Why don't men pursue women anymore?

Question

Chicken?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

This isn't directed at you in particular - I'm just answering the question in a general sense.

To a lot of men, the cost and risks are WAY too high for the product being offered. Men bear some responsibility for this - simping behavior and so forth - but this is largely due to radical feminism teaching women that they needn't worry about what a man wants or needs, and for her to instead act like a man herself.

So many women bring so little to a relationship aside from pussy, and then get upset when men treat them like they only thing they're bring to the relationship is pussy. LOL. All this means is that guys who can get laid no longer have ANY reason to be in a relationship - is pussy is all he was going to get from the relationship, and he's already getting that, then why take on all the risks and responsibilities of a relationship?

And the guys who can't get laid are usually not guys that women want to be in relationships with anyway, so what they do is largely irrelevant.

For about two generations, most men followed the path they were taught: get a good career, build resources, find a woman, get married, and start a family. But far too may men got destroyed in the process, because women are financially incentivized to divorce men and strip them of resources. But having this happen to them, or seeing it happen to other men they knew, has woken up a lot of men, and they've recalculated the value that women are offering and the price they are expected to pay for it and have said "no, thank you." Lots of guys, in particular the most attractive guys that all the girls want, are realizing that they can still get laid - trading some attention for some sex (a fair trade that many people will agree too) - and then they continue on with their own lives. Some guys build a career or a business, and, yeah, some play videogames all day, or tinker on a car in the garage, or whatever, but they'd rather do that then have kids with a woman who takes them away and uses the state to enslave him.

The "MeToo" stuff is just one component of a much larger price that men are expected to pay, but men have realized that they can just choose to walk away instead - and they are, in growing numbers.

Of course, this is exactly what Radical Feminism set out to do. The movement (Third Wave Feminism) was started by Marxists who fully intended to destroy the relationships between men and women, and ESPECIALLY to destroy the nuclear family, because they knew that would weaken the society. And it has - you can see it everywhere you look.

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

I do or did, it’s a fun game.

sometimes you get shot down in flames and your mates get to laugh at your attempt, you dust yourself off and get back to it.

At school it was ask say 4 girls to get one to date you, you dated a month then realised you both sucked together. Back to asking, however you are now down 4 girls who you can’t really ask again… live breath repeat.

You have a laugh flirting, sometimes they flirt back and you move it up a level, sometimes they don’t and you keep it friendly banter.

I think perusing is the wrong term really, you don’t chase them, you set out how best to capture the prey.

Then you get blindsided because a girl asks you out and you never expected it 🤦😂

Lifelive96 · Accepted Answer

Because there are many options now. In the past, there was not social media. So, if they like someone they can pursue just her. But now there are many options so if she does not want him. He can write another. It is valid for women too. Because of the social media there are many options for the both genders. But this doesn’t mean that you can easily find ‘’ the one’’ from the options you have. Because people don’t have any patience to know someone it is harder to have deep, healthy relationships.

