Why do guys seem like they get the rougher end of the deal in dating and flirting?

Question

A lot of the time on Facebook, ladies will post that they are single and want guys to feel free to hit them up, however most of the time if they do it ends up backfiring still, and they complain there's no good men left. I mean, what's the point anymore? Has dating come to that point?

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

Dating is a joke anymore, girls want men to make the first move, guys want girls to make the first move.

I can tell you I've had times I asked guys out who blew me off to hang with friends or play a online game... then he looks confused like, your the one who asked me out like you like me, so why not just bend over backwards for me and fit my schedule. That is what happens to me when I ask a girl out, she cancels, reschedules over and over and expects me to jump through all the hoops... why can't I do that too to you?

answer, because I'm not her and I have NEVER done that to you so you just lost me, good luck... then that jackass complains online there is no good girls out there, he wishes more would ask him out... I posted, don't any of you ask him out here is exactly what he did to me... the loser deserves to be single forever and ever and die alone.

Guys just have to be extra careful, anything they do if it is welcome is fine, if it is not and they get a warner, DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT CONTINUE hit the brakes, stop and end it. If I say NO, I mean NO... I don't mean, maybe if you can convince me. If I say no do not fucking ask me again. That is harassment and I will report you. Girls can often get away with harassment, that part is true.

Now I realize I'm way more friendly than most girls too, but just remember. If she is not interested, drop it... all the guys that don't ruin it for the rest. Cause soon as someone gets harassed by a guy, she assumes all the rest will do that too. It really makes us wonder why guys can't just accept no for an answer.

Even things like being in a bar or club, a guy will trap me in a corner as if to say I'm not letting you out until you say yes. Hold me hostage while he tries to convince me.

Many guys also seem to invest deeply into someone before ever asking, so when they do... and it doesn't work out, they can be devastated. Play the numbers game, don't worry about rejection... move on, rejection is normal and not a issue.

meetkitty123 · Accepted Answer

I can't imagine using Facebook as a dating tool and quite frankly any woman or man who says hit me up I would question their... dignity seriously.
And I don't see how men get the short end of the stick it really has nothing to do with gender dumb asses come in both sexes! Honestly I don't know what the heck is up with all the women bashing on this site!
Those men who are bashing women quite frankly I would never date them why because they're rude as hell.
Listen I've had some nasty dates I've had men treat me horribly I've had a gun put to my face. I had a husband who gambled off over 90,000 and put us in debt and we almost lost our home but that doesn't mean I go out there and call every single man every insult under the sun.
Men do not get the short end of the stick it doesn't mean they get the best end either there's just no such thing it's called life and shit happens.
I respect men and I believe there are good men out there that simply need to be found by the right person.
So what if you had one bad incident or 10 you brush it off you get up and you try again and perhaps a different method with a different approach. Another way to consider it if you got knocked down or if you got rejected you need to take it as a blessing because obviously that person was not meant for you and you are too good for them and your true match is out there somewhere waiting for you to find them.

NoUsernameSelected · Accepted Answer

Because it's reality.
You need to work to better yourself though - it is in no way, shape or form the fault of women. Don't even entertain that thought, it only leads you down a bad path. It's nature, nature is not fair, deal with it.

The problem with many men is that they don't value themselves and put women on a pedestal imagining that they are something that no human is, than being bitterly disappointed when they find out that indeed, that woman is indeed a human being and not your imagined version of perfection. Human beings will disrespect you and you need to learn to leave people in your life that do so and not be bitter about it.

In this new world that feminism created that destroyed the nuclear family women gave all the power to a few men on top. Women find only 20% of guys as above average looking and even fewer dating material because unlike men, they want even more than looks like status or financial security (Yes, I said don't blame women, which I stand by, blame feminism all you want though). Older societies saw lone young men as a threat and created that monogamous system to reign in their destructive power and tie them to family and country to make them work for society instead against. These days are over though. And I say this as a man: Thank god.

Always look at the positive: I'm not gonna sacrifice myself for a family and for my country. Fuck that - like I said, respect yourself, I do respect myself. I can go out follow my hobbies, go to the gym and have sex no strings attached. I'm not a number on some general's spreadsheet to throw against another state.

