What scares you off when dating?

Question

razelove · Accepted Answer

Evasion and/or jealousy. The evasion is more of a turn off, being dishonest, wanting to meet up, but playing games, being dishonest, there are many ways to be evasive, and it's just a good sign that the person isn't into me, isn't ready to date, whatever, it won't work out unless they take a step forwards.

The jealousy will send me running. Women get away with some craziness, and they are at their absolute peak when jealous and not getting their way. I've had a girl show up where I worked because we kissed once drunk at a party. Another keep showing up, yelling at me that what I was doing wasn't christian after she threw herself at me, then we had a threesome with my wife, went out on a date together, and she decided it was sinful. It messed with my research until I drove out for a "date" to clear things up and kicked her out of my car in the bricks.

Yeah, so jealousy would be the big trigger for me. Hmm, I can't count how many women have threatened with oh, I can't live without you, I think I'll do something to myself, boo hoo hoo. Funny how every time I hand them a gun and say do it, they suddenly regain sanity and their will to live.

Seriously, thinking about it more, I'm going to start treating jealousy like rabies. I got off track, but mostly just recalling so so many terrible memories.

cth96190 · Accepted Answer

The list includes, but is not limited to: insanity (one in four adult females are on prescription psychiatric medications), entitlement, being a narcissistic bitch, being a Karen, being a Democrat and/or Feminist, facial piercings, unnatural hair colours, body hair, fat, having been a carousel rider, incurable venerial diseases, a divorce rate north of 50 per cent (after an average of eight years), divorce law that favours women and destroys men, spousal support, child support and 30 per cent (perhaps more) of children being the products of cuckoldry.
Hell, were do I sign up for that deal?

Seinna · Accepted Answer

Only that I will waste my time/emotions on someone who's not for me. And that mostly happens when someone tries to deceive you or claim to want the same things as you just to keep you around and then you realise they never come to pass. It happened to me and my close friend who's facing a possibility of divorce because the guy she married who claimed to want kids and family won't even talk to her about it after 5 years of being together, 3 of them married.

Everything else is easy to handle, whatever baggage a guy has, if I don't like it I can just walk away. Problem is, people aren't always honest, they lie for their own convenience even at the expense of others.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

My list of red flags continues to grow, but here's some:

- they don't have a job/aren't looking
- they want/have kids (scares me off immediately - I am childfree, have been since 7, and sterile - I'm fun weed and board game aunt, not mother material)
- they're entitled
- they're liberal or conservative (socialist/communist or bust)
- they're a climate denier
- they're racist/sexist/homophobic
- they can't hold a conversation
- they are clearly only interested in sex

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

When I can't get her to agree to meet up in the first place, and the goalposts are constantly getting moved. Also: bait and switch games, stashing behavior, gaslighting, childish refusal to hear out an unpopular fact, she's in an English college class and can't write a single coherent sentence, random other acts of unbelievable immaturity, and constantly changing her story about her past boyfriends.

Guys: any woman who acts like that, run! Before she's making false rape accusations and cutting your brake lines!

Moose304 · Answer

Aside from hygiene issues. I don't care for profanity, I don't like visible tats and really rather she not have things like a nose ring and 20 earrings on her ears. I won't date a smoker. The next comment might be deemed offensive, but I am uncomfortable around dumb females. I am not speaking about her being able to discuss Planck's constant etc. If I am talking about Belgium I want her to at least know that is in Europe and generally where it is located. Another thing that turns me off is clingy women.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

If the guy is pushy, or love-bombs / overly affectionate, cannot handle that I have a life beside him.
Aggressive behavior and thinks he's better or more important than everybody else.
Talks badly about others unprovoked
Treats those in the service industry or "those beneath him" with disrespect.
Can only talk negatively, or the conversation always turns sexual.
Hates women.

Manipulative behaviour and lack of respect of boundaries

Things like that

Kkstarzz96 · Answer

Boys don't really scare me when we're dating. They turn me off compared to how I was feeling about them before the date, but not scare. I scare them, and mostly all of them agree I am too needy and emotional. It can be managed but it's not going to go away. If they want me to be in control of that, then don't give me a reason to be upset or feel empty in our relationship. It's simply communication and having a plan.

DaveJord · Answer

Insecurities of any type. A women who holds back, or does not commit or emotionally is willing to engage in a real relationship. Someone who plays games, is hot or cold from one day to the next. A person that gets caught up on who should do what first, and when or how. So they don't text or make you wait or cause you to question yourself all the time, or makes you think maybe she's into me its hard to tell.

