger or older. In my mid 20s, I preferred a little older. In my late 20s, I was open to dating mid 20s to mid 30s. Now that I'm in my early 30s, I have a strong preference for same age or younger but not too much younger, 24-30 because I generally get along with that age range better. I won't refuse if I find someone 23 or 37 if she is truly compatible with me but in my experience, I feel that too young is usually too unsure about life and if a woman hasn't found love by 30, I would have to wonder why. It's not at all because her looks are fading or 30 is too old, and I'm sure there are plenty of single women in their 30s who have great character, but for the kinda women most men are attracted to, they're usually taken before 30. At the same time, the world is changing, people are losing their social skills due to covid, losing opportunities due to covid, people are working more on their careers, and they are marrying later. At the end of the day, I think it's perfectly fine to have preferences but if someone doesn't like you solely because of your age, he/she is not worth your time.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I would date those who caught my attention until I met my now girlfriend. A lot of women my age I tried dating either didn't work out or we didn't have much in common in the long run. Oldest I dated was 31/32, I believe.

Four girls either my age or +/-1 year. 1 was a narcissist. One put in no effort at all. One just texted she wasn't feeling it after our second date. And the other just ghosted.

Younger women have been better results from my experience. One was 25 when I was 27. Great chemistry, similar sense of humor, respectful of views in terms of religion/politics, great relationship with her father despite and her brother after her parents divorced, similar goals and desires. Ultimately didn't work out since I was just finding my feet in the dating world after being a late bloomer. I messed it up by trying to do what I thought was right and by being fearful I would screw it up.

Then came the woman I am with now. Biggest age gap out of them all, and that was a little weird when we started dating, but that quickly went in the back of my mind. Just like the woman I mentioned in the last paragraph, feels right and peaceful.

Personally I was hesitant on dating anyone if there was a gap greater than three to four years, but this relationship I am in now has changed my perspective about that.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I'm willing to do up to a 10 year gap (older or younger) in order to have enough in common, but the odds of a 45 year old single, childless, atheist woman, who was born in the 70s, being into sci-fi, anime, fighting games, and dinosaurs, is pretty much zero (and thats not even counting attractiveness as a filter).

Right now my issue is the women I get along with superbly as friends are half my age, but I don't wan't someone that much younger than me. So the issue isn't age exclusively, it's that I can't relate to anyone born too much before me. And I can't relate to most people born at the same time as me.

If I had been born in the late 90s or early 2000s, I'd prefer someone my exact age, but I think all the women my age or older who I'd like, are already taken (or reached single mom status), so I may end up being forced to date younger just to get a geek/nerd/gamer/artist who's not religious and doesn't have kids.

Honestly not sure what to do about this, I wish more women my age were into the stuff I'm into, but even for just friends, I tended to hang around people younger than me by at least 5 years just to have shared interests, and the fact that I look and act like the average gen z more then the average millenial probably has an added impact in that.

Almost every time I talk to an older person, they are grumpy, jaded, miserable, hate all the things I enjoy doing, and complain constantly about everything, and I'm never going to be that way regardless of how old I get.

Sincerly_KittyCat · Answer

I've always been into older men. I once had a crush on someone my age in late middle school - early highschool but i was never into dating someone in my age group even if he had asked. My focus wasn't even dating at that time. Then there was a point in highschool where all the guys totally disgusted me.

So older men just has always been my thing and I never told any of my friends because I knew they would never understand. But my best friend at the time guessed right and said " I have a feeling you might have a thing for older men..." maybe she guess right because one time some guy caught my eye.

SkipPerk · Answer

I am 44 and I have always dated women under thirty, save for my ex-wife (we were married from age 22-32).

I tried to date a 38-year-old once, but she acted as if I were nothing. Older women are far more demanding and cruel. They do not appear to want a relationship. Younger women are direct and straight forward. I can usually tell if a younger woman wants to talk, and if she does not, she simply says so (no sadistic cruelty).

I have nothing against older women. The fact of the matter is that they are a waste of time. I want to get married. I do not want to waste my time with bitter, angry older women. Furthermore, I have no interest in any woman who initiated a divorce (I am fine with good women with garbage husbands who walked out).

