Have no idea if this girl wants to take things further with me or not?

[Anonymous]

by further lets say have sex or at least a more intimate relationship than say a casual friendship. i've been seeing a lot of her in person the last 2 months although we've known each other longer than that but been some gaps when we didn't really see each other.

left clueless cause we get along so well i don't really know if were just friends or if she's just being really nice with me or whats going on. a lot of her girlfriend's and people at her work though there was something going on between us but then nothing really seemed to happen beyond seeing a lot of her there and some partying together a few nights

i'm not really the kind of guy girls would have random sexual encounters with which is perhaps why i don't have a lot of sexual confidence or entirely sure if she's actually interested in doing that or not with me. i'm just not sure what to say to her anymore , i've tried to initiate different conversations with her but never really get them to go in this direction or get any answers from her

[AviatorTom]

When in doubt, it never hurts to ask.

[Asker]

but how do you ask without risking whatever genuine friendship we have at this point?

[AviatorTom]

If you have genuine friendship, asking what affect that friendship.

[Asker]

but has always been attraction between us , i've never felt i was friendzoned in that sense , so don't really know

[AviatorTom]

Nothing to it but to do it... take the risk, what's the worst that happens? she says she's not interested in that way?

[Asker]

i'm trying to figure out some way to talk to her about this and a few other things , will update if i see her today or tomorrow

[LazerBean]

Ask.

[Asker]

i obviously want to say something to her as this has been going on for a couple weeks now but what do you say? we seem to get along really well and don't want to make things entirely awkward between us

[LazerBean]

Either you will work or you won't. Waiting around for "the right words" or "the right time" is it going to change if it will work or not, it's only going to prolong how much time there is before you find out if it's going to work or not. So just ask, however you can manage.

[Asker]

i'm pretty sure it would work as long as she's willing to put in some effort and comfortable with being physically intimate with me.

she plans to return to school around start of September so pretty sure it won't continue past then , at least i'd be seeing a lot less of her , i'd be ok with trying to maintain some sort of long distance connection with her but not sure what she's want

last year she disappeared after the end of summer and re apepared around x mas at same pub and desperately wanted to see me again , like stared at me entire night until i came over and we did a shot together but after that night see disappeared again until may and we've been seeing each other every couple days since

[LazerBean]

What you described is not an actual relationship "working", it's just a series of indefinite sexual encounters, which she may not be interested in. Which is why you should clarify what you have in mind to her.