If you are confident/insecure, do you prefer to date someone who is also that or would you prefer the opposite?

Question

I still disagree with the whole opposites attract. But I’m watching Miraculous Ladybug reruns and it just seems like the guy Adrien finds himself more attracted to strong confident women like Ladybug and Kagami rather than shy and anxiety filled Marinette (Ladybugs alterego). And i find it silly because Adrien himself is a bit insecure and can't even standup to his own dad YET he only seems to want to date the opposite... confident girls. I mean he only acts overconfident when in his alterego Cat Noir getup.
So do you also prefer to date someone who has the confidence you lack or who lacks the confidence you have? Or do you prefer to date someone who is just as confident/insecure as you? I’d likely go for the same as myself. I feel I’m more confident then insecure. But of course everyone has insecure moments. I like shy guys but I’m not the type to overwork myself trying to bring someone out of their shell. I’d get tired after a few weeks and move on #FeelFreeToList #OppositeDay

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

I HATE ego in people! I can't stand it! So I prefer to date someone who is also modest/humble, like me. Also, egotistical people are a lot to deal with, so I definitely would choose "insecure" over "confident."

However, women seem to be the opposite. They've admitted they like to "confidence leech" off of men with high egos. Maybe that's why many of them love that in a man more than anything else. But you can be insecure and (fake) "confident" at the same time.

The problem, due to social media and "Slut Culture," not too many women have humility or modesty nowadays. They're always told they can be the worst things possible in society and that if anyone has a problem with it, they're "misogynists" or some BS. Thus, you get a generation of Zoomer girls on OnlyFans. Not to mention, how many women nowadays are queer (gay). So not too many modest/humble women still around.

However, in regards to what you said, I really dislike (I won't say "hate") Miraculous Ladybug! Such a trash show! All my female students like that crap! The boys like Pokemon cards though. I don't like Miraculous Ladybug or Rule 34 stuff, but just this once, I'm posting this out of spite.

If you are confident/insecure, do you prefer to date someone who is also that or would you prefer the opposite?

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

Opposites only attract in terms of male and female. Other than that similarities are what draw and keep people together. Similar interests, views, life goals, sense of humor and sense of understanding when communicating are all huge factors that help to maintain relationships. If there are too many differences in those categories, more issues will arise as the relationship progresses.

I think most people would prefer to date a confident person. It's less draining mentally and emotionally. However, it's not a perfect world and you have to come to terms that everyone has their own insecurities and giving your partner someone to lean on and reassure them in times of weakness is your job as a partner.

For me I don't mind having either or, as long as we have those similarities I mentioned above and that they're trustworthy, honest and loyal.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Accepted Answer

Good question☺️ Probably confident…

I’m not insecure, but I’m not confident. I think I’m in the middle, and I have my ups and downs every day, ya know? I think I am more insecure than confident though.

In my dating history, I found myself dating a lot of insecure guys, who kinda masked themselves as confident. I mean, they’re outwardly outgoing and sociable, but deep down very insecure with themselves. I thought that their confidence and outgoing personality was attractive.

I do look for pretty decently confident guys. I mean, not someone who is cocky and egotistical, but no someone who is insecure and self hating. Somewhere in the middle, like I am. It would probably balance me out if I dated a guy who was confident.

One thing I’ve noticed that I prefer and are attracted to, are outgoing guys. To me, they seem confident. I just find that attractive because it’s the opposite of me, I am very shy and reserved. I want someone who can bring me out of my shell, similar to confident guys, I want their confidence to build up my confidence. If that makes sense… Lol.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

I don't know that I'd call myself "confident", but I know what I'm about and I am secure in my identity.

I refuse to date someone who is insecure or doesn't know what they're about.

My last partner was highly insecure and it effectively stopped our relationship from progressing.

For me to enjoy my life to its fullest, I think someone likewise confident and secure in themselves is necessary.

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

Do opposites attract? The question asked for centuries. My understanding below also reflects the partners I choose

Yes and No.

