Why should men pursue women and not the other way around?

[chris_987]

[Mishan97]

I think cause guys attach more value to women they perceive as unattainable. So if a girl makes herself seem too available or too eager, most guys tend to lose interest. Also it’s just more common for men to be the ones pursuing so I think society has sorta conditioned us women to expect a man to pursue us if he’s attracted to us, and if he doesn’t pursue us then we take it as he doesn’t find us attractive. Obviously there are plenty of exceptions to this. Some guys just might be shy! But generally this is true.

[chris_987]

Girl that have crush on a guy should wait for him to approach her. But I’ve only be with girls that liked me first. So I must be different

[Tiffany_Taylor_Made]

Approaching men "always" would only increase the chances of women getting with men that lack confidence and ambition. Allowing a man to approach is a great way to test his confidence level and his drive, mainly because a man lacking confidence would be afraid to approach, and if he had the drive, he would do the approaching himself in the first place. If he likes women, but he doesn't want to go get those women and want them to come to him, that says a lot about him. He likely has that same mentality for life in general and likely would want his woman to do many things for him to make his life easier. The thing is, in relationships, we want a man, not a son. Also, you have those overly macho types that don't like to be approached by women. They believe that approaching is a masculine thing to do.

[chris_987]

I don’t approach women not because I lack confidence but because I live at home and it would hard to pursue a relationship with someone will trying to respect you parents house too. But as for confident women have a issue with guys cheating on them and not being loyal. So it seem that while you allowing more confident guys to approach you, your also allowing more guys who now how to manipulate girls and get what they want from them which is sex. So you can have a guy that not confident with girls but he might be a virgin so he’ll probably never cheat on you, or you can have guys that leave once they have sex.

[Tiffany_Taylor_Made]

@chris_987: The best thing to do in that situation is to move out your parents' house. The possibility exists that any man could cheat or be disloyal, even the ones you approach. However, it's up to the woman to determine if the man is loyal or not. The best way to prevent being used for sex is to hold off on sex for the first few dates, and have the man pay for those dates. Men that usually want something serious are more willing to make sacrifices to be with that person. Although it might be small early on, spending money is a sacrifice. If a man has no problem paying and is willing to wait after the first few dates before sex, then he is likely more loyal than the guy that doesn't want to pay and is more sex driven. Also, virgins and unconfident guys can still cheat too. Also, if a guy does leave after sex, as long as he paid for the dates before sex, then it's not entirely a lose/lose situation for the woman.

[chris_987]

I tried to follow you but you contradicted everything you said. So if there no way of now anything why have the rule that the guys should approach you first? If all men cheat why even say you only want confident guys.

Also most people have a hard time moving out when houses are over a million dollars. You’re more likely to become homeless than afford a house.

[Warmapplecrumble]

Because there are less women, they die during childbirth etc, unless you are a king and kidnap them it's kind of hard to win them over, because they are needed to keep humanity going. But obviously now we are told humanity is no longer needed. So things are changing such as dynamics of a family and relationships are not sustainable anymore.

[chris_987]

I agree, people just want sex and not a family

[Warmapplecrumble]

Yeah. It's really sad. The people at the top have done everything to ruin all relationships.

[KBird]

I always found, especially with online dating, that if I messaged first (which I enjoy doing), I would often get a response. However after a conversation with them, they wouldn't follow up, or try and keep the conversation going. This happened most of the time, rarely would it ever move to a date. I found that if I waited to be messaged first, then the conversation would keep going.

[chris_987]

But do you expect the guys to take control afterwards and plan a date. Or messaging first is as far you go

[KBird]

At that point, we probably have been messaging for awhile and it feels comfortable. If Im feeling the vibe, and they haven't asked me out, Ill definitely propose a date. I like it when a guy plans a fun, unique date for sure, as it shows he's really eager and excited to meet me. But, I've also dated guys that are more shy, or like when women take the lead. When I was talking to friends, they were shocked when I said "I would ask a guy out", because they thought that I would come off as "too forward". I love being involved in planning dates, I feel if Im not asking them out equally, its off balance, or it shows Im not as invested or interested as they are.

[chris_987]

Well the way I see it is. If I’ve been alive for 30plus years anytime a girl has approached me it for money or to join her onlyfans. So you get to a point where it would be nice for girls to show interest and get to know you without any alternative motive. So some guys are just skeptical that girls even are attracted to guys and only see us opportunity to get money or a free meal.

[KBird]

I feel that a lot of women won't ask a man out because they don't know if he feels the same way, or if he's interested. Im horrible at flirting, and I usually can't tell when someone is flirting with me, and I often think they're just being friendly. Yes, there is the fear of being rejected. And I think everyone has that to an extent, but I feel if you don't 'take the leap' you'll never know, and Id much rather be turned down than left wondering would he have said yes? But like I said, Im a lot more "ballsy" than my friends are at that.
At least with online dating most of the time you know people swipe right because they are interested in the possibility of meeting you. However, online dating can be sketchy and people do use it to find sugar daddy's/babies. I went a long time without dating anyone because I wasn't interested in anyone I was really talking to or meeting.
Additionally at a young age, I was taught (as many women are) that men love to chase, and if they aren't chasing then they aren't interested, or fully invested. And I think most women deep down want to find someone who adores them, or would die to be with them (not in a clingy way). Thats why I think women believe that men should pursue them rather than the other way around.

[chris_987]

I can say that in all my year of living on this planet I’ve never heard a guy say he hates when women chase, the only people I hear say that are women. My guess is because it’s not lady like to chase men. You even used the words balls to describe you being able to approach men. Which implies it a masculine thing to do. Most men are just amazed that a girl is actually showing interest in them because we’ve been taught that the only way to keep a girl interested is by having money. So we become jaded and think that women don’t really like men only our money. And if you’re like me and have non, women drop you like hot potato regardless of your feelings.

