Why don’t men actively pursue women these days, it’s as if they want us to chase them?

[Anonymous]

Is it they are just not that interested or they have too many options?

[Maladroita]

It’s a push and pull. Nobody should be pursuing because that implies someone is running away. I get pursued constantly, but it’s because I make it easy for men to feel not threatened.

Most men aren’t aggressively making the first move. Usually he looks, smiles, and then you can encourage him. Then the man will escalate usually or if you are too eager a lot of them pull back. But if you pull back a little while still being friendly, he will be more bold, at least if he decided he was interested after all.

When he escalates to a touch or teasing then you show him how turned on you are by him but you don’t say anything sexual, you just show him, like you can’t help it. If you are feeling sexual your eyes and body language and your voice will show it.

I think women (like some men) do hot and cold but this is not push and pull. Hot and cold is something a crazy person does and it doesn’t feel good. Push and pull keeps it friendly and sexual tension without making the other person feel off balance.

[devilish-cutie]

I think men aren't reqlly chasers as they are made out to be by society. I know cause im kinda go getter person. But do agree they aren't really putting much effort anymore compared to before. I think thats laregly do to the fact that women changed and dont need to nor want to tolerate mens crap. So they dont know anymore how to act. They were raised differently but world is changing.

[StunningANDbrave]

When women start acting like women, the men will start wanting to put in the effort.
"I think thats laregly do to the fact that women changed and dont need to nor want to tolerate mens crap"
No, it's simply because we have no interest in dealing with a bitch that is disparaging towards us while providing nothing of value to our lives.

[devilish-cutie]

@StunningANDbrave I honestly dont know what its a definition "to act like a woman" as we are all human being. Im literally a woman so however I act, I act like a woman. I was raised pretty raditionally, that men are chasers, strong, brave. Yet that honestly hasn't been in my experience in life. I was much brave and initiative than almost all men I met. Bravery seem to be personality trait that has nothing much with gender and all with personality. Bravery generally is rare. If men were brave etc. pr however men in general are perceived hey would act that way no matter how women act. If those men pout cause women are "Too strong" they are literally not being "manly" as by their defult their are stronger than women so it would be normal then for them to dominate women, not complain they act stronger. I have no intent to praise a man and be all awed by him if he is literally being less competent than I am. Im not that type of fake gal and most men literally want and ask to be manipulated. Then they complain about how women are vague and what not.

[StunningANDbrave]

"Im literally a woman so however I act, I act like a woman." Nope, you are trying to act like a man. You seem to have a clear definition of how men are supposed to act so I think you can understand what I'm saying by women not acting like women. When men hear that a woman is "strong" they know that translates to bring bitchy and disparaging towards men while usually having an overinflated sense of self worth "narcissism", saying men are weak for not wanting to deal with that is idiotic, no one wants to deal with that shit.

"I have no intent to praise a man and be all awed by him if he is literally being less competent than I am"
There is nothing wrong with your view on this, but you should also understand that you are essentially saying that a man should be masculine much the same way I'm saying women should be femenin.

[devilish-cutie]

@StunningANDbrave I was just following your narative on what society condsiders how men should act and how women should. Personaly i think that view is damaging to both as both should be their individual self based on their personality. Strong women are considered bitchy n narcisistic? Why then strong men aren't considered the same? Literally makes no sense. I personwlly actuwlly much prefer men that are more caring and w good emotional intelligence. I dont care much about mans career or money. Im more interested in his looks and him not acting lile a whore. These are honestly my personal preferences.

[StunningANDbrave]

It is more damaging to push a narrative that suggest that men and women are equal. We are not, we are fundamentally different, and there is nothing wrong with this. Masculine and feminine complement each other and have their own sets of strengths and weaknesses.

[devilish-cutie]

@StunningANDbrave People mistake word equal for the same. Equality is about same respect and treatement
We are not the same but we are neither the set of societys ideals of what is considered masculin or feminin. Thats a lie. As i said eg. bravery has nothing to do with gender. Nor are men less emotional etc. That had to change. Personaly i was so disappointed finding out men are not as i was raised to believe they were and feeling bad for im not as a lady society expects me to be.

