Do you struggle with phone calls? What's too much attention from your date?

[lilyanony1]

Do you prefer text and voice notes over calls and why?
Imagine you start dating someone, what's too much attention from them?
When do you feel overwhelmed and when do you feel neglected?

[menina]

I don't struggle with phone calls but I've never been in a relationship. So all of my phone calls are either with "family" members or with my friends.

I think text and voice notes are good when you're both busy, otherwise a phone call doesn't hurt in my opinion.

To me it would only be too much attention if them were constantly calling me or texting me. But if we talked for instance 2 times a day it wouldn't be too much.

As for your last question, I'm not sure if I can answer it since I have no experience.

[LazerBean]

I used to talk in the phone for like an hour a day with my husband before we got married. Loved it, and it was great way to get to know him better quickly. We mostly text now unless he's working away overnight.

[love_conquers_lust]

Texts are trash for personal affairs. They’re for business needs, like scheduling and errands. They also fuel into the overwhelming part.

Calls are a far better, nothing beats in person. So much language is lost when you can’t see one another. And it forces you to better budget your time with one another.

[NathanDavis]

what's wrong with actually hearing people... lol

[lilyanony1]

I don't know... since I've started dating I've begun to hear this is actually a thing...
"I have anxiety so I don't talk on the phone!" ❌
"I prefer text as I'm an incredibly busy person!"❌
or they respond at infrequent times so the flow of conversation never gets to the point of a phone call...
I actually drop those people of the list because I like to talk on the phone!

[NathanDavis]

that sounds a bit suspicious... lol

the one reason I usually do not talk on the phone is because I do not want others to hear me, so I go with texting

besides that, I bet you do have an exquisite accent, who would want to miss on that... lol

[lilyanony1]

I think there are just a lot of shafters these days.
I don't know if its Instagram, the pandemic or just a rise in osterity in the west... But women and men seem to be pretending to be something they're not.
And the weight they're carrying is so heavy that actually it comes crashes down really quickly... So I suppose texting allows for them to think a little more on their feet!

[NathanDavis]

maybe you're right... that's why I don't do any online dating

[lilyanony1]

I don't know how else I'm going to meet any one else. Over the years I've gone out and got talking to someone, I've dated someone through work, I've been set up by with someone through a friend. And actually they've all turned out terribly.
This way I'm able to see who may potentially like me and screen more than one at once without feeling like it being so detrimental because I get approached do infrequently...
Maybe for men online dating sucks but for me for the first time the dating pool has opened up and actually come to me, so to speak...
I'm not nasty to anyone and because I'm actually looking I am being picky. So I'm talking to people that I actually fancy and see myself with potentially.

[NathanDavis]

well, sure I do see the value and the worth there is for many other people with the right approach, such as your case is... and maybe I could make it work for myself as well, I just prefer to keep it the way I've always had it, which does not include online dating

but if it is working very well for you, then that's great... at the end of the day, it should not matter how you met someone, as long as you met someone that is great for you and with you

[lilyanony1]

I couldn't agree more.
Whether I think its working is a completely different subject matter.
But its definitely helped me to feel attractive again. And it's probably false, since some men, swipe right so long as you don't have hoofs and buck teeth. It's the scatter approach right!
But I'm talking to people again, I haven't done that in so long, in a dating capacity.
I'm free to mingle and it might sound wrong but if I feel like testing the goods I don't worry either since I just feel like I'm setting things on my terms.
I'm making the decisions in my life. ( instead of the years of having my ex tell me I wasn't good enough or desirable)

[NathanDavis]

attractiveness... can be a matter of opinion, preference, perspective and many other things

there's a lot of attractive people out there that I just don't feel myself attracted to or interested, at all... lol

[lilyanony1]

And I agree. And generally speaking dating apps are not a good wager for my "self esteem" but I generally don't need a lot of compliments and stuff to feel good. It's more that I'm getting on with others! And talking to people I probably would never otherwise talk to!

[NathanDavis]

your hear looks great, by the way... lol

[Sonalsharma25]

Too much attention is when I'm busy doing other stuff like work or house chores and he still wants me to keep talking. That's too clingy and suffocating for me.

[Zolly99999]

I'd say a mix of both.. i wouldn't want a million text a day though

[dailyoctopus94]

I usually prefer texts. It's a lot more casual and doesn't feel as narrowly focused as a call does.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I prefer a little of both

[eagle1951]

i hate both to be honest

[dudeinohio]

Yeah I prefer texts

[lilyanony1]

Is there a reason?

[dudeinohio]

I dislike phone calls to or from anyone. I try to schedule and such online. Dunno why.