God_of_Thunder · Answer

I generally prefer women at least a bit older than me, but it's not a requirement.

I have dated women up to 14 years older than myself, but only women 1-2 years younger. The relationships with older women have been the better, more fulfilling relationships. The times I've dated younger women never lasted very long. It just always seems to fall apart rather quickly.

As I've gotten older, my desire to date younger women has decreased, but then I've also been in a relationship for 10 years, too, so my desire to date anyone but my SO is non-existant, anyway. 🤷‍♂️

DarkCarousel · Answer

My preference is close to my age but I’ve dated 5+ years older and two years younger. I don’t seek out age as a main factor but I prefer someone whose in a similar stage of life (wants a family life not a party one). That can vary though because if I decide to change career paths, I may find myself back in college. Life is ever changing. I think compatibility is very important.

HighValue · Answer

I originally liked people around my own age, but as time went on I saw their morals and I came to dislike people around my age. (When I was in my 20s I disliked people in their 20s. In my 30s I disliked people inn their 30s. etc.)

I seemed to be more compatible with people at least 9 + years younger than myself. Of course I wouldn't want a woman past 30 to start a new relationship with, but even for just friendships I like them 9 + years younger because I don't like the ones around my age most of the time. For friendships with guys I get along with ones 5+ years older most of the time.

Anon833 · Answer

I really have no preference, but I have a wife who is 38 years older than me. I married her when I was 19 and she was 57, and we have been a couple for twelve years now ages 31 and 69 with an 11-year-old daughter. Age is only a number, as she is still the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.

Gorge95 · Answer

I used to like older men more than younger until I realized that there are really awesome guys out there regardless of age who take care of themselves, are wise, traveled and have an insane sense of humour. So as long as you’re attractive and you’re a great person to be around, age isn’t a thing.

Anonymous · Answer

I only dated a few women, all of them around the same age within a year or two. All of them I knew from highschool. After that I really didn't meet any women. As my friends joke going out is a big sausage fest around here. It's like online dating only in real life , you go into a club and it's 20 guys for every girl and the girl is a lesbian.
Being an outgoing and funny guy I once took the lesbian home (seriously we are still friends)

hhadeshatesme · Answer

I’ve always been attracted to older. My first “obsessive” crush started when I was in grade 2 and he was 3 years older. I still vividly remember. Tall, skinny, crackhead looking white boy with semi long black curly hair. He really was the blue print to my type😂. Very unlikely that I’ll ever go for a younger guy as men the same age as me aren’t even appealing. Doesn’t have to be a crazy age gap or anything but a few years older is ideal.

Medicalbug · Answer

Usually I date within 15 years older (so roughly 46 as an upper limit) and end up with people 24+ on the lower end. Hookups are less stringent, so legal and beyond is pretty much fair game, if the attraction is there.
But for dating purposes, a 20 year old is usually still too young and someone over 50 feels totally like another generation.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Really it’s just someone I emotionally connect with, which can end up with odd results.

I’ve dated both older and younger.

i also have this thing where you cannot tell a girls age if she’s dressed up, make up on etc, at least not reliably. It means you think she’s 25 and she’s 30, you think she’s 30 and she’s 25.

I know one 30yr old who looks 20.

Lliam · Answer

Every one of my girlfriends was at least a couple years younger than me. That wasn't one of my criteria for choosing partners, it just happened that way. The biggest age gap was 6 years when I was 37 and had a 31 year old girlfriend.
My wife is 2 1/2 years younger. Yep, I robbed the cradle. LOL

RealMarek · Answer

When I was young I preferred dating women the same age or older. As a middle-aged man who was divorced, I have not been attracted to women who are older than a few years younger than me. I prefer women 4 to 12 years younger, and women within that age range are the most apt to show interest in me.

De_La_BakedBeans · Answer

I can't say I have a preference. My girlfriend is a little over 3 years older than me (she's 25 currently), and I've only had one relationship other than the one I'm in now, and she was also older, but only by 6 months.
I guess I can say I'm subconsciously into slightly older girls, but not too much older.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

You know I used to have that mindset but weird thing. My ex husband cheated on me with a woman that's 10 years much younger then him. My ex husband and I did had a lot of differences I am 29 he is 30 we aurgue a lot. I wanted his Amway thing while. I had other plans in mind. But everyone is different.