[StunningANDbrave]

Respect should be earned and not given to people by default regardless. As for masculine and feminine being a lie is a lie on itself. The bottom line factor is that women desire masculine men, they do not care for men that do themselves a disservice by being weak, and men do not desire masculine women. Even if me or you do not like this it is grounded in reality. This very post is of a woman being dissatisfied with men being passive.

[devilish-cutie]

@StunningANDbrave I think everyone should be reapected as defult as fellow human being but respect can be lost if you dont act as fellow human being. I do agree many women want "manly" men and men "feminin" women yet do wonder how much we are brainwashed ibto that. Also this is in theory what people think but do you see people around you having relationships in that dynamic? Not really. There r also sorts of people and types of relationships. There sure r certain attractive traits but its attractive for both genders like confidence or kindness. Its also traditional atory how most women care about man earning a lot of money but so many date complete bums.

[StunningANDbrave]

"I do agree many women want "manly" men and men "feminin" women yet do wonder how much we are brainwashed into that."
I see what you're saying but I don't not at all believe this is a social thing. I think regardless of how society is men and women will still find their opposites attractive.
"There sure are certain attractive traits but its attractive for both genders like confidence or kindness."
Indeed but there is still masculine and feminine traits.
"Its also traditional atory how most women care about man earning a lot of money but so many date complete bums"
But are those men more masculine? Women will leave a rich weak man to fuck a broke alpha. Having money and status is icing on the cake.

[devilish-cutie]

@StunningANDbrave The only real difference between men and women I see is physical. Everything else is debatable. I agree we are different but those diffeences aren't really the ones that are presented to be. As women and men both can be brave, confident, highly emotional, kind etc. No matter what you believe, its not proven that our social differences aren't mostly due to how we were raised and how society set the rules for gender. I do think however that certain things in our physical sense affect out mental sense. Eg. women have periods and therefore they have to much more worry then men. They cannot just go anywhere relaxed as they have to think did i bring my tampon just in case, i need a bag to put it into to carry it in it etc (same thing w pregnancy worry). We do search for partner that would fullfill us. Women are weaker and want men that will protect them (but that can be just physical). Women want men that are competent again cause we are weaker and we can get pregnant and we want someone to take care of us especially if we get in that vulnerable state. Men want someone they can be vulnerable with as they are also emotional etc.

[StunningANDbrave]

"The only real difference between men and women I see is physical."
What about the fact that our hormones are different? We respond to things differently, we communicate differently, our brains are wired differently? These things are different because men and women are fundamentally different like I mentioned.
"Women are weaker and want men that will protect them (but that can be just physical). Women want men that are competent again cause we are weaker and we can get pregnant and we want someone to take care of us especially if we get in that vulnerable state. Men want someone they can be vulnerable with as they are also emotional etc."
So in other words you are saying women want masculine men, I agree and men should be able to take care of their women when they are vulnerable. As for what you mentioned about men wanting someone vulnerable with that isn't what men want out of women and it also isn't something women want to see out of their men.

[devilish-cutie]

@StunningANDbrave i do agree that in brain we seem to function differently but unsure completely about that one as its not fully proven and how much is qlso affected by society. Men aren't naturqlly less emotional, that is something they choose due to standards society set for men. Women want men with certain traits that are masculine but also with feminine like being kind and caring too. Women want men to be sometimes vulnerable with them but strong in general and in front od others. We both posses feminin n masculin traits. Its bad to kill one side of ysf. But in any further discussion one should define what is exactly feminin n what masculin. Cause if its masculin to be confident, both women n men lile that in opposite gender. If feminin is to be komd, both women and men want that in opposite gender...

[TheBigGuy9]

Men in your age group are not chasers. No no no. They’re the first generation where social media hit them and they haven’t left since. Many women too. They’re lost in space. They’re jagging off to fake characters on GTA 5. Weird thing is if they are getting any women, they’re paying for it.

[InfobotLives]

A lot of it is to do with the shift in the balance between the sexes. It's a case of why should they chase women? Why shouldn't women chase them? Furthermore, men and particularly white men are given such a negative press by so many women that men feel less inclined to go out of their way for women who essentially don't value them anyway. Then there is the whole consent and #metoo thing where men are more fearful of any romantically forward gestures being construed or painted as harassment. It would be easy to say that men should know the difference between a respectful approach and harassment but then this is the era of social media witch hunts and being cancelled regardless of any trial or conviction.

