Do guys play dumb, or do they have difficulty expressing their feelings with a potential partner?

Question

ohshee · Accepted Answer

Well you can look at it a couple different ways we are either just done or
We have never been taught to do that before where girls have been when they talk to their mom they feel deeply about things and they communicate about them always don't go up to their dad and their dads don't go up to them and communicate about deep feelings so most boys so most men don't know how to do this but if you can find one that doesn't know how to do this and he starts doing it you better hold on tight because he's exploiting newground someplace where he's never been before but that's how much he likes you he wants to be able to do that with you the reason why guys cannot do that is because they were not brought up in that way 99.9% of guys are not brought up that way I was lucky where I left my house at 16 and I had to re Raise Myself and I wanted to know everything so I explored it I allowed it and I can do it my son can do it because he was too hot to express himself that way he's six foot seven easy fireman paramedic and it's funny to run into him in the store or some place when on duty because I will hear from 20 to 30 feet away Daddy he would walk straight up to me wrap his arms around me he's not afraid to show anybody who he is because he's confident with inside himself and he knows who he is and not afraid to show it

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No, we don’t play dumb, women want us to read their minds.
We also do not express emotions and feelings the same way women do, biologically.
But women can’t understand how men do not think the same way they do.
We are all animals and with that, we have some animal traits that still exist.
Men are built to deal with shit on their own and internally. This is from when we were hunters and gatherers. We didn’t have time to break down and have a chit chat about “feelings”, if we did we would be killed by prey. We had to deal with shit quickly and on our own. Which is why men are more decisive and shutdown to sort out shit in their head when met with problems.

Women would be in the pack or other women the male was protecting and providing for and therefore had a more pack mentality, which is still true today. They would gather together to work out issues and problems. They had to share their problems to get other women to help sort them out.
Women to this day still need the help of other women to sort out their brain. Which is why they discuss everything they think with girlfriends before making decisions.

TransAm85 · Accepted Answer

In my early 20's I was a stripper/escort and I saw a lot of married men. Some would pay me just to hang out and talk b/c they said their wives/girlfriends would nvr listen or were just w/them for the assets. Men have a lot of feelings and emotions, but they have to trust the woman they are with to show them who they truly are. I've been married now 9 years and in the beginning my husband was hostile when we were first dating, but now he's more vulnerable than me! It's how you carry yourself. If you're gonna be a gold digging bitch, of course he's not going to be himself. He'll use u just like ur using him!

PhenomenalQueen · Accepted Answer

While I appreciate the men who are honest and saying they’re not playing dumb, I will say I’ve come across men who play dumb… They pretend like they didn’t know they’re coming offensively.. Or like a good example was, a guy that I dated he always made the excuse that I was his first girlfriend and that was why he didn’t know any better and felt that I needed to teach him how to treat me… Yet, he wouldn’t dare disrespect his family the way he was with me.. (expressing himself) So, some are capable of playing dumb while others may in fact be a little more “dumb”. (although this isn’t how I would describe it)

ManOnFire · Answer

Have never done this. Any time I've been into a woman, I let her know I like her and want to talk more or do things with her (not necessarily sexual). Unlike beta simps who tag behind the girls they like in the hopes that she'll notice how much he likes her.

Silvanndude · Answer

So I'm a bit of an odd duck, but here are 3 situations I know of.
1. He doesn't see it. Your hints may be too subtle. Keep them subtle, but make sure he notices them. They should stay subtle because if you're too forward, he might think of you as a dangerous girl to be involved with.
2. He sees your signs, but is too nervous. If you are pretty sure he likes you, make some small advances to give him confidence. We guys are afraid of confessing to a girl that doesn't like us, so we get stuck in the "make a move, or preserve the friendship" dilemma. I don't pretend to know a girl's side of it though.
3. Some guys play dumb with hints. Maybe they want more, or maybe they're not interested.

JSmuve · Answer

Guys learn one way or another that if you express your feelings to a potential partner, they lose interest. So it's not that guys play dumb, it's that women aren't equipped to handle a man's emotions in a supportive and intimate way.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

9x out of 10 im not feeling anything in particular. Then when i do im mostly happy. If not that than sad or mad. Unlike women we dont particularly care about our feelings. Id rather solve a problem im dealing with than worry about my feelings. I've learned if you're having negative feelings the best way to resolve them is to ignore them and instead focus on a real world solution to fix the situation.

So what would i even have to talk about? It makes no sense.