SweetFyter · Answer

Well, I guess this changes when you get older (I sure HOPE it does), but most of the guys I know who're my age are just very immature and usually not very bright. So I'd have to say older for sure, at least for now.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm shy to admit this in rl or to anyone I know, but I've been attracted to older men since I was like 10. First I had a crush on older guys at school, then I started finding some teachers attractive, now in college I still find older guys attractive. I don't know why.

Cherry234 · Answer

It's okay if age matters to you. It matters to everyone. I'd date someone much older than me rather than younger, ofc. I can date someone younger than me but he has to be at least 18.

Angelo75 · Answer

I have had adventures mainly with older.
Dating older usually will let u see stars. :)
I can positively vouch and say that the older one in a relationship will know exactly how to push the buttons of the younger one to make the younger one float in heaven.

Anonymous · Answer

Before my current husband the youngest guy I was ever with was a year and a half younger than me. My husband is 16 years younger than me. Never in a million years did I ever dream I'd even consider dating a guy that much younger, let alone marry him (and have 2 kids with him).

Anonymous · Answer

I think it depends what your plans are right? If you plan to have kids then yes it makes sense to keep it to the same age. But if you're looking for a partner in life it's so hard to tie it down to anything. A woman to bear my kids would just be a womb, I want someone I can love and respect and be with forever, and I've dated anywhere from 19 to 38 at my own age

Jayplays900 · Answer

I have always wanted to date a girl who was older than me. I don't know why, but I just like the more mature, stoic, and relaxed type of girl who drives you crazy whenever she stares at you all seductively. The one that goes slow and likes it whenever you get driven crazy by her actions, but doesn't allow you to have your fun until she's done claiming you.

Fucking hell..! :0

Valso · Answer

Tried that once - I was 19, she was 33, pre-divorced with a kid. Long story short - she mistook me for her property, so I ended it quickly. Never again with such a difference. Much younger than me - maybe, if he/she is up to setting sex records. But much older than me - never again.

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

It varies from time to time. When I was in grade school never thought a out age. Once I graduated I dated guys my age range, then switch to older, now I'm back to preferring a guy my age.

With older men from my experience they have children. So they don't want anymore. Even though I don't like kids I still want the option🤣🤣

Anonymous · Answer

It’s always been older for me. I just can’t see myself being with a guy who’s younger than me It wouldn’t feel right, mentally. I always saw myself as being with an older man whether he’d be 3-4 years older than me or 10 years. i just like mature men, physically they’re more appealing but I know there’s women out there who like men that are younger than them but not me.

lordxi · Answer

age doesn't matter as long as there's compatibility in the way of thinking and life style.. I've been with both older and younger and I've dated people at the same age of mine. the conclusion says it all depends on the person. what they want and what life style they enjoy living. a girl can be 10 years older or younger than me and have no intention of settling down. or the inverse. it totally depends on the SO.

OpenClose · Answer

Honestly I'll probably be attracted to girls as young as 18 until I'm like 50. The only thing that has changed is the oldest age I find attractive. So age isn't much of a concern for me, beyond which girls would date me for MY age.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s always been older for me. I just can’t see myself being with a guy who’s younger than me It wouldn’t feel right, mentally. I always saw myself as being with an older man whether he’d be 3-4 years older than me or 10 years. i just like mature men, physically they’re more appealing but I know there’s women out there who like men that are younger than them but not me.

pixie215 · Answer

depends sometimes older guys can be as immature as younger guys sometimes, depends on what kind of things they been through, if they are jaded by it, or just keep going with just finding the lesson in it.