TLDR: Work on yourself. Have some self-respect. Don't blame women.

Reaper1985 · Accepted Answer

from person experience many girls I've meet claim to want a nice guy. but then end up with fuck/bad boys instead because of the thill and excitement. where as many the nice guys tend to be boring to girls since their typically average or below looking with an average or below job. however it's the nice guys who are more likely to settle down with a girl and help her support a family. rather then the fuck/bad boys who will likely dump her once they get sick of the drama.

so as many of the nice/average guys get over looked they start to loss confidence and tend to become less likely to date or marry over time.

Why do guys seem like they get the rougher end of the deal in dating and flirting?

also the internet and online dating gave both sides many more options to pick from outside of their local dating pool. since before it you had to travel to new places to meet other possible partners. so many couples would typically meet in middle school, high school or college and date for a number of years before settling down.

NathanDavis · Answer

if it seems so... it is because you want to think so

and if you decide to focus on the people that have bad experiences, then it is your choice to assume that everyone else is also having the same bad experiences

I don't have those bad experiences and those rough times, for example, but I will not be a reflection of all other guys... not even the reflection of other guys who are also NOT having bad experiences

focus on your OWN life instead and stop being worried about everyone else's experiences and lives, you only have to be responsible for one, which is your own, and the more you focus and work on yours. the better you will fare eventually

which is exactly what I did for years, and also exactly why I am at a better position and have been in a better positions for years as well

I spent 10 years of my life, every single day... working on myself and when I finally made it to a better point in my own life, then I have spent the next 16 years of my life, having a better time, it really pays off when you dedicate to it

Bob92220 · Answer

I disagree with you because I believe women have it harder than men when dating.
Women probably find it humiliating and embarrassing when a man pays for the dates and she can't even chip in.
Also, she has to accept all these gifts that men give her for no apparent reason. Probably, in the back of her mind, she remembers her Mom telling her not to accept these unsolicited gifts from men and that she needs to give those gifts back. So when she accepts all these gifts it causes her grief.
I'm sure she regrets it when a man takes her out to a nice dinner and she talks his right ear off telling him about all the drama going on in her life. She probably ends up realizing she revealed too much.
It's stressful juggling all these men that want to take her to nice restaurants. She has to make sure that these men don't cross paths.
Oh, not to mention, God forbid, if she calls the man by the wrong name!
On a side note, an attractive woman in my Physics class wasn't doing good on her exams. But she had a beautiful smile and flirted with the Professor. She got a B in the class. She told me she feels so humiliated doing what she did so she wouldn't flunk the class. I feel sorry for her.

JSmuve · Answer

It's because guys do get the rougher end. Most women have more options than they'd ever need. All they have to do is put up a profile on a dating app and wait a week; they'll have enough options to get them through half the year. Now, are they good options? Some probably aren't. But she's got them nonetheless. It's only her laziness in sifting through them all that's holding her back. Contrast that to most guys, and they can't get any matches. And the few that they might get won't go anywhere. So the odds that a woman can find a good man on dating apps is far greater than the odds that a guy can find a good woman.

Now, lots of people say that men should get off dating apps and meet people in person. Most women, while saying they do want to meet someone in person, aren't actually all that open. When they're not locked in their apartments, they're always in motion, head buried in their phone, earbuds in, completely oblivious to anyone and unwilling to stop to talk. How is a guy supposed to meet a woman when that's what's available to him? It's an uphill battle that's honestly, just fucking emotionally exhausting.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I think a lot is guys talk themselves and other guys into believing this, they then live it and accept it.

whereas if you look at your own life, requirements etc and where you live etc, then you soon find out it’s not really the case.

poor people date
fat people date
people with physical and mental impairment date
Even people in prison date.

it’s more down to individual attitude and not wanting to live your own life and push yourself.

it’s a fairly defeatist, Incel mindset.

citygirlxox · Answer

Old society views and ideas. From my understanding men were supposed to pay bills and women take care of the kids and home, we all have heard this. But with that being said there’s also happy wife =happy life which is used way too much. Men are raised to take care of a women hold the door open for her and never to do anything that upset her even if it’s at the expense of your own happiness. Women are supposed to be treated in such a way. So most men dont know how to communicate their feelings since they were taught to be emotionless and not to cry. While women take advantage of the fact that we can do whatever we want.

