My friends and family - they are literally the best people I have gathered and lucky to know over the years. They will knock your socks off with how awesome they are, and when you see how much these awesome people love me, you have no choice but to also fall in love with me.
It's typical to say, but I am a great lover. I mean, it's all about chemistry though, so YMMV. I am extremely intimate, connected, and physiologically knowledgeable. Time spent naked with me is time well spent.
I'm very handy/versatile - jack of all trades... to the extent people have thought I was lying with all the experiences I've had, as in "no way could your life be that interesting that you've actually done all this." Cooking, massage, sailing, diving, driving, travel, building, teaching, sports, and more.. I'm pretty good at most things I try, and I try lots of things.
Worst parts:
I am inconsistent- I can be super focused, productive, energetic, positive, extroverted and playful. I can also be lazy, boring, self-indulgent/selfish, and introverted. These phases can go anywhere from days/weeks to months.
I can make my partner (s) feel insecure, or exacerbate their insecurity - Kind of ties into "the good", in that because I am a high achiever, if my romantic partner is insecure, it can get worse when they compare themselves to me. I don't think I'm responsible for this really, and I don't belittle my loved ones, but I'm also not the type to cater to insecurity or try to make myself less amazing so that you can feel good about your own negative self-image. I don't think that's healthy or logical.
I'm independent - I don't actually see this as a bad thing, but I think most partners are looking for someone they can be more (co-) dependent with. They want to be attached at the hip and do everything together. This style bores me. I prefer to do my own thing a fail amount, and have my partner do the same. Then, we can meet up and share new information, and also feel connected and like we actually missed each other and are happy to reunite. How can I miss someone if they are never away from me? Anyway, I'm not for everyone due to this, but I think I am perfect for some specifically for this (since I also grant a lot of freedom/independence to partners in reciprocity).
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Anonymous
(18-24)
1 y
I'm clingy, I need to kiss and hug you when I leave for work, and when I come back.
As you cook, I'll be all over you hugging you from the side, back and telling you how happy I am that we're together.
I'll be working a lot less once I get my career started (going from my current 52 hours down to 40-45 hours). I have a big machete collection so I hope you don't mind all of the blades hanging around. I also hope you don't mind scraping noises I make as I sharpen my blades.
I feel burnt out when I come home, so I hope you don't like working out in the evening. I can't stop telling you how beautiful you are inside and out, and how sweet you are to me.
I'm a turbulent introvert and my personality is very complex, so pay attention or you'll say something that seems normal to you but you inadvertently used a phrase that my abusive parents used to emotionally manipulate me and thus I felt a sudden need to go outside for a breather.
I love guns and I'm conservative, so hopefully you'll be so safe around me that you'll feel totally comfortable driving through the "hood" area with me, your friends will think you're crazy!
I hate alcohol, smoking or anything else that I consider toxic, I'm very aggressive about not having any of that in my house, so don't get too angry when I take that $200 bottle of wine you got and smash it!
My lifespan is cut to a minimum of 3/4, so don't hold your breath on retiring cause I'll be dead by then!
If you're still reading this and somehow aren't running a mile, there might be something wrong with you but thanks!☺️
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Anonymous
(30-35)
1 y
Probably the worst part of dating me is I put in way too much effort in the beginning and I thoroughly enjoy doing so but if I don't get the same effort in return, I stop making effort all together. For example, I will rub your back/feet and constantly buy you things or go out of my way to make you dinners that you enjoy and bring them to you so you don't have to move a muscle. But if you do not give me that same energy, you can expect to never have me do anything for you again. My fiance is realizing this now because I put in a shit ton of effort from the start but when he started refusing to even scratch my back and stopped making dinner every once in a while to take the load off of me and stopped putting any thought or effort in to my birthday/Christmas, I stopped doing everything. Now when he asks me to go with him on his birthday, I say no. After all we didn't do jack shit on my birthday because he decided to sleep all day long. If he asks me to get him a drink, nope. Get it yourself. You don't do anything for me. He is slowly picking up on it and starting to make effort again but honestly I'm over it. 4 years I spent doing everything and now I'm done. You can spoil me for awhile.
