Do (most straight) women only like being put on a pedestal in the dating world, which is why they don't approach men or chase after them? Do (most straight) women see going after men as "desperate and a position of weakness."
Brittany Renner (whore to rich athletes and "professional Instagrammer") said it's like predators and prey, only in dating, the prey are the ones who do the approaching.
Men, do you agree with this?
That can be true. But some them are still caught up in this “it’s not lady like” or “I might look desperate” if I approach a man.
So instead they think they can give off “signals” that the man might or might not notice. But they are assuming the man thinks the same way a her. He doesn’t. Most guys don’t see “signals”unless he consciously looking for them (he likes her too) or he’s a rare natural with women
Women are either to passive or too over the top here. The middle road is to just say hello and start a friendly conversation.
Also some guys think it’s a green light thinking for easy sex if a woman approaches him. It usually isn’t and that’s a real negative experience for some women. So don’t do that
I confess I made this mistake when I was much younger. Nowadays in these scenarios I’ll just talk to her and smile. But I don’t expect a quick lay. If she really wants that she will make it obvious after we hang out a bit. Home plate is likely coming but don’t expect to touch it if it’s easy to steal one or two bases. Wait a bit and be patient in that situation. She will let you run home when she’s ready.
It is definitely a common preference, but i’m not so sure it’s as willful as many men might believe.
First, we socialize men to assert and women to wait to be asserted upon. Even if we stopped doing that entirely this very instant, it would take several generations to mitigate the evolutionary biology involved. Men have been selecting passive women for eons. The expectation that their behavior can change as quickly as societal standards and laws do is irrational and unreasonable. We can revert the societal standards and laws thrice before evolution took its part.
We're ALL raised this way. Whether it's or parents, Disney movies, now, etc. The man chases after the woman.
But then some women take it to extremes and start thinking of themselves as literal queens and get selfish and nasty; going on dates for the sole purpose of being wined and dined in the midst expensive manner and if he can't do it, he's not worthy.
I could go on. Long story short, those women who think themselves too high and mighty like you're describing, I don't like those... they give us a bad rep
I encountered a woman who described herself as an "Amazonian goddess." I asked her why she used such a hyperbole to describe her attractiveness and told her that making such arrogant statements about herself is NOT attractive. She said, "I'm not arrogant, I'm just not blind…anyone who isn't blind can clearly see that I'm attractive." I told her that I have 20/20 vision and I did not find her attractive in any sense of the word. She said that I was a damaged beta male who couldn't handle being around beautiful, confident women. I had never met a woman so grandiose and nauseating in my life.
What do you think? Is this the kind of woman you are speaking of who thinks too highly of herself? Just curious.
Yeah pretty much. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think I'm attractive and I'm confident in my body. But I'm aware I'm not gonna be attractive to everyone. It's just the reality. I'm ok with someone letting me know they don't find me attractive so long as they aren't disrespectful about it
When I invited my then boyfriend (now husband) out, I always expected to pay. Just because he has a penis doesn’t mean that it’s always his responsibility to pay for a date, especially if I invited him.
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I've chased a lot of guys and a lot of them thought I wanted sex because I did so, even though I wasn't interested in that when starting to pursue them.
What I did find though is, I could put a great deal of effort into pursuing someone and finally getting them, and I had made them a PRIORITY but they made me an option. I always seemed second class to their friends and they seemed like they were more interested in other girls too, while with me.
Meaning they wouldn't want to get too serious but they didn't want me to go anywhere either and when I'd finally start to move on, then suddenly they'd be like "wait."
"I love you, but I don't want anything serious, but don't get away from me." is often how I felt.
I always made it a point that if he was chasing me to only get with him if I was also going to make him a priority, to avoid making him feel how others had made me feel. Otherwise I'd try to politely let him know I really wasn't interested.
I also ALWAYS insisted no matter who asked out, we both pay for ourselves, so no expectations. Didn't matter if I asked him or he asked me. No paying for the other. I would make that clear up front, so no surprises later.
That and meet at a place, no pickups for safety concerns.
If a woman chases a man he will never see her as anything but 2nd or 3rd option while he imagines there's better out there. It's like if you're walking down the street and someone is giving out free food samples. You eat it but it doesn't mean you'll put the restaurant at the top of your dining list. It was free. As to the idea that you went after the wrong men -- yeah but i'd say if a guy is the right guy he doesn't accept free meals if he's looking for serious.