Novacane · Answer

Because sadly they do. I just think that men have so many expectations that they have to do just to get their attention. They have to make the first move, they have to pay for everything, they have to adjust to what the girl wants and needs and put their wants and needs last, also you need to accept women no matter how they come. And at the end of the day, you can do all that and they will still not take you seriously. If relationships it will always be the man's fault. So does it really benefit them? Sadly this is a field that most men will never win. Only like the top % of men get to flourish.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because their effort is sometimes higher. Like there are more guys on dating apps than women and guys are said to be the ones pursuing.
Besides that the biggest problem is that people generally have obtained idealistic expectations and standards because times are mostly over at least concerning where you could say that women aren´t visual, they have even more optioned and so they treat guys.
If everybody wants the best looking people chances that most stay single because they don´t come together.

ethanallen · Answer

Guys, stop dating women. If a woman wants to be with you, she will let you know. If she is worthwhile, she will pay her own freight. Given the size of most women's asses, that can be a lot of freight that a guy doesn't want to be responsible for. Women who like you will have sex with you without a date. Women who don't like you will accept your date invitations, let you squander your hard earned money and never fuck you. Don't get played. I haven't paid for a date in the last 20 years since becoming Red Pill aware (and leaving the Christian "Blue Pill" Church). I have had a lot of sex in the last 20 years without ever spending a dime of my money on a woman. My only regret is how badly I was played by women before I swallowed the Red Pill

Starlight007 · Answer

I WILL SAY IT AGAIN, NEVER EVER EVER IN YOUR LIFE! LOOK FOR A RELATIONSHIP ONLINE STICK TO MEETING PEOPLE IN PERSON OR ELSE YOU'LL 99.9 PERCENT OF THE TIME FEEL LIKE DATING IS OVER!. its a scam dating online is a scam it robs you of face to face communication and face to face chemistry. and the catfish online are abundant!. just avoid online dating!!! save yourself!.

Zeus_66 · Answer

Societal norms. Plain and simple. Of course, we all know it works both ways. But brushing off stereotypes, especially in the modern era where oppressing men seems to be a norm, isn't on the docket. It is further exploited, making men look worse.

There shouldn't be any blame one way or another. Reality is men and women aren't that different. But social influences coupled with politics drives agendas that currently paint men consistently as the aggressor or antagonist. Is what it is. Who knows what 10, 20, even 50 years from now will bring us.

Freyke · Answer

I support online dating. Sites and apps. But I prefer just meeting someone and talking to them on the spot.
I am against the swiping, you judge on our looks, and we on theirs, that's how the app works, we see only the picture first, not the bio. I think it's a shame they designed it like that.
Some girls use it just to boost their confidence. Some guys use it to just hookup. Kind of makes it harder on the rest of us in our search for something longterm.

Then there is feminist stuff going on, where I get scolded for opening the door for her. Where are all the good men?

TexasRed95 · Answer

I am actually in therapy for issues with relationships and sex. In middleschool when I first had a crush on a girl I mentioned it at home. My father was already abusive. I thought it would make him happy to hear this. He beat the shit out of me because he thought I was sleeping around with tons of girls. Just because I mentioned a crush. This went on for months. He would ask if I still liked her and if I said yes he beat me, if I didn't answer he beat me, and if I said no he said he knew I was lying and would beat me. If I start to have interest in a woman I get physically sick because of him. Headaches, nausea, dizziness, cramps. And I haven't ever had the desire to have sex because of it either. Even masturbation gives me a headache because of it and I usually just stop mid way through. So that's my reason why I don't date.

AmysQs5 · Answer

I'm not sure why anyone would hit someone up on facebook just because she said she was single. I understand that it is much easier for us to get attention in a dating sense though and I appreciate that for sure. It often is difficult to find good men that meet my criteria, but that is ok because I'm patient enough to find them. We also have plenty of problems in dating though. Worrying about our safety on dates, guys who don't want to wear condoms, etc. But I can see how it is very hard for men

fonduegirl · Answer

When they say hit them up, they don't mean "all creeps welcome", which is the biggest setback if you're looking for an online date. In my experience, most of the time decent men don't hit us up like at all. It's usually some creep wanting to know what size we like on a man and what size is our boob cup.

