I didn’t speak to him when he came over our house. My mom invited him over to our house to fix something and I had no idea he was coming over. I acted very strangely, leaving the room quite frequently whenever he would enter the same room. My mom invited him to stay for dinner- it was my sis birthday party and he did. I avoided even looking at him because I had a talk with my older divorced friend who said he was just a buff guy that thinks he’s all that and he’s just a mirage- and guys who look good on the outside are rarely good on the inside.
Well, she was wrong. He was kind to my family- my mom especially. He’s talked to my brother and my sister at the gym several times and even came up to help him work out.
When I ate my dinner, I was talking to my moms cousin, but I felt so uncomfortable. Then I left as soon as I was done.
My moms cousin tried to get me to come back and offer tea, and I did come back, but too late. he was about to leave and I never did ask him to stay for tea.
I realize I acted rudely. I regret so much, but I believe I lost my opportunity forever and I will always be alone. I can’t seem to get over my low self esteem and insecurity. Why do I not feel good enough for him? Why do I not feel good enough for most attractive men I like? I suppose many have rejected me…but I am so tired of being alone. The fear is always there. I wish someone would love me despite my fear, but I don’t think that will ever happen.
I cried so much. What can I do? I barely have ever talked to this guy. He probably doesn’t like me that much anyway. Should I move on? I’m 27 and he’s 3 years older than me. I don’t know if I can ever get married. Seems hopeless.
