Who is more shallow: men or women?

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1 mo

I'd say men are more shallow.

Answer 1

Jabberjaw

Xper 5

I was about to say physically men are, and women more shallow in other ways. But a lot of girls curb guys simply for being born too short or bald. So I'm gonna say women lol

The shallow side of men is pretty much exclusively related to a girls looks and it's usually just the face or her weight. Weight she has control over, but her face not much she can do.

Shallow side of women is related to a guy's face, weight, height, style, sound of his voice, his friends, his job, how much money he makes, whether or not he went to college and more lol. Girls are more shallow

Girls are just more likely to overlook certain shortcomings if you have enough of the other stuff. While guys are a bit more strict usually on the few things they're shallow on.

React

shaysh87

1 mo
first anything close to a valid answer on here.
shaysh87

1 mo
[Girls are just more likely to overlook certain shortcomings if you have enough of the other stuff. While guys are a bit more strict usually on the few things they're shallow on]

This is proof that men are more shallow. If he cannot overlook certain things
shaysh87

1 mo
Women are better at overlooking negative attributes than men. Honestly speaking.
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Jabberjaw

1 mo
I disagree. We just are in alignment with what we say we value and women have trouble accepting that.

While girls will say one thing and act differently. I wouldn't say guys cannot, it's that they will not, because why would we?

I think girls have trouble understanding that guys and girls are attracted to different things and that traits you care about we don't as men and vice versa. It just feels too shallow to girls because they don't feel the same way on what's attractive
Jabberjaw

1 mo
100% agree they're better at overlooking negative traits, that said lol

Women have a MUCH more vast sense of what's considered a negative to begin with and view some things as settling when it's really not
shaysh87

1 mo
do you see how many men on here shit on older women, calling them undatable?

do you see women on here shitting on poor men? NO. It simply doesn't happen.

A man's sex appeal decreases with age too. His ability to score young women decreases with age too. But we see more younger women open to dating unattractive old men compared to young men dating older women.

And no, none of these old guys are billionaires or are rich as hell. They're just average joes.
shaysh87

1 mo
I asked this question because I have seen overwhelming amounts of bullying of older women on not only this website but also on youtube. why is there such a hatred of older women?

why is there not a hatred of older men? why is there not a hatred of poor men?
Jabberjaw

1 mo
Like I've had girls tell me they wouldn't date a guy because "look at his face", but turned around to tell me I'm shallow because when SHE asked me if I would date a fat chick I honestly said no.

So I'm shallow for being honest about a basic standard I have that is completely within a girls control, but she's not shallow for judging a guy on something he can't control.

That's an example of why I say girls are more shallow overall. Like would she overlook his face if he had money and a bunch of other positive traits? Possibly. But she'd also feel like she's settling for a man and that he needs to compensate in a way that benefits her to even consider. Like that's pretty fuckin shallow lol

at least with a guy he's just like. "Not for me. Sorry nothing you can really do". He doesn't expect her to jump through hoops for the prize of sucking his dick
shaysh87

1 mo
1 or 2 girls that you've met does not represent the vast majority of women.
shaysh87

1 mo
A man's sex appeal decreases with age too. His ability to score young women decreases with age too. But we see more younger women open to dating unattractive old men compared to young men dating unattractive older women.

And no, none of these old guys are billionaires or are rich as hell. They're just average joes.
shaysh87

1 mo
[That's an example of why I say girls are more shallow overall. Like would she overlook his face if he had money and a bunch of other positive traits? Possibly. But she'd also feel like she's settling for a man and that he needs to compensate in a way that benefits her to even consider. Like that's pretty fuckin shallow lol]

Actually I have seen plenty of old men WITHOUT MONEY who date significantly younger women.
Jabberjaw

1 mo
I'm pretty new to the site so I can't speak to online norms here. But out about in real life I see plenty of girls judging guys based on income/height/face/weight and so on.