HighValue · Answer

Growing up with almost no affection and being expected to not show feelings other than anger most of the time makes it very difficult for some guys to express their feelings. If you have a boyfriend like that, just be the one to initiate affection more often and you be the one to bring up different emotional topics. Only bring those up when alone with him, not around others.

wheresmrcunnunglis · Answer

Ha, this question reminded me of this stand-up clip from one of the comediennes I am now infatuated with after the superfluous stand-up on depression and bipolar.

KrisPW · Answer

Guys are taught that their feelings and emotions can make them appear weak. Both against a foe or with a partner. Manning up means to stop crying, stop being emotional, and take action. So expressing themselves to their partner is going to be tough for them until they know the partner very well. They need to know that it won't weaken them in your eyes and it won't be used against them later.

mb120101 · Answer

Depends on the emotion. I’m up front about anything that makes me angry. If it’s just something and irks me I keep my mouth shut and I’m observant until it’s a problem. If I’m sad I’ll tell someone I like romantically. Mostly depends on the situation and why I’m feeling those feelings. I’m not sure what you mean by play dumb but some guys just don’t talk about it in general and then they have issues

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly I am confused on the topic. I've heard many women say they want men to be more emotional and I've heard other say, once they got that out of there man, they found that they didn't actually like it.
I don't know what girls want. Honestly.

Anonymous · Answer

No, we don't play dumb. That's just silly. We are just not wired the way women are in that respect. It's not as natural for us.

But part of that is the way society shapes us from a very young age, too. We are told, directly and indirectly, that being vulnerable is not a good thing for males. Most women can't relate to this but boys and men are bombarded with message and clues all our lives that tell us being vulnerable can have negative consequences for men.

Men receive very mixed signals about this issue. We are told by well-meaning women that we should feel completely comfortable being vulnerable and showing our emotions, but at the same time we often get very strong indirect feedback to the contrary. We realize there is always going to be a higher acceptable threshold for vulnerability for men than for women. That's just a fact of human nature, and anyone who argues otherwise is being naïve and/or dishonest about it.

Anonymous · Answer

Guys know how judgmental women are so they're very cognizant that whatever they say is going to get directed 7 ways to Sunday. So while they'd LIKE to express their feelings they know it's better not to.

sissyalexa · Answer

Honestly not that this is true of all men, but a lot of male culture doesn't involve being outwardly emotional witch can mean that when men like a girl they struggle to know the correct approach to use and often end up seeming dopey or dumb 😊

If you like him, make him struggle a little with awkward conversation 😋 but then give him a hand and help him out 🥰

AimeeKyle · Answer

I always had difficulties expressing myself. I generally under valued myself in comparison to the “hot” girls I am/was attracted to. Confidence and nerve come with practice and age though. There are still moments though. A pretty girl can do that though.

exitseven · Answer

I always had a problem expressing my feelings. Even if I knew a girl was into me I still could not make my move.

Lionman95 · Answer

Expressing my feelings comes with a trust issue if I don´t feel like I can trust her I´ll never show or tell her about them.
Give a guy time because for us, feelings can be the most precious that we have so we don´t show them to everyone and therefore sometimes have a hard time expressing them because we can´t put our finger on how we feel.

Anonymous · Answer

We don't play dumb (or at least I don't). I find myself shy around people but I easily open up while texting. I wouldn't word it "difficulty expressing their feelings". I think biologically, we are easier able to handle our own emotions on our own (and let's also mention the heartless cold monster society expects us to be) so it might not be necessary for us to express ourselves like girls do. But in my case, I have cried before while talking to my girlfriend but it isn't frequent. Some of us might think like this, "I can handle my own emotions, why annoy my partner with it?" so it again can be because of nature making us the protective one. As always, in my answers I say it depends on the person. Some really do play dumb, others have a whole story behind it like me.

Wester1967 · Answer

Any guy who expresses his feelings in the way that a woman wants him too is asking straight up for the relationship to end. Once he lays it out, she will get appalled and bored and run off to find Chadwik thunderschlong who doesn't express anything but lust.

Berethor · Answer

Guys tend to be more stoic than girls.

Tjw78 · Answer

Most guys are emotionally immature. We are brought up believing that showing emotion is a sign of weakness and they never lose the ego. Boys are mean little shits that bully the ones that are emotional, and getting bullied sucks so they end up not learning how to express or communicate their emotions.

Jhunitor · Answer

Men do have feelings and know how to express them. They just choose carefully to whom. Usually they express them only with close male friends. Expressing them to women is always a danger : she can loose attraction, mock you, use them during arguments, talk about it with her friends. For all women complaining, ask yourself "Did I show him I am trustworthy?"

tass5636 · Answer

We can't express feelings without feeling weak and looked down on. It's just how the world tells us to be

Paul09 · Answer

Isn't it men that have to make all the first moves in every thing?

