Why do some guys easily get lots of dates whilst others really struggle? Do looks matter?

[Anonymous]

Yes looks so matter for guys - no matter how good a personality of a guy is if he doesn’t meet certain looks criteria, personality won’t even get considered

No it’s not looks - it’s personality - looks really don’t matter

[Stephen_77]

Looks are just a bonus. Any woman that tells you looks are the most important thing is lying. Look at how many beautiful women you see with average or below average looking men. Most women are attracted to a man's confidence and sense of humour. Just the other week I came across a young beautiful blonde woman, yet her boyfriend looked well below average. Look at how many women nighclub bouncers get. Most of them aren't good looking, yet they seem to attract so many women. Looks do help, but at the end of the day an average looking man with lots of confidence will get far more women than an above average looking man with very little confidence. The men who get the most women are the men that approach women and have the balls to flirt with them and ask them out, not the good lookign men who are afraid to approach.

[Asker]

I don’t think that’s true. Good looking guys easily get dates. I don’t know where you live or where you’ve been making your observations.

[Stephen_77]

Yes, only if they have confidence. The evidence is based on my own experience what I've seen with my own eyes for over 30 years. I see it all the time, beautiful women with average or below average looking men. It mostly comes down to confidence and your flirting skills. Looks are just a bonus.

[Asker]

I’ve seen shy good looking guys get girls.

[Stephen_77]

Oh really, how? Did the women approach these shy guys?

[Anonymous]

Don't let anyone fool you, looks are the most important for getting a single girl. A good-looking guy can choose from countless girls, even if he has a bad personality. Sure it may not last long but he will have countless supplies of new relations so he doesn't give a fuck.
I know great guys that cannot get a single girl even at the same level as him, cause he's a little shy and not very attractive. Whether guys who have very bad reputations of a countless failed relationships, forced sex, and possible violence pull out new girls every now and then.

[Flower7]

Looks are the most important thing for getting lots of dates. But there are some exceptions for guys who have a really good personality…specifically a good sense of humor. That can attract a lot of women also.

[Anonymous]

I'll answer this simply Chris Farley, one of funniest guys on the planet. Had personality for miles. But couldn't find a woman.
Women like to tell you personality is important and it is but they erroneous say it's the most important thing. And it's not true. They just don't want to appear shallow so they oversell it. When a woman says " I didn't like his petsonality" she means she wasn't attracted to him.

[Asker]

He dates Lorri Bagley for a bit.

[Opinion Owner]

For a "bit". Key word lol It was a career move that didn't pan out.

[Asker]

He was overweight and had an unhealthy lifestyle though. And it eventually cost him his life.

[Opinion Owner]

OK, this wasn't your question lol. Yeah he was overweight that's my point that is unattractive to a woman. And yes his drug used did cost him his life. His weight may have in the future. We'll never know.

[Asker]

But those are things which people can do something about.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes you're right you can exercise and maybe lose weight. You are a slave to you genetics though. Have you ever seen Chris's family? They're all husky people.

[Asker]

So the question is do women reject people purely based on genetic factors which you have no control over?

[Opinion Owner]

No. Think of it like this man. If you're physically attractive to a woman it will make up for lack of personality to a point. But if you're not physically attractive to a woman. No amount of personality will make up for it.
Understand?
Women are very emotional creatures which is why they can be hot for you one moment and ice cold the next. Yes you may have a great personality and she may be charmed initially but when those feelings subside then she's left with physical reality of what you are if you're unattractive. And it's not just you. Her friends will weigh in. How your friends treat you will be a factor etc. If you're unattractive the one thing you have going for you is not all women are attracted to the same physical features. So you do have a shot with the right woman. Just not most women.

[Asker]

So is a lot of it that women don’t want to say all this because they don’t want to be seen as shallow?

[Opinion Owner]

Say it? They don't even want to believe it themselves. Women are queens of self delusion. Why do you think women stay with abusive guys for as long as they do?
I mean this is a good thing overall. Because it's also what makes women as loyal as they are when in a committed relationship.

[Asker]

So then how can an average guy get anywhere?

[Opinion Owner]

You be the best version of you. That's all you can do. I can't speak as a young male because it took me about 30-35 years to figure this all out. But as an older male women seek me out. I don't even try anymore. I pretty much don't give a rat's ass anymore. So I don't know if it's desperation on their part. Or if the just don't smell the desperation on me. Lol

[Asker]

Were you useless with women when you were younger?

[Opinion Owner]

Pretty much. All this comes from trial and error.

[Asker]

Probably because at 45+ women lose their looks and realise they’re suddenly not as desirable anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

There's a lot of truth in that. Good luck getting women to admit to that though. Lol

[In_Trance]

Has more to do with confidence and self awareness than looks