Speaking to what I've observed in life not what's online. I don't really take that seriously because a guy could post a picture of a hot model and there will be 10% of guys that say "fake tits. Would not bang" or "look at that freckle. PASS!". When really it's not like they're fucking to begin with lmao

I will say about guys talking about older women. a lot is unfounded but some is founded. Not because of their physicality but a lot of attitudes older women tend to have.

Like I date younger and older. Always have. Oldest I think was 45-47 I forget now. She was the rare exception for me because she didn't carry a lot of excess baggage that a lot of women have that makes them undatable for guys
Jabberjaw

1 mo
I'm gonna wait a few min for you to respond. We're firing off too quick lol. Gonna wait so it's more concise
shaysh87

1 mo
women are more likely to overlook a man's physical appearance if he has a nice personality. For example , if a man ugly but he is funny, he would still be able to get a woman. HOWEVER if a woman was ugly but she is funny, she would not be able to get any man.
shaysh87

1 mo
I have observed wayy too many men over the years talking crap about older women via the internet. Even in real life, older men in their 40s tell me they wouldn't date anyone over the age of 35.

YET, OLDER WOMEN are still more likely to date men around their own age.

And no, these older guys aren't rich at all. They're normal people like me and you.

doesn't this tell you something?
Jabberjaw

1 mo
Tells me what men find attractive is more connected to age, while the things women find attractive are not.

Like me as a man. I'm not attracted to a girl for being funny. I'm just not. I do not care if she is funny. If she is that's a nice bonus, but I don't need it.

For a girl she might not like a guy because he's too serious and she NEEDS him to have a sense of humor and able to make her laugh.

Guys don't need girls to make them laugh nor care to find a woman that does. It's a bonus but not a man thing. Just a difference in what we're attracted to. I've had exactly 1 girlfriend who was genuinely funny and could make me laugh. Was a huge bonus and pleasant surprise. But she also had the important kind/caring/genuine/cute/not argumentative. She had things guys in general are attracted to.

Like realistically a guy will substitute a girl who is hotter for a girl who is less hot but has the other positive traits I mentioned. We just have a different criteria.

I don't disagree that a lot of older men say this. I'm just saying it's not inherently shallow to not want to date older women if you don't find them attractive
shaysh87

1 mo
but the reality is, there is no hate on poor men nor unattractive older men on the internet. BUT THERE IS IMMENSE HATE on older women. There is immense hate on fat women too.

nothing you've said addressed this point.
shaysh87

1 mo
[I don't disagree that a lot of older men say this. I'm just saying it's not inherently shallow to not want to date older women if you don't find them attractive]

but there are more women who would date an unattractive older man who is not rich than it is for a man to date an unattractive older woman.

you're desperately trying to evade the point here.
shaysh87

1 mo
[Guys don't need girls to make them laugh nor care to find a woman that does. It's a bonus but not a man thing. Just a difference in what we're attracted to. I've had exactly 1 girlfriend who was genuinely funny and could make me laugh. Was a huge bonus and pleasant surprise. But she also had the important kind/caring/genuine/cute/not argumentative. She had things guys in general are attracted to.]

thats NOT THE TOPIC being discussed. We aren't talking about different personality attributes that men or women are looking for. We are talking about who is more into things other than personality.
Jabberjaw

1 mo
Lol I'm not avoiding. I'm saying there's a separation between character traits men and women are attracted to and more superficial things like looks/money/status

I think it's harder for guys to overlook the looks thing because guys don't care about your money or status, so we have fewer things in general that are superficial. Because we only have that it is more strict, but is amended a bit if the female has attractive personality traits that men care about

While girls list of superficial items are more broad and all of them carry different weights of value. So as long as you're adding something else she cares about that spreads the weight more evenly in an acceptable manner.

Like genuinely the only thing a girl can't control is unattractive face outside of surgery. Outside that she can make herself into a girl guys would want.

While a lot of guys will likely have to spend years overcoming shortcomings to do the same. There are more and bigger hurdles for guys.
shaysh87

1 mo
but the reality is, women are more likely to overlook man's unattractiveness if he has a good personality. This is why you see way more old men who aren't rich, dating women significantly younger than men dating unattractive older women who aren't rich.

do you see my point?
shaysh87

1 mo
An ugly guy can still get women if he is funny.