Avicenna · Answer

Well, believe it or not, most relationships fail or never get off the ground. Lack of compatibility or serious personal flaws are usually the reasons why. In your case, you are at an age where men outnumber women and a large number of single women have kids, which makes them undateable to most men.

KelleyNice · Answer

It depends on their age. That is, it is a number game. There are 7% more never married men than never married women ages 18-24. That is also about the percentages of unmarried men and to unmarried women ages 25-34. However, for ages 35-39 age the ratios are close to even and after that their are more unmarried women.

Wsx2wsx2ws · Answer

I understand that. Its way to easy for people to call any attempt sexual harassment.
I have been very careful on how I word things and still its slapped me across the face a few times.
It can really piss me off and takes a few days for me to flush that experience. Yet women will give clear signs and not ever take that risk themselves to say something.

So here we are all single complaining that there are no good people out there.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

Yeah I hear ya.. I'll be honest tho my fb dms are filled with shallow men who just want my body not a relationship. I was looking for a relationship but not on fb haha that shits to complicated and most of the time you're being played

Emiliamazing · Answer

I’ll intentions can populate both sexes.
honesty is hard to come by
jealousy seems rampant
enjoyable dating starts with knowing what you want and clear intentions
I don’t have to worry about it now, but our children will….

lucasnabizada · Answer

Because they do get the rougher end of the deal... Women want men to fight it out in between them to find the best match suitable for a mating partner and won't accept to settle for the bottom of the barrel mediocre guys who would like to also get with them (girls who respect themselves at least would not)... SO guys have to compete for women's attention and evolutionarily speaking this is how it has worked

mermaidcancermoon · Answer

there's a ton of garbage in the dating scene. You have to be able to put on blinders to focus on healthy dates and yourself.

Women feel the exact same way but its like falling down a rabbit hole if you get caught up in the trash.

Adronicus · Answer

The ones complaining that there's no good men left are telling you how they like to be treated, Listen to what woman complain about, they give themselves away. I'd never encourage a man to change himself for this reason but the decisions on them. I wouldn't waste my time with online dating, you're setting yourself up for the social rejects. Learn to read body language & you'll know without asking what women respond to & what turns them off

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Few women have a terrible deal. Most men get a shitty deal. Most women get a pretty good deal. And few men get an excellent deal.

It all equals out in the genders but its reletively equal for women and very unequal for men. But it does average out.

Intothevoid666 · Answer

Because they do. Go on tinder as a girl and you’ll find hundreds of guys to take u on a date. Go on tinder as a guy and you’ll get nothing but land whales to want a date. It doesn’t matter if the guy is nice or genuine about it either. How is that a fair game?

Abd715 · Answer

It is simply the way it is. There’s not really much you can do about it. Dating is hard for everyone in different ways and yes it probably is slightly harder for men today. But as I said, that’s just how it is. What doesn’t help is when people blame others. It is much more effective and likely to lead to happiness if people take personal responsibility and work on improving themselves.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

If you posted the same you wouldn't be interested in 90% of the women who respond. It would be even worse for women as they get every desperate guy going "you're single I'm single we're perfect for each other" meanwhile most of those men are shooting way beyond their league. Desperate is never a good look.

Sarahr123 · Answer

Why do men not approach IRL instead of online? Back in the day men actually made an effort to woo the woman they love and now everyone is so desperate that they just want anyone.

Truthatanycost · Answer

If guys stopped simping, things would change over night. Desperation, poor boundaries and a lack of the most basic quality control and standards is a big part of why they get the rougher deal in dating.

Seinna · Answer

Because women are (and have to be) more selective of their partner while men are more likely to be satisfied with a casual relationship and therefore less critical.

