Is it right for my partner to dry hump me in private without my permission?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I’m 20 years. I’ve been dating this guy for 5 months and he’s amazing. He genuinely cares for me and protects me. The issue is, before getting in this relationship with him, I made it clear that I would practice abstinence, until the right time, as I’m catholic , he said he had no issue with it. We haven’t had any issue until a few days ago. I went to see him and while we were kissing, he took my shirt off and stripped me from the waist up forcefully. Then, he dry humped me until I stopped him. He’s perfect but the only issue I’ve ever had with him is this.

I have no intention of ending the relationship, he’s a good guy and has never done anything wrong but since that day, I’ve felt quite weird, a bit forced and I’m wondering how I can prevent this situation from repeating itself to focus more on the nonphysical parts of the relationship.

[SueShe]

This is a serious warning sign that you should not trust this guy.

Today, he forced you with your clothes on, tomorrow, you can rest assured, he will force himself upon you when you are totally naked and misuse you against your will. Guaranteed.

And guess what? You will not be able to do anything because you did not react properly now when he misused you. You tacitly accepted that he stripped you and that is causing a precedence. You should have intervened the second he attempted to get you naked and not only 5 or 10 minutes later.

This guy, I am sorry to say, is a danger for any woman. He is a very toxic person because he is unable to control himself. Your only reasonable option is to sever the relation while you still can.

[Asker]

thank you for this

[dontgetafemalecanine]

you need a dog. This action is a red flag. You understood and worshipped your religion but you as another important human being who is not seen respected by the other half (knowing that you are catholic and sex before marriage is absolutely prohibited) you guys should break up (however you have no intention to end relationship)

You are quite young. You should check the criteria for pickup artist online hoping that your current boyfriend isn't some malicious character.

To be damn honest, you should be asking your parents (yes, even when you are an adult (20)) or close friends rather than getting opinions from strangers (helpful or not) who tbh don't really care about you and your outcome/s

[Asker]

thank you

[ChrisMaster69]

That’s a complete lack of understanding about what consent is.

you need to be firm with you and get him to understand consent,

That can be a big problems going forward.

Also when you say stop or no, it’s means it and he should stop straight away.

[Asker]

Thank you, I find this helpful

[ChrisMaster69]

https://youtu.be/pZwvrxVavnQ

Watch the video

[ChrisMaster69]

@ Pretty Pink Anon, thank you most appreciated.

[Mradvice24601]

I think the young man just had a rush of lust and couldn't stop himself. Not excusing his actions though, that's not on at all. You can't just strip someone and hump them without permission.

I think you might need to have a sit down with him and explain again that these are your religious beliefs and you won't violate them. If he can't understand that or refuses to just because we wants to have sex, then unfortunately maybe you need to find another partner.

Im sure if he is a good person as you say he is, then this incident won't be repeating itself and he will behave.

[Zenit93]

Talk to him about him. He’s sexually excited around you. Be stern with your boundaries, and if he doesn’t respect them, then move on. Your faith and devotion to god is more important than him.

[Asker]

thank you

[Anonymous]

Talk to him about it. Restate the abstinence and that he needs to respect that. He's on the borderline of not respecting that, and if you let this go by not saying anything, it will probably happen again because "he got away with it" the first time.

[Opinion Owner]

There's two possibilities here, it's possible his desire and emotions just got the better of him in that moment (ie really horny), or "He genuinely cares for me and protects me." - isn't true, because nobody that is like this, would "forcefully" take off your shirt. So just keep that in mind also. He may not be the great guy you think he is? Especially if this happens again, or keeps happening.

[dontgetafemalecanine]

agree with both parties

[Asker]

this is helpful

[EdwinLivingston]

Comeon dear. Sex is part of love. Everybody have religion and that has nothing to do with our personal things. And I'm sure you wanna get dry humped again.
I did this to me girlfriend without asking and next time she asked me to do harder.

[Anonymous]

If you don't give him permission to do so then that's pretty much rape.

[Anonymous]

I once had sex w my girlfriend while she was passed out

[Asker]

that depends on if she's okay with you doing that, she's not me. Depends on if you've had that conversation before and if she consents to that, consent is everything.

[SnakeBoop]

if you do not consent to it, no.

[Asker]

thanks

[EmmaMary]

No, absolutely not.

[888theGreat]

Well you can't get pregnant that way

[skyeee_]

no...

[jimmy2]

He was trying to rape you

[EaterPeter]

Nope

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!