The guy I like has a dark past, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

So I liked this guy for a couple years now. We actually just started reconnecting. He’s pretty open and honest and said that he has a past. He was into drugs, addiction and had major anger issues. His friends from that phase of his life are still the same and are still his friends to this day.
My friend tho seems to have had a major transformation, he found spirituality a few years back and has been recovering. I don’t judge for his past, but his friends tend to be enablers. So far he’s been doing well, but I feel iffy associating with his friends.

What should I do? Should i hold up on trying to date atm? Thank you!

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is the same way, he was really into the party scene, did a lot of drugs and drinking, plus he had anger issues. I normally don’t associate with people who follow those kind of lifestyle but we ended up falling for each other after being friends for a while.

Now you just have to decide if you can accept his past and his social circle. Maybe try to not be around his friends as much but you also need to ask yourself some questions: Do you trust him enough that he won’t relapse? If he does, would you stay by his side or would you let him deal with his issues under his own terms? There’s no right or wrong answer, but you do need to decide.

[GingerGuy]

Other than "finding Spirituality", has he done any other work on those issues? Because those are major things and honestly, Spirituality isn't fixing them. He might be better currently, but I guarantee those issues aren't gone. If he's completely managed to get rid of the drugs and addiction (and some time needs to pass as well with him being completely clean of those), that is a positive step, but many "fall off the wagon". Then there's the anger management, which is another thing on it's own. The friends are a 3rd thing. I'd feel "iffy" with HIM, never mind the friends. People don't often listen to advice and do what they want to do anyway (have to learn for themselves and sometimes the hard way), but if I were you, I wouldn't get involved with him romantically. Friendship maybe, at best. At least at this point.

[GingerGuy]

And if his friends are in the same type of lifestyle, and he's still friends with them, chances are good he hasn't changed at all. Not really. Or will fall off the wagon, depending how addicted he is/was, and how long he's been clean. I'd question that he really is or not. Or it's been a really short amount of time is my guess.

[Berethor]

Old habits die hard, you decide if his dark past is too much for you or not.

[Anonymous]

Consider giving the guy a chance and see how it goes, but do be cautious.