The worst—> According to others I’m harsh because I’m hard on people: my friends, family, partner. Thing is I’m especially hard myself because I’m no hypocrite. I practice exactly what I preach indefinitely
Back to the point though, I expect the bare minimum which seems to be too much for people. If you f up (could be small to you but whatever), I would leave you instantly and not look back. Once it’s over it’s over. It’ll be as if we never knew each other.
this actually seems pretty toxic, like someone I would want to avoid. The whole "I expect the bare minimum" yeah okay, that makes it sound like you are easy going, but then you do a 180 on the next line with how someone can do something that seems small to them, but it's big to you, so you leave instantly and not look back (ghost). That could also be seen as a refusal to communicate and just blame the other person. That's not "the bare minimum" at all. that's they need to act perfect according to your standards which you won't communicate they just are expected to be psychic, and if they aren't and cross your invisible line that they have no idea where it is, you're out.
If that's accurate, then you're right, it's better for people to never even meet you if that's your approach. Otherwise anyone unfortunate enough to get involved with you is just dating a time bomb.
@zeitgeist057 Here we go with the delusional assumptions 🙄.
Listen up genius, the bare MINIMUM (since you obviously have no idea what it consists of) is something like. . not being a sexist, having respect for partner, take responsibility for what they’ve done wrong, not an abuser/manipulator, not a cheater, etc.
Therefore, if my boyfriend is a sexist, for example, believing JUST because I’m a gal I’m to cook and clean the house. That’s a break up because I shouldn’t have to teach common sense to a pos. I don’t care what you think of that. Sexism cannot be untaught, other women can try and teach a tard but I will not waste my time. I WILL communicate, with a normal guy who doesn’t attempt to be actually what toxic is by pretending cheating is a mistake for a example.
You can take your pos opinion and shove it. I know how a relationship supposed to work unlike you, you don’t even know what the bare minimum is so why would I care what you think
thanks for confirming your abusive toxic nature :) Definitely the type of person myself or anyone with self respect avoids. You'll end up with what you deserve, but you'll probably think you're too good for someone of a similar class, and then you can choose to be alone.
Again, the respond to calm discourse is abusive language. Being disrespectful and belittling others is a disqualification for those who respect themselves and others. It's the equivalent of being rude to wait staff or retail workers. Or smoking. Being of this self-imposed class, they have no idea the self-elimination they've perpetrated, and end up wailing about "the bare minimum seems to be too much for people". The truth is, we end up where you belong according to the way we treat others, and experience a quality of people similar to ourselves, who have a similar level of respect for themselves and others.
If all one seems to attract are sexists and cheaters, it's time to have a look in the mirror and think about the energy one is putting out.
PS. This response is more for reasonable and introspective people looking for insight into human behavior, less so for people like hlopinionated, who I can only assume will continue to act disrespectfully and dismissively in the manner already demonstrated. I don't take offense or take it personally, she has already stated that she treats everyone harshly. Her reaction and choice of language has little to do with me, and more to do with her personal issues.
If what you're doing doesn't work, and you keep doing it, uh yeah you're a victim alright. Of your own failure to adapt. You can blame everyone else, and if being a victim is satisfying to you, you're welcome to it. There are lots of people who live their lives in victimhood, whining and pointing their fingers at everyone else. Most people aren't really fooled, and the only ones that will stick around are the enablers.
Not at all what I said, but I can see your head is not interested in logical discourse, but rather misdirection and "being right" above all else. That's not really my style, which would just be one more reason why the more I interact with you, the more I (and any other self-respecting person) just want to walk the other way. I'm sure you can delude yourself into thinking it's because you're so smart and because everyone else is wrong. Enjoy the life you build for yourself. If having the last word in an empty room after driving everyone away is your idea of satisfaction, be my guest. :D
You said “failure to adapt” adapt to what? ,“you’re a victim right” as if we actually aren’t victims. Systematic sexist exists “you can blame everyone else“ ?
