Has cheating in relationships become a norm?

Question

So much infidelity, everywhere. It's like people who don't cheat are becoming rare. I can't believe I feel guilty even sharing my social media with a new guy friend when I'm in a relationship, and people out there legitimately fucking others and telling them lovey dovey stuff on text, gosh what's going on 😭😭😭

Investigator · Accepted Answer

"Has cheating in relationships become a norm?"

Well, in order to answer this question, we need to know why people are in relationships at all. Is it for love and commitment, sexual pleasure and affairs or something in between? The problem with the sexual revolution, more than anything else, is that--at a very basic level--it dismantled very well-established lines of conduct. If you were dating, you were dating. If you were in a committed relationship, you were in a committed relationship and there was very little ambiguity about the state of affairs between the involved parties. If you were married, you were very definitely married, not the modern "well, we're living together and we share all of the expenses, but we file separate tax returns because we're technically not a corporation. Rather, we're too mutually-minded people who just so happen to occupy the same living space for extended periods of time."

Before you can say "cheating is normal these days", you'd first have to prove that most couples are actually, well, couples and not just long-term f*ck buddies. You'd have to demonstrate that, more often than not, couples can and will lay claim to long term commitment, rather than basically saying "well, we're having sex and we've been together for a while. What else is there to a relationship? Why ruin a good thing?" Why? Because you have to prove that boundaries had already been established and that sleeping around had been agreed-upon as a forbidden action, so that when it happens, there is no question as to whether or not fidelity was broken. If you cannot establish firm commitment or have both parties agree on the capacity to which they were supposed to be together, then it's hard to say that one party cheated on the other or the degree to which cheating occurred, because there was no assumption of exclusivity.

Now, if one partner was convinced that they were an item and the other wasn't, then the partner who thought they agreed to commitment will feel betrayed and cheated on, but it wouldn't have been "cheating" proper; there is no such thing as a one-sided relationship betrayal. A good example of this is stalking: a stalker might feel betrayed that their "partner" (more realistically their target of obsession) is dating other people, but the "partner" in question neither knows nor was interested in the person they are being stalked by and certainly was in no position to be cheating on the stalker.

Blightly · Accepted Answer

There's plenty of reason for a girl to stay in a relationship with a guy. If they stay together and eventually get married, she's guaranteed a solid income based on his wealth. There's no incentive for girls to stay in a marriage with a guy. She can leave him and take half of his total net worth to be with someone "better". Add to that a monthly check for the child (which she doesn't need to spend on said child) and she's definitely in the clear.

Prior to marriage, there's nothing keeping a guy to staying in a relationship. He can leave a girl at whim. After marriage, leaving the relationship is a death sentence to the guy because he'll lose most everything in the divorce.

Best to stay in a relationship for men as they have nothing to lose, unless they're together for 7 years where she can then leave and the court will treat it similar to a marriage and he'll lose his wealth.

Best to get married as a woman as then they have everything to gain when they want to leave, even prenuptials can't save him in this day and age.

SueShe · Accepted Answer

Yes, it definitely has and not only since today.

Pornography is becoming the standard by which people live nowadays and they are taking example of the perversion that the pornographic industry makes us believe is the rule to live by.

Decency in all aspects of life and in sexual relations is a thing of the past while respect of the partner is about as modern as the Fort T.

No, people live a life of selfishness and do not really care about the feelings of others, as long as their selfish behavior is satiated. Sex is predominating in almost every relation while people do let themselves be dictated what their genital organs is tell them to do rather than to think with the brain.