MCheetah · Answer

Not "scared" of it, but I'm done wasting my time with women who reject me because I'm only 180 cm. Or reject me because I'm dark skinned. Or reject me because I'm not shirtless with abs in any of my online dating profile pictures.

As for what type of woman I would refuse to date or even humor in dating? Queer women/bisexuals (lesbians), feminists, Progressives' (far-left), and any woman who takes "non-binary" and made-up pronouns seriously.

saintsRow3 · Answer

I wouldn’t call it getting scared off.
I’m a man and I fear nobody.
I’ve had Guns pointed at me and I’ve even shot At people that Broke into my home.
Only 1 man left with his life that day when him and his 3 friends decided to Break into my home. I don’t put up with manipulation if A girl thinks she can manipulate me then she’s Greatly mistaken. Only time I’m willing to go to great lengths for a Girl is when I’m Either Breaking up with her. Which in that case takes me a week to break up with her. Gotta show her what she’s missing. Or if I see somebody Hurting a Girl I will let The Abuser know.
You can go ahead and stop that right now or things are going get Physical real quick. And There’s times when I don’t say anything and I don’t Appear to be mad.
I will just hit another dude in his face.

SimpleGuy95 · Answer

Not knowing if I´m ready for a relationship. Besides that I´m a very self-concious person which can block me from being spontaneous.
Besides that it´s mostly the missing ability to distinguish if a woman is really interested in me or is just nice to me for the moment.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

"Im an independent woman"

Anything about putting men down... ie "sometimes you just have to nag a man to get your way" "i wear the pants" even just joking stuff... if its even on her mind she's a problem woman.

Talks about work. Nobody give a shit about a womans job. y'all care what we do yet still dont want to hear about it. We dont even care what y'all do so we definitely dont want to hear about it at all.

Any talk about pets as if they are babies. Any talk about babies. Any talk about marriage.

Anything about how your house or car or anything is dirty. Its one thing for a dude to be a bit messy but a woman who can't keep her place decent... puke.

Anything about heavy drinking drugs slutting around burping farting... even hint at being nasty and just no.

boldlyblu · Answer

Men coming on to strong, I'm come off as very conservative upon first meeting until I warm up to the person ( if it happens) the stronger they come on the quieter and shy I become cause I'm thinking my way out of the date.

ChocolatePink · Answer

Stupid comments, slurs, immature reactions, close minded, aggressiveness, shyness, lack of opinions, assertiveness, will to speak.

Not having interest in looks; not caring how to dress and beautify hair. No interest in showing to the world the best version of herself through make up & accessories.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

I was afraid of it first. Then I met a really wonderful girl and now it seems cool. Damn, I met her on this site only. Hence this site is amazing and really special for me.

TDDMS · Answer

If she changes her religion as fast as she changes her underwear. . . Friday she's a Muslim, Saturday a Jew, Sunday a Catholic and the rest of the week she's a theocratic atheist that politically identifies as a libertarian-communist with a smidge of international lesbianism on top.

lightbulb27 · Answer

attitude, tattooes, piercings, too aggressive, signs of meds/drugs.

RolandCuthbert · Answer

When a woman is needlessly mean to folks who are just doing their jobs, like waiters/waitresses, cab drivers, etc.

Belgie · Answer

Scared is the wrong word I think. Guys have many reasons to avoid dating someone. Fear is almost never in play.

Creampiekarl420 · Answer

An immediate connection like we just met and click together perfectly like my heart beats really fast and I have a boner whenever I’m around them or think about them im not ready for marriage and dating does suck for the most part but to be honest I’ve met some really great women I guess I have a fear of commitment

DarkWinterNights · Answer

What a miserable experience dating is. A relationship is one thing, but actually getting their is exhausting.

laurieluvsit · Answer

Guys: Shy, timid, boring, conceded Girls: bitchy, butchy, needy

Just4ThisNow2 · Answer

You know that thing when you start receiving a bunch of phone calls with heavy breathing heard over loud Swedish music only to find half-eaten shrimp littered from the trunk of your car to your door step as if a little fisherman gnome was hungry while leaving a trail so he could find his way back for more? Yeah, that might scare me off.

Nigjt · Answer

A Woman who is seeking the attention if another Man in any kind of away.  always wanting to be around her family more then me. Having other's around an not spending alone time with me. God Bless

sheikalana · Answer

Not wanting the same things for the future and wasting my time.

menina · Answer

I've never dated anyone but I can tell that jealousy and control would scare me.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

When he talks about his ex a lot... big red flag there, that he isn't over her.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Nothing much. Apart from typical reasons to not like a person such as opposite views to mine.