Morals and values must be the same. It does not mean that they will have the same levels of self-control... it just means that it is easier for them to try, help each other, and don't give up.
...
Now getting into something more complex... it is more than confidence or insecurity.
No human is "naturally" always 100% anything when it relates to """emotions " such as confidence and anxiety :
both men AND women naturally have "masculine and feminine" energies, which are merely labels. It is necessary for survival of both genders. It does Not mean that men and women are the same.

One person tends to have more of one energy than the other. This difference is necessary for attraction.

Behavioral wise, if you picture a dance " two people trying to lead the dance, and it will mess up."
But who leads or "teaches" should differ from time to time, according to their area of expertise.
Each individual will always have more experience than the other in one field and not in another.
It is good when both give turns to listen and learn from each other.

NathanDavis · Answer

I am confident... and I like like/need/want to be with someone that is confident, and preferably assertive as well

I should mention that I do make a differentiation between the people who are insecure over all or about many things... and the people who are more or less insecure about certain things, which I consider it normal, and we ALL can have some of that

but generally speaking, I have only been in relationships with confident people... I cannot really imagine myself being with someone that is troubled with insecurities

Lliam · Answer

I don't know how to describe my confidence level. I come off kind of laid back, but I'm also a go getter and am up for a challenge. I'm always ready to seize the day. I'm happily confident but not even a little bit arrogant or egotistical. People see me as friendly and approachable.

I like ladies who can stand on their own two feet and are committed to pursuing their goals and making their way in life. They are friendly, unaffected, kind of demure, but also able to stand toe to tow with a guy and look him in the eye, willing to come up and chat and even send signals of flirtation and attraction. I do like confidence, courage and assertiveness, but I'm not into princesses or snobs.

So maybe I'm describing women whose confidence level is comparable to mine. Except it's cute when a girl comes off being a little bit demure.

Guy__ · Answer

I grew up shy and preferring shy girls, but nowadays I get possessed by male hormones, and all the females get equally "submissive" by softening their voice etc when in the mood. I don't know what to call it, I can't help but get hard when they bend over as I walk by, unless I force myself to get angry at them. I would guess they are confident enough to bend over in front of me. Would shy mean the only way to show interest is they try to annoy me to get my attention? If so then I only like confident ones.

Кураж · Answer

Eh, I consider myself fairly socially confident and I'm fine with either.
I guess I prefer women who are a little more on the sassy side, at least in private/when they are around me, but I low-key seek to sweep them off their feet anyway (it's just more satisfying to watch them tumble after they have put up a fight).
But I have also dated and fallen for women with straight-up crippling social anxiety and it was fine.

That being said, I don't like insecurities in terms of self-esteem.
I'm not gonna put up with someone who will try to constantly seek validation from me, request to look through my phone or question who I talk to on social media and why, miss me with that shit.

Paul09 · Answer

Well a confident person can help you feel more confident. That isn't really a opposite attraction. Like I'm about shy at first because of anxiety. So if the other person is shy, ill think she isn't interested in me. In my dating experiences anyways. A confident person actual showing some interest , talks more, asks more, give me some hope. So I open up faster. But most my dates felt like I interviewed them.. And I see few friends who are married that don't have much in common. Married for a long time with kids. I have no clue what keeps them together. I think I'll ask next time lol.

RobT312 · Answer

Hmmm interesting. I agree with you that confident people still have insecurities.
i guess I’d consider myself confident but not overly confident to the point of being obnoxious.
i have tended to date the same type, I guess I get along better with similar personality. When I have dated shy and insecure, I lost patience and it didn’t work out.

AZandrea · Answer

The spectrum of types of people is so wide that there is always someone more introverted than you and someone more extroverted than you.

Well I agree with you that it's not your job to go around breaking people out of their shells.