Davsy · Accepted Answer

Short story for anyone interested on the normalcy of cheating these days:
I was with my partner for just under two years, she cheated on me for two months without me knowing and after we broke up (I worked it with out in the end) she came to my house to drive me to hospital and brought the girl she cheated on me with for the drive. A year later they're still together, she's tried to get back with me more than once and I consistently associate myself with them both because everyone made me feel like I was overreacting and that I have to be civil about it

courtney06 · Accepted Answer

I hear where you’re coming from and feel the same way. Yes, I honestly feel like it has become the norm and the media doesn’t help by entertaining it so much in tv shows, movies, news, songs, etc. I witnessed so much of it all my life. This is why I don’t bother pursuing romantic relationships anymore. I personally wouldn’t take it very well if I were to find out I got cheated on. I’m better off.

And if someone reads this and feels the need to change my mind, please don’t bother. I’m not looking for advice or “help”.

needsanswers100 · Answer

I think the reason why some people do that is because they like having sex with many different people but also like the idea of having a committed significant other. Some of these people decide that the only way to have the best of both worlds is to lie that they only want to be with one person, which helps them get into a committed relationship but they continue to have sex with other people in secret. Society needs to find a way for these people to date other people like them so that they don't have to lie about having sex with other partners but instead can be a part of a relationship where having sex with other people is a known quantity.

ohshee · Answer

I do think the world is changing. Its becoming a me me me world ,, no one wants to be responsible for anyone or have a commitment i think in the business world everyone wants to go up the ladder and dont have time for a relationships or want to be tired down i find myself with a job and with that job i get 1 to 10 side jobs per week and then i also do work for a real estate management company and do all of there work ,, there's no way any girl would want to be with a guy who is never home,, and i dont think it would be fair for me to pick up on someone and not put 100 % in to it even tho i want it so bad and i almost crave touch passion lust love just giving it ,, because im over full lol so if i was to gave a gurl friend im sure she would get bored and find some one who was there for her i think a lot of people are not around enough to give there partner 100 % so the other cheats i think the world is seeing this and we adapt its easier to have a friends with benefits or a fling ,,,

EpicDweeb · Answer

People don't value sex as something sacred anymore. Along with that our society has built up love and broken down respect as the pillars of a relationship. Both are crucial but no emphasis is given to respect. Without respect guys struggle to show love, without love women struggle to show respect. A man who doesn't feel respected is likely to cheat with a woman who makes him feel respected and a woman who feels unloved is likely to cheat with a man who treats her with love. This, combined with our low view of sex has resulted in the culture we're in today.

Ameya · Answer

I think it has. With so many good looking girls and guys around it becomes hard to maintain control I think. If not physically then mentally and emotionally people are cheating on one another in my experience. I’ve had two of my female friends hit on me even after they’ve been married for 2-3 years and telling me how they made a mistake by not being with me. I’m still looking and it is hard for me to look for someone because being a brown guy in this country is anyways too hard lmao. Imagine I get a girl but I still wonder if I can’t count on her to be faithful because she could leave me for another good looking white guy or black guy anytime. I’m old school and I can’t afford these heartbreaks n emotional lows anymore.

Akili · Answer

It is a different from every country but you can see if a girl or a guy will cheat on you on thayr way of keeping things and thay way thay talk too others when you are not there and if thay are not honest about things and thay like too live the social media life because life is perfect social media

WalterRadio · Answer

Because that is what women want.

Thousands of years ago, a woman needed a man to survive, especially during pregnancy and early child rearing. That is no longer true, not even in a financial sense.

Although humans have always exhibited a variety of mating strategies (my favorite is the harem), because of the loss of required support from men, they have decided they no longer need to be bound to a man. They therefore easily have sex with as many men as they like.

Because women are so easy to have sex with men, men now find it very easy to "cheat". And women "cheat" because they no longer need a man to survive.

ImJustCurious13 · Answer

I've never been in a relationship, but I hear about cheating too often. I'm not ready to date yet, but when I do I'm setting my standards a bit high. I always think if you don't want the norm then don't go for the norm, if you want the special few then work for the special few even if it's hard.
Sometimes I lose hope on love though. It seems like everyone just wants to fuck each other and only get into relationships for their own personal gain. It's like evolution is going backwards and we're turning back into chimps. It seems like people who actually want a meaningful life long relationship are better off living with pets since animals have better morality these days.