“whining and pointing fingers at everyone else” Seriously?-_-
If I’m literally talking about sexist people and you respond that way, obviously you’re blaming women who don’t want to deal with sexist people. Again, not being sexist is the BARE MINIMUM
When I said "failure to adapt", I was generalizing. Not just about sexism. You seem a little obsessed about that particular word/idea, so I'm going to move away from that, and approach the topic conceptually.
As a concept, adaptation is when we take into account the environment, then figure out our strategy to overcome whatever obstacles we find. This could be sexism, but it could also be racism, poverty, violence/aggression, low wages, toxic personalities, a depleted ozone layer, or rising levels of mercury in fish.
Now, the depleted ozone layer is a good example. What can we do about that? Start a crusade to reduce emissions and restore balance to the environment? Ideal, perhaps. Achievable for one person? Not so much. Not to dissuade anyone, but I would recommend in addition to fighting the good fight, we also in the meantime will want to be using sunblock when exposed to radiation. Because identifying the problem, and even pointing fingers blaming others for the issue, is not going to keep us from getting skin cancer if we don't wear sunblock.
So, again, CONCEPTUALLY, we can apply this framework to a wide variety of situations when thinking about how to adapt and overcome.
I want to point out I've not been talking about sexism up to this point. That is a subject brought up solely by you, and continue to force it into the situation in a one-sided way, even though I was not making reference to, or victim blaming or any of the other "you're obviously saying ________ ______ ______" false accusations. Even attempting to put words in my mouth and accuse me of saying things I absolutely did not say or imply. My point was one of empowerment, not blame. All my statements have been conceptual ones, which you have chosen to insert sexism into. I referred to PEOPLE (<---nongendered statement) who belittle others or treat others poorly. In NONE of my responses will you see me using gendered pronouns to point a finger or blame one gender or another for anything. I absolutely agree that sexism exists, just as racism and other prejudices, but I am not blaming a demographic for it.
Ironically, wouldn't that be a sexist/racist/(etc)?
People who treat others like shit reinforce stereotypes for the simple minded. If someone is treated poorly, and they don't see that person as a human, but rather categorize them as "a black/white/(race)/etc", a "Jew/Muslim/Christian/atheist/(religion)/etc", or this gender or that. It is a facilitator for discrimination. It creates opportunity for self confirmation bias.
PS I also want to add I appreciate the absence of abusive language your last few responses. Thank you for adapting and overcoming that obstacle to discourse. :)
The best part is the marriage which I’ve never had and the worst party is the status game you have to play to get security and good guys. Like building skills whether in the kitchen or at school or work or at socialization is tough, but without empowering skill, guys will always choose other women over you.
This is a good question. I would say probably the worst thing about dating me would be that when I get on a topic I'm passionate about I can talk too much lol. Even my close female friend said I can be a talker sometimes🤣
Best: Love, affection, caring, independent - babe i cook ur fav food - babe, u want massages? - good morning babe, here's ur breakfast, lunch, dinner - lemme cuddle youuuuu - baby r u sick? dont work too hard lemme do these things n grab u medicine
Worst: Jealousy, trust issues, over thinking, clingy - who is she? - why u didn't reply my text? - where have u been? - who u gon hang with? - text me, snap me around u
But sometimes.. Me: oh u wanna hang out w ur buddies? okay have fun babe! Also me: why dont u text me? who u with? snap me all around u!
Best: - I'm never boring. - I'm very intelligent (I at least I think so!) - I'm loyal as f*ck. - I treat people who treat me good back equally. - I actually appreciate love and relationships.
Worst: - Literally all physical traits. But let's just narrow it town to height, weight, and small penis. - I'm kind of a cynic/misanthrope.
I’m very loyal, I put your needs infront of my own, I’m good with communication - if you are too then there won’t be any big fights over misunderstandings.
Worst part would probably be mental illness. I require a lot of reassurance and validation in a relationship, I overthink a lot, and you’ve got to be able to help me with my episodes once or twice a year. I also have a lot of trauma on specific things so you’ve got to be understanding of that and not belittle me otherwise it’s not going to work out.