An ugly woman will not be able to get any man if she is ugly.
shaysh87

1 mo
you're constantly talking about women overlooking a man's ugliness due to money. The reality is 90% of men never ever hit the type of wealth or money that you're referring to.
crossdressingrihno

1 mo
Guys as a whole don't have high standards

Don't be fat and have at least have a tolerable face

When it comes down to it theirs a lot of men just care about having someone who can perform in bed and not puss them off every daz
Jabberjaw

1 mo
@crossdressingrihno yeah, I think the fact that our standards are few but a little more strict makes us less shallow because we accept so much more than women

While women have far more disqualifiers for men. Yes you will overlook some things, but you have so many things to disqualify on that at the end of the day still more shallow
Jabberjaw

1 mo
And I appreciate the respectable back and forth girly. I had to sleep and you rapidfire too many responses lol. I like to keep it down to one or two at a time not 3 plus. It's more manageable
shaysh87

1 mo
@Jabberjaw

I think its a fallacy that guys accept way more than women. The reason why guys complain about having it so hard in dating is because they're only open to dating women of a certain age. When you have guys in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s all flocking to date women in their 20s and early 30s, this creates immense competition amongst men. It also gives young women too many options. Young women dont have to settle. This is why men complain about getting rejected so much or why its so hard to find a date. Because there is simply not enough women in their 20s or early 30s to go around.

When you say that men are less picky to accepting women, they are only referring to accepting women of a certain subset. For example, men would date an average looking or even chubby 25-30 yr old but not a 40 yr old woman. Men ARE picky. Men rather stay single than date an older woman.
shaysh87

1 mo
@Jabberjaw

here's the thing I have noticed: Women don't demand a rich man. I've never seen a woman who insists that a man make six figures before she goes out with him. All a woman looks at is to make sure he doesn't work a minimum wage job. But all men insist on dating women 15-30 years younger.
shaysh87

1 mo
women are pickier when it comes to personality traits, compatibility, does he get along with my family? is he financially stable enough to start a family?,

There is a saying "Women fall in love with their ears. Men fall in love with their eyes".

Women fall in love due to how men make them feel. Men fall in love with what they see.
Jabberjaw

1 mo
Prefacing this. I'm not nitpicking, but fallacy means faulty logic and there is a list of logical fallacies. It's not just something you believe to be false. Like if I said 2+2=5 that's not a fallacy It's just wrong.

So there was no fallacy in what I said lol.

But to your point on men only wanting a subset of women. This is both true and untrue. Men are all attracted to girls in their 20s and some in the 30s, and the higher in age the less overall men find women attractive on average. Totally true

What I'm saying is that if you're getting the idea that most men in general ONLY are willing to date girls in their 20s based on a lot of dudes online I'm saying that's flawed because of the sample pool you are pulling from.

Statistically how many guys on this site for instance do you think really goes out like that? How many of them really have/had a dating life assuming they're not in a relationship?

I'd argue a good portion of the dudes on here are straight up celibates and don't even consistently go out to get women in the first place. So when we're talking about all these guys online. I'm saying that's not in line with SO MANY dudes out in the real world.

a lot of "problems" complained about online are only a problem online. If you go outside they're not actually a problem. I've lost count the number of times a guy complained to be about something he was convinced was a real issue that just wasn't when he actually went outside and tried.

Yes there is a pecking order in dating on both sides. The difference is for guys we're judged on a lot more, women are judged on few things in total. To say that because a lot of guys won't bend "enough" on the few standards they have that they are more shallow overall to me is flawed.

It's like saying that I'm shallow because I won't date a girl who was a felon, when a lot of girls would date a felon if he checks off enough boxes. Well no, that just matters a lot more to me than it does to most women lol
Jabberjaw

1 mo
Like guys don't really care about dating a girl that's too short or Too Tall, while girls care a lot. A lot of girls can't Overlook that even if the guy has a lot of good traits. Is she more shallow than all men? Or does she just care about different things?

