He has sent you on a guilt trip. But there are ways to talk to these sort of people. Dont argue , sometimes even agree with them when they find fault. Or just say how would you have done it. Give them an answer i form of a question. No name calling, it just stokes up the fuel for them..
It’s just a random dude that you were texting, you don’t owe him an explanation. If it was someone you were seeing for a while, I would say you need to tell them how you’re feeling and end it in a more polite way. But if he gets in his feelings about someone he was just texting for 3 days, that’s his problem.
it's enough to just say you don't feel like keeping in touch anymore, especially since it was so brief between you. if you really want to give a reason, saying there's no chemistry between you/you don't feel like you're vibing is good enough. If he was rude that could have been used as well. dont feel bad about cutting rude people out of your life, boundaries are important.
@Flower7 see I think instead of ghosting afterwards, it is better to identify the rude remarks when they happen and establish the boundary right then and there. You could even identify it as a reason not to continue communicating. That way he gets feedback and a reason for the rejection.
Just tell the guy you don't think its going to work out then you block his number... its not really ghosting if you tell him first and are honest about it. After that your free and clear to block him and ghost.
"I didn’t like anything about him, mostly because he criticized me a lot and kinda talked down to me. I also just couldn’t stand his personality in general and had no attraction to him at all. "
You say this ⬆️ Just nicer if you care about his feelings, if he tries to argue or be insulting block his ass. At that point you said what you needed, you were the adult and the responsibility is no longer yours
No actually that’s not , in fact I do it a lot coming from a disfunctional familly it’s my way of communicating interest. i woudn t say mean things to peopel i don’t care about. If he critisize you but also compliments you. HE CARES , take it as a compliement and by the way having some feedback is always nice. You don’t realise sometime you are doing shit. on the ghosting part , it’s not good to do that. (I mean if he s nice a decent guy why coudn’t you stand him?, maybe because he scares you off , he s off mood why you , not the same energy. Isn’t good , if positive to at least have him as a friend.
Communicate your needs is important : I’m sorry i don t feel the same and i prefer we stay friends. If yes than great if yes but no than his loss.
A long time ago i had this girl i really liked , she would bully me (not bullying but critising making fun ) . She was for me the Bad bitch. One day irealised all this time she had a crush on me when she sent me a message asking me if i would come to a party to which i responded because i didn’t keep contact with her in any way (hey do we know each other [i didn’t know who was contacting me ] ) . She never replied but it made me realize she cared about me but never made the first move.
Conclusion : sometime the person who are into you are meen to you.
In your case : He likes you 1. Doesn’t want to admit it. If you re interested in him , do not chase him, he only waits that. Take the things he says personally and let him feel bad and try to make it up , live your life and (since he s the man ) he will need to ask you out at some point. (Classic men ask girl ) [Not saying it’s good just posing facts] 2. You’re not interested in him , kindly say 'Hey NAME (important it make it so you acknowlege who he is and make it less painful and expressing his name subconsciously gives a compliment to the perosn in question) I’m sorry i know you really like me and all but i’ m not interested ‘ when he says something not nice to you again. He will denie : Think -> What a Bitch and be bitter for few weeks until he finds someone else. Or he’ll be Mature enough and GTFO , and or try to be friends which you will accept (if you want to appear like the nice girl but not engage because friendhip when love has been in the equation is Him waiting for you to change , which will hurt him on the long run seeing you don’t show the same level of interest and at some point will make this fake friendship fade
Or play it as a bitch and Say No sorry :hurts far more but less painful in time. And far quicker for you to have him of your back
Bitch being a positive term : The only thing : SHOW some genuin empathy, it s hard being rejected but it s even harder realising that there was nothing when you thought there was something whith someone when in reality there was nothing.
@Gringothegango There is a huge difference between constructive criticism (which is requested in healthy relationships, not given out freely as if one is superior over the other) and abusive bullying. I don’t believe in ghosting either. Unless the person refuses to see the end point, in which case it’s not ghosting, as there is a clear finish, it’s ignoring harassment. This seemed like ghosting as neither would stand up and give a clear cut-off.
@Flower7 Sorry you had to go through that. So unnecessary.
People communicate differently : you woudn’t speak to someone you despise. You would ignore them and eventually speak of them in their back ( i don’t do it that just what normal people usually do )
@Gringothegango I hear you, about your "bad bitch who liked you", but the thing is she was immature and did her tactic work for her? no it didn't. Why? Because it was a lousy way to let you know she liked you.
I do agree ghosting is the worst. Worse than criticizing someone. Because with criticism they can at least have an idea what they did wrong and either ignore the lesson or learn from it.
