Do you think this is a passive aggressive move?

[Anonymous]

Is it passive-aggressive for a man to get up at a party because his girlfriend accepted another man's dance offer?

Is it the right action?

[Anonymous]

There is no escaping the fact that there is most definitely a sexual subtext to dancing.

It rather depends on the people involved as to whether or not or how much of a problem this is and clearly it is a problem for him.

No doubt some will see it as an over reaction but pretending there is no basis at all for a reaction is absurd and displays a profound ignorance of social interaction and cultural norms and customs.

[Asker]

So, how do you evaluate the act of getting up and leaving instead of reacting?

that is, the issues that people get angry about can vary. but the important thing is how he reflects his anger, right? and do not react to neither the other man nor his lover, and he just leaving the place, isn’t it insecurity?

[Opinion Owner]

Its none of my business what it is.

Im not staking a claim on a position, trying to tell anyone whether or not they should dance or how the other should react to it, so far as i can see everything is valid, it depends on the person.

All Im saying to you is that there most certainly a basis for a partnered person to be unhappy with their partner dancing with another.

You want to know what the problem is?

Its that people dont actually talk about anything, they dont establish any parameters for the relationships that they enter into, everyone just assumes that whatever they think is ok is ok for everyone even though that obviously not going to be the case.

So this wasn't dealt with ahead of time like it could have been, it was an emergent situation which was then just thrust upon everyone and they are then left to deal with it as best they can.

The guy didn't make a scene, not really, he just left, he has indicated that what just happened isn't ok with him and other people are then left to make their choices too.

As I have said, I have an expectation that everyone is fully aware that there is a sexual subtext to dancing, ignorance is not an excuse for this. The guy who asked the lady to dance knew it, the lady who excepted the invitation knew it and the guy who just got humilated, in his eyes most certainly knew it.

[Opinion Owner]

Some people like it when other people hit on their partners, they like the feeling of other people wanting what they have so long as they come home etc. Some people even like it when their partner is being fucked in front of them while their partner tells them what a weak and pathetic bitch they are. What people do is none of my business, the watch word however is consent and this guy did not consent to this.

Some will argue that no consent is required, its only dancing, you shouldn't be so insecure they say but that is just a lot of bullshit to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and put blame onto the 'victim' the injured party.

People should talk, but they dont.

[Opinion Owner]

accepted the invitation*

[BarryLiverstone]

If you mean that he got upset that’s no Bueno. Did he expect her to reject the invitation?

[Asker]

I did not experience this event.

but since he had reacted, of course he expected her to refuse. When the girl does not refuse, the boy gets up and leaves. Is this passive aggressive?

[BarryLiverstone]

Wouldn’t define the action as passive aggressive no. I thought you meant that he got upset. So did he literally leave the party?

[Asker]

this question came to my mind randomly and I asked my boyfriend. His response to me was "I expected you to decline, but if you didn't it, I would have got up and left". Even though I did not experience his incident, I learned his point of view. Do you think I should reconsider my relationship? I think I'm starting to think he's a passive-aggressive.

[BarryLiverstone]

You should constantly consider the strength of your relationship and evolve/change with him. But no if you are asking should you break up over one answer that’s not great either. The better follow up would be asking him why he would expect you to decline the dance offer and why he would leave. You will likely hear back that he feels that you had disrespected him

[Asker]

Whatever situation seems suspicious to me, I prefer to focus on it.

if his answers to my other questions are relatively reasonable, that is no excuse for me to ignore the illogical.

I don't care if he's angry or not. I'm interested in how it reflects your anger. And walking away when there's a problem feels like passive-aggressive. so there is a another man who denies his existence, and he prefers to run away rather than show his existence.

[BarryLiverstone]

Another man doesn’t deny his existence. He simply asks for a dance. It’s acceptable to dance with someone even if they are in a relationship

[Anonymous]

He sounds very insecure.

[Asker]

What would a confident man do in this situation?

[Opinion Owner]

Its just a dance, so Id be fine with it, as long as it wasn't a slow dance, lol.