In short, women might have to start making the ground a lot more themselves. For men it's becoming a minefield.

[Dchrls78104]

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Women have become insanely entitled, narcissistic, and volatile... they are not worth pursuing.
Approaching a female is like drinking poison and hoping you don’t die.
If the girl likes you great, but the odds are she doesn’t and if she is a c word, she will destroy your life simply for showing attention with some false accusation bullshit or she will want you to play her bullshit games or pass her shit tests where at any point if you don’t pass all the check boxes you are done.

[TheBigGuy9]

Oh man. I wish I could say I understand, but I’ve never come close to any of those situations. You live in the big city or something?

[Opinion Owner]

@TheBigGuy9 Yeah but if you look at most places around the world, women are like it everywhere.

[jgokgotit]

Has nothing to do with interests or options. Men do not chase women because of the risk of being accused of stuff and losing everything they worked hard for. Today, all a woman has to do is point at a man and say he raped her. Can even be a total stranger. Once she makes her accusation, his life is practically over. Even if he is found to be innocent, many people will still shun him, thinking the courts got it wrong. Because if a woman says he did it he must be guilty right? It is simply not a risk worth taking.

[Browneye57]

No, women have made it clear they don't want to be pursued. Remember? It's 'creepy'.

Unless he's obviously super good looking and has a ton of dough, you just think he's an ass anyway.

You stupid women have made your bed, now lie in it. Good fukkin luck.

[TheBigGuy9]

That’s only men your age. They’re o early pussified. Play video games, jerk off online, very narcissistic, many that follow politics which has turned them into beta males.


Fun fact: For the first time in 150 years, more men and women live at home with mommy and daddy than live with a spouse.


Your next choice? Date a Gen Z or move up to Gen Xers

[MrHopper]

It takes a lot of guts and courage to ask some one out... its a lot of hassle and stress and its always traditionally been down to the men to do... Although we would be really freaked out if a girl pursued us, we would think she was running some sort of scam or con job... always bothers me in films when the guy has some girl well out of his league take an interest in him, every guy knows that just doesn't happen, alarm bells ringing!!

[Anonymous]

Quite frankly hun what is exactly that you possess that would be worthy of our efforts?
I mean companionship is good but my dog gives me companionship and he doesn't try to sleep with any of my friends. Compare me to other owners. He never tells me I'm not good enough. So please explain to us. Why should we want b to chase you? What's in it for us?

[Anonymous]

"as if they want us to chase them" - Exactly! Why do we have to do it? I believe men are doing it less because we are tired of the CONSTANT rejection! Just as you women would be. I stopped asking women out in high school. Because I've been rejected EVERY single time and I said to myself "Fu^& it, I'll stay single".

[StunningANDbrave]

Women don't respond well to guys chasing them and it's generally a waste of time. I think dudes collectively are saying fuck this I have more important things to do with my time.

[WesBrewer]

Many men want the women to ask first, also the way men are brought up they are either too lazy or too worried to ask a girl out.

[fred_durst]

there are only two type of men that exist today , this is also explain why women got cheated all the times

[boggboss]

Because enough women these days also make the first step

[boggboss]

Plus gender names of males being chasers kinda breaks down once we start to fill the same social space

[Ironic_Method]

I refuse to put energy towards someone who won't put the same energy in for me.

[Anonymous]

There are many reasons but basically dating and relationships have become too difficult these days. Women putting all the blame on men and not trying to figure out how they're driving men away is not helping the situation.

[Anonymous]

Because we don't want to be lined up against the wall and shot in the name of MeToo

[AmeerX]

Well if you like, message me anytime if you are single

[Anonymous]

There’s really not much left to chase... it’s more like “meh well I guess I’m tired of being alone, may as well settle for what’s available”

[Dchrls78104]

Because the risks outweigh the reward.

[Steinkopf]

Women are a minefield more than ever.

[Anonymous]

Metoo#

That's fucking why.