So this woman I started dating found out I only make 30k a yr. And broke up with me. Then she found out from a mutual friend.. (cont. In descrip.)?

[Anonymous]

That even though I only make 30k a yr. I have a just over 1 million net worth.
Now she wants to give "us" another chance. Should I take her back?

Updates

+1 y

I just want to explain better because I'm not calling her a gold digger.
I inherited about 700k of what I have. So i'm no financial expert by any means.. But I was raised to save for a rainy day and invest. So I've been fortunate enough to increase it to where I am now. I know 30k isn't even a avg. salary. But I love what I do, I'm happy. I can totally understand a woman feeling like a guy who makes under an avg. Income to be a risk. So I don't know if she feels safe now. Or has other motives.

[razelove]

Fuck no. If her only interest in you is materialistic, let her suck someone else off. Your friend is trying to butt-fuck you on that one.

I figure it's ok to view wealth in a relationship as a bonus. Like having a big dick, or strong thighs. Unless you hooked up on a sugar daddy site, it's something you find out later on anyway.

She wants to establish a common law marriage, get your social, something. I mean, I couldn't tell you how much my last girlfriend made and she was buying me meals and presents constantly. There's no reason to dig into that besides only seeing a person as a means to an end.

If you want that, you could do better.

[Drumlin2001]

Personally I wouldn't, she seems pretty opaque about being motivated by money. But it's your life.

[Marushka]

If she loved you, she'd not have dumped you for making too little money. Don't take her back

[mVCyberduVm]

I agree, people like that are not worth the effort! Find someone that will like you for you.

[Asker]

Good a woman's perspective! I tend to agree with you. But I know women say they want security. But i've always been the mind that life doesn't come with guarantees. I think i'm in a good financial position but that could always change. I remember my grandpa once saying you rise and fall together. If a women loves you she'll live with you in a tent if it comes to it.

[Marushka]

Security is important but a woman is responsible for her own security. As long as you can pay for yourself and live comfortably who even cares how much you make exactly. Did she expect you to be the breadwinner or something? Also did she have a high paying job herself? If money is an issue for some reason there's also always the possibility to discuss things and see if there's a way to earn more money for either partner somehow.

[Asker]

Well I can't KNOW for certain. I mean she learned what I did for a living. It's not a prestigious job or one that has a lot of upward mobility, but I've done it for 20+ years.. Unlike hers which is pretty avg. I would call mine a "job" though and hers a "career" if you know what I mean.
This what I'm driving at she has a good job and makes good money but no real savings. I have decent job (nothing to brag about) but I have a revenue stream from my investments that when you figure my investments and my income from my job before taxes I'm making close to a 100k a year while she's probably making in the ballpark of about 50k
I just always re-invest the money that comes from my investments because as I said I was raised this way. I can live OK enough off my 30k. I'm not a materialistic person at all. I will dip into my nest egg every now and then if a big expenditure comes up.

[Marushka]

You're good with money and happy with what you do and able to save up. She just sounds very materialistic even if she might not be a gold digger. Maybe she was worried she'd carry the majority of expanses but she still chose to leave instead of talking about such worries. She clearly showed she's more interested in your finances and possibly your social status if she ties it to money (and I have the strong feeling she does) than you as a person for whatever reason in the end.

[Asker]

She doesn't seem materialistic on the surface. I mean she likes to look nice. Drives a car that's 3 years. Old. Owns a modest house (obviously I don't know how much equity she has in it).
So nothing really stands out that would suggest she's a "gold digger". Or it would be easy to move on.
Let me ask you this do you think it would be wrong to give her a second chance just to try to get a better understanding of how she is? I mean I kind of feel that's wrong to date someone if you don't have an intention of giving it a full effort.

[Marushka]

Try having a serious talk before making any decisions about taking her back about her motives but the question is if you'll get the truth.

Also ask yourself. Even if you got back together. Would she stay if you somehow lost your inheritance? The way she acted I'd assume no. She'd drop you. Do you think it's worth being with a person who'd drop you if you financially fell on hard times?

