Why do guys do the slow fade?

[Carmona2]

Why would a guy act interested and take you on dates and make future plans with you and then just slowly start to fade away. For example, I was dating this guy for month and everything was going so well, then he started to text me less and take longer to respond, and cancel plans more. So I broke up with him out of frustration and he was quick to agree. I feel like maybe I was taking things too fast. I did spend the night at his place the second date and we had sex. Did he just use me? It’s been 2 weeks exactly since we have broken up , but it feels like forever. I feel like at this point if he wanted to he would saying something to me. Should I text him and tell him how I feel… like say I think the relationship was rushed into and I would like to start over? We are still friends on social media.

[Anonymous]

'Did he just use me?

''I did spend the night at his place the second date and we had sex.'

I see a lot of women asking this question when things do not go their way. No matter what society and media want you to think, sex is never casual period. Therefore every single time you are intimate with a man without being exclusive (at the very least), or married, subconsciously he is being sent a message and this will never change... and that message rarely encourages him to commit, become exclusive, or to cherish you more. Ask yourself why casual sex is promoted so much and you will understand. Until you understand your responsibilities as the gatekeeper of sex... you will continue making the same mistakes.

Think of it from this perspective. If you met a guy that said he was dating to find marriage and on the second date he said you were the one, proposed to you, gave you a ring, and introduced you as his wife... would you trust him?

[Carmona2]

So if I did not give it up so soon …. He would probably still be with me. I mean it is a two way street in a way too. It’s not all on me. He could say no we should wait like I told him, but he wanted to do it anyways.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes that's true, it's a two way street and he could have waited. However, when you told him you wanted to wait but still agreed to go ahead, it demonstrates you do not enforce your boundaries. Thus in today's culture both man and woman have forgotten their roles completely.

Men and women should be looking out for each other, but due to ego, this has become divided. Thus the man became the gatekeeper of relationships, and the woman became the gatekeeper of sex.

[Carmona2]

Yes I agree, I’m foolish for given in, but because I feel like I need validation/accepted/loved. Part of that comes from my past trauma from family and not getting the proper nourishment growing up. I need to work on myself first before throwing myself into relationships. I did not mean to do what I did so early in the relationship and I feel terrible.

It just seems like he sees me as a piece of crap because of one silly mistake I made. I’m worth more then sex and I know that. I wish he could see the good in me and stay with me a little longer.

Anyways, I think that both men and women should be equally the gatekeeper of both the sex and the relationship. It’s just all about communication and honestly. It’s like I understand these things, but I get so caught up in this evil world sometimes. I’m trying to be better.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes men and women should equally be the gatekeeper of both the sex and the relationship. But those who wish to prevent humanity from ascending used those as a weapon and both parties fell for it. It takes discipline, connection with the innerself / stillness and more in order for a man to acquire the self control necessary to see beyond his own desire, same for a woman.

Many seek external relationships when the one they should be focusing on more is the one they have with themselves.

Your best bet is to stop this now and never make the same mistake again. Your ability to bond will vanish if you continue on that path. This is assuming you haven't made that same mistake too many times. Remember.. nothing the media promotes is good for you.

[andypaul69]

Maybe he didn't like your personality. For example, in my case, I was dating someone for 2 months. In that relationship it was always me who had to initiate a conversation and I felt that it is was one-sided. So slowly I started to fade away and then after a week she messages me that she is sad as I don't talk much to her. I love women who take charge and are intelligent and many don't fall into that category. It has nothing to do with looks or sex.

[LazerBean]

Either he thought you were easy, or he just realized there was something about you he didn't really like. Maybe both.

[boggboss]

Because he got what he wanted u are still thinking about the relationship whilst he I living his best life

[Wise4myage]

I'm guessing guys that do that are afraid of commitment.