DermalPunch · Answer

I think honest and genuine people of both genders, yes two, get the rougher end of the deal. Most people are fake and self-serving.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

Attention whores like that are not to be trusted. It's lazy trolling. I've pulled my own account way back. Many times, I don't want anyone I don't know showing up. But bots always find a way.

globetrotter22 · Answer

I saw a good quote the other day:  Dating is really horrible for a few women, shitty for a lot of men, somewhat good for a lot of women and awesome for very few guys.

litty · Answer

Facebook and most social media dating is so unnatural compared to the past. We have so much data and choices at our finger tips that it leads many to decision paralysis or doubting whether they want to continue talking to just one person at all.

Vide_Noir · Answer

Because guys do get the worse bargain. It's set up in a traditional way, yet neither the men or women are traditional for the most part.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Dating seems to be rough cause these males and females just want hook-ups or booty calls and nothing real but I could be wrong?

PJH359 · Answer

Yes sadly I think it has. People agree to meet and never do…I think many people on dating sites just want an ego boost.

Whatever2929292 · Answer

Well when they have a problem with men that chases away MOST good men since who wants to be with someone who has a problem with men?

CaptainSmartass · Answer

Basically, women still have unattainable standards, and just want to laugh at all the guys who chat them up. by the way, I don't mean for this to sound a bit incel-y, so I apologise if it does.

Simples...

BoobMan · Answer

"Guys" and "Girls" as groups do pretty much EXACTLY as well as each other when it comes to hetero-sexual dating. It's funny that so many people seem to miss that this HAS to be the case.

mantelk · Answer

This is because sex has become so important in the world. Women shamelessly use that to their advantage. They feel special even though noone wants to love them and everyone wants to fuck them.

ArtemisSilver · Answer

Dating does indeed suck. I find it annoying that I'm always expected to pay even if she's horrible company. Men do have it w bit worse for that reason.

nawtee_me · Answer

I don’t even have a Facebook account. To me though it is always about respect. However not all but some both make and female have no respect at all. They want what they want and who gets hurt doesn’t matter.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I don't have facebook so I wouldn't know about all that. I prefer to go out on real dates!

Cocochoh · Answer

Eeeeeeeeeegggggggggoooooooooooooo!! Want to feel wanted with out committing

GreatnessBack · Answer

"A lot of the time on Facebook"  Red flag for this whole post. Anything on the internet is BS. Real people won't act in RL as they do on SM, most times.  Touch grass and ass.

DivineZero · Answer

Those women are crazy that's why no one stays around. Damaged people often damage people. It seems that way because it's true and yet love is still soooo worth it lol. Soldier on Son

CintiaJones · Answer

I am so happy that I'm not a man. Being a woman is just soo much better overall.

jamesgoldman · Answer

Because societally men are worth less than women and that divise will continue until the end of time most kikely

-Asca- · Answer

It‘s not as bad as you make it seem but to answer your question it seems like that because it is. Dating/flirting/sex/marriage is the only area of life where men have it rougher than women.

PatriceONeal · Answer

Never hit girls up on facebook.. if they reach out to you that's fine but it's still public and your friends and family are all there. Too much risk involved.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

Don't use Facebook for dating, it's barely even fit for regular socialising.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Because we do... That's what happens when you are the gender that does the chasing.

superdonkey · Answer

Because if you flirt and you're ugly it's called sexual harassment if you flirt and you're good looking it's a non-issue

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Women who complain about no good men left are usually the ones you have to avoid.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Lol what kind of girls do you know on Facebook? 😅 They sound trashy; no offense.

Zolly99999 · Answer

It's very difficult for me. Most women are shallow and have very high expectations.. most men have to settle

maximumpower · Answer

yep. ladies can be as rotten as they wanna be and get away with it. a guy being rotten is called out, castised and publicly humiliated.

Alex8736 · Answer

When guys get flirty it's considered sexual harassment where if girls get flirty it's $99.99 added to their ONLY FANS account 😜😇

Abdulwahh · Answer

Truth is they single only for a specific type of guy the part of there's no good men left is totally ignorant ignore those ladies there's better quality females on the other end

moviedude714 · Answer

Probably because men always have to pursue, something that I doubt will change

Why do guys seem like they get the rougher end of the deal in dating and flirting?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why is it some guys flirt even when in a relationship?

Why do guys seem like they get the rougher end of the deal in dating and flirting?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why is it some guys flirt even when in a relationship?

We're glad to see you liked this post.