barefoot_babe · Accepted Answer

they're pussies nowadays

Finchie40 · Answer

Because most girls today have higher preferences on what they are looking for In a guy and most girls have a huge list of guys to choose from if she is beautiful and gets a lot of attention , thanks to the beautiful world of social media that I believe played a big part of destroying relationships and destroyed the way people treat each other and compare each other , so most guys don’t feel they measure up to her preferences , a guy needs to feel wanted as well so when he flirts with a girl or shows interest in her he is hoping for the same in return , Most girls will just wait until a guy initiates contact first but if she never initiated a conversation with him after he showed interest in her , then he feels she isn’t into him and just wasting his time , A guy doesn’t want
To feel like a convenience, and most girls today just like the convenience of guys cuz they have so many to choose from, If a guy doesn’t feel confident in himself then that’s another reason he won’t pursue a girl , or if he doesn’t measure up to her preferences he will back down , I showed interest in a beautiful girl and she tells me she likes guys with beards , So I thought ok since I don’t have a beard that’s a reason you won’t date me? So it’s preferences like that girls tend to hold onto that are dumb as fuck but just the way it is today , So some lucky guy with a beard is going to have a chance with her , Dumbest shit ever , So sadly , if I Feel I don’t measure up to her standards then why waste my time , she will easily turn her head for another guy that has a beard lol , So it can be a lot of reasons a guy won’t pursue a girl , if he feels another guy is in better shape than he is , or has better job than he does , so many reasons that guys today feel they don’t measure up to her preferences. Social media contributes to image mainly , brainwashing people to believe they need to look a certain way to be considered attractive , and accepted , a guy feels like she will eventually trade him or cheat on him for someone more attractive so why pursue someone that is eventually going to get sick of you , it’s easier for guys to just try to get laid and move on Most marriages and relationships today don’t last because people Cheat left and right and have affairs etc , So why give your heart to someone that is going to more than likely shit on it , I know it’s bullshit but that’s what people believe nowadays cuz they are brainwashed from what they see on social media , and constantly compare their lives to others and think grass is greener on the other side , most People today don’t fix their relationships they run to someone else to save them. If people actually put their phones down for 6 months they will see reality and realize that social media is a bunch of bullshit

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Because the juice isn’t worth the squeeze.

I look around and I don’t see happily married men. I see miserable guys working their butts off for ungrateful wives. Only for them to lose half of what they own to her in the long run because of no fault divorce laws.

You can call us chickens, but ultimately what do men get out of marriage? Be honest with yourself at least. Companionship can be from good friends or pets. Sex you can get from hookups or casual dating. You can even pay for it if you’re really bad off. An extra paycheck isn’t all that much more in the long run, especially these days and cleaning isn’t a big deal if you live alone. Kids are the only thing men can’t get elsewhere, and they’re always the ones to suffer most with divorce.

There are good women out there, and I’m sure a lot of good women have given up on dating for similar reasons, but trying to shame guys just isn’t going to work anymore. If you really want to start to fix things, push for equality in divorce court.

RolandCuthbert · Answer

Oh, it is intimidating. Here, I just don't think men and women will ever see eye to eye. From the standpoint of most men (most of the "males"), most women only wish to be "pursued" by the men they are attracted to.

Which is why men develop or at least need to develop differently. We simply can't be putting all our eggs into one basket. That's why I always advise men who are getting frustrated with rejection to stop taking women and relationships so seriously. Just get in the habit of dating. I never said anything about sex. Men need to date and date often. They need to develop the skills that go with asking women out, finding the right woman, understanding how to impress women, etc.

But it is a challenge. It is not easy.

And I think on the whole social cues thing, we will never be on the same page. I didn't figure out social cues until after I was married and into my 30s. But again, it takes practice. We keep forgetting to tell men and boys that.

caring__1 · Answer

People tend to be more likely to criticize and attack than in the past, so that leads to more caution. Until people start prioritizing making sure others feel safe, I believe the distance will continue to grow. People are reluctant to pursue if they are seeing so many people lashing out at others and being so insensitive about the financial cost to the other.

Relationships aren't about what we're entitled to receive from them, but what we bring to them that adds to the life of a partner. Unfortunately, people rarely pay attention to this nowadays. If women want to be pursued, show an interest and be considerate of others. Guys are lousy mind readers, so don't play games and expect them to understand. All it takes to see men interested is to show interest yourself (to even the playing field and not put it all on the guys) and show through your actions you are considerate of others (even if they are different or disagree with you), animals and our earth. Relationships are about building what is best for both, not selfish acquisitions.

t-8900 · Answer

For me so many are just willing to cheat or do things behind my back. Women today are extremely flighty in general. The first sign of any sort of issue in a relationship and they just run, even when its not that hard of an issue to fix with some actual communication. Ghosting is a huge time waster as well. A big thing for me is worrying about her real intentions. Is she here to entrap me or actually be with me? I'm going to go off divorce rates and filing statistics and say that 47% of women are just terrible people, period. That still means that a slight majority of women are still good. So you have a 53% chance of finding a nice gal. But that other chance is getting destroyed in more ways than one. I was absolutely crush one time by a girl I asked out and it has affected my entire dating life since.