I recommend dating someone around the same energy level because you don't wanna get too exhausted or too bored.

melanieeeB · Answer

I don't get along with insecure people, their insecureness makes me so frustrated and angry lol like I can talk with them, but I wouldn't hang out for too long
I do also have some insecurities but overall I'm pretty confident and that's also what I do like in a partner or I also don't might over confidence, as long as his heart is at the right place

crossdressingrihno · Answer

I'm both confident and insecure

I'm confident in almost everything I do the only things I'm not confident on are my spelling and my looks and unfortunately in those cases I'm very insecure well I'm also insecure about my name but no one ever finds out my name and when they do I get pissed

Shy women definitely have a place in my heart but so do The confident type I think I prefer The confident type but I'd totally date a shy woman

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Im a bit more shy and quiet but can be confident at times and I usually seem to attract more strong and outgoing women and they make me feel a little uneasy as I feel I couldn't keep up with their confidence or it might be too much for me honestly. Id prefer someone who was more on my level.

Ghen30 · Answer

I once dated an extrovert. We got along really well considering I was an introvert and less confident. I'm now dating someone who is an introvert and pretty shy, and so far it's going well, but it's still pretty recent between us.

I like both introverts and extroverts, so long as they have a friendly personality and can make me feel safe, comfortable and make me laugh.

anon1903 · Answer

Um, first of all, Adrien is attracted to Lady Bug because she doesn't make it obvious that she likes him. Pays it cool, and is quite reliable partner. I just think if Adrian paid more attention to Marinette, he'd solve the whole Cinderella mystery. Also, about not standing up to his father — maybe he admires that boldness in Lady Bug? UwU.

I prefer to go after confident people.

Anonymous · Answer

It's a hard question for me.

I myself am I very insecure person. I'm insecure about my height, my face, my voice, my personality, my style, the way I talk and so on.

I am very attracted to confident guys. Something about happy and confident men is just so attractive, I want to be around them. (Not he overly confident men who think they are gods) But at the same time I feel like an insecure guy would understand me better. But I also feel like negative and insecure people just drain you and the relationship almost never turns out ok.

So I don't know, I'm stuck in between.

kinggeorge007 · Answer

Umm interesting question. I think I'd attract to the opposite. It will make things easier. I know similars get attracted too. But we always adore what we don't have. And it will be beneficial in long term too. They'll be able to do stuff you can't and when you meet problems to solve, they will have different views on how to solve it and it will be very helpful.

humanearth · Answer

Dizzy I have always been very confident around the opposite sex.

If we meet on the street, (first thing you would do is laugh your ass off, because most likely be wearing something silly like a hot pink bikini) you would find out that I'm very charismatic, charming and I make a great piece of eye candy

Anonymous · Answer

I think it can change. For example, one shy person can have attraction to the other shy person. The other shy person can have attraction to the confident person. It is the same for confident person too. I mean it is not just about the personality type it consists of other things too so it is just preference.

garykingg · Answer

I'm confident and I talk with strangers with ease (that's part of my job) but I'm an introvert. I don't mind dating someone who is an extrovert, but there's something cute about a shy insecure woman. If she was shy or insecure I would help her out in dealing with her anxiety and help her be more open to talking with others (strangers). I find shy girls to be cute, feminine. I'm attracted to that, so yes I would prefer the opposite.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Here's my take on it: I think "shy" girls are seeking a Chad to dominate them. And regular (possibly more humble) dudes can smell that red flag a mile away, so they avoid those types of women and instead look for women who seem to have their shit together. (... But not TOO much together. Because we don't like arrogant b*tches, either.)

dragoblack · Answer

I can definitely say my confidence in dating isn't very high due to years of constant rejection and disappoint. I am a little insecure just because my anxiety brings up social fears due to years of mental scarring & trauma in my childhood... but that's workable. I do like petite women, but i also like athleticly muscular women... so... both? Regardless i like women i can vibe with, have a fun time with, and feel comfortable being around.

If you are confident/insecure, do you prefer to date someone who is also that or would you prefer the opposite?

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