He agreed on having lunch with my family, is this a good sign?

[Cloudysky777]

So I’ve been dating non exclusively this guy for 8 months already, it’s a slow paced relationship because of past traumas of his so he doesn’t tend to take big steps in the relationship, just baby ones and I’m obviously okay with that.
I really like him, we are the people we see the most, hang out a few times a week, met my parents already (he gets along really well with them, always mentions how he likes my dad and how they are really kind towards him and since he doesn’t have that at his home it means a lot that they are this sweet with him).
He’s not ready for commitment yet (past trauma and he’s working on it, even saving money to go to therapy) but all of his friends treat me like I’m his girlfriend, he does too in front of them.
Thing is me and my family sometimes go spend the day with cousins on a nearby town, I invited him once a few months ago but he asked if he could bring his best friend (which I didn’t mind since I get along really well with him). But this time I invited him again and he said yes so he’s coming alone. We have to sit and have lunch with my whole family, etc, and he knows it. Should I take this as a big step? At least where I’m from you don’t take a friend to have lunch with your family, it would be heavily implied that we are together since my other cousins only bring their girlfriends/boyfriends.
Ps.: I just want an opinion on this, he literally has trauma to overcome so every baby step he takes means a lot. We are focused on building a strong emotional base since he didn’t have that before.

[Anonymous]

It is but what I'm afraid of and that you should be VERY careful of (to the point I'd personally even reconsider this lunch) is the "trauma". I'm afraid you're going to take this as too good of a "sign" (because of how you feel etc) and it might end up meaning a lot more to you than it will to him. This "trauma" sound pretty severe if he's needing therapy, and that alone suggest to me that he maybe shouldn't even be dating AT ALL at this point (baby steps or not). I'd really think about that and to protect yourself (if dating continues), be very careful of your feelings. And they can sneak up on you. The potential for you being hurt here is high I think. Very high.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know him obviously, or how your relationship or dates have gone to this point, but be very careful is all I'm saying. You may not get him to where you want him to be relationship wise. Or, could end up taking way longer than you think or plan for.

[Cloudysky777]

His trauma is not that bad. Just the only two relationships he had where emotionally abusive towards him, his most recent ex even had a copy of his phone on her computer. He believes is all his fault (although he didn’t do anything) so he now is depressed cause he feels lonely all the time/he thinks he’s not worthy of healthy love because he never had it. We talked about this a lot of times and he’s aware (and even told me himself) on how healthy we are and how he’s not used to that but it made him start seeing everything with other eyes. He’s 22 so he’s on an age where you deeply feel all of that (I’m 23).

[Opinion Owner]

Communication seems good, which is very positive. So what this will do is give him trust issues for sure. So that's one huge "battle" you'll have. Hopefully with good communication and time he'll come around for you (and there's nothing you can say to make it happen quicker, just the test of time is what it'll take). And hopefully he realizes that you and every relationship is different and doesn't hold on to that (like some people do).

[Cloudysky777]

Well he agreed on coming and he knows he’ll be viewed as my boyfriend. It’s my family not a group of friends. He could’ve declined or ask me to bring his friend like the last time. I think he’s aware of that. It’s a day in the middle of nowhere with my family, he doesn’t get anything else more than meeting them, well except food I suppose lol. If he was that scared of the idea he would’ve declíned I think.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I was going to say that also, it kind of moves your dating up a couple of levels lol. I'm sure he realizes that, but might be worth talking about it and getting it "confirmed". Not just how your family will see it, but the both of you are on the same page with it.

[Opinion Owner]

At the very least you'd be dating exclusively now, if not boyfriend/girlfriend.

[Cloudysky777]

Yeah I agree. I will focus on make him have a good day, it’s only a few hours away so I’m a bit nervous. I think the best case scenario for me would be seeing him get along with, not only my dad (which he already does) but my uncles, like seeing them talking about stuff without me or something like that. Would be a nice thing to see. Wish me luck!

[Opinion Owner]

I do. And I'd reconfirm you're on the same page relationship wise as far as where you're at. Like personally I wouldn't be meeting family if I was dating someone "non-exclusively". Time for a new title! lol :)

[TommyMountainFigure]

This sounds like it is a HUGE deal for him to be there with your entire family, and your parents know because they speak to him a fair bit.
My advice to you is, let him decide if he wants to bring his friend with or not. Otherwise I envisage him either making up some excuse not to be there at the last minute which will upset you, or him going but cowering in a corner somewhere and having a terrible time.

[Cloudysky777]

He’s already agreed on coming alone (didn’t ask for him friend to come) and isn’t the type to cancel last minute, plus we have it all planed out already, he’s coming home and he will be coming with us on our family car). It’s today by the way! (Just really early in the morning here). This is even bigger right?

[TommyMountainFigure]

I just hope everything goes ok for you both :)

[IsoUser]

Why would you even seek to feel the need to put other women under the bus

[Cloudysky777]

What?

[IsoUser]

Can I just say something as a daughter in that I never want my father to be hurt. Just be careful in what you say.

[Wise4myage]

Id say that's a very good sign. :)

[Stevefiveo]

Sounds like a good big step.

[In_Trance]

Suppose it is if it's lunchtime

[IsoUser]

One can always hope