@zeitgeist057 people don’t do it consciously. Sometimes you unconsciously critisize someone face to face because you care avt them. It’s like impliing NOW YOU CAN SAY YOU RE TRUTH TO ME NOW. (Truth she woudn’t say to a stranger ) -> it’s imposing a new relaity to the relationship.
@Gringothegango true, that's one possibility. Another is that a person is critical like this because they are critical of themselves as well. It's just how they see the world, always finding something wrong with everything. I've met people like that and even if they do like me, I don't want to be around them.
Good question, the easy and natural thing to do is just ghost someone when you're completely not interested. If they are totally rude and obnoxious than yeah I say just ghost them, otherwise you can just let them know you're not feeling a good connection. I've been ghosted a few times and it sucks but I usually figure out why and learn from it, though an explanation would be nice, I don't expect it and it prob would be a little awkward.
You don't owe him an explanation, it's not like you two were in a relationship. If you feel like you should say something, just say "it's not going to work out between us, have a good one" or something like that. Don't say sorry. You don't have to apologize for anything, the guy is a douche.
I think clearly stating what you´re up to. That may sound rude at first but it can be helpful in the long run because at least you´ve been honest about you´re feelings.
If he reaches out to you again I would just tell him you don’t think you’re compatible and you don’t see it going anywhere. But if he doesn’t text you again, don’t worry about it.
I wouldn't say anything unless he texts you back. If he does, tell him you're not interested without giving him any reasons. Chalk it up to experience.
I think he has taken the message. But it would have been better if you have ended on better terms than this. But now I don't think you are left with any other options.
I don't like ghosting myself too if its without any reason. But in your case you are right, he wasn't your type and you lost attraction and interest to text him.
If you feel bad, you can tell him, you have lost interest in him for chatting.
I don’t think you have to go into all of the details. Just be honest and tell him you don’t think it is working out or going to work out and leave it at that. At least if you don’t answer messages after that then you did tell him something.
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He has sent you on a guilt trip.
But there are ways to talk to these sort of people. Dont argue , sometimes even agree with them when they find fault. Or just say how would you have done it. Give them an answer i form of a question. No name calling, it just stokes up the fuel for them..
It’s just a random dude that you were texting, you don’t owe him an explanation. If it was someone you were seeing for a while, I would say you need to tell them how you’re feeling and end it in a more polite way.
But if he gets in his feelings about someone he was just texting for 3 days, that’s his problem.
it's enough to just say you don't feel like keeping in touch anymore, especially since it was so brief between you. if you really want to give a reason, saying there's no chemistry between you/you don't feel like you're vibing is good enough. If he was rude that could have been used as well. dont feel bad about cutting rude people out of your life, boundaries are important.
He was definitely rude on several occasions!
Rude such as?
@Flower7 see I think instead of ghosting afterwards, it is better to identify the rude remarks when they happen and establish the boundary right then and there. You could even identify it as a reason not to continue communicating. That way he gets feedback and a reason for the rejection.
Just tell the guy you don't think its going to work out then you block his number... its not really ghosting if you tell him first and are honest about it. After that your free and clear to block him and ghost.
It's never good to ghost and neither to count people's bad attributes if specially you are ending it.
You can just be polite and directly say.
I feel that we are compatible and I don't want to continue further let's leave on a good note.
Though it is very abstract and no particular reason was given I think it's still a better way.
We are not compatible *
Lol I ate the not 👻
"I didn’t like anything about him, mostly because he criticized me a lot and kinda talked down to me. I also just couldn’t stand his personality in general and had no attraction to him at all. "
You say this ⬆️
Just nicer if you care about his feelings, if he tries to argue or be insulting block his ass. At that point you said what you needed, you were the adult and the responsibility is no longer yours
If he criticized you, that is awful, don’t feel bad now. You could have ended it better to ease your own mind, but sounds like he earned the silence.
No actually that’s not , in fact I do it a lot coming from a disfunctional familly it’s my way of communicating interest. i woudn t say mean things to peopel i don’t care about.
If he critisize you but also compliments you. HE CARES , take it as a compliement and by the way having some feedback is always nice. You don’t realise sometime you are doing shit. on the ghosting part , it’s not good to do that. (I mean if he s nice a decent guy why coudn’t you stand him?, maybe because he scares you off , he s off mood why you , not the same energy. Isn’t good , if positive to at least have him as a friend.
Communicate your needs is important : I’m sorry i don t feel the same and i prefer we stay friends. If yes than great if yes but no than his loss.
@Gringothegango He never gave me any compliments. He always only said negative things. Not one positive comment about me.
A long time ago i had this girl i really liked , she would bully me (not bullying but critising making fun ) . She was for me the Bad bitch. One day irealised all this time she had a crush on me when she sent me a message asking me if i would come to a party to which i responded because i didn’t keep contact with her in any way (hey do we know each other [i didn’t know who was contacting me ] ) . She never replied but it made me realize she cared about me but never made the first move.
