I don´t do it for the some reasons firstly I´m an over-thinker and more a planning guy. I´m not good at spontaneous activities. I have problems starting a conversation in a way that doesn´t sound boring. Another reason is my circle of friends: There are no women in my circle of friends or acquaintances that aren´t either married or in a relationship already. I lost much money on giving online dating a shot. Due to Covid there are no place where one could meet a woman to meet my standards because I wouldn´t be looking for a friends with benefits or similar. Plus I have a low self confidence due to a youth of being rather an outsider in school and a genetical dysfunction that leads to issues I have with my body and character that bother me so much that I have problems filling out the role of a "real" man which automatically keeps me from asking out women because I feel like I´m not ready for that.
I think men don't pursue women as much anymore because its a lot easier nowadays to bypass the hard part of going up to a woman and starting a conversation now that the internet can give a man almost everything they want and can get from a woman without having to do that hard part. Think about it... A guy can turn on porn and pick whatever body shape, hair color, positions, pov. Then you have dating apps which literally a guy just has to swipe and if you become a match he knows you didn't reject him because you matched, making him not have to worry about that hard part again. The Internet has made things too easy for men and convenient.
The toxic attitudes in here.. It’s no wonder so many here are miserable. You attempt to haul that into a new relationship, it ain’t going to fly. Sure learn from past hurt. It’s not the gender, it’s the behavior. You want something new and fresh? You have to go in with that mindset. Give the best chance at something healthy, and loving.
95% of people don't have an expectant attitude toward life. It's a lack of self esteem, worth, and image. All which are held in the paradigm. And the only way to change that is to do something outside the paradigm. The paradigm controls 95% of our habitual behavior and almost all of our behavior is habitual.
@PoliteSpeaker Agreed. It takes almost physical effort and pure want for change to even want to try something out of our own safe little boxes. When we do try… amazing things can happen.
Just reading your update and your smug attitude could be changed when approaching this topic.
To answer your question, why don't you ask women why they don't pursue men? Chasing/pursuing a woman is a complete waste of time. A lot of men come across women who actually reciprocate and match their energy, provided the man is worth it or genuinely respectful and patient. If I can shoot my shot at 8 women and only 3 of them are actually trying to see me, why would I go for the ones that's failing to play hard to get.
There are nothing of value that has what it takes. She must take herself in the neck and step of the pedestal and begin to bunt and take what she are interested in instead of explaining others to do it.
Equality.
Reverse roles.
She must woman up.
She isn't entitled of anything.
There aren't any women only girl's.
Female's aren't special.
Female's tends to be untrustworthy.
They doesn't make any effort themselves in the right way.
Privileged people tends to not like when they lose them.
...
And so on.
Blaming someone is chicken only makes you a hypocritical self-entitled chicken.
If you want someone take charge and make it happen. if not you only have yourself to blame.
Begin to pursue yourself instead of making up exuses to mot do it.
Chicken, yes. Frightened to death of the narcissism, materialism, and arrogant entitlement. Frightened to death of divorce court, family law courts, and the court of public opinion on social media which requires no evidences and follows no legal due process. Frightened to death of the indifference born of promiscuity not to mention the plethora of STDs that are available. Frightened to death of the double standard posing as equality. The juice ain't worth the squeeze. You knew that before you asked.
It's scary now to approach a woman. There seem to be too many underlying rules and conditions, which most of us are unaware of until you cross them or offend someone.
There can be verbal backlash from woman you approach or their friend (s); advising they wish to be left alone and they didn't come out to be harassed by men.
There are instances where if you are being shiverist (opening a door, offering to pay) you are called patronising or sexest / chauvinistic.
This is not all woman - after a while though you can become beaten down and you do not want to risk putting yourself out there to be rejected, of feel like you have harassed someone.
Ignore the crappy answers these men are giving you.
The reason is because we’re living in a time where people aren’t as social and can gain quick satisfaction without much effort, and there’s also less pressure to settle down.
It’s basically the same reason you see less kids playing with each other outside than ever before.
I’m working on my anxiety and insecurities. I had a stunted childhood that I’m just starting to work through. I’ve always assumed people just wanted to be friends. I’m a 25 year old virgin boi with problems 🤣👌
I understand that. Rationally I know that I just need to get out there and try. But my anxiety is physical and mental, I just want to be more secure in myself. I don’t want to dump this on someone
Regardless of weather it's chicken or not no one likes rejection. Even on the off chance that the response is positive as man your life is basically over then and there. Not only do you risk losing everything you've worked for if you entertain the thought of a relationship, you're also in todays society expected to bend to the woman. Meaning in essence that in worst case scenario you live trapped in a hellish relationship with the only possible exit being to lose everything.