2Wheels · Answer

It's not at all a preference, but I have ended up dating guys 20 - 30 years older than me. I assumed they'd be much more mature than the guys my age. I was always wrong. 😅

Hulk30 · Answer

no because i go along the path of least resistance if i were 27 instead of 38 i'd wait until i was at least 30 to start havin kids to make sure i was ready and that way i could save and make what i needed to in order to be prepared for motherhood because parentin today is very expensive

lakotabebebe · Answer

I always wanted to date someone older. I never wanna be with a younger one one unless they're a gift from the Lord. Much older? I dont want to care for a grandpa, but I would not mind someone in their late 20s - mid 30, s

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

I did both. Whwn i was 23 i dated an 18 year old. Same year i dated a 29 year old and was so much more fun. But i ended up marrying someone that us 4 months younger than me 👌 it's perfect

TheAfrikan · Answer

@dizzydesii well for me I would prefer dating a lady who is 5 or 10 years younger than me. Because I wouod not want to be like some guys out there who date there grandmothers 😆😅 agewise.  Though am one of those guys who say that age foes not matter if she is older than me by 5 too. Hold on lol you said that who’s had a vasectomy you can settle with him Fuck outta here lol. Why am I chopping my tunes off 😂😂😃😃😃

Alyssa_11 · Answer

Much older for sure. I’m quite mature for my age and I feel like most guys really do mature much slower than women do.

AdithyaR · Answer

Tbh both older and younger feel weird to me. I'd prefer my age. The maximum I can go is one year above or below my current age

SkyCastle90 · Answer

I always wanted older, but not anymore. Ironically, I end up falling for a guy who is just a couple months older than me, so we're the same age for almost half a year lol.

BonnieBoo · Answer

Prefer older men due to maturity. Most of the guys my age or younger are extremely childish & have a lot of growing up to do. Definitely the older guy for me.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

Somehow I always end up with someone at least 10 years older than me. I'm more attracted to older men experienced men who know what they want with their life ready to settle down

MTC29 · Answer

I tend to aim four or five years younger. My SO is 54 and I'm 61. That's a seven-year age gap but when compared to (say) age 18 and 25 (also six years), it hardly seems any gap at all.

CherryK · Answer

Only celebrities. Like i was 15 ready for 39 yo bradley Cooper. And wanted him to wait for me. But he had to get married 🙄

Aqueeld · Answer

Actually for me age was never factor... But now as i think... I would b cool with someone around my age and lower... But she should not more than 5 years younger then me..

BlackTealLazer · Answer

No. I just prefer to date people who are older because I find most people the same age as me act rather immature.

Lucy68 · Answer

I dated guys older than me but always crushed on guys younger than me. My future husband (whenever he his) most likely will be one of the two

Apple1996 · Answer

My husband is a little bit younger than me and I prefer it that way

Levin · Answer

I prefer younger. I'm very active and athletic, and need someone in shape who can keep up.  Plus I need someone fiery who can light me up a bit, haha.

19magic · Answer

Practically every guy I've dated is 1-8 years older than me though there were a couple older but then those guys are closer in age to my parents and that's weird.

Guy13 · Answer

Old, Hardened, Pissed Off 😤 at 🌎 🌍 with a WTF ⛓attitude ⚙️ sounds lot more Fun than babysitting 👨‍🍼  👨‍🍼👨‍🍼👨‍🍼👨‍🍼👨‍🍼

NathanDavis · Answer

it doesn't really matter to me... but all my girlfriends happened to be my age or younger, but none younger than four years difference

CaptainLegal · Answer

In the past yeah because I didn't have much experience at dating etc so I preferred older girls plus I thought they were more mature mentally. Now though, I changed my mind, being mature doesn't come with age but with the personality of a person.

Agape93 · Answer

I don't have a preference there, never have. Long as you're over 18 I'm good.

ItsMeElliana · Answer

yeah I've always prefered dating older men but yeah there's a limit to how old

Avicenna · Answer

As a Teenager and young adult, around my age. Since I was 22, though, it’s been younger, and since my 30s, mostly much younger.

Guanfei · Answer

Technically, I don't care much about age. But usually it's younger. Even tho I've seen some fine older ladies. Even been surprised at one who said she was 51, but the babe looked 15 if not 20 years younger.

1988fido · Answer

how she looks is what matters about age, i have seen 40's looks sexier than 20's so i dont mind to date or marry older or younger than me.

Did you always prefer dating someone much older or younger than yourself?

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