I feel like no guy will ever be good enough for me?

[Anonymous]

I really wanted to stop thinking this. I fear of getting played and letting my guard down again. I been played by one boyfriend who I loved and did everything for and he cheated on me. Then a I got played by a guy I liked a lot. I developed feelings for him quickly and he played me out. I feel like if you let your guard down people (girl or guy will play you) I think people want what they can't have. So now I just pretend like I don't care. I also look for a lot personality wise and I do have a type when it comes to looks. I want to put my trust in guys, but can't. I feel like my standards sky rocketed after I got played out again. Does anyone else feel this way? How can I tell the guy is serious about his feelings? Does anyone else pretend like they don't care about finding love, but deep down really want it?

I really think having an emotional connection with someone is beautiful, but having it with the wrong person can really make you loose trust and hope in someone.

[JumpThenFall]

It's really hard to let your gaurd down after you've been hurt, we've all been there. It sucks being played. It's really hard when you're alone and people tell you "you'll find love when you're not looking." Well hello! We are all always looking! I completely understand what you mean by trying to act like you don't care and there's always that fine line between not caring enough and caring too much.

I think your best bet is too relax and maybe date a guy that's a little outside your comfort zone. I always used to go out with the hot jocks who were tools and treated me like dirt because they thought they could. One day, I decided that I was sick of being treated like that and wanted to be with a nice guy who treated me well and who I could have great conversations with (about something other than sex/sports/thier friends/and getting drunk). So, I went out of my comfort zone and dated a really smart nice guy. Was he the most attractive guy I've ever gone out with? Heck no! But he was so nice and treated me so well that it made up for it in my mind. The most important thing in a relationship is too be able to be yourself with someone and be able to connect on emotional, physical, intellectual, and moral levels.

I think you should go out with some guys who you don't think are your "type." We all have these ridiculous ideals that we want our men to live up to and unfortunatly that just sets us up to be dissappointed. Plus, you never know if a guy really isn't your type until you try dating him. You might surprise yourself.

[Anonymous]

yes! I agree completely. I have a very hard time trusting because I have been played and I felt an emotional connection with him and it still hurts me months later because I miss him even though he was so bad for me. I guess we have to learn from our pasts and bad mistakes and keep trying and hoping, as we mature hopefully things will get better, I look at it as I am still very young and the right one has just not come along yet.

[Anonymous]

I am lost too,same as you, and I do not think we are alon.

[Anonymous]

Your topic title comes across very cocky. Don't be surprised if you're pushing the good guys away. Guys can easily say you're not good enough for them and that you have trust issues at this point. People get cheated on but that don't mean every guy/girl is going to cheat.

Cheating is mainly defined as going outside the relationship for things that should have been kept within the relationship. It's usualy signified by seeing someone get sexual but at that point, the cheater's mindset was most likely aimed at the relationship being over anyway.

[Asker]

Yeah it does. I didn't mean it that way. Sadly, I think I did this. Now the guy won't talk to me. I really want him back in my life, but he won't give me the time of day. I lost him due to fact that I was being insecure about his motives. I kind of upsets me, but it's no ones fault, but my own

[Konnour]

All this stuff is high-risk, high-reward game, by the time it went wrong you already knew it could happen, you just refused to believe it.

But you will never win if you won't give a chance to anyone ever again, you will remain single for a loooooooong long time...

[Asker]

You're right

[honeyltsme]

Look back at the guys who played you. Do they have a lot of common traits? Avoid those traits.

Because if you date from the same social/professional pool, their compliments and promises will vary but behaviors will be pretty much the same.

Also 90% of young guys (who are cool and fit and have some money) are NOT looking to settle so it'd be stupid to keep running into a brick wall called "I'll be screwing lots of girls because this is something you do before you're 30"

[jacquesvol]

Good analysis:

you're giving yourself the cause, the reasoning behind it AND the solution:

"I feel like my standards sky rocketed after I got played out again."

"I feel like if you let your guard down people (girl or guy will play you) "

"I think people want what they can't have. "

[mystery101]

Unfortunately this comes with trusting someone, opening yourself up also gives the person the power to break u. But in order to achieve something you'v neva had you hav to do things you'v neva done. Its sad when good girls get playd by bad guys, get to know to person really well 1st before you start letting your guard down.

[Tripz]

Everyone has these negative experiences, just learn from the past and know not to go after guys like that anymore.

[Asker]

That makes me feel a little better. I feel like a bitch for feeling this way.

Love is something I want so bad, but I hate how there's that wal blocking me from trusting a guy.

Thank you so much though. :)

[Tripz]

You'll meet the right guy some day

you're welcome

[DutchAtheist]

What can I say, in a way I'm right there with you. On the other hand, you should keep hope for love, otherwise, what's the point living?

[Asker]

I agree! I want to keep that wall up, but I really want to find that guy

[DutchAtheist]

Have people vouch for the next guy.

Heck, I'm going to implement this myself. "I like what I'm hearing, now all I want is two references."

[wan65]

:)I'm the best for you :))