Conclusion : sometime the person who are into you are meen to you.
In your case : He likes you
1. Doesn’t want to admit it. If you re interested in him , do not chase him, he only waits that. Take the things he says personally and let him feel bad and try to make it up , live your life and (since he s the man ) he will need to ask you out at some point. (Classic men ask girl ) [Not saying it’s good just posing facts]
2. You’re not interested in him , kindly say 'Hey NAME (important it make it so you acknowlege who he is and make it less painful and expressing his name subconsciously gives a compliment to the perosn in question) I’m sorry i know you really like me and all but i’ m not interested ‘
when he says something not nice to you again.
He will denie : Think -> What a Bitch and be bitter for few weeks until he finds someone else.
Or he’ll be Mature enough and GTFO , and or try to be friends which you will accept (if you want to appear like the nice girl but not engage because friendhip when love has been in the equation is Him waiting for you to change , which will hurt him on the long run seeing you don’t show the same level of interest and at some point will make this fake friendship fade
Or play it as a bitch and Say No sorry :hurts far more but less painful in time. And far quicker for you to have him of your back
Bitch being a positive term :
The only thing : SHOW some genuin empathy, it s hard being rejected but it s even harder realising that there was nothing when you thought there was something whith someone when in reality there was nothing.
@Gringothegango There is a huge difference between constructive criticism (which is requested in healthy relationships, not given out freely as if one is superior over the other) and abusive bullying.
I don’t believe in ghosting either. Unless the person refuses to see the end point, in which case it’s not ghosting, as there is a clear finish, it’s ignoring harassment. This seemed like ghosting as neither would stand up and give a clear cut-off.
@Flower7 Sorry you had to go through that. So unnecessary.
People communicate differently : you woudn’t speak to someone you despise. You would ignore them and eventually speak of them in their back ( i don’t do it that just what normal people usually do )
@Gringothegango I hear you, about your "bad bitch who liked you", but the thing is she was immature and did her tactic work for her? no it didn't. Why? Because it was a lousy way to let you know she liked you.
I do agree ghosting is the worst. Worse than criticizing someone. Because with criticism they can at least have an idea what they did wrong and either ignore the lesson or learn from it.
@zeitgeist057 people don’t do it consciously. Sometimes you unconsciously critisize someone face to face because you care avt them. It’s like impliing NOW YOU CAN SAY YOU RE TRUTH TO ME NOW. (Truth she woudn’t say to a stranger ) -> it’s imposing a new relaity to the relationship.
@Gringothegango true, that's one possibility. Another is that a person is critical like this because they are critical of themselves as well. It's just how they see the world, always finding something wrong with everything. I've met people like that and even if they do like me, I don't want to be around them.
Good question, the easy and natural thing to do is just ghost someone when you're completely not interested. If they are totally rude and obnoxious than yeah I say just ghost them, otherwise you can just let them know you're not feeling a good connection. I've been ghosted a few times and it sucks but I usually figure out why and learn from it, though an explanation would be nice, I don't expect it and it prob would be a little awkward.
You don't owe him an explanation, it's not like you two were in a relationship. If you feel like you should say something, just say "it's not going to work out between us, have a good one" or something like that. Don't say sorry. You don't have to apologize for anything, the guy is a douche.
Directly tell him that he pisses you off more than he makes you smile and that you’d kindly like to walk away rather than ghost
You could say the broad truth: I knew you, and found that we aren't a match. Flying over the details.
Ghosting is not decent/civil behaviour indeed — regardless of how wide-spread it is —
I think clearly stating what you´re up to. That may sound rude at first but it can be helpful in the long run because at least you´ve been honest about you´re feelings.
Just a short answer like "Sorry, but I don't see us fitting. Nevertheless I wish you good luck from now on".
just telling someone that you're not interested in social interactions with them anymore. just say good bye and that's it.
If he reaches out to you again I would just tell him you don’t think you’re compatible and you don’t see it going anywhere. But if he doesn’t text you again, don’t worry about it.
I wouldn't say anything unless he texts you back. If he does, tell him you're not interested without giving him any reasons. Chalk it up to experience.
No just say hi I am sorry but I realised we’re not compatible and we should go out separate ways. I wish you the best.
I think he has taken the message. But it would have been better if you have ended on better terms than this. But now I don't think you are left with any other options.
I don't like ghosting myself too if its without any reason. But in your case you are right, he wasn't your type and you lost attraction and interest to text him.
If you feel bad, you can tell him, you have lost interest in him for chatting.
I don’t think you have to go into all of the details. Just be honest and tell him you don’t think it is working out or going to work out and leave it at that. At least if you don’t answer messages after that then you did tell him something.