Why do average not very attractive girls play hard to get?

[Anonymous]

when they play hard to get I find it quite funny like are they serious? I’ve been blessed with good looks and more attractive then they are, I’m not trying to be rude to the girls but I’m confused why they would play that card? Especially with girls on tinder when they want something serious and do it, it’s like they should be lucky someone like me is willing to give them a go.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I consider myself to be an average girl,

and I am quite hard to get.

My averageness is caused by me breaking my nose at about 12, I’d easily be 9/10 without that accident and I am still attractive but on the lower side.

In my family everyone is very attractive, starting from my grandparents, that were quite popular and hot in their prime, my parents are also blessed with genes and my brother has been the one of the hottest guys in town. I am used to being around hot people and I am hot myself.

Not that hot though, I am the least hottest one in my fam I think.

I’ve always acted hard to get ever since my school days, the most popular guys in school always tried to get my attention, without success, probably they were just curious why was I the only girl in school that didn’t like them.

The reason I acted hard to get is that me breaking my nose taught me many things, and because I wasn’t the prettiest girl in the room anymore, I started studying and getting into human psychology more. I was always thinking their interest to me was caused bu me being the only attractive girl in school who didn’t pay any attention to them, and I wished it to be this way, unless they did something spectacular that would be worth paying attention.

In my university and after university period, I also acted hard to get, because I believed a man worth having will do his best to get me.

Many guys have tried but I was such a tough nut they gave up or I rejected them and I always wanted them to keep chasing even after rejection which might be a but stupid thing.

Then I met my boyfriend who was the hottest guy I’ve ever met while traveling, he tried so hard to get my attention, he was my first boyfriend and he did everything he could and couldn’t do just to be by my side, I appreciated his efforts and slowly found him to be trustworthy enough to open up to.

However, when we moved in together, I had the final obstacle to overcome, I was afraid of having sex, I had him sleep by my side for a month without having sex and that was si hard for him finally I found a way to relax myself and make love to him but that one month made me think he’s even better than I thought, he wanted me so hard he waited me for this long and was patient and never went beyond my boundaries. I’ve been with him for 3 years and I am in love with that man.

Playing hard to get proved to be good for me because If I didn’t play hard to get I’d not realize how hard someone wants to be with me and I wouldn’t get the guy who’s willing to risk everything and do anything just for my love. And to be honest, I think he’s even more attractive than I am, I rate myself as 7/10 and he’s easily 9/10.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

And most importantly while my broken nose lowers my rate of attractiveness, I know what I look like genetically, what I was like before breaking nose and I know the guy I’ll marry will be lucky not just because of my love and personality but also because I’ll have highly attractive and competitive offsprings thanks to my genetics.

[Asker]

It worked out well for you then 😊 I didn’t look at it like that from a girls perspective playing hard to get to realise how hard someone wants to be with you. I thought it was just a game they like to play. I have this one girl that does it to only me, makes it hard for me to talk to her or approach her, but makes it easy for others to talk to her and she tries to make me jealous. I guess she is disappointed I’m not trying hard enough to win her over but I feel like I am. I feel like also that’s confusing when a girl rejects you but you want the guy to keep trying? Why do that? Because when a girl says no you think she means no.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I understand why you are confused…

Yes, some girls need to act hard to get, imagine you are a girl and you are at a party with 30 men around. (That’s my real life experience from the last birthday party I was at)25 out of this 30 men roam around you like hungry animals, they try to dance with you one by one, they try to be close to you, they give you roses, take pictures to you and just try to please you any way they can. Yes, you are flattered and you are pleased but you can’t give yourself to all of them, right? You should choose and what can help you choose? Which one stays the longest, even though they see you are not giving yourself to them, which one is willing to be patient, which one wants you hard enough to try everything they can so they can get you. Which one “fights” really hard for you.

With my boyfriend, at the dating stage, I had loads of guys chasing me, one of them had an EX who was former Miss Thailand. He pursued me yeah, but not hard enough as my boyfriend.

Yes, I’d like to say NO means NO and it always means no.

However, my NO (unless you are a creep) means “try harder”, “prove me why should I change NO into yes”, prove me you want me hard enough to be patient and not stop at the very first obstacle.

But that might just be me, because I need time to trust someone and I develop trust through this, it’s not a game I play, it’s just something I am and I can’t do it the other way.

So maybe, that girl also wants you to try harder, not give up, if she goes out of her way to make you jealous, it seems to me that she has at least slight interest to you. Those guys he’s friendly with might just be guys who she doesn’t find attractive enough, you only play hard to get with potential partners, with everyone else you can be friendly cause you don’t care about them enough to give their interest a “test”.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

No always means No, but I believe when you show a girl how much you like her, when you try your best, it’s impossible not to win her over.

My boyfriend went All-In (like tried his best) in this relationship and here I am madly in love with him.

May I ask you if you think she’s not attractive enough and you think she should be grateful you pay her an attention, then why are you interested in her?

[Asker]

The guys she tries to make me jealous with aren’t even decent looking guys but to me her trying to make me jealous makes me feel like she isn’t interested but when I back away and don’t give her any attention she looks upset. Is that because her playing hard to get didn’t work on me and I didn’t chase her? I’m interested in this girl because I like her personality, we have so much chemistry and when I’m with her it makes me feel good and I can be my best version of myself that I don’t find with any girls yet.

[jennifer_bloom]

You don’t get it, the longer you delay dating, the deeper your love and desire for the person grows - Like a mutual fund investment - if you wait longer to withdraw money - you collect more in royalty privileges - think of that as an allegory for your emotional communion.

[MCheetah]

Because average, not very attractive girls never consider themselves to be "not very attractive."

[missmels]

Average to you is a 10 to someone else.
You thinking you’re blessed with good looks, you could be a 5 at best to someone else. It’s all personal taste. If you’re that handsome and not having them fall at your feet then maybe you need to realize you may not be “all that” or your personality sucks. Playing hard to get is just someone playing the dating game and/or valuing themselves. So my advice - get over yourself. If you want easy, I’m sure easy will find you…eventually.

[Asker]

I’m basing it on the girls I’ve dated in the past to the girls now. The girls I've dated are extremely hot compared to the girls I’m talking about. I’m not a desperate guy, I’ve got a good personality and I’ve got a lot of good qualities. I’m just saying is that maybe the girls are the ones that are stuck up and should get over themselves.

[missmels]

Reread what I said. Especially the first 2 sentences. You’re biased no matter what and clearly full of yourself to think that everyone should “recognize” how “amazing” you are. Yes, there could be other people just as stuck up as you. But I don’t know why you care about them then. Just keep swiping on the apps, bro