ZeGrandeLampshade · Answer

Pretty much. If people can't be honest about what they want, betrayal and infidelity is inevitable. This goes as far as being honest with yourselves as well, if it's not working out, maybe continuing forward until something fucks up big style isn't the best course of action.

LordSnuggles · Answer

Even statistically, infidelity is a minority. 21% of men and 13% of women have done it. That's hardly a norm or majority. Not even close. Perhaps is more common in particular age brackets and communities or environments. But it's hardly everywhere. Be realistic. And your personal experience doesn't match with nationwide studies. Perhaps you over exaggerate it.

sexyasianboi26 · Answer

Lol @ young guys.

If you think cheating is worse now, wait until some of you get married and get divorced.

I’ve personally witnessed men who started from the bottom and built their empire, get destroyed at divorce court. Imagine all the hours you put in side hustling to buy a Lamborghini. Only for a Judge to say “your ex wife wants your supercar so I hereby declare it her property now”. Loooooool

nerms123 · Answer

Throughout most of history polyamory, polygamy, polyandry, and free love was the norm. These are still practiced in some traditional and tribal cultures. Some people prefer monogamy or serial monogamy which is fine but everyone is different. Biologically speaking the most “natural” way for humans to procreate is gang bang 🤷‍♀️

Cherokeehp · Answer

Yes and no, sort of. It’s extremely common, but that doesn’t mean you should settle for a cheater, and it doesn’t mean you should cheat either. If you don’t want to get cheated on then you’ve got to set boundaries in your relationship and enforce them. If he cheats then leave him. A lot of people are so stuck on cheaters that they stay with them and get cheated on again and again. If he/she cheats then leave em. You don’t have to settle for trash.

RaindropSparkle · Answer

No I don't believe its the 'norm' in terms of beingore commilon than monogomy. But its always existed and is probably more common than some realise. However, young people generally do t want anything too serious for too long u til they're older, so I can understand the frustration for some who are looking for more whilst young.

Chevy990 · Answer

Lol, people standards are getting low, no one really seems to care, but the ones who do are the weird ones, I don't get, not at all, I would never cheat on my partner, but some people don't see it as a big deal, so... Yes It kinda has become the norm but not really, it's just more acceptable, but no one is expecting to actually be cheated on

Dargil · Answer

Bad parenting. Hollywood. Social Media. Sexting. Public schools. No moral foundation. Porn. Sex Ed.
What could go wrong?
If you want to take a stand, do it directly. "If I sense you are fiddling around behind my back, I will ghost without explanation. There are no "mistakes" or second chances. One strike and you are out. If you are honest, this should not offend you. If you want to stand up just for the sake of arguing, you can leave today."

HumenExperiment · Answer

It's scary, and confusing, people acknowledge its becoming more common and it adds to why people get possessive and clingy but bash them for daring to have doubts, people dont know where to actually try anymore because they may get hurt and the only bandaid for it is "sucks I guess"

WhistleForTheChoir · Answer

Well a lot of women select for men who have a lot of female options, and it's an almost an expectation that the man is at least ABLE to cheat, even if he doesn't. I would never cheat, but that's why women will never pay attention to me. Men are supposed to take women for granted, and if a man isn't able to, he can just get used to being alone. Women OF COURSE are allowed to cheat for whatever reason whenever they want. Usually though, if they're cheating, they're just getting ready to change dudes up.

Rangers · Answer

People who wouldn't cheat aren't rare at all, the issue is that people constantly chase those who do cheat. When it backfires on them, they place the blame on them, which is fair, but never take a minute to actknowledge the role they played in this by choosing to be with someone like that, then they go after someone else just like that and refuse to learn. They say "no good people approach me", they do approach you, but when they do, you either ignore them or say they're boring. There's work that needs to be done on both sides, not just one, denying this is self destructive, narcissistic behavior that will get you nowhere.