Women are raised and live in their fucking fairytale from Disney when they were young and later stupid romantic movies where the tall good looking prince comes to save her very time she does some stupid shit and he wants to marry her just because she "exists"
Life is not like that women are never told how to treat a guy how to talk to them how to keep your man once u get him or how to do fucking anything
And men were raised always in terms of how to be nice to girls how to be this that do this or that. Guys stopped giving a fuck anymore because most women are not worth the time and effort we put into them to later get divorced or cheated on or live in a sexless no passion marriage with someone who once was a totally different person before this stupid idea of " house career and kids" the fucking American dream BULLSHIT
They don't approach men very often because they're mortified of rejection & most of them shatter like glass although they love to put men through it. They like to receive validation which boosts their ego, rejection does HEAVY damage. I create a wake when I go out, Armani + platinum jewelry, some of them even stare with mouth agape. I've had them signal in about every way imaginable including sitting on my lap.
I've never once had one ask me out although I have had a few slip me their phone number. I've been told by female friends I can come of as intimidating though I don't see how unless it's my standards / boundaries. I show most women apathy on the surface, a consequence of being used for validation, now they have to earn my attention or go without it.
I don't approach men. I don't believe it is lady like since I was raised in a conservative/traditional type family. coming from Asian descent. I believe men should approach first. My boyfriend is the one who approached me. I know some ladies who would approach guys first and who are too easy going or desperate to find a boyfriend, they tend to get heartbroken/cheated on. Though I know 2 girls who met their bfs that they're the ones who approached first because some guys can be shy or some guys like a girl who approaches them. I guess it depends on the person :)
I was raised that a REAL woman NEVER chases after a man.
Has nothing to do with power as more self-respect, self-esteem, etc. And one merely has to look around to see that typically the women who chase men have neither.
There are exceptions where a businesswoman may chase after a man who has more clout than her. Or say a female lawyer pursue a male lawyer she knows of.
But the typical woman who chases a man is a) a slut, b) a whore, c) a golddigger, etc., etc., etc. Undesirable. And desperate.
I would never ever chase a man. The reason is because guys tend to assume the woman is desperate, easy, goes after other guys, etc.
Disclaimer: I know... Not ALL men think that, but since I don't have the ability to read their mind I would rather not approach.
Someone else brought up an interesting scenario:
If you were 46, single your whole life, and your dream man was in a room, and he openly stated (by coincidence) that he was single, would you really let him leave without doing a single thing? No, the guy isn't going to notice you in a room full of other people and come to you and be your personal Prince Charming, in case you're thinking that. Would you really let him leave, if that was the case?
I can't really answer that honestly. I've been married since I was 25. I still don't think I would though (which would probably be the reason I was still single in that scenario). First, I'm shy in real life. Second are the reasons I stated above. I would also feel fake and silly because I don't approach men. That would leave me having to explain (and hoping the guy believes me) that, "I've never done this before." So awkward!
I’ve had women ask me to buy them drinks. I find that rude and presumptuous. If really young relatives or close friends’ daughters are hunting at birthday or Christmas presents, that’s one thing. But, if you go out to a bar, I didn’t invite you, I didn’t even know you prior to going to get a bite to eat, don’t expect me to pay for anything. I’m
Yeah, maybe you could do it that way women who are interested in men. If you are at all interested in us. Approach us and just say hello and we can go from there. I am clearly tired of asking women out (when I do find the courage).
There were a number of women that rejected me (when I did formally ask them out) whom I really regret did because not only was I going to treat them well. I really did like them.
I am a point now where I am just tired of the game. I am also getting older now so maybe I won't worry about it anymore (as more and more women won't be interested in me) I suppose due to age and also my age has reminded me I am mortal and would like to get on with what I call life phases before my time is up.
I think it's way simpler than that. The way things are nowadays, women have no reason to go after anyone because everyone comes to them through social media or dating apps. Men are the majority in dating apps and are the ones making more advances, so women can choose. If they actually go after anyone, something I don't doubt that happens, it's because they actually want to.
Why are you asking us? All I've heard from what women have said is that approaching makes them look desperate, which is unattractive. So they think men won't like them if they approach them.
Be honest about someone else's internal reasoning? Can we read minds?
This might tie into it, but it's not my main motivation.
