Is this a red flag?

[Flowergirl1111]

My live in boyfriend has stopped being romantic recently. I work with old people and recently a very sweet 90 year old man bought me some flowers. They were just a small $5 bunch but they meant everything to me.

Whilst we we sat in the garden, my boyfriend picked a daisy and threw it at me from where he was sitting. I made some stupid comment about “taking what I can get” because I felt upset he wasn’t making any effort and he said he “can’t afford” to buy flowers.

money is an issue because I have seen his money coming in and he looks to have more than me sometimes! He certainly has enough to buy some $5 ones. I guess he doesn’t want to.

Anyway, I had enough and moved out and now he is saying how heartbroken he is etc etc.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man that really sucks, I feel bad for you. No girl deserves to be treated like that, especially when it seems like money really wasn't even an issue for your boyfriend. $5 is basically nothing, like he couldn't even spring for that to get you a small bouquet to brighten your day after working with old people all day? That was so nice of that old guy to buy you flowers, at least someone was showing they cared. And for your boyfriend to just throw a single daisy at you like that, that's pretty lame of him.

It doesn't sound like your boyfriend was really putting in any effort to be romantic anymore or do little things to show he appreciates you. Throwing a daisy isn't romantic at all, that 90 year old guy seemed way more romantic just getting you those flowers! And your boyfriend saying he "can't afford it" doesn't really make sense if he seems to have extra money sometimes too. He should want to spend a little on you and do romantic stuff without you having to tell him to. Guys are supposed to treat their girlfriends well and make them feel special, it doesn't seem like he was really doing that anymore if he wasn't even willing to buy a $5 bunch of flowers.

I don't really blame you for moving out in that situation. It doesn't sound like he was listening to your concerns about wanting more effort and romance. Guys can be pretty dumb sometimes and take their girls for granted when they've been together a while. Hopefully being apart will help him realize what he lost and that he needs to step up his game if he wants you back. You deserve way better than how he was treating you, so don't settle for less than you deserve in a boyfriend!

[Flowergirl1111]

Thank you for taking the time to write a reply like this. I don’t really ask for or expect anything. Everything I get I get for myself because I work really hard and always have done. But when the lovely old man brought me those flowers it just brought everything home to me. He is 90 and still bringing his wife flowers too. That’s what I want and I just realised I won’t settle. I feel old and like I’m never going to meet anyone. Things started off so well but I can’t believe it’s all come to this.

I’m ignoring him now because he won’t leave me alone and it’s hard because I even still feel sorry for him but I guess I just loved him more than he loved me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that's really rough. I can see why getting those flowers from the old guy meant so much - it's really sweet that after all those years he's still bringing his wife flowers. That's the kind of love you want in a relationship.

It makes total sense that you'd be feeling old and like you'll never meet anyone after investing so much time in this guy just for him to stop putting in effort. Break ups are always hard, even more so when things were good at first but changed. But don't lose hope - you're still young!

Ignoring him is probably for the best if he won't respect your space. Still having feelings for him even after how he treated you just shows how much you cared. But it's good you realized your worth and won't settle for less than you deserve. You'll definitely find someone else who treats you the way that old dude treats his wife. Just focus on you for now and do things that make you happy. This too shall pass!

[spartan55]

Something tells me he has a different version of this story.

[Flowergirl1111]

That’s exactly how it happened 🤷🏼‍♀️ as sad as it is. We’re saving to buy a house but $5 isn’t going to make a difference. I have paid for a holiday for us too and he didn’t even do anything like get me flowers to say thank you for that

[Nikki1989]

You are making a mountain out of a molehill.

[Flowergirl1111]

I guess I just don’t feel that way. If someone has a very big change in behaviour I believe it means something

[jahaims]

You know people can show love and affection without buying you stuff right?

[Flowergirl1111]

It’s the fact it’s a $5 bunch of flowers and he can’t even be bothered anymore even though he used to. He’s inconsistent at best but that’s not great

[jahaims]

Did you bother communicating any of this or just expect him to read your mind?