Women don't understand how much an man's pride and dignity mean to him and they'll never be able to get us to completely let go of it. That's just part of who we are, it's a guy thing you just wouldn't understand even if you tried. I'll tell you about this chick that destroyed me. So I kind of liked this girl for a little while. After about 6 weeks I mustered the courage to finally ask her out. Her response? "OH MY GOD! WHY ON EARTH WOULD I EVER GO OUT WITH SOMEONE AS FAT AND UGLY AS YOU?" in front of the whole damn gym class. Do you know how broken I was in that moment? I'm 31 now, I STILL feel that shit to this day.

That was THE LAST time I ever asked a girl out again. Since then only women have asked me out and I'm currently with one who asked me out and then asked if we could be official but that I had to say we were. So I did and since then np. We had a shaky start but she saw the real me and what I can bring to the table from my heart. that's why even though it started out kind of rough we're stronger now then we've ever been.

GoodManDave · Answer

Nobody... NOBODY calls me chicken, Wowwgirl. ::Decides to race, hits a Studebaker, damages hand, gets sued, life unravels::

"Scared?" Meh... just... not interested in getting screamed at, or publicly embarrassed.

I don't pursue at the moment, partly because of being wary or tired of getting screamed at in public (let alone in private)... partly concern over divorce and break up statistics. Partly, bad history with insane, toxic women and it's getting worse (in non romantic context)...

I'd say it's more apathy and frustration than "fear" - but whatever. You work because you're afraid (deep down). Everything could ultimately stem from a fear or need to have food, shelter, etc (those "caveman" basic needs) - If you don't work, you're "afraid" of losing your apartment or house and being homeless, right? You can't find a decent job, and you're afraid of not being able to eat... or having stuff repossessed. I mean - deep down. But I wouldn't say that person is fearful as opposed to more disinterested in the consequences of not being able to pay bills.

But honestly, I'm also a bit busy at the moment. Now I should work out and lose weight (and get buff), figure out how to do my job and earn 50K a year while balancing everything else (which I'm not doing well enough balancing all that now) - I'm spread way too thin, and get little to no support, and now I should actively pursue women when they act sick of me in general. Doesn't sound like a blast to me.

224466881010 · Answer

I don't think you realize just how much you take for granted. Plenty of guys have gotten in trouble for flirting. The line between harassment and flirting is very blurry, changes with each person and sure as hell isn't easy to know without a certain amount of experience that you can't get unless you make mistakes.

As much as MeToo can be seen as a retaliation against toxic masculinity, MGTOW, Red Pill, Black Pill, etc. are reactions to toxic femininity. There are more gray areas then black or white areas. One could see MGTOW or MeToo equally as nothing more than abstract manifestations of the dance between men and women with roots in the modern context but their effect is not trivial. Sure, there are plenty of normal and moderate people out there who aren't being drama queens or paranoid. But let's just say that male managers leave their doors open now when in meetings with female subordinates. People are getting meta-anxiety about these abstract cultural currents and I'm no exception: I don't think it's that rational to assume every man thinks women aren't worth having relationships with, nor that every woman thinks all men are patriarchal rapists. But I think SOME people think that way, and that creates its own dynamic, especially since most people don't think for themselves.

