How do you get out of the category of being good enough to fuck but not good enough to date?

[Anonymous]

[FilmGuy93]

Assuming that you are living in a way that lets you meet relationship-oriented men (which is definitely not a given), the way to get out of the hookup zone is to be an interesting, enjoyable, and uplifting person to be around.

I say this with all the love in the world; so many women are incredibly boring people. It's not that I'm not interested in dating, it's that the woman literally hasn't given me anything to connect with her over. There's simply no basis for a relationship. She's put a lot of work into looking good, but I don't know what she likes, I don't know who she is as a person. So the looks and sex appeal are the only thing I can connect with her over, because that's all she's given me.

I hope this helps. Let me know if I can be of any further assistance.

[Asker]

How have we grown to be boring

[FilmGuy93]

It just doesn't seem like women ever have any hobbies or interests. When I say "boring" I quite literally mean that I don't know what the women do with their days. And it's not even like a particular type of woman is "boring," because I would love to sit down with an avid bookworm who spends her days cataloging old stuff and then attending snooty art exhibits with her friends. Because even if her idea of fun is different from mine, she's living the life she WANTS to live. The absolute worst thing a woman could be, in my opinion, is a person who is just drifting through life, you know? I don't want to hear about how your job is "just a job" and that you're just there to collect a paycheck so you can go clubbing with your girlfriends later. I don't have any questions about that, there's nothing I'm wondering about there, besides whether you're ready to settle down.

That being said, if that is your life; tell me about how you use your paycheck to fund your real hobby, which is kite surfing and snowboarding. And how you and your girls plan 3 exotic wind sporting trips a year where you compete for prize money.

Do you get where I'm going with this? I want to hear about what you do and think "let me find our more about that."

[Anonymous]

If they only see you as good enough for sex, and you never have sex with any of them... then your actions demonstrate you have strict boundaries. Eventually, providing you work on your personality and approach, you will find a man that appreciates those traits. But if you ever have sex with men that only see you as good enough for sex, then this may never happen. Therefore since you phrased it as 'get out of the category' I'm going assume that you have been having sex with such men...

[Cynicaldreamer]

Raise. your. standards.

In other words, make it clear from the getgo that they have to commit to you before having sex. If they're just after sex, that will scare them off. The ones that want you will work and wait for it because they will feel you're worth it.

Sex should NOT be used as a means to get a relationship, but rather come after you're both comfortable and ready to commit. Good grief, I hate when people say, "he won't be with me unless I sleep with him!" No. He's just using you for sex and when he gets what he wants, he doesn't have to work as hard to impress or keep you because he got what he want from you.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

By not fucking people who only think you're good enough to fuck but not good enough to date.
By doing so, you're putting/keeping yourself in that category

[Sixgunsound]

Once you give it up they will come back for sex but never anything else. And if you won’t give it up again the next girl who thinks like you will. Men rise to the standards women set, and no higher because there is a lack of return on investment for resources and energy and time spent getting to the destination. The trick with most men is to get them addicted to you specifically not the same hole every other girl has, otherwise they don’t need you specifically. You do have to give a little bit, but nothing that can’t be seen or done in public. Once he has put a lot of time and effort and resources into you, he won’t want to part with all that and he’s yours. That’s when the fun can start but not before. Mothers used to tell their daughters things like this, but for some reason that seems to have fallen out of fashion.

[Sixgunsound]

Anybody has a hole very few people have a personality. If you were still of those people with personalities have morals. If you were still of the people with personalities and morals are politically compatible. A damn tiny number of people have a personality morals politically compatible and agree and how to raise children. Smaller even than that pool are the people who are attractive to the person seeking the relationship and meet those criteria.

[MrCommodore]

It usually depends on the other person, some will consider you girlfriend/wife material, others just want you for sex. But you can maybe broaden the percentage of men who will see you as girlfriend/wife material by dress code and behaviours. However being yourself should be enough for the right guy.

[ChrisMaster69]

Just don’t lead with the “available for sex” thing.

[Asker]

I try not to but it’s like you don’t get their attention no other way

[ChrisMaster69]

You do

Just play a bit harder to get. Some guys don’t actually want sex straight off.

Also if you are in the US, sex will be a major thing going forward

[JohnK123]

Well do u act like someone who keeps sleeping with other people?
u start by getting friends and stop looking or making it seem like u want to have it all the time
dress more conservative and hang out with guys and don’t fuck them but get to know them

[Jamie05rhs]

Improve your personality. And make it harder for them to get sex.

[Berethor]

Looks like you have a bad reputation and it's hard to change that.

[Shamalien]

Celibacy

[Asker]

Currently working on that and it’s already difficult. It’s like a battle between good and evil in here

[Shamalien]

That is truly what it is. Don’t be seduced by the dark side. You can get to know a guy without putting out and not be in the friend zone either. Kissing doesn’t have to lead to fucking

[Danny_dan92]

For the individual, that won’t change

[In_Trance]

Keep your clothes on