Anonymous · Answer

Promiscuity. Anyone who think it’s ok to speak to their ex’s or remain friends with them. Girls who think oral and anal doesn’t add to their body count. Alcoholism or anyone who needs a drink to have fun. Cigarette/weed/drug addiction. Extreme opinions in politics. Anyone without an open mind who can’t see from all perspectives in some form.

one1wild00 · Answer

If the gal uses drugs, smokes, drinks more than once or twice a year, has a criminal past can't have or doesn't want kids. All are immediate deal breakers.

HopefulGuy94 · Answer

I have never dated someone before and have really no idea about it.

Ghostluck · Answer

Women who have brightly colored hair dyes. Women who act like they are tough guys, women who start going off on political rants, politically correct women. Women who believe in cultural appropriation. I will instantly stop communicating right then and there.

ElvenMr · Answer

When she comes to conclusions too quick about anything without talking to me about it first to understand what is really going on.. so in short: ignorance

You know besides the usual things like she is way too rude with everyone, on the phone too much while on a date, smokes too much, etc..

2facedfa1ry · Answer

clinginess, possessiveness, trying get serious too fast

IsoUser · Answer

To be perfectly honest I think clingness. YOU should also know that I am a former scout Sniper and spent 8 years in Iraq for 4 and Afghanistan for 4 as a PJ

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

When a woman/ girl gets sarcastic with me that scares me off

bowenw · Answer

Someone that doesn't stop talking about themselves.

Juxtapose · Answer

Insincerity. I am autistic and I need people to be direct with me or we're not going to get anywhere.

TheLoneTerran · Answer

If she chose me, then that shows she has seriously poor taste. And I can't be with someone that kind of issue!

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

Them getting to know me as a person.  I prefer to live behind a carefully constructed image, a screen of sorts - so when they try to find the human being underneath, I usually tend to withdraw.

sassyredhead · Answer

Too sexually forward and not polite to wait staff or people around them.

PeterLegg91 · Answer

When women find out I can't work due mental Health, I'm signed off by professionals and women either block me or stop talking to me completely 😭

Anonymous · Answer

People who blame others for any of their problems. Shows a lack of awareness and wisdom.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

More like deal breakers for me: Wanting sex on the first date if we're basically strangers. Mental illness.  Always on the phone Entitlement Lazy

Wise4myage · Answer

Girls who would spend more time on their phones, rather than talking to me.

serious · Answer

Scares? Well, never dated in my life and never wish to do that also so I won't say I am scared because I never tried it.

ChrisOfTheAlienRace · Answer

Is sbe cool? Can she hand! e me showing up after 3 jugs of rum and. chocolate milk? an I eat ber out

Paul09 · Answer

When the woman doesn't show interest in getting to know me. Feels so one sided. I hate that.

Passing_by · Answer

My trust issues and cynicism are enough to scare me.

Guardian45 · Answer

Erratic behavior. Especially when stories don't jive.

Adronicus · Answer

Insecurity, history of bad decisions, bad family relations, std's, bad grooming, no eye contact, rigid if touched, deception, games.

Anonymous · Answer

If she's willing to jump in bed on the first date... or the next few. Also if she's had lots of sex partners and I find out about it.

Exterminatore · Answer

If I find out she’s a cannibal I loose interest pretty quick.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Always one thing... Someone is taking it more seriously than the other...

SignedAutographs · Answer

The fact that I'm old (er) and that women are going to want to start having kids, and getting married at our age

lofii · Answer

When she's says she's a liberal, feminist, or lgbtq ally

Anonymous · Answer

Racist girl, closer minded, refusing to give blowjobs, cheating, talking with her ex still.

ShaTTeredMasterpeace · Answer

Wanting to automatically jump to sex and intimacy.

dolemite89 · Answer

single mom, shitty personality, mind games, entitled, drinks too much, smokes cigarettes (weed is chill), manipulative, tries to make “rules” about dating/sleeping with her.

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

The games people play.

Anonymous · Answer

Greedy women. Women who were with multiple men

dustybiker · Answer

Signs of controlling nature. I’m out.

Esperanto · Answer

A girl that uses the words Toxic Masculinity or any other feminist behavior.

What scares you off when dating?

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What scares you about dating?

What scares you off when dating?

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What scares you about dating?

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