You do you but for me her behaviour would be a deal breaker as I'd not see in her a reliable partner who'd stay with me in good and bad times.

[Asker]

You might be right. My only response to that is you never FULLY know with anyone.
I tend to agree with you on this though. I don't think I will date her again.
Thanks for your advice.

[jennifer_bloom]

It’s your choice but a woman who is desperate for money is more likely to have anger issues.

[OlderAndWiser]

Are you content to have a partner who is only wth you because of your money? Or do you want a partner who wants YOU?

[Asker]

Of course I want her to be with me for me, not my money. But that's the thing there's a line between wanting a guy who can provide a comfortable living and one that can just be a meal ticket. A million dollars may SEEM like a lot. But if one of us got seriously ill a million can be decimated fairly quickly. This is why I've never understood women that say a guy has to have "x" amount, or has to make "x" amount.

[schittywok]

I smell bullshit all around. Probably why she does too. So you's got the funds, but she has no fucking clue. Which on your part is good. To keep it from her. But you are still a lacker obviously. No health problems I surmise. So, what is the conundrum here?

[ChrisWaters]

She sounds like she only cares about your money.
Be careful with that one.

[Asker]

That's my quandry. I don't know for certain.

[ChrisWaters]

Your mutual friend shouldn't be talking about your bank balance to people.
In the future you should keep your savings a secret. It doesn't benefit you in any way for anyone else to know that.
Money just attracts people looking for money.

[ChrisWaters]

Or the value of your assets, sorry.
Either way if you want people to love you for you, it's probably a bad sign if they're assessing your net worth to figure out your value to them.

[Asker]

You're right. I don't think my friend gave her an actual figure though. Because he only knows my net worth is over a million because when I did first (on paper) hit a million I kind of celebrated. I mean I never thought that I could say that and it be real. But my friends all give me undue credit for my financial situation. Because I do take an interest in investing. They think I know more than I do. I wouldn't advertise this otherwise. This is why I'm anon here. I have talked investments an whatnot with my friends so maybe a couple things stuck. You are very right. Advertising Financials is foolish.
I'm just trying to figure her out. Don't know if she feels safer knowing I have a nest egg. Or if she has other motives. Because the reality is I'm still the same thrifty person I've always been. And that's also a concern of mine. If she really is interested in me she has to accept that part. I'm not saying she has to be as thrifty as me. But long lasting relationships only work if people have similar viewpoints.
Thanks for listening.

[Asker]

You're right about the assessing net worth comment. But we both know on some level women do it. It's kind of inevitable especially as you get older. Because people are less likely to be on equal footing as in their early 20's. As you get older you have baggage.

[ChrisWaters]

Just remember that she broke up with you when she thought there was no money in this for her.
Now that she knows there's a jackpot there, it's no longer "Your nest egg" that she's impressed with.
She sees you as an investment, and that's HER nest egg for after you pass away.

[ChrisWaters]

Your thriftiness is gonna serve her well because there will be a lot of money there to either split in the divorce, or she gets it all if you die.

[TheLoneTerran]

Fuck no. Obviously only coming back for your wealth. She's just going to get you to spend a bunch and then scarper off with half of whats left. Have some self respect man. You don't need her.

[MTC29]

She came back because of the $$$, so fuck her brains out and don't give her a cent or spend so much as a dollar on her.

[MCheetah]

Treat that gold-digging b*tch like the trash she is and leave her on the curb.

[Avicenna]

Hell no. She’s already shown her true colors. You’d have to be a complete idiot to take her back

[Jay3344]

No, she’s just looking for the money. Unless she’s something you can’t find anywhere else, and be honest about that, then look elsewhere.

[Friendlybro79]

I think you'll be better off finding someone who likes you for you and not your net worth.

[mVCyberduVm]

She is not worth the effort! Find someone to appreciate you.

[Anonymous]

Fuck her brains out and give her $50 and dump her ass.

[bamesjond0069]

Fuck her again if you want but id just dump her.

[slatyb]

I wouldn't.