Reaperbot666 · Answer

lack of communication and sex in a relationship often leads to people cheating on each other.

hbg84 · Answer

Yes in my opinion. Especially now that your seeing an increase in the swinger lifestyle and spouse sharing. Hotwife lifestyle, cuckold husband. Stag husband and cuckqueen wife. Either way you look at it its still cheating to some. Eventhough that's how couples get off nowadays. Too each their own

LogicBomber · Answer

Society has literally gone to shit.
Women have the illusion of choice because of apps like tinder, instagram, vsco, etc where they are getting endless attention from males, so they don't settle for anything anymore.

Males are given the ability to put more feelers out because of these apps as well and when a female shows interest... it is hard not to take it because we don't get the endless attention women get.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

The prevalence of cheating in relationships these days is proof of moral decline and of being unsuitable for relationships in the first place. I guess that this is what you get when you decide that God is old and throw Him away.

Lightning8 · Answer

If you ask some people, cheating has been at least somewhat common since the beginning of our species. Even in monogamous animal species like birds, cheating is present, but a bit less common than cheating in humans.

In the West though, people have just gotton probably more open and in my opinion disgusting with it. Marraige, honor, loyalty, ethics, etiquette and patience etc., have been thrown out the window so widely.

Therisinghero12 · Answer

I honestly don't know, kind of feels like it because of how much you hear about it, but for all I know it could just be a very outspoken minority, hard to tell. All I know for sure is that I'm loyal and that I'll have to trust than any future partners are as well.

Gstacy1989 · Answer

Throughout the years ever since mankind came to be people have had polygamous tendencies especilly back in the caveman days when people fought for survival... think about it...
But if people aren’t happy with their partner they should have a heart to heart talk and try to resolve any issues if they really love each other...

loveslongnails · Answer

I see comments like "it's very common nowadays". I don't know how you can arrive at this conclusion by random observation. It reminds of a conversation I heard once when a girl said "I just found out today my best friend's boyfriend of 5 years cheated on her, and just the other day I heard my classmate said the same thing ! Geez, EVERYONE is cheating !" Ummm... not based on that sampling! LOL

_SOARER_ · Answer

Yes it has
Especially in the USA where media constantly promotes adultery through music, entertainment, "science", magazines etc

They are trying to destroy the institution of Family. They basis of all civilization

DWornock · Answer

It probably seems that way. Certainly, modern day young women are quick to drop their panties if the guy is hot. It is our culture. When there is no shaming and almost every movie with any romance shows the main characters hoping in bed, often before they even have dinner, it is bound to affect the psyche of young women.

talloak · Answer

It’s insanely high. I really don’t understand how people can cheat. Even apart from the immorality and the hurtfulness, why would people throw away everything just for sex?

sweet87 · Answer

Not at all, some people are just so unsure as to what they truly want they end up making mistakes, doesn't justify it that's just the way some people deal with it! Not me personally tho, 100 percent loyal and wouldn't dream of going anywhere else! Sex is a very spiritual thing, having it with the wrong person can be very draining and a horrible experience

Ellie-V · Answer

It’s always been a common thing. We’re just more vocal about it now.
Those who don’t step out are not in short supply. It’s not that dramatic. However, depending on where you are you could easily have more “cheaters” in one area than the other.

djmzes · Answer

Simple

TazWax · Answer

I don't think it's just that. People are getting into situationships and not clearly setting boundaries so they are getting hurt when the other person doesn't stop seeing other people like they have and are saying the person is cheating.

Sophie_2301 · Answer

Feels like it. People act like cheating is just a mistake like ‘whoops, my hand slipped!’ Cheating is choice. It’s a choice to hurt the person you claim to love and to break their heart.

BruceWayne1019 · Answer

Been in relationship, never cheated
But people who cheated seem more happy idky, maybe because even when I am stuck in the most difficult of situations I did stand by her.