Seems to me that since women are the ones gaining financially and since men are expected to bend to women it's time for women to chase and try to motivate to a man why he should waste his life.
Your reasons why not are the reasons WHY men don’t pursue, every split tail on the planet is looking for a sexual harassment payday, if the guy is cute they accept the pass but if he’s not good looking they’ll cry rape, stalker etc. then there’s the whole feminist thing… if normal feminine women want to be pursued they better get their sick twisted feminazi sisters under control.
Because most females today don't act like ladies. It's sort of like asking why don't we give a gift wrapped present to the guy who curses us every time we walk by him on the street. Feminism has consequences and not getting treated like you're special is one of them.
I need to have a career set up, have an income, have good mental health, be a good listener, and have good ethics meanwhile most women don't even try to be righteous.
Why should men be pursuing women when women have culturally abandoned being associated with men?
They do, but women also see not having a career yet/at x age is a sign of immaturity. So is having a low income. Women don't tend to stick around when they feel like their guy isn't as responsible and mature as he could be
And what is so wrong with that? I would argue that most adults wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't have any drive or direction for their lives.
Having drive or direction isn't the same as not having a career. I have a drive for what I want to do in life, but what I want to do in life isn't a career that makes money.
Its absolutely true that being poor keeps women away, weather it's of your own doing or not. Doesn't matter worth shit to anybody if all I want is to be an amazing husband to someone great if I don't have reliable income. In fact, most women marry shitty low effort guys just so that they don't have to work on their husband and get to live comfortably. That's all anyone cares about in relationships, being comfortable.
My husband was a broke college student when we got married, I was the one who provided for out family since I was the only one working. What you are saying about people wanting to love comfortably can be applied to both genders. It's not a guy or a girl thing.
I'll rephrase because I didn't say the heart of it. I don't pursue women because I feel like I missed the bus for getting my life on track. I doubt I'm worth anyone's time and am lost trying to make myself acceptable. I can't speak for others
@jgibsonian1986 you are 23 years old ffs. I’m 40 and a single father. I was single from Dec 2019 to April 2021. If you feel like that, get some counselling, and get things sorted.
In high school I was afraid of rejection because of social pressures and rejection, and how it would affect things afterwards.
You hit the nail right on though in your updates. After that crap, I realized it doesn't matter if she says no. Just so long as I only do it once, pursue and if she says no... move on.
I'm not going to keep trying, guys that don't take know for an answer are called "Stalkers" and pretty creepy.
The main reason that I do not pursue women anymore... Is because I'm married and there is no way that I'm going to risk the good thing I have going with my wife. Now, I do intend to keep chasing after my wife just as I did when I did not have her. I just want her to be sure that she knows that I will always want her.
Because why bother? Woman only want me perfect muscular Greek god who has 10/10 personalty... And most guys aren't that guy... Infact Im willing to bet 90% of the male population is not attractive to woman anymore.. so the reason we no longer.. is cos woman no longer want/ like us
"4. Very easy to read body language." For you maybe, but not for me. Actually, for an ever-increasing number of people, of both genders, it's becoming difficult. Why? Two reasons: A) the coronavirus restrictions are making people asocial, and B) autism/Asperger's Syndrome rates are sky-rocketing. Body language is not easy to read, because I've been practicing for years now and I still can't get it right.
"5. Social cues are very simple human behaviors." In your opinion, for you. Social cues are horribly complex, and the expression that "It's not rocket science" isn't very helpful, because I actually understand rocket science better than I understand social cues (which make absolutely no sense to me whatsoever).
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@SaoirseS 🍻🍿🍿
Come here often?
@ChrisMaster69. Often enough 😀
@SaoirseS can I interest you in some 🧦🧦
@ChrisMaster69. Ooooh yessss! 😀
@SaoirseS best way to a girls heart, ignore those chocolates and jewellery, go for a decent pair of socks or splash out and get two pairs.
@ChrisMaster69. You have no idea what I might do for a box of a dozen pair from JC Penney 🥰
@SaoirseS a friend of mine, her mum told her never to leave home without her socks, just a shame she never said the same about her panties.
That's fancy
@ChrisMaster69. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I don´t do it for the some reasons firstly I´m an over-thinker and more a planning guy. I´m not good at spontaneous activities. I have problems starting a conversation in a way that doesn´t sound boring.
Another reason is my circle of friends: There are no women in my circle of friends or acquaintances that aren´t either married or in a relationship already.
I lost much money on giving online dating a shot. Due to Covid there are no place where one could meet a woman to meet my standards because I wouldn´t be looking for a friends with benefits or similar.
Plus I have a low self confidence due to a youth of being rather an outsider in school and a genetical dysfunction that leads to issues I have with my body and character that bother me so much that I have problems filling out the role of a "real" man which automatically keeps me from asking out women because I feel like I´m not ready for that.
