Is it normal to be scared of closeness?

[jennifer_bloom]

I avoid talking about my feelings and I think guys hate that cause I just refuse to show any interest most of the time.

[Waldoe]

Once you have been "betrayed", you become "Guarded" and keep your feeling hidden... betrayal can come at any time from anyone... Dad, Mom, Sister, Brother, Boyfriend, Best friend... employer... it is hard to be "open and trusting" again and scary...

[shortster]

Fairly common these days.

[horsenrhinounicorn]

Most men feel the same way about opening up to others. Smart people tend to take it to a much higher level, a smart person would typically over analyze predictable scenarios and outcomes before want to open up to others. Many smart people do not like to open up their thoughts, because when they open up their thoughts people start to ask questions about why and ask why don’t you just do what everyone else is doing. When a smart person opens up to someone who is not on the same level it is so draining to have to explain everything and it creates a feeling of why did I say anything since now I wasted all this time to explain when I could have been progressing. Smart people can have a harder time with relationships because more thought and time is put into making a decision and with many people, they are not patient enough to alloy one to give time for the decision. For females they do have men who are willing to consider them and allow a female to get back to them in a few days. Men on the he other hand have to be ready sometimes in a moments notice. It can also be challenging for one who has not dated for a significant amount of time to take that leap. Just take it one day at a time and spend the time getting to know them, trust takes time unless one has already known them for a good amount of time.

[AdithyaR]

My best friend does that too. It's a defense mechanism coming from trauma or self worth issues.
Generally it's either cause a person was manipulated into believing their feelings don't matter thus become reluctant to share it. Or they have trauma from the fact that people used their feelings against them. So to protect themselves from getting hurt, they close off from people.

I would advice trying to open up at least a little with at least one friend you can trust. It's important to build a good support system for mental health. Also seek therapy to process through what you feel.

[Crankor]

It does seem that's how it is most all the time. There are people who do like talking about that stuff cause yah it creates a more meaningful connection. Maybe it's related to more people not knowing how to handle their own stress and can't handle hearing about others more personal matters? Could be lots of things I suppose

[OldWorldOrder]

It's normal to be risk-averse.

Intimacy isn't really necessary for our immediate survival in this post-industrial age, and poses many more risks than rewards. It's only natural that somebody with their head on straight would do a risk-reward matrix and say, "intimacy is high risk and low reward. I think I'll make do without it."

[Rab1901]

Oh. I wouldn't say it's normal but I wouldn't say it's uncommon. From my understanding, it's usually because of the way one is brought up or experiences with romantic interests that have caused fear and anxiety.

[EyeKnowMeNahYou]

Yes because it is something that many are used to and for those who are used to it they are afraid of being hurt because someone that was close to them either betrayed their trust or broke their heart

[ChiTown33]

I think you can be conditioned to be that way. I wouldn't use the word "normal" because what's normal really? We're all a product of our life experiences.

[GatewayRealm]

That’s a Good and Natural Trait to Have to Trauma and or Betrayal.

Some people are Scared of silence and will say anything to not be in silence.

[exitseven]

It is normal especially if you have been betrayed in the past.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah, we do hate that.

I don't know if it's normal or not. But it's certainly common.

[bubblegunnn]

But u have actual feeling or na?

[Christian65]

I feel like most guys are like what you describe.

[collie22]

I get worried about falling in love

[AFretiredTXen]

Yes.