Anyways men (most) treat woman like trophy , they are so insecure about themselves that they need validation by getting another girl to make themselves feel secure and desirable about themselves. Not just men, maybe we all as humans?

theMonarh · Answer

As someone who's cheated many times and has been cheated on too. I have to say this. And I can't stress this enough. There's a type of people that can do it. Lie. Cheat. It's in their (our) blood.
That's not the norm. It never was. But it gets attention and you feel that it's everyone. No one is gonna shout "Hey I didn't cheat!" And get a round of applause.

OrdinaryLoner · Answer

No i still thing the same about of shitty people who cheat are their that were there before, people just used to be more embarrassed to share that they cheated/ got cheated on

Hurlyburly · Answer

Cheating isn't becoming the norm, it's still only a minority of men and women who cheat like it has always been. In times of internet we just hear about it more often that's all.

Mike3569 · Answer

I feel it's a natural reaction to the decline in female birthrates, that's why a lot of men are so fickle now, it's a natural phenomenon to ensure the species. It sucks emotionally but rationally it makes sense to try and procreate with as much possible chance rather than wait.

gym4ever · Answer

Thats why i dont trust people. Everyone is asking me why im single and thats only reason. People are disgusting.

JohnAlaska43 · Answer

I dont think so. Just plenty of people lack morals. Or common sense.  I stay clear of open relationships. Because honestly its not a relstionship. Its cheating all it is.

genericname85 · Answer

honestly i don't care. i don't cheat and if someone cheats on me, i'll get them out of my life right then.

i guess in the times of social media, cheating is far more salient than ever. i'm not sure if it has become more frequent or not.

OddBeMe · Answer

Possibly. But I think “not working hard” is also in our culture. These days of instant gratification, we don’t want to work at relationships. We want TV romance at the snap of our fingers. But that ain’t real.

Ripper_E · Answer

Cheating has been around as long as monogamy. The world is just a smaller place now and news travels fast, making us more aware of it.

arabgoddess · Answer

You should see how legalised it is with the French people.. Maybe they're doing something right that we don't know about lol

ridamsantosh · Answer

Yaaaa... I do think sooo, it's been a month my girl cheated on me... I think it's bitter but yeah it's damn true cheating is there

lightbulb27 · Answer

no, but might look that way due to it being in the media. Failure of all types has.

NoEstrogen · Answer

No. I've been with my girlfriend for over 10 years, no infidelity either way.

BCA6010 · Answer

Not the norm, but it has gotten increasingly common over the last ~10 years.

Pamina · Answer

It has always been a norm, it's just that now people talk more openly about it.

Harmseygrace · Answer

Thanks to feminism, it's gotten worse. Sadly, it's normal now.

dragoblack · Answer

Sadly, but it's not out of social norm. It's more people don't know how to talk about relationship problems in relationships and they don't know how to break off the relationship when the feelings are gone

Unit1 · Answer

Unfortunately. Degenerates keep coming. But at least they're setting themselves up for karma to bite them in their ass one day. You'll see. Hopefully.

Massageman · Answer

Many will simply view this as an esteem builder, and not realize how much it can hurt their primary partner/spouse.

Lliam · Answer

It's never been the norm in any relationship I've ever been in.

MrCommodore · Answer

No I think only a very small percentage of people ever cheat.

justawhiteman · Answer

well my ex cheated on me but I dont know if id say its the norm... it could be in the future but not now

Cannuck22 · Answer

Sure there is a lot of that going on but there is also a lot of foot people that don’t cheat and cherish a relationship. Don’t think so bad. There still is good people out there.

Hawk4225 · Answer

It shouldn't be the norm, don't put up with it. If someone cheats on you, then leave them. It might only be the norm because people just accept it instead of giving the cheater repercussions.

Ashleyarn123987 · Answer

DONT LET IT BECOME NORMAL. If someone cheats on you they don’t love you end of story.

Has cheating in relationships become a norm?

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