I think men don't pursue women as much anymore because its a lot easier nowadays to bypass the hard part of going up to a woman and starting a conversation now that the internet can give a man almost everything they want and can get from a woman without having to do that hard part. Think about it... A guy can turn on porn and pick whatever body shape, hair color, positions, pov. Then you have dating apps which literally a guy just has to swipe and if you become a match he knows you didn't reject him because you matched, making him not have to worry about that hard part again. The Internet has made things too easy for men and convenient.
The toxic attitudes in here.. It’s no wonder so many here are miserable. You attempt to haul that into a new relationship, it ain’t going to fly.
Sure learn from past hurt.
It’s not the gender, it’s the behavior.
You want something new and fresh? You have to go in with that mindset. Give the best chance at something healthy, and loving.
95% of people don't have an expectant attitude toward life. It's a lack of self esteem, worth, and image. All which are held in the paradigm. And the only way to change that is to do something outside the paradigm. The paradigm controls 95% of our habitual behavior and almost all of our behavior is habitual.
@PoliteSpeaker Agreed. It takes almost physical effort and pure want for change to even want to try something out of our own safe little boxes. When we do try… amazing things can happen.
Just reading your update and your smug attitude could be changed when approaching this topic.
To answer your question, why don't you ask women why they don't pursue men?
Chasing/pursuing a woman is a complete waste of time. A lot of men come across women who actually reciprocate and match their energy, provided the man is worth it or genuinely respectful and patient. If I can shoot my shot at 8 women and only 3 of them are actually trying to see me, why would I go for the ones that's failing to play hard to get.
Like hell.
1. No man was ever arrested for a complimenting a woman. Untrue - men have been beaten up for this.
2. Saying you are pretty doesn't equal prison. It sure can if she didn't like what you said.
3. It's very easy to keep your hands to yourself. It is until she lies and says you didn't.
4. Very easy to read body language. Not for everyone.
5. Social cues are very simple human behaviors. No, they are not.
6. Manners are not rocket science. Manners don't matter.
7. Conversation doesn't equal sex crime. It easily can if she isn't attracted to you.
8. Flirting and Harassment are very different things. (See number 7 above).
You will eventually wind out that women have weaponized the legal system, and YOU and all men are the intended targets.
There are nothing of value that has what it takes.
She must take herself in the neck and step of the pedestal and begin to bunt and take what she are interested in instead of explaining others to do it.
Equality.
Reverse roles.
She must woman up.
She isn't entitled of anything.
There aren't any women only girl's.
Female's aren't special.
Female's tends to be untrustworthy.
They doesn't make any effort themselves in the right way.
Privileged people tends to not like when they lose them.
...
And so on.
Blaming someone is chicken only makes you a hypocritical self-entitled chicken.
If you want someone take charge and make it happen. if not you only have yourself to blame.
Begin to pursue yourself instead of making up exuses to mot do it.
Chicken, yes. Frightened to death of the narcissism, materialism, and arrogant entitlement. Frightened to death of divorce court, family law courts, and the court of public opinion on social media which requires no evidences and follows no legal due process. Frightened to death of the indifference born of promiscuity not to mention the plethora of STDs that are available. Frightened to death of the double standard posing as equality. The juice ain't worth the squeeze. You knew that before you asked.
Scared of what? Losing nothing. You aren't leaving with less than you came with. It's one dame.
It's scary now to approach a woman. There seem to be too many underlying rules and conditions, which most of us are unaware of until you cross them or offend someone.
There can be verbal backlash from woman you approach or their friend (s);
advising they wish to be left alone and they didn't come out to be harassed by men.
There are instances where if you are being shiverist (opening a door, offering to pay) you are called patronising or sexest / chauvinistic.
This is not all woman - after a while though you can become beaten down and you do not want to risk putting yourself out there to be rejected, of feel like you have harassed someone.
Ignore the crappy answers these men are giving you.
The reason is because we’re living in a time where people aren’t as social and can gain quick satisfaction without much effort, and there’s also less pressure to settle down.
It’s basically the same reason you see less kids playing with each other outside than ever before.
I’m working on my anxiety and insecurities. I had a stunted childhood that I’m just starting to work through. I’ve always assumed people just wanted to be friends. I’m a 25 year old virgin boi with problems 🤣👌
Most that happens is you leave with what you came with, you aren't losing anything
I understand that. Rationally I know that I just need to get out there and try. But my anxiety is physical and mental, I just want to be more secure in myself. I don’t want to dump this on someone
Take mma
Seriously it's good for confidence
I don’t know what MMA is, I’m doing therapy sessions that are helping me though. I’m hoping to try for something before the end of the year
Martial arts
I’m not like afraid of being attacked, I just have anxiety
I snow it helps anxiety
Makes you like you
Regardless of weather it's chicken or not no one likes rejection. Even on the off chance that the response is positive as man your life is basically over then and there. Not only do you risk losing everything you've worked for if you entertain the thought of a relationship, you're also in todays society expected to bend to the woman. Meaning in essence that in worst case scenario you live trapped in a hellish relationship with the only possible exit being to lose everything.