ZDoes · Answer

Because that leads to the friend zone. And there is no worse a hell for a man regarding a woman he's attracted to. There's almost no way out of this hell once there And to accept being there is harmful to a man's integrity, self respect because no man wants or is ever really okay with being there. But we fake it just on the off chance the right circumstances occur where she slips up and let's her guard down enough for the guy to make a move. It's a fools endeavor. Because even if he's successful, she will most likely immediately return to her original thinking regarding him come morning.
But make no mistake ladies. We as a rule hate being friend zoned. We didn't start a conversation with you to be friends. Our motivations are always sexually oriented and if a guy tells you otherwise he is lying to you. Friendship is not our goal when we start. And men require physical contact of a sexual nature in order to produce the chemicals associated with feelings of intimacy. Deep meaningful and connective conversation actually decreases these chemicals in men. The male bio system actually requires physical contact for these chemicals to be produced.
So to answer your question,
By leaving you wanting, making you pursue us, keeps us out of the friend zone. Making you work for it, increases desireous anticipation which enters into a kind of feed back loop the longer it stews in your brain. The longer it stews and is stoked with just enough contact but never satisfied the hotter and hornier and willing to engage in sexually oriented contact you become. With out this, and by chasing you, being of service to you, only puts us in line for entrance to the friend zone. And the friend is always a living hell for a man when he's interested in a woman sexually. And we will say, almost unanimously, lying through our teeth, that we're okay with it. Don't ever believe it.

humpbackjack · Answer

I would say for the most part they’re chicken. They seem to be so afraid of being rejected they don’t even get in the game. In there defense a really weak defense but a defense the girls now a days seem to be less approachable and get upset or act like a guys a weirdo stalker if he goes up and talks to her in public and they don’t just reject him they make a scene in public and on the internet at least that’s what I’ve read on here. So ladies ease up a little on these dudes and guys if one chick rejects you then try ten more and if they reject you the grab up your nut sack and try a hundred more and stop trying stupid lines just be cool introduce yourself chat her up a little and ask her if she’d like to do something sometime and offer her your info. Most important look her in the eyes and be confident find something about yourselves that you can feel good about and go in like it’s a job interview that you know you got kinda confidence and be charming. Also you should get a vibe of whether she’s gonna be in bitch mode or not so you can decide which direction to take it when chatting her up and if she’s with friends don’t ignore them and don’t try to hard and have a quick exit plan just in case. Rejection is always a risk but don’t let it stop you as a man you need to face your fears and this will be an easier one to face in life. But yeah they’re chicken that’s my answer

ChiTown33 · Answer

You know it's funny you ask this. I posed a simple question on here
"Ladies tell us why we should pursue you"? "What dies a fella have to gain by asking you out"?
Not surprisingly it was met with hostility. "how dare i" "what makes you worthwhile". And then the comments got personal and derogatory.
I think most people want companionship of the opposite gender. The problem is each have their own expectations.
I've been single for 45 years. At this point I ask myself " what do I need a woman in my life for"? I've asked many women out in my life. Why would the result be any different than the past.
In other words let's look at this logically. Since the list of women that wouldn't date me than the list of women who would. Wouldn't it make more sense for the ones that do to ask me out? I mean I can keep asking women out and keep getting rejected for the rest of my life and still never get a yes. So logically speaking it makes no sense for me to continue.

Oigit · Answer

One of the big reasons for me is because I was raised to think that its expected of me. It feels like my path in life was laid out by others due to the expectations they imposed on me. So I go against people expectations whenever I can without having a negative effect on myself. That way of thinking become part of my personality in grade school.

A good example of this is the music I listen to and how I dress. Heavy Metal is Satan's music and you can't listen to the Blues or Rap because you are rap. Hearing that several times in elementary school made me run to both. People having issues with Heavy Metal band t-shirts and I can't wear them? Cannibal Corpse t-shirts and Fuck Me Jesus Marduk t-shirt here I come.

K-I-S-S · Answer

For me personally, i don't find many women these days who are worth approaching. Now that i am in a relations so hypothetically or before that.

Also i'm in a point in life where women tend to appraoch me on a constant basis, so i guess that too has slowed down the "hunt".

There are a few, many of them are taken, but some appear to be single.

I know a lot of guys who are also more selective/picky now, after all this dating drama a lot of women stared doing, some things had been going on for a long time.

jim009 · Answer

In a lot of small communities it's really easy for a reputation to get ruined and to become known as a creep just for asking someone out. Pretty much anywhere you would want to ask a girl out many will say it isn't the right place or time - at school they should be free to study, at work its harassment, at the pool or gym you are objectifying them. I find the best place nowadays is online. By making a profile a girl is putting herself out there to be approached. In person, it's the girl's turn to learn to approach. You can have it both ways ladies... of you bring down the patriarchy, and we are all equal now, it needs to become a thing for you to approach us sometimes. Maybe we can form a society where it becomes ok for any gender to approach each other and it would be a simple and casual thing. We are not in this magical place yet though.