My desire is to feel valuable to him. If he isn't actively pursuing me, than how valuable am I?
@LilyoftheLake If you entered a room and your dream man was in that room (whoever you believe that is) would you allow him to walk out of the room w/out saying anything to him?
You would be very valuable. Many guys, myself included, place value in women who take the initiative. He would value you for valuing him.
@Vegasrunner Okay, that is a fair point. No, at that point, I'd be approaching him and basically throwing myself at his feet. No games, no questions. If he's THAT guy, pride and personal desires go out the window.
I suppose that's true; men appreciate feeling needed, yes?
@LilyoftheLake Exactly and I'm guessing if he says yes to you, the last question you'll be asking yourself is about your value. It's not a matter of men "feeling" needed its simply the reality that the only thing that matters in relationships is how the woman "feels" about you. Many women claim they want to be pursued but in reality a woman rarely settles w/ the type of man that pursues instead she is going to try to get the type of man that made you feel the way you just described.
@Vegasrunner
I agree with you, but the one you're talking to is gay (into women). So she's not going to be thinking the same way a typical hetero woman is.
@mcheetah I did not know that thanks for sharing. You're probably correct, but I think the anecdote is still applicable
@Vegasrunner I am LITERALLY bisexual, leaning towards men. He just likes to insist that I must be lesbian.
I LITERALLY have a boyfriend, MCheetah. Stop calling me gay.
@LilyoftheLake I understand however what I believe @mcheetah point is that because you also have experience dealing w/ women your response is going to be different from a typical hetro woman. I noticed that in how you answered my response. It was completely unique from any other Female to Male response I've seen on GAG. The fact that you're bisexual is only relevant in the fact that I've never met a straight woman w/ communication skills like yours
@Vegasrunner
For me personally, if you f*ck the same gender, you're gay. End of story. People can give it whatever synonyms they want, but a dude doesn't suck another dude off in a public restroom stall and then pretend like he's into women or that women should be "flattered" to be with him. I know other people don't agree with me, but the same logic applies as far as I'm concerned. No straight person admits to being into the same gender.
But yes, I was saying straight women think differently from lesbians and vice versa.
Lol I do suppose that fits in with the masculine mindset for the most part. But what makes the sexual attraction to one gender outweigh the other in your opinion?
@mCheetah You make an interesting point but I could see how someone could be considered Bisexual if they literally have sex w/ both genders what else would you call them?
@Vegasrunner
I call it gay. I honestly don't believe "bisexuality" is real with 90-95% of people who claim it is. They're either straight ("heteroflexible") or still in the closet. Maybe I just can't comprehend how someone can like complete opposites like males and females equally. I can't comprehend that being real. But I *can* imagine a lot of straight girls pretending just for woke points and to attract simp and cuck men by kissing another girl. Or lesbians pretending to be "into men" like they did decades before homosexuality was socially acceptable.
That's an interesting point on it. I agree that most "bi" girls (myself included) is less about sexual attraction to women and more about finding them aesthetic and not being opposed to sexual relations with them.
In any case, I haven't yet met in person anyone who TRULY claims to like both sexes equally - they always have a preference.
@mcheetah Have you ever had a threesome w/ 2 women?
@Vegasrunner
If you're talking to me about that question... I have zero interest in being cucked by two lesbians. I even had women in the past suggest that to me, and I told them to go to Hell. I can't understand why anyone would want a three-way, anyway. Most people can't even satisfy one partner completely. Three-ways are a huge turn-off for me, especially knowing my partner was gay.
@mcheetah Lol, I was asking because it would test your theory. As you would find out if the woman prefers men or women more or both equally. After your comment I thought about it I've had quite a few threesomes. Typically when its two women that introduce the idea they are into women when its me and a chick addiding another girl, the women usually like men more so that goes more to your point.
I think the primary reasons are that most don't feel comfortable doing it and they think it's the guy's job. Doesn't bother me because I wouldn't want to wait for someone to do it- I like to take the initiative
No I think it’s more of a traditional thing and women like the attention
Yeah its true. Thats why i have been rejecting women who fall in this category. They just don't put the work. It has to be mutual. Women putting half the work and we would do the same
Oh, it’s true. If you stop chasing them, then you’ll see them get desperate
I don't think that's it--no.
Probably evolutionary and social reasons
Do women chase yeah, but it's rare
Question should be aimed at girls.
No, they do it in the hope of making money.
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