Why do men always need to feel like they’re the ones pursuing women?

[MissSunshine2]

When at least sometimes, you, the woman, are pursuing them?

[nolabels]

I think it's the other way around.

That women need to feel that the men whom they're pursuing are actually pursuing said woman.

It seems to work for the women.
The guys aren't quite so easily fooled.

I see it all the time.

It's not a 100% of the time rule, but still, yeah...

[msc545]

Because when we don't do this, women just ignore us for the most part.

[Anonymous]

There are cases where women do the pursuing, but they are relatively uncommon.

But you are incorrect to imply it's just because "men need to feel like they're the ones pursuing".

https://medium.com/@sandy-watt/women-like-to-be-pursued-heres-how-they-usually-hint-it-don-t-be-clueless-2a96770adbeb

[WindAtMyBack]

They do it because they have to.

"When at least sometimes"

"Sometimes" is the key word here. Extremely seldom qualifies as "sometimes". Even the rare case when a woman pursues, she probably waits for him to do it first. Or she gives hints and expects him to read her mind.

[Cyfris]

Not sure we need to feel that way. That is just usually how it goes down. It has been that way for centuries. The last girl I dated was all her doing. I even told her before we met I didn't see what she did in the potential. She insisted and I obliged. We had a couple months of fun and drifted apart as I expected we would.

[MontBlanc]

I don’t think it’s always about needing to pursue, sometimes it’s more about wanting to feel chosen, respected, and valued in a way that feels natural to them.

For some, pursuing can be how they express interest or effort but I think real connection happens when both sides meet each other with the same intention, not just one chasing and the other being chased.

[Berethor]

Because they believe that it's man's role, and more importantly because they believe that she pursuing other man's just as easily, and most men don't want to date a ho.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/No_Guy_Wants_to_Be_Chased

[Nikki1989]

By being the one to initiate, the man retains a sense of control over the pace and direction of the interaction. It is the bubble most men seem to live in. This is why when they are failing at relationships, they are quick to blame someone else, and it is usually women.

[capriVib]

It’s basically an unwritten law of nature at this point. Women want the guy to put in the work because they’re way more scared of being "the chaser" only to get rejected. They'd rather let the man struggle to start things than risk their own ego.

[MrChinaski]

Men don't have a womb.

We can swan around pretending to be refined, evolved, whatevers. But also realise the absurdity of doing so.

The biology is that a man's optimal strategy is to mate with many women. A few thousand years of civilisation doesn't overturn a billion years of evolution.

[MrChinaski]

It's the same reason that men are physically larger than women. It was never to fight mastodons. It is to fight each other, over women.

[Twodogs0525]

My experience is, women do the pursuing after she has been on a date with him and realizes there is a connection. Prior to that, she just makes herself available to him but he's usually the one asking her out.

[Sunshinelips]

Doesn’t the sperm swim to the egg? Men are natural pursuers.

[Wodens_Apprentice]

The same reason why women don't like to pursue men at all, despite living in a world where a man can be demonised for just flirting with a woman.

[Anonymous]

No idea what you're talking about. I've NEVER felt that way.

[MissSunshine2]

Maybe you’ve always been the one pursued by women 🙂

[Opinion Owner]

No. But I learned my pursuit was a waste of time. So after that I was always the one pursued. I have no problem pursuing. My attitude is the one who's interested should pursue be that a man or a woman. All these archaic dating rules do nothing but divide people. And we've gotten to the point where nobody trusts anyone and both genders just look to exploit the other. It's just very rare when I take a woman at her word when she shows interest in me. Most women are very transparent. So many are either predators. Or show predatory behavior and that's a quick turnoff to me. If she's interested show it by talking to me. Not trying flirt with me.

[dragoblack]

Because that is the cultural norm. If we don't pursue, we don't get relationships.

[Shrimpenjoyer]

Many (most?) women don't like approaching men, that's why.

[Ironco]

It's human nature. The male always pursues the female.

[Jennz6]

I chase guys sometimes

[Zionne]

that's totally fine if women would do so

[Grond21]

I don't feel that need

[slatyb]

Why do some men...