Because most men can Overlook height, a lot of women will not
shaysh87

1 mo
[Yes there is a pecking order in dating on both sides. The difference is for guys we're judged on a lot more, women are judged on few things in total. To say that because a lot of guys won't bend "enough" on the few standards they have that they are more shallow overall to me is flawed.]

I think its less shallow for a man to be picky on things like personality traits , compatibility, does he get along with my family? does he have enough money to start a family, than for a man to be picky on things such as the woman I date must be of a certain age. she must have a nice body. I won't date anyone who looks less than an 8 out of 10.

Being less shallow means you can overlook certain things. And I think women are more likely to overlook certain things than men. As you have already stated "men are less able to overlook certain things than women"
shaysh87

1 mo
[Yes there is a pecking order in dating on both sides. The difference is for guys we're judged on a lot more, women are judged on few things in total. To say that because a lot of guys won't bend "enough" on the few standards they have that they are more shallow overall to me is flawed.]

I think its less shallow for a WOMAN*** to be picky on things like personality traits , compatibility, does he get along with my family? does he have enough money to start a family, than for a man to be picky on things such as the woman I date must be of a certain age. she must have a nice body. I won't date anyone who looks less than an 8 out of 10.

Being less shallow means you can overlook certain things. And I think women are more likely to overlook certain things than men. As you have already stated "men are less able to overlook certain things than women"
shaysh87

1 mo
en.wikipedia.org/.../Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships
Jabberjaw

1 mo
Yes you see more girls with less attractive guys because his personality. But what is also true is that you see way more guys getting turned down for not measuring up on superficial measures than the other way around.

Partly because men are the ones doing the pursuing and not women on average. So the opportunity for a girl to get turned down is less then it is for men but it does inevitably happen far more.

And also fair to say that on average girls don't date less attractive dudes with good personalities. Does it happen? For sure, it certainly happens more in the case of women dating less attractive man then the reverse of genders. But that actual outcome is rare in and of itself

In the majority of cases across both genders they will not date someone who is not attractive enough. And Sons girls have far more standards than guys do overall, girls are turning down a lot more guys than the other way around.

If you ask 100 guys have they ever been turned down and how many times? I guarantee you every guy would be able to say at least five plus.

Ask a hundred girls the same question and most of them would probably say once if that
shaysh87

1 mo
I think guys are more likely to not date someone who they deem as not attractive enough. Its time to stop contradicting yourself and face the truth
shaysh87

1 mo
Giys get turned down more because they are more desperate and only date women of a certain age. there's not enough young women to go around
shaysh87

1 mo
I have seen single dads in their 40s complain about being single and unable to find a girlfriend. But yet they also claim they dont want to date a woman in her 40s. But what kind young woman without baggage in her 20s or early 30s would be interested in an old unattractive man with kids? A woman around his age would be more likely to accept him but he doesn't want a woman his own age

This is why men get rejected so much. Do you really think a 25 yr old girl would go for a hot handsome 32 yr old man without kids or a 46 yr old aging man with kids?
Jabberjaw

1 mo
To be fair the age thing is more directly related to her ability to have kids if you wants them. So I wouldn't say age from that perspective is necessarily as superficial as we want to say it is

Now if he doesn't want kids or care about that so much, then okay it's superficial. But passed a certain age if you want kids it's legitimate it's not superficial at all
crossdressingrihno

1 mo
@shaysh87

If I'm being honest we don't even need this argument cuz you don't even understand men.

And how can you argue about a topic you don't understand right?

A lot of women THiNK they understand men but in all honesty they don't they really don't they get away with what they do because men just don't care as much that's it.

Men have only like four primary disqualifiers and that's it.

Unless of course there was like something in their life that like did something then there might be more but that's because of like life trauma so that doesn't really count.

Also it just sounds like you don't want to be the shallow sex that's what it sounds like to me.

Men do care about personality thing is we don't have a specific personality trait that a woman needs to have we just like you or we don't.