That why they say women are human beings and men are human doings. Human being can just be human they don’t have bring anything to the table. Men are human doings, we have to be doing something to be considered human. I just want to be a human being like women are and be loved for who I am not what I do or am not doing.

[KBird]

Just as men are taught that women will only like them for their money, women are taught that they should not chase men. They're just stereotypes. Sometimes true for some people, but I couldn't disagree with them more.
Im sorry that you've had that experience. I know other women like me exist, women that don't care about whether you have money or not. What matters to me though (and Im not saying you're like this, Im just saying in general) is that if you don't have money because you don't have a job and aren't actively searching for one, that would be a big red flag. But if you are actively searching for a job, or if you have a job and still aren't making much, but at least are working, then I really don't care. I don't expect guys to pay for me, and I won't be a sugar baby. I want to make my own money, and depend only on myself.

[chris_987]

But that why guys are confused if we are the same shouldn’t women not care about money just like men. If we we’re honest with ourselves and had clear roles we wouldn’t be so confused. If a man knew it was his job to provide stability for his girlfriend and a woman knew it was her job provide love and affection maybe we would be so confused as to who should approach who. I don’t approach girls anymore because I realize that if I stopped talking to girl I wouldn’t talk to them ever again because there all waiting for me to approach them. We’re as women are constantly approach so they get to choose.

[Hangry22]

Because most guys will always have a girl in their mind they're planning to pursue or get into a relationship with. So if another girl tries to pursue him, she's just wasting her time since he will be annoyed

[chris_987]

That sounds like something specific to you

[Hangry22]

I didn't get you

[chris_987]

You believe all men have a girls there attracted too so it doesn’t make sense to pursue them

[Hangry22]

Oh yes. This is from what i have observed. Guys if they're single, they will always have a girl in their mind

[chris_987]

Well I only like girls that like me and that’s what I’ve observed. Maybe I’m not a man

[Hangry22]

Hey i haven't observed every guy. And what i mean is a girl they have their eyes on but who also reciprocates their actions and pursuing

[chris_987]

I’m sure observe more guys you get older and see some things differently

[Screenwriter]

Women pursue men. Just not as many as the other way around. You have to look out for what you want in life. If you're more laid back and would enjoy a more assertive woman, you'll have to keep your eyes and ears peeled.
They're out there.

[chris_987]

It’s has nothing to do with being assertive, girls go after a guy that qualified like he’s either married or rich and famous. That what I’ve seen out of life.

[Screenwriter]

I'm talking about in general. I've never gone after a married guy or someone rich and famous. I want someone available who appeals to me. You're talking about "gold diggers," per se. Women who want moeny, want to be kept. That's a very limited class of females and ones who are ethically challenged. I'm talking about regular women who don't wait around for a guy to talk to them first.

[chris_987]

I don't know if you’ve noticed this but morals have pretty much dissolved. Woman are becoming more immoral day by day. I have never met a woman who didn’t want abortion to be illegal. So being attracted to a man that’s married and chasing after money is now a way of life for most women.

[Screenwriter]

You must be hanging around with very strange women. Though I've always KNOWN about said women and friends have reported they've MET said women, I don't know any personally.
These gold diggers are a flashy minority.
A woman who wants a married man, doesn't want a relationship. They want an affair. Affairs are never satisfying for anybody unless you WANT to be alone.
My 25 year old son is dating women who are not chasing after money and he is single. He also isn't affluent. So, you might need to find healthier women to be around.

[chris_987]

Why do I have to find them, there more than welcome to find me. Maybe there not looking for guys like me

[Screenwriter]

I think it's good to put out SOME effort. Why don't you see where it gets you? Being a guy, you are at a disadvantage when it comes down to that. Check out reputable matchup sites like Match. com. Guys contact women and women contact guys. I've used it and met someone nice.

[chris_987]

Naww I’ll just stick to my hobbies, if women have decided that it a mans job to pursue them, then they can have those guys. I’d rather not bend to their will and chase after them I’ll just do my own thing.

[MissGeorgia]

I think it should be up to the individual whether they approach the person they are attracted to or not.

[Dazed0N0Confused]

I think it should work both ways, but it's a personal preference in the end

[chris_987]

So no reason why it’s better one way or the other

[CoolKatie]

I went I tried to pursue men they always end up cheating or just want to end things. yep this has happened a lot to me. I think men just like a challenge more to get him more interest

[chris_987]

Luckily you have that option of not chasing men

[CoolKatie]

yet it never get me anywhere.

[chris_987]

So if chase men got you nowhere and letting men chase you gets you nowhere what are your other options?

[CoolKatie]

the only opition is online dating at the time.

[chris_987]

Oh and guys pursue you online or do you pursue them.

[CoolKatie]

I tried both and hasn't gotten anywhere. you can PM me if you find any isuse.

[chris_987]

Ok but you’d have to follow me back

[TacosRAwesome]

Don't think there is a should but men approaching women seems to work better than women approaching men on average.

[chris_987]

It’s rarely happens so you can’t say for certain

[Anonymous]

If they want ti pursue a guy they can pursue a guy dude don't be like that

[chris_987]

It’s ok I’ll be how I wanna

[Opinion Owner]

Lol k Jason

[MsLivy]

We sometimes do

[chris_987]

Why not always

[MsLivy]

Personally I'm a lazy bastard

[chris_987]

So pursuing someone takes work?

[MsLivy]

Can do

[chris_987]

What’s hard about pursuing someone