How do I stop feeling like I am not good enough for men I like?

[Anonymous]

I like a man, see the type of girls he follows and immediately think I am not as good as the girls he likes, not as pretty, not as high maintenance, not as interesting as they are.

I shut myself off and get self-conscious thinking I don’t deserve him and what’s the point of talking, he will still not like me?

Everytime I really like a man, intelligent, good looking - I feel like I don’t deserve him.

Even if he messages good morning and good night texts everyday, tells me he wants to take care of me and wants to date me, I am afraid that he will lose interest.

[robhazelnut]

You raised an interesting point, the idea that higher maintenence could be more desired. I suppose that workaholics would prefer higher maintenance inherently to satisfy their addiction, or perhaps narcissists who would want to both brag and insult about it, but generally it's a detriment. If a group of 100 men coukd choose one of two cars with everything the same about them except one required twice the amount of servicing and fueling to function, at least 80 would choose the one which required less maintenance.

[robhazelnut]

"Like" acknowledged. I refrain from tapping the like-button on posts where a person is describing presently having a hard time, in order to prevent generating an assumption that I would want them to never find a solution. Good luck out there!

[Asker]

Thank you!

[robhazelnut]

You're welcome!

[CalmUntilAbused]

Honestly, if You're not high maintenance (but not too "easy" as well), this is enough to make You at least as worthy of true feelings as most women out there, and if You are loyal as well, You're an actual gem. And while I'm by no means telling You to go all body-positive (it's an extremely unhealthy attitude), unless You're seriously overweight, don't really worry about looks (actually, don't worry about looks at all, only worry about what they say about Your health). Being natural is the way to go. Make-up is cheap, having the courage not to use it is actually worthy of respect (and is not a problem in most cases, few women are born hideous, and You're actually going to be unique). So I'd say what You need more of is confidence (yeah, I guess it's rich from someone whose confidence can only be measured with negative numbers, but I'm honest here). If they reject You, it's their problem, not Yours.

[Anonymous]

Well Duhh! 😆 All the hot, entitled men are like that.

They specially expect low-self-esteem, ugly women; to hand their p—sy (🐱) to them, off the bat. I’m 25. I’ve seen it more than enough times.

And they’re not wrong, the ugly low-self-esteem women, often do hand over their p—sy off the bat. They spread it wide open, real fast. And then these high quality males dump you faster than a used condom.

…Work on yourself. Get a nose job. Save up for a face lift. Lose some weight. Hit the gym to fix your BUM. Do something. Then you’ll see you won’t focus on those animals at all. Mindless animals. Met two of them. Literal mindless animals… Like it’s not work focusing on. Focus on you. Upgrade you 🫵…

[Opinion Owner]

*not worth focusing on*

[IslaTheWitch]

Find what you are good at and what you like about yourself and make it a source of your confidence.

Men like confident women. Not arrogant, but simply confident, glowing their own light. Don't try to meet the expectations of others; create yourself as you want to be.

[DextroShade]

You do better by understanding men and learning what they want. If you want a guy to take you seriously and keep you then do the following:

• Make sure he is looking for something serious and isn't just a player.
• Learn what he wants from a partner and be proactive about giving that to him, a few examples would be giving him access to your phone and not posting slutty pictures on social media.
• Submit to his authority and let him lead you.
• Help him out in whatever ways you can, whether that's cleaning his place, cooking for him, or helping out with his business.
• Don't hang out with other dudes, or women who are hoes or feminists.

[blueonblack22]

It’d funny how women always go in one of two directions work this. They are either way too overconfident/picky or they are under confident. They have a hard time getting it just right where they stand

You likely had some bad past experiences. But your femininity itself is valued in our culture. That doesn’t mean women should abuse it (some definitely do nowadays).

But you need to take a deep breath and let things go with the flow. If you meet a guy you like just say hello to him and ask him simple questions. If he’s interested he will definitely keep chatting. If he isn’t he won’t. But men actually like taking the lead on things when we know it’s welcomed and safe to do so.

[Anonymous]

Make sure to properly reason things.
Seems your communication so far is only online, so mainly based on assumptions.

So first, get to meet who thinksl is worth.
Then sometimes lots of men are unemployed, going through tough situations, and so stop communicating which may be misunderstood by women as lack of care or interest.
That may be your case.

So have more communication, and meet in person if possible. You need a clear picture, as it may not be your fault at all. But probably him unstable and embarrassed to say, or a player.

Which you'll not know which case unless you actively discover, whatever method you use. If you don't know, you probably just end up blaming yourself in turn.

I hope this makes sense, though I don't knoe your specific case/s.

[TenderFantasy]

You graduate junior high or high school and get more CONFIDENCE. It comes as you get older and have more experience in life. Life will teach you to not really give two shits about a lot of things. So who cares if that Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise look alike don't like you, at the end of the day, I bet you, their shit stinks just as much as yours, if not worse!

[D_Bone_Steak]

You might not be good enough for the men you choose. Over 50% of women suffer from this issue. They can't get over their own hypergamy... is what it is. You all seem to play yourselves on the players and fuckboys and then call them losers even though you spread your legs for them.

How do I feel?: Not My Problem

How do you feel?

[LiamJHayden]

Honestly, you just take a swing at the guys you fancy. If they reject at least you know, but if you don't try... well you miss all the shots you don't take.

[slatyb]

I felt the same at your age. Talk through this with a professional. It helped me, but not before I entered a disastrous marriage.

[Anonymous]

it's not about what your posting, you probably of high value, thats why u post the way you do, men don't want certain things, a girl who is a virgin is the highest of value, then its with kids... etc.. The highest value in a girl is a girl who posts what you post, so far your a keeper.. ❤

[Opinion Owner]

it's important to remember that everyone has unique preferences and interests. Just because someone follows certain types of individuals on social media doesn't define what they value in a person.
Instead of focusing on perceived inadequacies, try to appreciate your own qualities and what makes you unique. Confidence often comes from self-acceptance and embracing your individuality. If you're interested in this person, consider engaging in conversations, sharing your interests, and allowing them to know the real you.

[Twalli]

Guys don't like high matinance girls. Also you will never find your soulmate if you don't try. Keep in mind you are your harshest critic. The things you dislike about yourself physically may be what a guy likes about you.

[laly520]

stay confident, u r enough n capable n he is with u n not with em for a reason, think of it that what

[PeachyPie93]

All you can do is work on your self confidence and realize, guys look at all types of girls online. It doesn't mean he wants to be with that type of woman. Since who wants the world to be DMing and looking at your girl half naked.

[Roudyrebel8]

Start loving yourself. You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself. Realize how awesome wonderful beautiful and worthwhile you truly are

[Billlewis]

I recommend that the first thing you do is become mean, arrogant and demanding, and treat every guy who comes anywhere near you like shit. Seriously.

[jshm2]

You aren't good enough for men. Hence why you are chasing them, they aren't chasing you.

You need to get your ass in gear and work on yourself.

[Pohjolan]

"not as high maintenance"

That's a positive characteristic you know.

And there are likely things you can do to improve yourself and your confidence with it.

Start bouldering or something.

[rosie95]

You said “see the type of girls he follows” don't compare yourself to others and be confident and stay away from social media because most of it is fake.

[Joshydavid25]

Most men don't expect women to look like the ones they follow on Social media.. The only thing you have to worry about is if she's showing interest in you or not...

[Jamie05rhs]

You're worrying too much, while not having enough information. You need to actually date the guy and get to know him well so that you can be able to tell how he actually feels about you.

[2_beHappy]

Think the other way around:What If THEY don't deserve YOU?

[KrakenAttackin]

Are you willing to share a man with other women?