Is this a red flag?

Question

I met this wonderful guy online and through mutual friends, and have been dating him for almost a month now, we’ve been on 4 dates, not a lot.
Anyways, I am currently travelling the country with my family, and had him message me saying that “he felt hurt, and needed to talk”.
On a side note, i should mention that when I travel, I use tinder to meet local people and ask where the best spots are in town. I don’t use it for dating, but just as a means to connect with people (platonically).

When I asked him what was wrong, he said he noticed I was on tinder the other day. And that he felt hurt. I called him and explained the situation. In which he understood. He also is a bit clingy (when we are together). Is this a red flag?

I haven’t had a guy treat me this well in a long time too by the way.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

So there's 2 separate things here, which are you questioning specifically, or both? lol The Tinder, most people aren't on it for platonic reasons, and even if they are, people seeing you aren't going to assume that at first (think if it was reversed, you wouldn't assume that either right?). As far as "clingy", everyone's different and moves at different speeds with dating and relationships. So what's "normal" to him say, maybe is "clingy" to you? So that's just something you have to watch and TALK about if you feel it's getting too much for you. But everything has been "wonderful" and "great", so don't look for things that aren't (if they're not there). ie don't sabotage this by "digging up" negatives.

UniquelyBasic · Accepted Answer

Well you were using tinder. What else is he supposed to think when you're using tinder? He told you he was upset about it and you told him the truth (hopefully) and he believed you. I dont see the issue.

mandyfire98 · Accepted Answer

The travelling and using tinder thing I personally wouldn't consider a red flag because to be fair we all know what the purpose of tinder is. It's not for finding fellow book club members. So that one I could see him being alerted. However it would personally be red flags for me if he was real clingy and needy just because I don't like clingy and needy men. Huge turnoff. It's all personal taste though.

Daniela1982 · Accepted Answer

Sounds like one of those possessive type personalities. You know, the kind that say if I can't have you no one will. They are the type to also turn abusive.

sheikalana · Answer

I don't see it as a red flag. Is a normal reaction from someone who cares for you and loves you. If I see my partner on a dating app I would want to know why tf is he using it.