Seems to me that since women are the ones gaining financially and since men are expected to bend to women it's time for women to chase and try to motivate to a man why he should waste his life.
Because most women in western society are nothing but a self perpetuating attention seeking pain in the ass with jack and shit for self esteem.
Along with having the planning and decision making ability that is on par with a 3rd world government bearuacracy.
Your reasons why not are the reasons WHY men don’t pursue, every split tail on the planet is looking for a sexual harassment payday, if the guy is cute they accept the pass but if he’s not good looking they’ll cry rape, stalker etc. then there’s the whole feminist thing… if normal feminine women want to be pursued they better get their sick twisted feminazi sisters under control.
See above
See my statement…
200 word excuse
Thanks
Because most females today don't act like ladies. It's sort of like asking why don't we give a gift wrapped present to the guy who curses us every time we walk by him on the street. Feminism has consequences and not getting treated like you're special is one of them.
Because of the gross double standards.
I need to have a career set up, have an income, have good mental health, be a good listener, and have good ethics meanwhile most women don't even try to be righteous.
Why should men be pursuing women when women have culturally abandoned being associated with men?
Gross?
general or large-scale; not fine or detailed.
@Subarugirl seems 25 and younger most
You've lucked out i guess
If you've had ones that age approach
Aother way of saying it is there is little point investing all my time and effort in pursuing someone who would leave me over petty shit like money.
Why? Because most women want personal suger daddies, not husbands.
That's not true. Most women want a responsible, driven and mature partner. It's not as much about the money as most men would like to believe.
They do, but women also see not having a career yet/at x age is a sign of immaturity. So is having a low income. Women don't tend to stick around when they feel like their guy isn't as responsible and mature as he could be
And what is so wrong with that? I would argue that most adults wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't have any drive or direction for their lives.
@Subarugirl I wouldn't
Having drive or direction isn't the same as not having a career. I have a drive for what I want to do in life, but what I want to do in life isn't a career that makes money.
Its absolutely true that being poor keeps women away, weather it's of your own doing or not. Doesn't matter worth shit to anybody if all I want is to be an amazing husband to someone great if I don't have reliable income. In fact, most women marry shitty low effort guys just so that they don't have to work on their husband and get to live comfortably. That's all anyone cares about in relationships, being comfortable.
My husband was a broke college student when we got married, I was the one who provided for out family since I was the only one working. What you are saying about people wanting to love comfortably can be applied to both genders. It's not a guy or a girl thing.
I'll rephrase because I didn't say the heart of it.
I don't pursue women because I feel like I missed the bus for getting my life on track. I doubt I'm worth anyone's time and am lost trying to make myself acceptable. I can't speak for others
You're 23 years old? What do you mean? You a felon or a single dad or something?
@jgibsonian1986 you are 23 years old ffs.
I’m 40 and a single father.
I was single from Dec 2019 to April 2021.
If you feel like that, get some counselling, and get things sorted.
@Subarugirl 🤣🤣😊
In high school I was afraid of rejection because of social pressures and rejection, and how it would affect things afterwards.
You hit the nail right on though in your updates. After that crap, I realized it doesn't matter if she says no. Just so long as I only do it once, pursue and if she says no... move on.
I'm not going to keep trying, guys that don't take know for an answer are called "Stalkers" and pretty creepy.
The main reason that I do not pursue women anymore... Is because I'm married and there is no way that I'm going to risk the good thing I have going with my wife. Now, I do intend to keep chasing after my wife just as I did when I did not have her. I just want her to be sure that she knows that I will always want her.
Because why bother? Woman only want me perfect muscular Greek god who has 10/10 personalty... And most guys aren't that guy... Infact Im willing to bet 90% of the male population is not attractive to woman anymore.. so the reason we no longer.. is cos woman no longer want/ like us
"4. Very easy to read body language."
For you maybe, but not for me. Actually, for an ever-increasing number of people, of both genders, it's becoming difficult. Why? Two reasons: A) the coronavirus restrictions are making people asocial, and B) autism/Asperger's Syndrome rates are sky-rocketing.
Body language is not easy to read, because I've been practicing for years now and I still can't get it right.
"5. Social cues are very simple human behaviors."
In your opinion, for you. Social cues are horribly complex, and the expression that "It's not rocket science" isn't very helpful, because I actually understand rocket science better than I understand social cues (which make absolutely no sense to me whatsoever).