The best and worst is probably the same thing, I'm active and big into the outdoors, if your lazy or you can't keep up, that will suck for you. If you love it, and enjoy things like horseback riding, atv riding and seeing the forests and mountains, off the beaten path then you'd love it.
Best part : Honest, Loyal, only have eyes for him, protective, supports their ambitions, takes charge, has many interesting topics, very loving, caring, good at making out and loves to hang out a lot.
Worst part : Dominant, want them to put more efforts initially, demand unconditional love, have a very bad temper once I lose trust and I cut off after feeling wronged, no second chances for dishonest and shady people.
Best: I'm very caring and loving. I have a very bubbly and outgoing personality. I'm a good cook. I have a high sex drive and I'm very open minded sexually.
I'm scatter-brained a lot, ADHD. I talk a lot too lol so I realize that can get annoying. I have a bit of a temper on me.
Best part: if I love you & want to be w/ you then I will try to give you as much as I can and I’ll never stop being attentive to you and will always go the route of consistent & secure effort towards the relationship.
Worst part: I’m terrible w/ time management so when I say “I’ll be there at 10:30” you should automatically assume “oh, okay, so realistically that means she will most likely (really) be getting here at 11:15” 😬
I go the distance for those I love and I'm a total hopeless romantic. Rom coms? Cheesy texts throughout the day? Everything is an "adventure"? Yeah that's me.
Downside
I'm my own worst critic and nobody could possibly hate me more than I hate myself. I also have A. D. D which is a blessing and a curse.
The best part about dating me is that I love to spoil the hell out of her. I enjoy fancy dinners, expensive hotels etc. If we’re going to a concert it’s gonna come with backstage passes. The worst part is that I’m extremely introverted. Being around groups of people and socializing is exhausting to me. So while the dates will be awesome, it takes a lot of motivation to get me there in the first place.
Worst: I don't care much for emotional responses nor do I do the "little things" that some women seem fixated on.
Best: I show up. If I am needed and it's someone I care for I show up. Doesn't matter the distance, weather, my mood, etc. I show up because I want to genuinely help however I can and I've grown up without that support and know full well what desperation feels like.
A lifetime of living with a wandering mind has thoroughly acclimated me to being lost in thought. When you ask if I'd still love you if you were transformed into a stapler, my confused silence isn't befuddlement, it's *thinking*. And when I reply with "Well, what kind of stapler?", I'll not only have ready answers, but explanations for them.
Best part of dating me: I'm really good in bed, I eat pussy like a champ, I'm hot, most part of the time I'm well-dressed, I can talk about a lot of things and make everyone feel comfy in my presence.
The worst thing about me: I'm a malignant narcissist. 😂
Also, I'm a lavish spender and tend to get in debt too frequently.
I’m an introvert, so i’m not always going to have the energy to hang out and i cancel or reschedule plans fairly often. But i’m great company when i’m on! Ell oh ell! I’m easy. When i’m on, i’m down to go anywhere and do anything, or go nowhere and do nothing. It’s all good in my hood. Ell oh ell!
The worst part of dating me. I am hard to figure out, what I want and how I feel at times and I struggle with self esteem issues. Thebest part is I go out of my way to serve my SO, i find joy in pleasing my SO and making her happy. I love going on simple dates and also adventurous dates ( gold mining, fishing, hiking, and traveling). I am pretty easy to please and I am content. I also just enjoy a women who chooses to spend her precious time with me.
Well your date probably has that ( your bed, that is) as a target anyway. I think you are very attractive so I'd think you would have a wide selection at your disposal. I'm A bit far fro Switzerland but That's d be more than happy to volunteer for the position.
Best: I will give you all the love and affection you could possibly ever want, clean and do your laundry, help you with personal projects to the best of my ability, including lots of emotional and mental support
Worst: I'm kind of scared of almost everything, but still willing to do those things because I can't let fear dictate my life
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