Is it jaded to assume that cheating is inevitable with most relationships?

[Dsg1193]

I said most not all, look at the divorce rate. I can’t help but feel like if I decided to date someone, there’s a good chance that I will end up being cheated on. You can say vice versa but I really don’t think I’m that type, I’m more likely to just break it off if things aren’t going well. From all the stories you hear from people you know or even if you want to count the media, seems like cheating is bound to happen especially with the way it is today with the apps and social media.

Yes

No

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Well, being cheated on isn't inevitable, but it’s definitely an issue within relationships.
I see it happening a lot because people simply do not have the nerve to speak up about their unhappiness in the relationship. I think a lot of people lack the ability to express boundaries, expectations, and their feelings in the relationship.



I think if people expressed what their boundaries are, (having opposite gendered friends, for example), their expectations (long term, monogamous or polyamorous relationship), and their feelings (feeling unhappy with the sex life or romance)… Then they would have a healthy relationship without cheating.


People also have to consider WHO they are getting in a relationship with. There are certain people who you know would never cheat, and certain people who might have a bad track record… If you get in a relationship with someone who has a history of being untrustworthy, irresponsible, or careless… That’s just a recipe for a cheater. If you get in a relationship with someone who is strong with their morals and values, and is open with communication about boundaries, expectations, and feelings about the relationship… Chances are, they will not cheat. There’s a distinction between these two types of people, and anyone can cheat, but choose the one who’s trustworthy and less likely to be the type to cheat.

[RavVid]

It certainly seems like that and, if you were 'looking', dating apps give you a greater breadth of opportunity than you would have through work and social contact. In any long term relationship, the initial excitement does fade and becomes more soft and comfortable. That's a good thing really but there is not that excitement there was once.

For myself I would not sexually cheat - I have given promises and my word on that - but if you like someone and find them attractive it is difficult not to have thoughts and thoughts can beget other thoughts. It is not that unlikely that 'liking' can transmogrify into 'LIKING' if you are in frequent contact.

Relationships between guys and gals are more for 'fun and pleasure' whereas once they were highly functional. They still are to a degree. A single person with a single income is not going to find the housing market as friendly as a lawyer couple with a double lawyer income. A 1950's couple would have been more functionally centered on - together - building house, home and family with grandchildren eventually and becoming the matriarch and patriarch of the family. And look back on a life well lived and built together. I know this is a highly nostalgic image folk and often didn't work out like that

I don't think cheating is the major point. Cheating is a fairly nasty revocation of a relationship and often with bad emotional consequences on the cheated on partner. The more major question is I think would you expect to expect a relationship to end with you being dumped or cheated on? Perhaps because the sex is not as steamy as it once was and you are not as exciting as you once were.

[WindAtMyBack]

You are jaded. You can't assume that most people will cheat. Nor can you assume that a marriage will end in divorce. The majority of people don't get divorced. The high divorce rate is largely because the same minority of people keep getting divorced over and over again.

[shaysh87]

I think many people are shocked to hear about their partners cheating. But I'm willing to bet that most cheating never gets discovered by the other partner. Many people die without ever knowing that their spouses cheated on them. And they have peaceful lives alongside their spouse.

Its important to pick someone who is faithful but understand that there is no guaranteed way to find out if your partner is cheating on you. It must a risk that you are willing to be open to.

[RavVid]

Yes indeed. We all take that risk. You would get exactly the same reaction from a guilty partner as from an innocent partner. Indignant denial and possibly counter charges.

Our brains take in a lot of info and we might get a red flag alert that something is NQR. As an example I came home and immediately thought someone has been in here. Told myself I was being silly and cooked a meal and went to put on a movie... but my video equipment was missing. then realized the kitchen window was open and there were footprints on the bench. Who ever had scaled up a drain pipe.

If you get a red flag an think you a getting lied to, you are best outwardly accepting the lie and come back to it occasionally. Liars change the story and often enhance it.

[shaysh87]

@RavVid

I've been online for many years. Its not uncommon for married men to come online looking to cheat. Usually they do it because they have marital problems. Very rarely do happily married men ever go out to look to cheat. Frequently wives no longer are eager to please their husbands after they get married. Wives no longer put in the effort to make their marriages work.

[shaysh87]

@RavVid

Another thing that I have learned encountering so many cheating married men over the years is that these men really do love their wives and have absolutely no intention of divorcing. Its just that they are not fulfilled by their marriages. It could be lack of attention, sex, appreciation.

End conclusion is:

Just because you married the love of your life, it really does not mean you will be happy forever. You can be married to someone you love but also be lonely on a daily basis. Love is no guarantee of happiness.

[RavVid]

I'd agree with that too Shaysh87.

[dynamicyandere]

For this reason, I think it’s really good to make sure that your SO shares the same philosophy as you about loyalty and cheating. You need to be with someone with a strong personal code of ethics that strongly believes in the same thing—they too should also believe that it’s better to break things off rather than cheat if things really aren’t working out.

[Xoirwinkan]

You just have to decided that you are going into the marriage for life, and fight tooth and nail to keep it that way. Of course, that may be harder than ever to achieve, considering that the more partners a woman has had the less likely a life-long marriage is.

[crossdressingrihno]

Cheating usually happens when a partners emotional needs are not met.
Do with that information as you wish

[LazerBean]

I think it's pretty silly to think everyone else will do something but you won't.

[spartan55]

Uh... no? Perform your due diligence up front and don't date the first shithead that comes along.

[ArtemisSilver]

No, but more people need to just be honest to themselves and be openly poly instead of sneaking around, and monkey branching between partners.

[JakeS00]

It’s a choice one makes and they wonder why they get judged for cheating.

[Zolly99999]

I actually agree with you.. every relationship I have been in the girl always cheated on my so I gave up in relationships

[Anonymous]

Cheating comes down to 1 thing. Your selection of partners. If you choose cheaters. Guess what? They're going to cheat. It's really that simple.

[Andres77]

It's realistic.
Sad but true.

[EnglishEuropean]

It's jaded, but it's not wrong either.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think its very jaded to believe that.

[Anonymous]

dating is a waste of time

[Opinion Owner]

this is why I say men should just force them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hu_UaaaQKts