JClone55 · Answer

A lot of guys are just lazy. No really, they're fucking lazy. They're lazy at their job, if they have one. They're lazy at home, living in pig pens ( I've seen chicken coops that were cleaner than some guy's apartments). And they're lazy with women. Finding a girl means work. It means effort. It requires ambition and initiative and patience. And it's even more work to keep them once you get them. But it's worth it. Nothing beats having a lady by your side. But if you're lazy, you ain't gonna get one.

Wester1967 · Answer

Assault laws. I don’t want to be near a woman who might be able to hang some harassment accusations on me. Not that I disagree with the law, but I won’t put myself in to a position to have it applied to me.

I don’t meet the superficial list that every woman has. I’m not 6 foot, 6 pack, 6 figures. Why TF even try 90% of the time?
It’s just masochistic.

The 80/20 rule. 80% of women all compete for the top 20% of guys. I’m sort of on the border near top 20. But once I figured this out, it just seemed gross and vulgar and incredibly bad faith to even be involved.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

There are a lot of laws that just don't apply to women for some reason. Duluth model made it harder for men to report domestic violence, rape shield laws help make it easier for false accusations to go through, an underage boy after being raped and got his rapist pregnant or a sperm donor can be held legally responsible for child support, child support can even be applied even if it isn't yours.

The system is fucked and pretty much let's women get away with being sociopaths if they wanted to.

jasco · Answer

In my opinion it’s lack of communication on both ends. Men don’t know how to read some signs and women don’t know how to send the right ones. Lack of knowledge about both genders has also cause confusion amongst each other and themselves. Not saying ladies should lower their standards however as I have said before many times revising and reviewing your standards is a part of life. If multiple men come into your world and each and every single one of them does the same thing than it’s not them it’s you that’s attracting those types of guys. Men if women are constantly being found/sent to you and they are all against your standards than most likely somewhere in your standards is what causes you to attract those types. Life is full of changes and honestly blaming a gender or whatever isn’t gonna fix shit, accountability will

Anpu23 · Answer

For most guys it's about the "me too" style rejection. Where many colleges define sexual assault as "an unwanted advance that makes the receiver uncomfortable" where the guy can end up losing his tuition and getting kicked out of college. It's a learned behavior it's an institutional crippling, and it was intentional and systematic. A lot of high schools and work places also have similar rules. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation so a lot of guys just don't. If the risk isn't worth the gain then many people simply won't take the risk.

Stoner710 · Answer

Mainly it’s because a lot of women’s standards are way to high. I watched this video where a women match maker would not except anymore women clients because there standard were way to high. She was saying that the modern women want the 6 pack abs and have a body like John cena or the rock with a 7 figure income and treat her like she is the queen of England and a 10 inch dick

treating women with respect that’s a given every guy should do that. But no every guy is going to have a John cena body not every guy is going is going to have a 10 inch dock and not every guy is going to be making a 7 figure income. But that’s what women want now days. So for guys who don’t have that it seems pointless to even try. We don’t really see the point. Now with the metoo movement and guys getting accuse of rape falsely it just takes away the insensitive to even try.

DonkeyDan · Answer

We do, or at least some of us still do. I can understand why some don't anymore and I think it's because society says they shouldn't and that women don't want to be approached. Personally I think that's a massive cop out, most women don't feel that way as they are searching for someone too. Yes there are women who don't want to be approached, but not all, and all that will happen is they tell you they aren't interested. Also younger generations have lost or never actually gained social skills because of the way society is these days. The media and some anti masculine organisations would love all men to think that they are no longer allowed to approach women, but most women don't share their views. Society as an entity is too busy telling us how we should act, think, and feel, and it's all a load of crap!!

Why don't men pursue women anymore?

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