I told my boyfriend about being sexually coerced before him. He held me in his arms the first night, then tried to "one up" the experience before?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

And I felt betrayed. He said he wanted to assert that "I belong to him".

[Anonymous]

I sadly can relate to being coerced and not consenting. Its a hard thing to deal with and can take control of your life. It sounds like this guy did not take it seriously at all. I would never want to be with someone who did not care about how I felt and just wanted to "claim" me. Sexual trauma is davastating and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. I hope you can overcome this hardship and I feel you should dump this trash guy.

[Asker]

How did you learn to not let it control your life?

[Opinion Owner]

It was very difficult for a very long time and I often still breakdown and just cry. I try to focus on the good parts of my life and try to mostly forget. Therapy probably would have helped but I dont really have the means for that at the moment. Just focusing on the good helps a lot. Getting into hobbies like writing or painting possibly. Things to help with release.

[Asker]

Did you have to rewire some core beliefs? I remember thinking "the world is evil and malevolent" and replace it with "the world just IS, neither good or bad. I can only learn to assert my boundaries, be kind yet assertive, take up self-defence classes. We are all one with the universe, the trees, sun, wind, abusers, saints, anxiety, pain, joy,"

[Opinion Owner]

I dont think my core beliefs changed really, but I definitely had to rethink about relationships. Since the person who hurt me I was in a relationship with it was hard to for me to believe someone I thought I loved could hurt me in that way. It was very damaging and warped how I looked at people who are close to me. I still have trouble trusting most people completely.

[Anonymous]

That's sweet. My man is the same. He owns my pussy and me but then I own him. We belong to each other.

https://youtu.be/qxZInIyOBXk

[SnakeBoop]

yeah, sexual assault is sweet.
-12 for the troll.

[Opinion Owner]

@SnakeBoop where did she mention the new guy sexually assaulted her?

[SnakeBoop]

She brought up to the partner she was coerced and therefore raped. And then he went "one up" and she feels betrayed...

[Opinion Owner]

@SnakeBoop coercion does not necessarily mean rape. She has not stated whether he forced or threatened her to do anything.

[EmmaMary]

Just two words...RED FLAG.

[Ekiewlen]

What the fuck. That is disgusting.

[Ekiewlen]

He needs to have his ass kissed.

[Wise4myage]

He sounds like a real knucklehead.

[SnakeBoop]

ewwwwwwwwww
run.