MrtoddsWildRide · Answer

I am often afraid that i will say the wrong thing and she will either judge it or be offended by it.
The thing is though that after I know you, I will not have a single fuck to give and you will get me unfiltered.

Heartache0405 · Answer

I don’t speak for all men when I say this, but I personally avoid any interest in any possible partner. Especially if I’m not interested in them. It’s harder when they are my type but they don’t tend to be interested which makes it easy

lightbulb27 · Answer

they probably not comfortable being vulnerable due to prior conditioning... so they clam up and deflect and defend. they fear being hurt or are not even aware of their emotions.

dogs are easier... just sayin'.

Juxtapose · Answer

I have trouble believing anyone but very few have any genuine interest in my feelings.

A potential lover is just going to look at me as a potential source of amusement and resources, they don't care about my humanity let's get real lol.

anton_dee · Answer

Not dumb or difficulty. It is tactful. We don't know how girls react so we play it safe

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No. Guys ARE dumb. And women have difficulty expressing their feelings with a potential partner.

Anonymous · Answer

We don't have emotions, well I don't at least

I genuinely have been given phone numbers I didn't call and literally had other people tell me someone was into me but still did nothing*

*-luckily a few of them took action so I actually had relationships with them

DizzyDesii · Answer

I dont think playing dumb correlates with having a hard time expressing themselves. Maybe they’re just shy. But usually once youve gained their trust, i doubt he’ll struggle as much.

Anonymous · Answer

Women hate emotional men, at the hind of tears they get turned off. I have been shamed by a girl for crying in front of her. I have got bad looks from another girl as I was sad about the loss of my pet kitty.
Most women want strong suck it up like men as they are already an emotional mess themselves.

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

They have difficulty because society has trained them not too. For the guys that do, some women aren't equipped to handle it.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Oh we aren't playing; we genuinely struggle to emote.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Expressing feelings can be seen as a sign of weakness. It also does little to solve the actual problem.

megabamse · Answer

For the most part we are grown up with the idea that men don't share their feeling, and if we do it will be used against us.

Alyssa_11 · Answer

From my experience a guy plays dumb when he’s trying to get away with something or doesn’t want to engage with you on something.

Pohjolan · Answer

Men are not playing dumb or have difficulties expressing their feelings just because they are not chasing after each and every attractive woman. If we did then we wouldn't have time for anything else.

globetrotter22 · Answer

Women are turned on by challenge and mystery whether they admit it or not.

Guanfei · Answer

We don't express it because girls will see us as weak and emotional, and will at some point use it against us.

noohair · Answer

Men don't process on the same level as women. You see it as playing dumb. We don't do the whole "hint" thing well and that is how women try to communicate. The male mind is too simple for that.

Anonymous · Answer

For me personally it's sometimes difficult to understand what my feelings actually are.

Janedoe25 · Answer

I think they just don't want to deal with any confrontation at all.

B4852 · Answer

Depends on the guy. Both can be true and neither can be true.  I'd put myself in the category of true for both. But to more accurate I'd use the term clumsy.

Parzival226 · Answer

i may be biased but no, you girls are just too cryptic and we don't know how

grega239 · Answer

And how do i express my emotions? Please tell me.

Waldoe · Answer

guys don't "Play"... we are dumb, as far as relationships are concerned...

Guslove · Answer

Yea I had that problem for a long time I just never realized it..😬

Shelay94 · Answer

I feel as if most play dumb, but sometimes I really wonder if they even have a brain or feelings

Anonymous · Answer

Neither. We just know that no one really cares about them, so why express them. Women only take those feelings and use it against us in a relationship

Anonymous · Answer

They are liar and thief or disabled. choose to live with

Just_call_me_Levi · Answer

Depends on the guy, I suppose.

Luopio27 · Answer

I confess my dumb assery.

TX651 · Answer

Sometimes very difficult.

jahaims · Answer

That would depend on the guy

MCheetah · Answer

Yes. 😀

JesseJayNeak · Answer

No. We are view thinks in a different way

jasco · Answer

depends on the guy

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

They play dumb

Kurdistan1991 · Answer

theY are so cruel

PL2022 · Answer

Some are really dumb

Do guys play dumb, or do they have difficulty expressing their feelings with a potential partner?

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Do guys play dumb, or do they have difficulty expressing their feelings with a potential partner?

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Why do guys get insecure and act dumb when they are in relationship?

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