And sure we don't care as much about if our girlfriend gets along with their family, can you guess why that is?
It's because we don't give a s***. If our girlfriend proves to be more important to us than our family then we'll pick her over our family if our family proves to be more important than we'll pick our family. Men understand that family can be assholes and that the blood is thicker than water crap is just that crap in the end we're going to care about things because they're worth caring about and not because someone told us to care about them.
Jabberjaw

1 mo
@crossdressingrihno yeah, he's right on that point. I've told multiple girls that I don't care if my family likes them. But they care if their family likes me. Like it's a bonus if it's the case, but I don't really care at the end of the day

Personality-wise only care about her being kind, caring, genuine, playful, not a headache arguing about s bunch of bullshit, kinky (if we're to consider that a personality trait lol) or maybe sexually eager is a better way to put it
crossdressingrihno

1 mo
@shayjay87

Also we are very capable of overlooking a lot of things that we don't like like a ridiculous amount it's kind of disturbing actually.

You don't realize this probably but Men actually do overlook quite a bit. Also men are absolutely able to and do date very bland looking women. Put simply if they thought of sex doesn't gross us out and you have a good enough of a personality you can definitely make it in the dating world as a straight woman. Sure media and people online make it seem like that's not the case but that's only because the internet filters out a lot of things so there's like this bias on the internet that doesn't exist in the real life. Guys will say they'll only date like an 8 out of 10 or higher online but then they'll go around and their girlfriend is like a 5 out of 10 or maybe even a 4 out of 10 that is if they have a girlfriend because some of these actually most of these people who you meet online are probably going to be people who can't get a girlfriend.
shaysh87

1 mo
@Jabberjaw

Even SINGLE DADS want women who are 15-20 years younger. It has nothing to do with her ability to have kids.

There was even a research study that shows men tend to remarry women younger than their first wife after a divorce. Wanna see?
shaysh87

1 mo
@crossdressingrihno

Have you seen the hatred of older women over the internet? It is enormous and never ending. Thats why i asked this question
shaysh87

1 mo
@crossdressingrihno

Men would overlook a chubby looking 25 yr old but would ignore a skinny looking 45 yr old woman, including single dads.

Men aren't less picky than women. Its just that they are less picky when it comes to younger women but completely reject older women

I have literally seen 45 yr old single dads who say they absolutely would not date a woman of their own age and only date average looking women 15 -20 years younger
shaysh87

1 mo
It has nothing to do with fertility or a womans ability to have kids. It has completely to do with looks. Even single dads with kids want significantly younger women
crossdressingrihno

1 mo
"Have you seen the hatred of older women over the internet? It is enormous and never ending. Thats why i asked this question"
"Internet"
"Internet" Is so filterd and biased making an argument about IRL stuff using the internet as an example is just going to lead into a failed argument.
People don't say what they actually think and feel while online.
People post nudes online but would be horrified to show anyone their body in real life. This basic idea spans across the board where people less constrained to play pretend in their "ideal reality"
crossdressingrihno

1 mo
Everyone has their ideal reality and the internet is where a lot of people go to express it.

In my ideal reality I'd be scrawny brown hair nerd with glasses with 3 hot redheads and I'd have super strength and super intelligence with the ability to make whatever I want.
Despite this in reality I'm not that and I have been with more black women then white women despite the fact my preference is gingers.

Still I will admit I do fall into the internet trap a little bit
Jabberjaw

1 mo
You're not trying to understand where we're coming from
shaysh87

1 mo
@Jabberjaw

Because all i see is thay you're just making excuses. Infertility has nothing to do with it. Statistics and marriage data from second marriages for men with kids, show that these single dads tend to marry women significantly younger than their first wives
crossdressingrihno

1 mo
Are you talking to me?
shaysh87

1 mo
@Jabberjaw

I dont see divorced women remarrying men significantly richer than their ex husbands. There is no such record of that
crossdressingrihno

1 mo
No such record?
shaysh87

1 mo
@crossdressingrihno

Nope. Neither have i ever seen an older woman only insists she date men of a certain wealth. In fact older women are more open to dating old unattractive men than young women

Who is more shallow: men or women?

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